Klarbrunn (5 reviews)

Klarbrunn Vita Ice Pink Grapefruit

Klarbrunn Vita Ice Pink Grapefruit

If diamonds are a girl’s best friend than what would this be? Well let's find out together, shall we? Girls are taken care of. They have diamonds. Good call, girls. Who is left? Men, women, kids, and old people? Who would this be for? I think we can vote out old people because this is too sparkly for them. They like bland things like mashed potatoes with nothing on them and no extra spice. Women already have diamonds from when they were younger since not only are diamonds a girls best friend, but they are also forever so women, pick your diamonds with care since you are living with them.

Kids...I don't think you would be into this. It's sweet but diety sweet. Not much, but kids love sugar and corn syrup. Adults have come to accept it as a necessary evil. Kids? Off the list.

Who's left? Men. I am loosely affiliated with this group here. This is a manly, clear bottle with a sharp carbonation. It's a little diet but it's not labeled as such so you don't need to hand in your man card that you didn't have to do anything to get except either live past twenty eight or save someone from a burning building. The taste of this is like that of a grapefruit. A light grapefruit that you might put a little Splenda on instead of sugar to cut that gnarly sourness that comes with grapefruits.

There you have it men, women, children, and the elderly. You all have your stuff and now men have one more thing than they knew they had yesterday. Congratulations. Sure, with diamonds, girls up to women up to elderly women will pretty eternally win. This is just a diet drink that will go bad six months after you buy it and has a retail price quite lower than a fancy pants, princess cut, F class diamond.

Website
http://www.klarbrunn.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 19th, 2013
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Klarbrunn Vita Ice Acai Blueberry Pomegranate

Klarbrunn Vita Ice Acai Blueberry Pomegranate

So you don’t like oxidants, huh? Do you, or 99% of the population even know what they really are? I’m pretty sure I don’t. I know that they have something to do with being sick, and ingesting antioxidants helps to stave off said sickness, but that’s as far as my knowledge goes. Even though I don’t know the science behind it, I can tell you a lot of fruits that are high in antioxidants. It just so happens that all three fruits mentioned in the name of this beverage fall into that category. What we have here is a naturally flavored sparkling water that is rich in antioxidants and vitamins, or so the company tells us. I have to interject and say, sure there is sparkling water in here, but once you add this much flavoring and sweetener (albeit zero calorie) it ceased to be water in my eyes.

Do you want to know more about how this drink tastes? Well, it tastes like a diet Vitamin Water with bubbles in it…a lot of bubbles. If this wasn’t diet, I think I could get behind it more, as the flavor is fairly decent. Actually, if they had used erythritol or stevia to sweeten it I would probably enjoy it more. The sucralose just makes it unmistakably diet in a way that I can’t handle as much as I try.

Website
http://www.klarbrunn.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Sparkling, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 4th, 2013
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Klarbrunn Vita Ice Black Raspberry

Klarbrunn Vita Ice Black Raspberry

If you drink this fast enough, you can actually drink "through" the diet. It's true. Using our inherent ability to chug, you can actually ingest this drink so fast and with so much speed and disregard to your esophagus that you can out-run the diet.

Why would you do that? Well because if you sip it, it's pretty gross. It's just a super carbonated raspberry drink. It is strange that you can bypass the worst part of the drink. Like skipping the worst track on a record, or not eating dinner and going straight to dessert.

The taste, diet aside, isn't bad. It's like a less "dark," less syrupy black raspberry pop that has zero calories and isn't vile. Is that a win? It's got to be better than some of the black raspberry pop's I've had. Some of those blow. Trust me.

Website
http://www.klarbrunn.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Sparkling, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on November 26th, 2013
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Klarbrunn Vita Ice Lemon Lime

Klarbrunn Vita Ice Lemon Lime

Does "naturally flavored" mean anything at all when you are not naturally sweetening something? I mean, "all natural" has weight but natural flavors kind of only covers some of your bases. I mean, it's a good try but it's really a pathetic effort and calling out the fact that you haven't completed your whole job. With a fake sweetener, you're kind of taking a theoretical dump on your efforts at keeping the flavors tasting natural. You wouldn't do that now, would you? Take a dump on your science project? No. You wouldn't do that. You're better than that.

Now that I've got that out of the way, we can talk about this for what it really is. What is it? It's a sparkling lemon lime drink. It's not a juice and it certainly is sparkling. It's highly carbonated and I am going to have to subtly burp all the way through the day. Lemon lime? Yes. It really just tastes like a less sweet Sierra Mist. Is the sweetener offensive? No. Does it taste diet? A little but not too bad.

What is the difference between this, Sparkling Ice or Cascade Ice? Not much. This might be less diet. That's a pretty win when it comes to the fact that most people drink things for the taste. If you drink those, you know what you're in for.

Website
http://www.klarbrunn.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Sparkling, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on November 18th, 2013
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Klarbrunn Vita Ice Orange Mango

Klarbrunn Vita Ice Orange Mango

Much like Dan Aykroyd’s Crystal Skull vodka Klarbrunn filters all of its sparkling waters through diamonds. It is essential to reach the full potential of the beverage and enhance the life fueling vitamins it contains. Get it, life diamonds…Vita Ice? Okay that was dumb, really dumb. Dumb enough to make me think about deleting what I’ve written and start anew, but not dumb enough for me to actually do that, just think about it. You see I have now spent more time writing about how I kind of sort of want to rewrite this than it would actually take for me to rewrite it. So I will plunge forward with this review and tell you that this drink taste really cold. No seriously, it’s like those Polar Pop fountain drinks that are always way colder than any other brand. I don’t know why. This has been sitting on my desk for a good ten minutes and it still tastes like it’s ice-cold even though it’s only slightly colder than room temperature. There is some science going on here that I don’t understand. In addition to that coldness this also tastes fairly diet, because well...it is diet and full of sucralose, which is not my favorite. Any drink carbonated, vitamin enhanced drink that is sweetened with this particular sweetener always tastes like it was made with some sort of powder mix. This is no exception. This one specifically tastes like I dumped a orange mango Emergen C packet into some carbonated water and then added some garbage diet sweetener to it, because in this scenario I am a glutton for punishment. Why do I do this to myself in these made up scenarios. Everything about this tastes very crisp and cold. I can only assume that’s what they are going for with a name like Vita Ice. Man I should have led with that instead of the worst (still amazing) Ghostbuster (yes Winston and Louis are better than Ray).

Website
http://www.klarbrunn.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Sparkling, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on November 14th, 2013
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