Martinelli's (9 reviews)

Martinelli's Gold Medal Sparkling Cider

Martinelli's Gold Medal Sparkling Cider

All the protein. I need all of it. I need to bulk up. Who has time for the gym. I'm going to slam all of the chocolate milks just to see what it would look like if I was chiseled out of marble. Wait...that's not how that works? I just cancelled my gym membership and in exchange spent my membership fee on chocolate milk. I've already drank eleven of them today.

Am I going to be alright? What poisoning? Protein poisoning? Really? Oh man. What do I do? Can I do a cranberry cleanse or something? Do I need to make myself throw up? Eleven milks. I can't believe I did that. How? Well it actually wasn't that hard. It tastes like a melted Wendy's Frosty. Who couldn't drink 154 ounces of Frosty. 154 ounces of chocolate milk? Oh man.

This day will go down in infamy as the one of the dumbest days of my life. I've got to reverse this by going on a cleanse. At least it wasn't a really rich, thick chocolate milk and was closer to the stuff you would make at home. I might have really put on some pounds. I guess we'll see what happens tomorrow. Probably a big poop. Hopefully a big poop.

Website
http://www.martinellis.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice, Sparkling
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on August 26th, 2015
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S. Martinelli & Co. Sparkling Apple Cider, 8.40-Ounce (Pack of 12)

Martinelli's Sparkling Apple-Mango

Martinelli's Sparkling Apple-Mango

If pop culture has taught me anything it’s that nothing will change today. Okay, maybe that’s slightly obscure, but I’m referencing one of the greatest songs ever written: New Years Day by U2. Say what you will about their later output and what Bono has become, but those first couple of records from the 80s are totally solid. As you also may have guessed today is January first and I’m at home awaiting nothing.

Last night was a different story altogether though. I threw a party at a local bar where I made people listen/dance to the songs I wanted to hear. At midnight while nearly everyone else guzzled their champagne and other libations I was taking pulls of this delicious sparkling juice. I think it’s safe to say I won out in that scenario because this is just wonderful. This is just apple juice and mango juice (from concentrate) with some bubbles added. It’s fruit, so it’s sweet without added sweeteners. It’s also apples and mangos so it tastes great. The mango flavor was a lot stronger than I expected and that was a pleasant surprise. Should I have drunk this entire 25.4oz bottle by myself? Probably not, but while I was working on diabetes, I watched a lot of those people get drunk and do things/go home with people they never would have if they were sober. Maybe that’s just part of the human experience though, and I’m just missing out. Ehh, who am kidding, I’ll stick with the sweet juice.

Website
http://www.martinellis.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice, Sparkling
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 1st, 2015
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Martinelli's Sparkling Apple Mango 25.4 Oz (6 Pack)

Martinelli's Mango Lemonade

Martinelli's Mango Lemonade

I put a limit on myself at the beginning of the year. I was not allowed to buy any new drinks until I got through everything that I had at home. For those of you who have had the pleasure of visiting my palatial two bedroom apartment you probably noticed that I have (had) cupboards and shelves chock full of drinks (not to mention the fridge). I had drinks that I had acquired over a year ago, just sitting there waiting to be reviewed. Most of it was drinks that I didn’t have a single iota of excitement about, but for the sake of science I had to push through them all. It took me about two months, but here I am with only two drinks left (I cheated a few times and bought some new juices, sue me…seriously you can try, but I have no money, nor drinks to give up).

For the second last drink of my back stock I have a lemonade that I was actually excited about, but I had wanted to wait until the weather was fittingly nice to drink it. Who wants to drink lemonade in the winter, unless you have the heat cranked, some freshly cut grass candles lit and Summer Breeze blasting on the hi-fi to fool yourself into a different season? I pressed on though and drank this little guy down faster than you would believe. It’s great. Some would say that it is close to perfection. It has the good side of lemon flavor, just enough sugar to not pinch your cheeks all the way, and an authentic mango flavor that just cannot be messed with. The mango flavor is ever so slightly lower than that of the lemon, and that is how flavored lemonade should be. It makes me wish it was summer more than ever.

Now I just have one more drink to get through and I can go scour the Earth looking for more drinks again. It feels good to be so close to leveling out.

Website
http://www.martinellis.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Lemonade
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 19th, 2013
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Martinelli's Sparkling Apple-Cranberry

Martinelli's Sparkling Apple-Cranberry

Another New Years Eve has come and gone, which means that so has another bottle of sparkling juice. As you may or may not know non-drinkers like myself celebrate the obligatory times in much the same way that children do. I think I get the same enjoyment out of it as well. This year I decided to get a little fancier than my typical sparkling grape juice so I went with cranberry juice…cran-apple. I hear that it is just about impossible to get out of sheets from Santa Fe, so I took care not to spill in on any of the fancy gowns that surrounded me, and by that I mean t-shirts and jeans. I don’t hang with an upscale crowd much.

First thing to note about this is that it is not a twist cap. I had to pry off the cap on the side of the stage of the club I was DJing at like a savage, because unlike a Boy Scout I am rarely prepared. The effort to open it was worth it though, as this is one delectable celebratory beverage. It’s just apple and cranberry juice mixed together with some bubbles added. The apple juice sweetened it enough to take away the bitterness of the cranberries, but their flavor was still present. It’s basically a higher quality carbonated version of Ocean Spray. I will definitely have to pick up more of this for my next soirée. Oh yeah, remember: Nothing changes on New Years Day…remember when U2 was a great band? I certainly do.

