Canada (146 reviews)

Good 4U Endurance Tropical Citrus

Good 4U Endurance Tropical Citrus

The tropics must have been going through a storm when this drink was made. You know the type that I'm referring to, the kind that blows garbage all over your lawn. You always say you're going to cut down those hedges because all they do is collect garbage and take up your limited front yard but every time you go in the shed to get a saw, you remember that you don't want neighbor dogs defecating on your yard. Well that garbage filled yard is like what this drink taste like: a diet tropical garbage citrus storm.

Right off the bat the Stevia is bastardizing whatever is in this bottle so I cannot get a good read of any flavors without being rudely interrupted by your highness. There might be a mango or a pineapple in here but I wouldn't know because, much like Adam Levine's number one biggest and fattest fan pushing her way up to the front of the crowd, Stevia is shoving it's way all over your poor taste buds.

Sometimes you wonder why drinks are on sale and then you drink things like this and realize why. Questions and answers wrapped into one cheap, 473ml bottle of diet sweetener.

Website
http://www.gd4u.com/
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Stevia
Categories
Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 6th, 2013
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Good4U Tropical Citrus Endurance Sports Nutrition Drink (12/16oz)

The Organimals Organic Soda Drink Kohala Cola

The Organimals Organic Soda Drink Kohala Cola

Everyone knows that koalas sit around in trees all day tripping their balls off from the eucalyptus leaves they eat. Guess what, everyone is wrong. While eucalyptus is a staple in the animals diet it does not have any mind-altering effects on them. They are just lazy animals, which don’t eat a proper diet to keep moving throughout the day. Perhaps if they had more of a high-energy diet they would be swinging from the trees like a bunch of monkeys.

In my mind this beverage was whipped up in a lab to get these little guys moving. I’m not sure if there is caffeine in here, like most colas, but I have to believe that lemon and elderberry juice along with agave syrup would have to give them a little more pep than a couple of quasi toxic leaves. Speaking of which, why is there fruit juice in this cola? I actually don’t know how this actually tastes like cola with the ingredients that are in it, but it does. It’s a slightly fruity cola that has a much different sweetness than most people are used to. I fully support the use of agave to sweeten sodas, but it does have a drawback. When it is used in “brown” pop they never taste as dark as you would want them to. It’s something I can overlook though as this gives a new twist to a classic beverage.

Website
http://www.organimals.com/EN/index.html
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Organic Agave Syrup
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 5th, 2013
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Fruitopia Strawberry Passion Awareness

Fruitopia Strawberry Passion Awareness

Remember when you were a kid and you would drop something, like ice cream on the street, and the next day you would walk down that very street and there would be a seemingly infinite amount of ants on it? I feel like if you spilled some of this on the ground, ants would come from all corners of the earth. Anyone who has a dog knows that you could be anywhere in the house and if you as much as touch a receptacle with food in it, the dog is right there, faithfully by your feet. Fruitopia is like that to ants.

Doing my most careful attempt at not spilling any in fear that ants would inhabit my body as a home for themselves, I drank this perhaps faster than I needed to. It was good, though, so it wasn't like I had to choke it down. It was, quite literally, a strawberry juice with passion fruit in it. Not an inventive review, I know, but there are no clever branding techniques or misinterpreted messages. Strawberries and passion fruit: Done and done. Check and check.

I finished the can at night and did an attempt to take a picture on a building ledge but was unsatisfied so I left it in my car to take a picture of today with the fear that I would open my door and a frightening mass of ants would just fall out like the world's most awful prank.

Website
http://www.minute-maid.de/
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Sugar and/or Glucose Fructose
Categories
Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 2nd, 2013
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Koala Sparkling Fruit Beverage Kiwi Lime & Grapefruit

Koala Sparkling Fruit Beverage Kiwi Lime & Grapefruit

"Well this is something," says someone who drank this. I, professional drinker and skeptic of most things, agreed. This is a tangy, sweet drink. Tangy. Jesus Christmas. Limes and grapefruit? You needed to put the two tartest fruits imaginable together in one drink? Are you trying to turn me into a reverse Dizzy Gillespie? Suck in my cheeks to look like a malnourished, third world child? Who can drink this for pleasure? You want to know what Kiwi is doing while those other two are stealing the show? Well I'll tell you that he is not carrying his weight. That or between the lime and the grapefruit he simply compete.


