Koala - 2 Reviews

"Well this is something," says someone who drank this. I, professional drinker and skeptic of most things, agreed. This is a tangy, sweet drink. Tangy. Jesus Christmas. Limes and grapefruit? You needed to put the two tartest fruits imaginable together in one drink? Are you trying to turn me into a reverse Dizzy Gillespie? Suck in my cheeks to look like a malnourished, third world child? Who can drink this for pleasure? You want to know what Kiwi is doing while those other two are stealing the show? Well I'll tell you that he is not carrying his weight. That or between the lime and the grapefruit he simply compete.


This isn't bad. If you like Squirt and Limca, put them together into a container that is too large for one or even two servings and call it a day.

The Canadian government has recently shipped hundreds of koalas into their country. Originally they wanted to give the country a make over. People were getting tired of being associated with moose and beavers. They wanted a cuter image. Unfortunately the koalas tried to wage war on the beavers, and even though they were tired of the image, beavers are still are a sacred creature up north, so they couldn't allow the war to happen. As a result they moved the koalas to warehouse buildings where tropical fruit was grown under unnatural conditions. The koalas were trained to pick the fruit and to prepare it for juicing. This didn't work as well as the officials had hoped since the animals spend a majority of their day sleeping. There was not nearly enough fruit prepared to make a straight up juice, so a brainstorming session took place and it was decided to use the fruit they had to make flavored sparkling water.

Now I certainly would have preferred juice to flavored sparkling water, but I can't blame koalas for doing what comes natural. I can blame them for adding too much sugar and this tasting more like cheap soda than a sparkling water. It does have a guava/raspberry taste, but the added sugar takes away from it and leaves you knowing that if you spilled it all over the place you would have one hell of a sticky mess on your hands. Since this couldn't be juice I wish it had been subtler. As it stands I can't get through more than a couple of sips a sitting.