Trader Joe's (21 reviews)

Trader Joe's Brewed Ginger Beer

Trader Joe's Brewed Ginger Beer

Ahh ginger beer. Always a welcome guest in my house. Gosling's, Goya and now Trader Joe's. Sure, there are other ones. What? Do you want me to make a list? Well it's not going to happen. Alright, fine. Here. Happy?

This is good. It's sweet. I could put this in the category of "entry level" since it's not going to burn the skin off your mouth. Tame. Could you give it to kids? Sure if the kids you are giving it to aren't wimps and if their parents aren't around. If I saw you giving my kids pop, I might say something. If I saw you giving my kids ginger beer, I might say something after I saw the look on their dumb, wimp faces as their tiny, young mouths are on fire.

This is sweeter than I like my ginger beer but makes up for in earthy, ginger flavor. It's like losing a game only to come up a couple points short in the fourth quarter. Everything was against you and you are still going home a loser just not as much of a loser.

Website
http://www.traderjoes.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Ginger, Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 3 weeks, 2 days ago
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Trader Joe's Black Tea Vanilla & Cinnamon

Trader Joe's Black Tea Vanilla & Cinnamon

What is that, a raccoon? Hyper, those raccoons. Them washing all that cotton candy in the stream. Calm down, raccoon. Man. Stop eating all that sugar and drink some of this tea. It's good, subtle and calming. Like chamomile but less on-the-nose. This dude who works here has been sweet enough to let me drink some of his tea and drink it I did. Sure, he's not breaking the bank buying a box of tea from Trader Joe's but who's bringing money into this? No one. He's generous. Let him be.

That raccoon had the right idea with this. Sure he's tangled up in Christmas lights probably doing something he shouldn't be doing but he's at least chilling with a nice, hot cup of tea. The cinnamon is subtle and the vanilla rounds it out. Think of this like the biggest dandelion. You could lift it without even thinking about it. This is like that, as strong as it is, it's still calm and smooth.

Also, for those of you not "in the know," this is the video I am referring to:


Sad, right?

Website
http://www.traderjoes.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Hot Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on November 29th, 2016
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Trader Joe's Cold Pressed Juice Green

Trader Joe's Cold Pressed Juice Green

Darren, what are you doing? I don't think that's how it works, man. You can't just not eat vegetables for a month and drink a green juice to try and facilitate your body's lack of proper vitamins and minerals. Can I have a sip? Bleh! I would rather eat vegetables every day like a normal person than drink a bottle of this. It just tastes like someone juiced up vegetables and is making you drink that. Do you remember when Sally had her jaw wired shut because of some jaw alignment issues and she didn't have anything to eat or drink for like two weeks? This would be perfect for her but you are an able bodied man and have the ability to actually eat food. Yeah, I know they claim there is an apple and lemon in there but they also claim to have seventeen kale leaves, one whole pound of spinach, and a handful of other stuff in there so one apple isn't quite cutting it.

Is something wrong with eating peas? You're in your late twenties and although you don't like to be reminded, you have to eat your vegetables, dude. There really isn't any way around that. This is not a solution to anyone's problem. Anyone who would drink this would already be eating vegetables and doesn't need to be binging on them anymore. Strange demographic Trader Joe's. Terrible choice Darren. Terrible choice.

Website
http://www.traderjoes.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on June 12th, 2014
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Trader Joe's Cooler Watermelon Cucumber

Trader Joe's Cooler Watermelon Cucumber

Ahh summertime. Hot dogs raining from clouds made of hamburgers. The air filled with the scent of noodle salad and freshly cut grass. That's what summer is all about. I found something we can add to the mix and it is this drink. Watermelon cucumber? Are you kidding me? Summer, dude. Well, I don't know if people are making...wait...I'm on to something...pizza...where the pizza is a slice of watermelon and the pepperoni is cucumber...Mike, you're a genius. I'd like to patent pend this, please, if you don't mind. I'll be right back, hold on.

I just got back from the patent office and you can't patent the idea of putting vegetables on fruit for some reason unless you sell it as a product which I don't have the energy for but if you'd like to take it and run with it, I ask for ten percent of all sales.

Why should this be another staple in summertime drinking? Watermelon is a limited time, summer fruit. Ever eat watermelon in winter because it blows. Cucumber is fine year 'round but teamed up with his (or her) friend watermelon. BAM! Summertime Emeril style. Great watermelon taste with a light cucumber aftertaste all while not having to deal with any syrupy garbage. What more could you ask for? Oh, the hot dogs from the burger clouds are spoiling in the street? Yeah, but it cut down on your dog food spending, didn't it? Not so bad after all.

