Starbucks (27 reviews)

Starbucks Frappuccino Unicorn

Starbucks Frappuccino Unicorn

I don't understand what just happened. Every sip was different and every sip was strange. It was sour in some sips and just an explosion of some sort of mystery fruit in others. There were also glitter sprinkle sparkles on top.

I don't know what the flavor was. Was it strawberry? I think I read mango somewhere but if I put one next to the other, it wouldn't have been whatever I tasted in this. I mean, is "cotton candy" a fruit? It tasted like cotton candy at some points. Who is this for? Within the ten minutes that I was there, they sold a rather copious amount of them so they're doing something right. It won't last long but if it was up to me, I would have drank a dozen of that illusive Polar Unicorn Kiss that I/we never got to try before I would drink another one of these. Was it bad? I cannot even answer that question. It truly was made of the barf of unicorns.

Website
http://www.starbucks.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Other/Weird, Smoothie
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 1 week, 3 days ago
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Starbucks Iced Coffee Chile Mocha

Starbucks Iced Coffee Chile Mocha

Whether or not there was coffee in this is another story, but this was fantastic, man. It had the earthiness from the chilies and the cinnamon. Really, I don't know if there was coffee in this and if there was, it was highly masked by the rest of the flavors. It wasn't spicy as much as it was the flavor of green chile. The chile and cinnamon were generously sprinkled on like a medium dusting from the spice fairy, a fictitious (presumably) creature that puts spices on food and drinks alike. The mocha was a good umbrella flavor. I don't go to Starbucks often but as soon as I saw this was out, I ditched whatever lunch plans I had and went there and was pleasantly pleased I didn't have to pull the old, "Do you have this? You don't? Welp, see you later." and walk out the door awkwardly. We've all done it. It's one thing to do it in a restaurant but have you ever done it in a drive through? Way worse. When the person wants you to pay for your meal and you have to say, "Oh, no. You didn't have what I wanted so now I have to sit in line with the rest of these buffoons." that's the worst. This was in stock and supposedly for a limited time, too so hurry on over and get one.

Website
http://www.starbucks.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 9th, 2016
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Starbucks Doubleshot Mexican Mocha

Starbucks Doubleshot Mexican Mocha

Oh the high hopes I had for this. Mexican mocha? Really? A nice, chocolate cinnamon coffee drink? Well if that's what you expect, you will most certainly be disappointed. It might be coffee, alright. Might. This only has a hint of almost every ingredient but cream. It tastes like creamy sugar with coffee and cinnamon essence. It's strangely thick.

I didn't like it. There I said it. It tastes like a diet drink and is not a diet drink. It hardly tastes like coffee, which I expect out of a coffee drink and the Mexican part of it is so faint that it almost isn't worth mentioned. Do it or don't do it, Starbucks. You can afford to do either. Small, test batches. Amp up the spice and send a can to me. I'd love to review something polarizing and accurate.

Website
http://www.starbucks.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee, Energy Drink
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 16th, 2016
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Starbucks Sparkling Passion Tango Tea Pineapple

Starbucks Sparkling Passion Tango Tea Pineapple

Starbucks. Woah. You really nailed it with this thing. It's sparkling makes a huge difference. The pineapple kicks it up another notch because it gives it a little sting. Then, as if that wasn't enough, I love the Passion tea. It's got that licorice that makes me feel kind of funny. Like when we used to climb the ropes in gym class.

This drink rules and if I get back into "the States" and they don't have it, I'm going to be very disappointed. Please be waiting for me when I get home. Wear something sassy or sultry. Not both. One or the other.

Website
http://www.starbucks.com
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Iced Tea, Sparkling
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 3rd, 2015
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Starbucks Teavana Mango Black Tea Lemonade

Starbucks Teavana Mango Black Tea Lemonade

I'll tell you what's good right now for the low price of reading what I have to write to you. This is good. What's good about it? Well, this tastes like all the ingredients and all the ingredients taste good. That’s a pretty dumb way to describe how something tastes, right? Well, I say it because we get stuff all the time where flavors are disguised or hidden or masked by something else. This you can taste the tea, lemonade and mango all at the same time and respectfully. It's just the right amount of sweetness and sourness and everything. This is a great tea. Just in time for summertime to come to its peak heatness. This will cool many of you down rather successfully.

Website
http://www.starbucks.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Iced Tea, Lemonade
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on August 5th, 2015
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Starbucks Doubleshot Coffee and Protein

Starbucks Doubleshot Coffee and Protein

There’s nothing better than a hot coffee and a nice, juicy steak, huh, Bob? This is how I begin and close out every day. A nice porterhouse and a rich, tall glass of coffee. No, Bob. I mean it. Every day. It's how I stay a healthy, vibrant three-hundred pounds. It's more for the ladies to love, if you know what I mean. You don't know what I mean? Well, Bob, when a man and a woman...oh...oh...you do get it. Alright.

What do you have there? Oh, a Starbucks drink. How cute. Wait, what's in it. Protein and coffee. Hmm. You might be on to something. Can I have that can? I'll gladly pay you for it. Thanks.

