Hansen's (18 reviews)

Hansen's Self Beauty Elixer Blushing Berry

Hansen's Self Beauty Elixer Blushing Berry

Baby girl you're getting married today and I have just the thing for you. Don't look at me like that! No, it's not an energy drink! It's a beauty elixir. It will make you glow girl! You know how they refer to people as blushing brides? Well in the olden days that would happen naturally, but with all of the artificial crap that is in food now a days your body needs a little help. That's where Hansen's comes in. They have come up with a formula with all of the vitamins and nutrients that a bride to be needs to give her the blush at the alter. On top of that they gave it a nice berry flavor. It's a mixture of blackberries, blueberries raspberries and strawberries. For a little extra something something they even added a little bit of cranberry in there. Unfortunately in order for the formula to work properly they did have to add a little sucralose to it, but it's so slight of an amount that you can't really tell that it's there at all. The acerola in there you can taste a bit and it gives it a weird twist. It's weird, but it's good.

Baby girl you are going to blush so hard at the alter after you drink this, your husband isn't going to know what to think. Seriously though, do you think anyone is really going to believe you just because you're wearing a white dress? Let's get real here.

Website
http://www.hansens.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 17th, 2012
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Self Beauty Elixir Blushing Berry, 8-Ounce Boxes (Pack of 24)

Hansen's Sugar Free Acai Black Tea

Hansen's Sugar Free Acai Black Tea

Oh, no. I don't want to do this to Hansen's again. I really like a lot of their products but I have to do this. I owe it to myself so that I may sleep at night and the public since I am the messenger. People come here for professionally written reviews about products the world loves. This, though...phew. What a dump of a drink. It is a liquid. This is true. It tastes like some garbage, diet powder mix drink. Now, I've had some of those that are good, but this would not be one of those. I'm not 100% on Acai's bus. I'm half way out the door with the driver pushing me in so that he can get me, and my fellow riders, to our destination on time. Don't push me, bus driver. I'm not ready to give in, yet. This drink is bitterly sweet like Acai drinks are but, man, uber-sweet and uber-diet.

This is an abomination of a black tea. Black tea should sue Hansen's for the slander that is this drink. As soon as this hits my mouth I am in terror. Diet. Bleh. I've drunk Spenda drinks before but this might take the cake as being some of the worst I've ever had. There are light years of distance between "sugar free" and "unsweetened" and if you don't know that, you should get out of the game and enjoy something else.

Hansens. You know I love you. I love many of your products. If you could remove this and that pineapple drink that I hated from your line, I would give you the highest reward of plugging the daylights out of you, until then, justice.

Website
http://www.hansens.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Splenda
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on June 14th, 2012
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Hansen Beverage Acai Black Tea Sugar Free, 16-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Hansen's Natural Cane Soda Creamy Root Beer

Hansen's Natural Cane Soda Creamy Root Beer

Mike and I get nutty over Hansen’s sodas. A few years ago he ordered a case and he and editor Dan went on a mini tour with my old band. We drank way more soda than anyone should, but we were stuck in a van for long periods of time, and you get bored, so you drink. The thing is that Mike ordered all of the fruity flavors. They were all great. Even when they were on the verge of boiling from being in the van for days in the middle of August, they still tasted good (albeit extremely weird and corrosive). For as much as I love their other sodas this is the first time that I have tried their root beer, and I am shockingly not impressed. It tastes like the company took a normal everyday root beer like A&W or Dads and just switched out the sweetener for cane sugar. There’s nothing really special to the flavor at all. Since it claims to be creamy, I expected there to be a heavy vanilla presence, but it’s only slightly more apparent than in “normal” root beers. I can’t say that I dislike it at all, but I just expected more from a company who has made other sodas that were so spectacular.

Website
http://www.hansens.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Root Beer, Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on May 4th, 2012
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Hansen Beverage Creamy Rootbeer Soda, 12-Ounce Cans (Pack of 24)

Hansen's Natural Cane Soda Pomegranate

Hansen's Natural Cane Soda Pomegranate

Finally I’ve found a pop that captures the essence of pomegranates. I have drunk dozens of pomegranate and pomegranate + [other fruit] hybrids and something is lost in most of them. Anyone who has ever eaten a real pomegranate knows what I'm talking about. That sweetness mixed with the bitterness mixed with the deliciousness. Sure, you don't get yellow hands from drinking this like you do prepping a real, live pomegranate, but do you really ever miss that? Preparing the pomegranate makes you look like you've been smoking sixteen cartons of cigarettes per day for your entire life.

This is great and I think that it's one of the Hansen's flavors that is available that I can get in my area. If you like pomegranates and are wearing a white shirt and don't want to get juice all over it, this is not only clear, but tastes like what you want. Win, win, win, win. Also, if I may teach you something that I learned; if you put cut a pomegranate in half and whack the back with a wooden spoon, you can get all the little flavor crystals out pretty easily. Just watch how hard you hit it because there is a lot of "loose juice" that can come at you. You're welcome for saving you like ten minutes per fruit.

Website
http://www.hansens.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on April 17th, 2012
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Hansen Beverage Pomegranate Soda, 12-Ounce Cans (Pack of 24)

Hansen's Sugar Free Passionfruit Green Tea

Hansen's Sugar Free Passionfruit Green Tea

I’m sorry, but I have nothing positive to say about this drink. It doesn’t really taste like tea at all, even though it has natural tea solids. It also tastes overly diet. Splenda is the devil, and it has no place in beverages. Drink companies of the world take note. It’s gross. I don’t want to drink it. Keep it out of your drinks, so I don’t have to taste it when I write reviews. I understand the need for diet drinks. We live in a country where the majority of the inhabitants are overweight in an unhealthy way. Diet drinks are fine; just use natural sweeteners such as Stevia. Finally, the peach flavor tastes insanely fake due to all of the artificial sweetener that’s in here. Hansen’s I expected more from you.