Website
http://www.traderjoes.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 28th, 2014
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Trader Joe's Cold Pressed Juice Yellow

Trader Joe's Cold Pressed Juice Yellow

You know something is all the rage when grocery stores start selling their own version of it. Cold pressed juice has been on a steady climb in the world of popularity and now we have Trader Joes with three juices of their very own. I admit they are not your average grocery store, but this is still a big step. They have released onto the world a veritable Ethiopian flag of juice with their red, green, and yellow flavors.

This juice smells strongly of apples and yellow bell peppers. It’s a weird combination of scents, but it lets you know exactly what you’re in for. I took a sip and thought, “Wow this is amazing!” As I kept drinking I realized that while this is a good juice, I had gotten caught up in the cold pressed craze. I certainly enjoy this, but it’s not over the top good. It’s nothing that is going to make me salivate just thinking about. That exact response should be a requirement for beverages that get 5-Bottles on Thirsty Dudes. I mean if it were served to me I could pound bottle after bottle of this, but at the same time I could walk away after a couple of sips and not think about it again once the aftertaste faded away.

The contents of this juice are: 2 large apples, ¼ pineapple, 1 medium yellow pepper, 1/5 of a cucumber, 2 limes, and 3 mint leaves. For having so many ingredients that normally have such potent flavor, a bunch of them are very faint in the mix. The mint is only there as a coolness, and not as a flavor. I can’t believe that two whole limes were squeezed to make this, because their flavor is so much in the background. In regards to flavor this is basically a hyped up apple juice. I want so badly for the pineapple to be stronger, but it doesn’t quite get there. That yellow pepper is certainly there though. It’s strange at first, but once you get used to it being mixed with the sweetness of the apples, it’s quite nice.

I really have nothing bad to say about this at all, I just wanted more from it. It has all the health benefits you could ever want from a juice, along with a nice flavor. I’m just so hard to please these days.

Website
http://www.traderjoes.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on May 27th, 2014
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Trader Joe's Heart of Darkness - Mango Passionfruit

Trader Joe's Heart of Darkness - Mango Passionfruit

Do you think Joe was originally known as Trapper Joe? For some reason, I always imagine him being from Canada, even though I know his origins are German (at least in some capacity). I just picture him out there in the wild wilderness of Canada, setting traps and collecting his bountiful pelts. He lived like a king, and then slowly, but then very suddenly the pelts dried up. Joe found himself without work, and started to lean on his other skills more, and got more into the commerce side of the game. It wasn’t long until he started working with an entirely new set of people, who referred to him as Trader Joe instead of Trapper Joe. Eventually he made his way down to the States and well, the rest is history.

That whole scenario has nothing to do with this drink, but oh wait it does. For some reason they decided to name this juice “Heart of Darkness.” At first glance this seems to make no sense what-so-ever as neither mangos nor passion fruit are native to the Congo where Joseph Conrad set his short story. Since the actual juice has nothing to do with an ivory transporter in central Africa, I can only assume that the name is in some reference to Joe’s history as a trapper come trader. Maybe the owners of the company are just fans of late 19th century literature. Either way it’s a strange name for a juice.

No matter what the name, this is one tasty juice. While it’s not solely mango and passion fruit juice, it is still 100% juice with apple, white grape and pineapple filling out the missing space. It does taste more like a tropical fruit punch then it’s namesake, and even though that is a bit of a disappointment at first the taste is more than good enough to make you forget your woes.

Website
http://www.traderjoes.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 9th, 2014
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Trader Joe's Green and White Tea with Mint

Trader Joe's Green and White Tea with Mint

Everyone is sick, right? This has been a brutal winter. It's the worst one in a long time. Not so much for the snow but man have you ever lived through so many consecutive sub-zero days in all your life? Frozen pipes and hundred dollar heat bills will be the death of me.

One thing that I think, psychosomatically, makes me feel better is tea. Hot tea and cold tea. It doesn't matter. Unsweetneed. When I went to the store and saw this, after the way that I felt the last couple days, you'd better believe that I got this. The whole gallon. I bought it, pretty effortlessly. "Green and white tea with a hint of mint. That will clear me up." I thought to myself.

Now I'm three glasses into this gallon and it's a very fine tea. It's unsweetened so there is nothing getting in the mix. You can taste the green, you can taste the white, and, if you think about it, you can taste the mint. "Hint of mint" is about all you get. Am I letting that get the best of me? No. I'm picking my battles and if it's being mad at a tea for not having enough hints, I'm wasting my time. I've wasted a lot of time in my life but being sore at mint has never clocked any time on the board and trust me that board has a lot of gripes on it.