Website
http://www.martinellis.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice, Sparkling
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 1st, 2013
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Martinellis Sparkling Apple Cranberry ( 12X25.4 Ounces)

Martinelli's Sparkling Red Grape

Martinelli's Sparkling Red Grape

For straight edge kids such as us, sparkling grape juice is like champagne. No it's not as expensive, but it's what we buy when we want a fancy drink. I'm used to the big bottles of this, and had never seen it in a single serving bottle before. To the untrained eye, I almost thought this was a wine cooler on the shelf.

I've had some sparkling juices that are more sparkle than juice, but this is not the case with this bottle. The grape juice is really good and has the perfect amount of carbonation. It has a bit of a thick aftertaste, but most likely due to the grape concentrate the drink is made with. I probably should have saved this for New Years, but I prefer the big bottles because they are good for sharing. This serving size is like a personal drink for a fancy dinner.

Website
http://www.martinellis.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice, Sparkling
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on December 11th, 2012
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Sparkling Red Grape Juice 8.4 oz bottle by Martinelli's

Martinelli's Blood Orange

Martinelli's Blood Orange

So…I knew I had a Martinelli’s lemonade in my fridge. Earlier I grabbed a drink quick whilst I was working, and since it was a nice day out and my shop was sweltering hot I decided that lemonade would hit the spot. When I grabbed it I saw that it was blood orange flavored, but in my head that meant that it was blood orange flavored lemonade, not just blood orange juice. I drank most of it and saved a couple of sips for when I wrote the review, aka now. The entire time I was drinking this earlier the idea of it not being flavored lemonade never crossed my mind. It wasn’t until I was just checking the sweetener on the ingredient list that I saw that there was no lemon in it at all. I then checked the rest of the packaging and realized that it was just juice, not lemonade.

Now sure orange juice can be bitter, but when it has 31g of sugar in it, it generally isn’t. This on the other hand has the sugar and the juice and it is sour like lemonade. Knowing that is not what it is supposed to be is a bit of a let down. It would be a decent orange lemonade, but as a blood orange juice it leaves something to be desired. Generally blood orange has a very strong flavor, and this is a bit weak and watered down. I guess it is only 11% juice. I’m just going to go back to pretending it’s a time when I thought that it was flavored lemonade and I was really enjoying it.

Website
http://www.martinellis.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on October 4th, 2012
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Martinelli's 50/50 Lemonade & Black Tea

Martinelli's 50/50 Lemonade & Black Tea

Greg was a troubled teen. He spent a lot of his youth stealing candy and snacks from stores. He never got in any real trouble, as he was a good kid otherwise. He was just a little bit sneaky. Greg would steal a pack of gum or bag of chips or can of pop but nothing worth more than a couple dollars.

One day, he was thirsty and went across the street to get something to drink. He saw a bottle of Martinelli's half and half and thought that it was in a cool bottle and he needed it. He grabbed two off the shelf, put them in his oversized pockets, and walked out of the store. He sat down around the corner and drank a bottle of it. He liked it a lot. It was different because it wasn't so sweet like other iced tea and lemonades. It was an even split, just like how it was advertised. It had a little pulp towards the end, but it wasn’t too tart.

He was just about to open the second one and old man Harris, the owner of the store came out and saw him drinking a stolen drink and chased after him. They got around the block and Greg grabbed the bottle like a baseball, which it is in the shape of, and threw it at old man Harris. Harris caught it, yelled at him to stop stealing from the store and walked back. That kind of scared Greg and he only stole a few more times and went straight after that.

Website
http://www.martinellis.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea, Lemonade
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 4th, 2012
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Martinelli's Sparkling Watermelon Lemonade

Martinelli's Sparkling Watermelon Lemonade

What we have here is a miracle of science. No it's not a cure all or some sort of tonic or elixir. What we have here is a watermelon flavored drink that doesn't taste like candy. Specifically it does not taste like watermelon Jolly Ranchers, which has been the standard for watermelon flavor for the past two decades, even though it tastes absolutely nothing like a fruit.

Somewhere in an underground laboratory a group of rouge scientists gathered to tackle this problem for once and for all. They did so in fear of losing their scientific titles, as the Grand Science Authority has strictly prohibited research in this field (Jolly Rancher donates obscene amounts of money to their organization in return for them not working on the "watermelon problem." These brave men and women worked against the grain and achieved something great. It turns out that all they needed to do was use watermelon juice concentrate.

Martinelli's used this new technology to create this sparkling lemonade. It tastes pretty much as is to be expected. A carbonated lemonade with a hint of watermelon to it. I'm personally not a huge fan of carbonated lemonades. Something about the bubbles and the bitterness doesn't quite sit well with me. If it's something you are into you should stand up and salute the brave scientists who risked it all to bring this new and exciting drink to your lips.

Website
http://www.martinellis.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Lemonade, Sparkling
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on October 28th, 2011
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Martinelli's Apple Juice

Martinelli's Apple Juice

Imagine if you will, a story involving any random college dude-bro who talks to himself.

Dude. I don't want to drink. After an all week binge of the lowest quality, domestic beer, I need something else. I need something with no added sugar and something that's not strange. I can't deal with anything half gelatinous or spicy. I also think that I need something the size and shape of a baseball. Got it, I'll have a step above a child's size apple juice.

This was a wonderful apple juice. Sure I feel childish drinking apple juice but I also don't shave and don't terribly care what people think. Giving it a 4. I would love to play flip cup with a keg of this apple juice. Can you keginate apple juice?

Website
http://www.martinellis.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 26th, 2010
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Martinelli, Juice Apple, 10-Fluid Ounce (24 Pack)
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