Website
http://www.hansens.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Acesulfame Potassium
Categories
Diet, Iced Tea
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 29th, 2012
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Hansen Beverage Iced Peach Green Tea, 16-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Hansen's Natural Pomegranate Green Tea

Hansen's Natural Pomegranate Green Tea

Dear Hansens,
You make some very tasty beverages, but this isn't one of them. I bought this from Big Lots for 70 cents so you obviously already know this and have taken the steps to discontinue this awful iced tea. I'd expect this bland taste from a generic gas station iced tea, but not you. The worst part is that this is sweetened with cane sugar but it tastes like high fructose corn syrup. I can't even taste the pomegranate and the green tea tastes more like black tea. I bought a few flavors from this same discontinued line from Big Lots that I'm suddenly not so excited to try.

Website
http://www.hansens.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on January 11th, 2012
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Hansen Beverage Pomegranate Green Tea, 12 - 16-Ounce Bottles

Hansen's Self Beauty Elixer Tropical Bliss

Hansen's Self Beauty Elixer Tropical Bliss

Hey Paul, are you really entering that beauty contest? I mean that's a joke right? You look like a gorilla somehow mated with an eel. Your parents are fairly good looking, how did you end up so weird looking? I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I just wanted to make sure you didn't completely embarrass yourself out on that stage. Sure you have a great act for the skill section. I don't know anyone else who can balance all of their body weight on their nose while singing Cher songs like you can. What is that, your secret weapon? I don't think it's really going to work, but if you want to give it a try, it's all you.

Wow! You pounded that can and now you look like a young Steve Guttenberg. I don't know if it's enough to win, but it's a definite improvement and you won't get laughed off of stage. Do you have another? Hmm this tastes like a light tropical fruit punch. It's got sucralose in it, but it's one of the better tasting diet drinks I've ever had. What's that? I don't look any different? Well is that really a shocker? I mean did you really think I could look any better? I'm pretty much Oscar Wilde's dream come to life.

Website
http://www.hansens.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on June 10th, 2011
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Self Beauty Elixir Tropical Bliss, 8-Ounce Cans (Pack of 12)

Hansen's Natural Energy Pro Citrus

Hansen's Natural Energy Pro Citrus

Hansen's makes a damn good soda. There are no questions there. In the past, I haven't had the best luck with "natural" energy drinks. They always taste bad, but not in the normal energy drink way. Bad in the "now I know why companies load their drinks with sugar to mask these flavors" way.

I'm happy to say that Hansen's knows how to make an energy drink! This is really delicious. It almost taste like a less syrupy grapefruit soda with a splash of Mountain Dew. There's no battery acid taste, which is great. As far as the energy portion of the drink goes, I've been dancing in my chair to Kanye West while writing this whole interview so I think it's working. Good work Hansen's!

Website
http://www.hansens.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucrose
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on April 18th, 2011
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Hansen's Energy Pro, Citrus, 8.3-Ounce Cans (Pack of 12)

Hansen's Lo-Cal Juice Cocktail Tropical Mangosteen

Hansen's Lo-Cal Juice Cocktail Tropical Mangosteen

Mangosteen may not be my favorite fruit ever, but it still has a little something going for it. I blame the name. Even though I know it has absolutely nothing to do with mangoes my brain always expects a little bit of their flavor to creep in. Of course it never does.

This is more of a tropical fruit punch than it is mangosteen. It does have mangosteen juice in it, but it doesn't show up on the ingredients list until after apple, orange, pineapple and passionfruit. All of those flavors blend together into one solid flavor.

Had this been made with cane sugar I imagine I would be in love with it. Hansen's decided to give the world a nice natural lo-cal treat so they used rebiana as a sweetener. As I've stated many time I'm not a huge fan of diet drinks, but as far as they go anything sweetened with the stevia plant is far superior to any artificial lo-cal sweeteners. You can still tell it's diet by the taste, but it's not enough to turn you off from the flavor of the fruit juice held within.

Website
http://www.hansens.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Rebiana
Categories
Diet, Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on April 18th, 2011
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Hansen's Lo-Cal Tropical Mangosteen Juice, 64-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 8)

Hansen's Lo-Cal Juice Cocktail Pomegranate Blackberry

Hansen's Lo-Cal Juice Cocktail Pomegranate Blackberry

Hansen's, you know what you are doing when it comes to sodas. I don't care what Derek thinks. Mike and I love you for your fizzy greatness. Your canned smoothies left a lot to be desired. In fact I think your pineapple coconut one was the first drink we ever gave a "one-bottle" review to. I know we use the phrase "barf sauce" a decent amount on here, but that smoothie literally tasted like vomit. So you are up for pop, down for soda.

Here we venture forth into your third line of drinks, juice. This here is the tiebreaker and as it turns out, you come out on the winning team. This is some pretty great juice. It's good on it's own, but the fact that it's a diet juice puts it over the top. Rebiana is a great lo-cal sweetener that doesn't have a very strong diet taste. It tastes like pomegranate and blackberry, just the way it should. I wish it was more than 35% fruit juice, but as I said for a diet beverage, this has a lot going for it.

Website
http://www.hansens.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Rebiana
Categories
Diet, Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 29th, 2011
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Hansen's Lo-Cal Pomegranate Blackberry Juice, 64-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 8)
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