Website
http://www.traderjoes.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 25th, 2014
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Trader Joe's Green Tea Blueberry Pomegranate

Trader Joe's Green Tea Blueberry Pomegranate

Today has proven to be quite a blustery winter day even for me. What do I mean by that? Well here in Buffalo, you gain kind of a winter skin every year. You begin to not really care about the cold too much and by late January through March, you'll have days that are in the high thirties where you just don't wear a coat at all. You become accustomed to it. It's completely different that those people that wear shorts in the wintertime. Those people are just idiots.

Part of the whole "Being From Buffalo" thing is that I just drank iced tea and ate ice cream after walking my dog outside in six degree weather with twenty five mile per hour winds. That's not right to those of you from the South but up here, we handle the cold like you handle your sweaty, sticky, hundred degree weather.

The iced tea I drank was this large bottle from Trader Joe's where Jay and myself went last week. We bought the dumbest stuff available; mochi, iced tea, dried mango, and juice: Hardly grocery shopping. This tea took the backs seat while I destroyed the original green that I love so much. This is a different animal in and of itself. If I were to taste this not knowing that blueberry and/or pomegranate touched it, I don't think that I would have been able to guess what it was specifically. The more I drink it, though, the more I will just accept that they're in there messing around like a bunch of college teens who's parent's went to the grocery store and left them alone. It's half way between floral and fruity but that's only fifty (or twenty five percent each) of the drink. The other fifty is that nice base of a bitter green tea that loves me more than I've loved many girlfriends.

Would I take this over the regular green tea? I don't think so. This is "special occasion" stuff. Not because it's any more expensive, but just because I'd have to be in the right mood for it. The green tea I'm always here for like a truly supportive companion that takes all his melodramatic girlfriends to the hospital as soon as they complain about a headache or stomachache. He'll learn. I did.

Website
http://www.traderjoes.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 6th, 2014
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Trader Joe's Very Green

Trader Joe's Very Green

It’s not all green, but you might say that it’s mostly green. Let’s tally up the ingredients and see where we stand.
Apple – Could very well be green.
Banana – Could be green, but probably wouldn’t taste very good. The fact that there is a very distinct banana flavor in here makes me think it was ripe and yellow.
Mango – Orange, brown and yellow.
Pineapple – Not even a chance of it being green.
Kiwi – This is a glorious green, and I wish most of this drink were made of it.
Spirulina – I had to look it up, but it certainly is green.
Chlorella – It’s green. I think it has something to do with chloroform, err I mean chlorophyll. I don’t think this drink it going to make anyone pass out.
Other greens used: Broccoli, spinach, barley grass, blue green algae and parsley.
Ingredients included in the “Dried Greens Blend” that are not green at all: Garlic and ginger.

So as it stands we have nice green ingredients and five none green. I will give them their very green moniker. It looks like green sludge, so why not? It tastes pretty good. The base of this is similar to the Bolthouse and Naked “green” drinks. It’s pretty sweet tasting and mostly taste like fruit and not the other additives. The only difference I can really tell is that it has a stronger presence of banana. It’s a nice alternative, at about the same prince point.

Website
http://www.traderjoes.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 31st, 2013
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Trader Joe's Triple Ginger Brew

Trader Joe's Triple Ginger Brew

Many a sailor has been known to warm his belly on dark stormy nights with a large bottle of whiskey. What is there out there for those teetotalers of the high seas who have lost their families and their former lives, not to the harshness of the sea, but to that of the bottle? The answer is simple, get each and every non-drinking sailor on your holiday shopping list a bottle of this Trader Joe’s Triple Ginger Brew. It may not numb the pain in their lives, but it will give their throat and guts a similar warmness as their former love once had.

An employee has told me that all Trader Joes private label products are really other company’s products that they have worked out a deal that they can slap their own name and label on. I really wish I knew the original producer of this soda, because I would sincerely thank them for creating such a treat.

The label announces to the world that this is “Ginger ale with a kick!” Don’t be fooled, this is most definitely a ginger beer, and if you go into this expecting a nice pale dry ginger ale you’re certainly going to get that aforementioned kick to the throat with the burn on this thing. It’s simply wonderful. The thing is not only does this have a nice little kick to it that is better than most ginger beers, it also has an incredible flavor. Most companies just use ginger and maybe a little lemon in their ginger brews and while that is fine and good, it’s a pretty straight forward flavor, albeit with a lot of kick. The mix in the bottle not only contains the usual suspects, but it also have honey, lime juice, spices and most importantly pineapple juice. Even though it’s barely noticeable that little bit of pineapple makes all the difference and puts this ginger beer at the top of the game flavorwise. This is sweet, bubbly, throat burning and slightly fruity. I couldn’t think of anything more to ask for in a soda. Oh wait, they did think of something else. They put it in a classic looking green glass bottle with a swivel top. Now that’s class.

Website
http://www.traderjoes.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Ginger, Soda Pop
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 13th, 2013
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