This isn't bad. If you like Squirt and Limca, put them together into a container that is too large for one or even two servings and call it a day.

Country
Canada
Sweetener
Liquid Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop, Sparkling
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on July 18th, 2013
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Thirsty Buddha With Mango

Thirsty Buddha With Mango

The Buddha meditates under trees for long periods of time. He always starts the morning in the shade, but as the sun rises the sun ends up blaring on him and it gets hot, very hot. Let’s face it he’s also a big guy, so he sweats a lot. The Buddha knows it’s important to keep hydrated, so he always keeps a cooler of coconut water with him, so he doesn’t dry out and shrivel up.

He prefers to drink straight up coconut water with nothing added to it, but sometimes when he’s not meditating into nothingness/everything he wants a little more and goes for some with a little mango juice in it. There’s not a whole ton of juice added to it, but it’s enough to give it a little flavor. The problem is the company he’s sponsored by also adds some sugar to it. The Buddha knows it’s unnecessary, but they don’t put too much in, so it’s not like it’s sugar water masquerading as coconut water. It’s simply mildly sweetened, lightly flavored coconut water that is a little chalky, but that’s what you get with all decent coconut waters. It refreshes him like only coconut water and enlightenment can.

Website
http://drinkthirstybuddha.com/
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coconut
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on June 14th, 2013
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Thirsty Buddha 100% All Natural Coconut Water

Thirsty Buddha 100% All Natural Coconut Water

The stories and teachings have it all wrong. The tree that Gautama sat under that led him to become the Buddha was not a Bodhi tree as it was taught. In fact, the fat man was sitting under a coconut tree when he reached enlightenment. It's a good thing too, since reaching enlightenment can be truly dehydrating. Lucky for him the most hydrating beverage in the world hung directly over his head. So there you go: from enlightened to shaking a tree and dodging the fruits that descended towards his head within a couple of moments.

Several thousand years have passed since the glorious event and a company called Thirsty Buddha has arisen for a grand celebration in liquid form. All that is contained in this can is 100% all natural coconut water. There are no added sweeteners or preservatives, simply because they are not needed. This is delicious and refreshing; everything the Buddha needed on the day of his enlightenment. There are a lot of companies out there nowadays selling their versions of this "holy" drink, but most of them add extraneous ingredients that take away from the purity of what they create. They made mistakes, Thirsty Buddha did not.

To further offend the followers of Buddhism I shall leave you with the following perversion of faith an pop culture. Imagine the chorus of Destiny's Child's hit single Bootylicious with the lyrics changed to, "I don't think you're ready for this belly, cause his body's too Buddhalicious for ya babe."

Website
http://drinkthirstybuddha.com/
Country
Canada
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Coconut
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on April 30th, 2013
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Red Rain Energy Drink Cran-Orange

Red Rain Energy Drink Cran-Orange

If the marketing team at Red Rain has a single brain cell in their collective heads I would hope that they have contacted Peter Gabriel to use his song that is the same name as their company. Just imagine that chorus playing as slow motion shots of sports teams winning the big game and spraying each other with cans of energy drink. It would be like they were announcing that the sun has set on Gatorade in the energy drink age. It would be triumphant, and it’s a great song on top of that.

I don’t know if that’s the market they are looking to sell their beverages to, but it’s not the scenario that is important, it’s the song. It really is a great song, and I’m gonna say this is a fairly great energy drink at that. Cranberry should be used more in energy drinks. It covers up the typical candy flavor nicely. This has a predominately cranberry flavor with a nice citrus touch around the edges. It’s certainly not a typical flavor for an energy drink, which is nice.

Think about it; Peter Gabriel and an unusual tasting energy drink. Then think about all of the toonies pouring in, much like that self same red rain.