This isn't too bad. It's got a smooth coffee taste that's a little like the original Frappuccino. You can get a little of the sweet and bitterness from the erythritol but that's really nominal. You don't really get protein, which is nice because sometimes protein drinks can be really gritty.

You might be on to something, Bob. Bob, I spend a hundred dollars a day on fine coffee and sixteen ounce steaks. I can now spend $5. You just saved me almost $35,000 a year. You know what; you just earned yourself a sixty-five cent raise. Congratulations. Enjoy your raise.

Website
http://www.starbucks.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on July 22nd, 2015
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Starbucks Doubleshot Coffee and Protein, 11 Ounce Cans (Pack of 12)

Starbucks Frappuccino S'Mores

Starbucks Frappuccino S'Mores

I'm glad they invented smaller cups. Who would have thought? I mean, I feel like we were here and, like cell phones, they got bigger and bigger. I've got a fifty-two ounce cup on my desk right now. Ten ounces of this Frappuccino is all I need. Also, "need" is not at all the word that should have been used. I do not "need" this at all in my life. This isn't curing cancer. This is not giving people jobs. Sure, people work at Starbucks but this s'more Frappuccino is not keeping them afloat. Sure I paid over four dollars which I find appalling but nonetheless, I bought it and we're here.

How was it? Just as good as you would have hoped. It was sweet but not too much. There was a lot of cream on top which fluffed it up a bit. Chocolate crammed to the bottom and mystery in the middle. I honestly have no idea what makes up a Frappuccino because this one didn't taste like coffee one iota. It tasted like liquified Honey Grahams dipped in Hershey syrup. If that doesn't sound good to you, you are either on a diet or you hate fun. If you hate fun, I don't know what you're doing reading these reviews because they're nothing but fun. That was sarcasm. Time spent reading this review would be better spent watching paint dry. Go paint a fence, Huck Finn. If you want to watch paint dry, cut the bottom quarter of your pants off, use "the N" word, and sail downstream on a boat made of tree trunks. Did he use "the N" word? I don't know if I've ever read Huck Finn. I'm really dumb.

Website
http://www.starbucks.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on July 17th, 2015
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Starbucks Frappuccino S'Mores

Starbucks Frappuccino S'Mores

"Here. Come try this," my boss says to me. Since I am rarely on the other side of that statement, I had no choice but to accept the request. I thought it was going to be a bad invitation but it was actually a "Here. Come try this. It's good." not "Here. Come try this. It's gross." which is the route I enjoy taking.

Did it taste like smores? Yes, sir or ma'am. Well, I should say that it tasted like the ingredients of smores. Think of a deconstructed smore. You initially get the coffee from the Frappuccino itself followed by a split second of chocolate, then a lot of marshmallow and then some graham cracker. They're all there but at different times. It's fine by me. It was a nice jolt of flavor to wake up my day and feed my recent childish addiction to smores. Never lose your inner child. Smores are a gift and a treat and a treasure.

Website
http://www.starbucks.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 13th, 2015
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Starbucks Doubleshot Hazelnut

Starbucks Doubleshot Hazelnut

Oh hazelnut. Who would have thought to combine you with chocolate and make such a wonderful combination? Can I think of hazelnut and not thing of Nutella? Nope. Who cares? I love the stuff. Why wouldn't it want the association? Oh, because it's its own man and can just be himself and not be associated with the likes of another? Who cares, you stupid nut. I'll eat you alone and I'll eat you all creamed up into a remarkable achievement that is a spreadable chocolate.

Hazelnut in a coffee energy drink? Look. Hazelnut does what hazelnut wants to do and what she wants to do is fraternize with coffee right now. As an energy drink, this is fine. Good for me actually because I drank half a can and didn't lose my mind with the shakes. All is not golden, though, friends. This is oddly creamy and slightly "diet" tasting. Can you deal with it? It didn't taste terrible. It just tasted like a diet coffee drink that someone mushed up some Nutella in. Is that such a bad thing? No. It's not. So it's got a little bit of a diet taste? Who cares? Leave it alone. It's just trying to be accepted as something more that "an ingredient used to make the best bread spread alive." What have you done lately? Nothing. Oh, right. That. We don't need to talk about that. I thought we were done with that.

Website
http://www.starbucks.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee, Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on August 25th, 2014
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Starbucks Refreshers Blueberry Acai

Starbucks Refreshers Blueberry Acai

This is the last day that I'm working in this office. I'm excited. Bigger and better things. Same job, same position, different office. On my last day here, I got a decent sandwich from a gas station I frequent and this little drink. The sandwich took forever, I was reminded why the lady behind the counter blows, and kissed that place goodbye for a while.

This drink, unlike that turd behind the counter, wasn't half bad. It tasted like blueberry and lacked the crud that acai often brings with it. It had a little bit of the bitterness from the Erythritol and coffee fruit but not enough for it to be penalized.

Goodbye gas station. Hello energy.

Website
http://www.starbucks.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 30th, 2014
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Starbucks Refreshers, Blueberry Acai (4 Count, 8.4 Fl Oz Each)
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