Website
http://redrainenergy.ca/
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Sugar/Glucose-Fructose
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 3rd, 2013
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True Blue Wild Blueberry

True Blue Wild Blueberry

This is going to be half review, half reminiscence, and half celebrators since this is our 3000th review. Since all of them have to happen at the same time, let's just start with the Thirsty Dudes ode to new drinks. Jay and I went to Toronto and stopped periodically at multiple shops. Our love for Thirsty Dudes is international. We travel beyond both state and country lines just in order to get drinks. This is a juice. I had to present my passport to get juice. Come on. Would you do that? You might? We do. When we are on vacation, we do it big. I went to Brooklyn this past weekend on an impromptu "vacation" and number one thing on my list was to get local root beer. Come on. What a waste of time but we love it. We're in Canada and there is a Whole Foods. We bought a ton of stuff, like forty drinks each, and yes, like this one, some of them were "house brand" but things need to get done. Drinks need to get drank. Sure, it took me well over two months to drink it but hey, we've got a cache of drinks. This, finally, was pretty good. It's about time that I get a nice, high quality juice. It's got a good blueberry taste but is dense. It's flavorful and bold. It's not cut with anything. I could have stretched this out probably 25% just by watering it down and it still would have been good.

In hindsight, this is not my favorite juice. It never was, but I'm summing it all up. Wrapping it up in a little package. It's good, I mean look, I gave it a four out of five. That's good, but this is the 3000th review. This should have been reserved for something epic like a cherry flavored slime with sparkles in it. I would have loved to reserve that for ol' Bernie Mac but we can't wait too long or we're not going to have reviews.

You know us. We don't only review good stuff. We review good stuff poorly and bad stuff well. We make up stories, tall tales, fish tales, and reflect on our past. We bring our family, friends, past relationships, and dreams into our reviews. You get to see inside our deranged minds with a lot of reviews and it gives you an insight into our lives and the people we are. We're three dudes that are friends that are creative idiots that like to drink stuff because it gives us something to talk about.

We talked about what we were going to do and the only thing we could think about was having a pizza party at a place that has been closed for probably twenty years that we each went to when we were eight and playing the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles arcade game and then talking about the advantages of each specific turtle. We're immature kids. We're dumb idiots. We love what we do. Thanks for letting us get to 3000. Tell your friends.

Website
http://www.leadingbrandsinc.com/
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 14th, 2013
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Pop Shoppe Groovin' Grape

Pop Shoppe Groovin' Grape

Back story time. There is a little beverage center here in Buffalo that sells little glass bottles of soda for like $.30 each. It’s not mind blowing, but it’s better than most “normal” pop. They usually came in Pop Shoppe bottles, so we thought that was what it was, until we discovered that it was actually made by a company called College Club from Rochester, NY. They just bought up reusable bottles from old companies who no longer used them. Later on we were on a trip to Canada and I came across some soda that was made by the real Pop Shoppe. In reality it wasn’t much different than the Pop Shoppe stuff, but that means that it was still good. It came in glass bottles so that was a plus, even if it was about 5x more expensive (still only $1.50).

Now you’re caught up to the time when my band was doing a Canadian weekend a little while back and I came across Pop Shoppe skinny cans in a grocery store. I bought a couple of four packs because they were on sale for $1.50 each. Sadly this Groovin’ Grape did not measure up to their bottled sodas. It tastes like they were trying to go for a more actual grape taste than grape soda normally does. The problem is that they didn’t get it quite right. There is no grape juice in this, and while I can taste where they were trying to go, they missed their mark. It’s not horrible, but it’s not great. I don’t know if I would even call it good. It’s just kind of there. I could drink it if it were served to me, but never would I purchase it again myself.

Website
http://www.thepopshoppe.com/
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 8th, 2013
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Jones 24c Blueberry Grape

Jones 24c Blueberry Grape

Blueberry grape? Who has heard of such a thing? Blueberry is always paired with pomegranate and these two just shouldn't blend. Jones, the insane Canadians that they are, decided that they can do whatever they want. They put those guys together in one bottle and came up with...wait for it...a strange drink. It smells good and it invites you in. When you drink it, you get some blueberry and some grape juice but there is something else in there, something that I didn't like. I don't want to say bitter but it had a bit of that acai taste to it even though that wasn't an ingredient. I think it's actually the vegetable juice that they use for color that kind of snuck in some flavor. I've had this before with those drinks that are fruit flavored but have a days worth of vegetable intake in them. I'm fine with that, but know that it also delivers this strange aftertaste. If you know this stuff, you will be fine. I am the informer. Snow and I, we are informers.

Website
http://www.jonessoda.com
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Inverted Cane Sugar
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 5th, 2013
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