Taiwan (100 reviews)

T. Grand Assam Green Tea Lemon

T. Grand Assam Green Tea Lemon

Look, if an iced tea can even possibly be good past its expiration date, I'm fine with it. Those are just suggestions anyhow, right? Sure, this expired in April and here we are deep into December but honestly, how bad could it have gotten? There isn't anything in this drink that could really go bad. I suppose that could be a bad thing in itself if you think about it. Like that shot of a McDonald's cheeseburger every day for a month that looks just as good as the day it was purchased. Something that will never die and never tarnish is wrong in itself. We're supposed to age. We're supposed to get wrinkles. That's what our natural, genetic makeup is telling our bodies to do. Get hunchy, get grey, and get upset when people walk on your lawn.

This drink, old age and all, was good. I don't think that if I drank it in it's specifically allocated time it would have been any better or even different really. It tastes different than American lemon green teas. It's almost hard to place what makes it different but something here just tastes more right. It tastes like there is some actual tea in there. Sure, in the ingredients it's listed as "green tea extract" and "green tea flavor" but that's about all you can get out of green tea, right? Lemon juice concentrate is real lemon. Honey is honey. "Lemon flavor" is a bit sketch but it's lemon. Who cares? We know what it tastes like. This might be all of the above ingredients plus a hint or essence of something floral.

If I ever go to Taiwan, I will most certainly look for M. Bison, but after that search promptly grinds to a halt, I feel like I will have fun looking for drinks like this because this tastes right.

Website
http://www.tgrand.com.tw/product_en_html/EN2-22.html
Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 28th, 2013
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Vivaloe Watermelon Aloe

Vivaloe Watermelon Aloe

Viva Aloe! That is a statement I can get behind. I don’t know how a plant that tastes so much like poison when found in nature can be transformed into such a tantalizing beverage, but some things you are just not meant to know. Other things that I didn’t need to know include that there are more chickens on the planet than humans (the great poultry revolt will soon be upon us) and that the guy from Drew Carey did the voice of Batman in one of the cartoons (way to talk about taking you out of the awesomeness that is Batman).

This may be the first aloe drink that I have tasted that tasted fresh and not like it came from some mix. The bottle boasts, “no gelatin, no powder, no artificial color or flavors,” so it looks like I was somewhat correct. It’s also make from real fruit juice, which is a nice change from the fake flavors these drinks normally have. This also has mammoth size aloe chunks in it, amongst the smaller ones. It’s mostly smaller chunks that are the size they are in most aloe drinks, but every once in awhile you get a huge hunking one and it’s wonderful.

On top of all of that this is the only watermelon flavored beverage…actually any watermelon product that I have had that doesn’t taste like a Jolly Rancher candy. This actually tastes like the fruit. It’s subtle, but it’s there and it doesn’t taste overly watered down like I imagine straight watermelon juice would. I think this is a miracle of nature.

I also see that this company makes a honeydew variety and I must now hunt that down before I can die happy.

Website
http://vivaloebev.com/
Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Pure Cane Sugar
Categories
Aloe Vera, Chunky
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on August 21st, 2013
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Mr. Brown Cappuccino

Mr. Brown Cappuccino

Mr. Brown, I've come to your house not to sell you vacuums, not to sell encyclopedias, and not to sell knives that cut pennies but not tomatoes. I have come here to shake your hand and thank you for your consistently great coffee drinks. Whether it be a Blue Mountain blend, a latte, or a simple cappuccino, you hit it out of the park. You are the Babe Ruth of coffee drinks. You see what I did there? Are you a baseball fan, because I just likened you to one of the greats? Why no, I do not know anything about baseball. It's been about fifteen years since I've cared about baseball when I stopped collecting baseball cards.

Specifics? You've got it. This drink is smooth but somehow not too sweet. It's got a great cappuccino taste that isn't as bitey as some of the other cappuccino drinks. I shared some and the consensus was that you do good work. I will further that sentiment by adding that you should be proud of yourself for once again nailing it.

I'm sorry that I don't have much more to offer you in terms of gratitude. Here is...let's see what I've got here. I've got two dollars and...twenty two cents you can have and the knowledge that this review will be up on Thirsty Dudes dot com illustrating our love and appreciation for your drinks. Thanks again and don't worry about where I got your address. Let's just say it was in a little thing called the map to celebrities’ homes that I bought from a man around the corner from here.

Website
http://www.mrbrown.com.tw
Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on July 17th, 2013
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Hey Song Refreshing & Sparkling

Hey Song Refreshing & Sparkling

Hey Song likes to take your every day soda and turn it on end. Since I can only speak English and minimal Spanish, I have no idea what this was supposed to be or what the ingredients are. I went in with an open mind, eager for something weird. I expected it to be white gourd or guava flavored because the color scheme would match Hey Song’s juices of those flavors. Secretly I was hoping, and praying that this was going to be a cucumber soda. The can is green and it says refreshing; what is more refreshing than cucumbers? The answer is nothing. To summarize I was expecting something out of the ordinary.

What I was not expecting was a lemon lime soda, which is what I’m pretty sure this is supposed to be. The first couple of sips I drank took me a moment to place the flavor, but that is where my palate landed. As I drank a little more I started to notice another flavor as well, something a bit on the bitter side. I believe it to be tea. This reminds me a lot of the early versions of Steaz. It has that same extra flavor that the Steaz root beer had. It’s unexpected, but kind of nice. It’s certainly much better than a plain lemon lime soda would have been.

If anyone out there knows what this flavor actually is, and can confirm or disprove my review, please let me know. I went into this one with blind taste buds.

Website
http://www.heysong.com.tw/web_en/index.htm
Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Couldn't Read Ingredients
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 16th, 2013
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Hey Song Red Guava Mixed Fruits Juice

Hey Song Red Guava Mixed Fruits Juice

All right fellas, it’s time to make a batch of our mixed fruit juice. What do we have extra laying around? Okay, we have guavas and red guavas. Well that’s not very eclectic. Sure I love guava as much as the next guy, but we already have these cans printed up and they say mixed fruit. If we just go with guava, even though it’s two different types, we should really just call it guava juice. So, what else do we have? Tomatoes? Seriously Bonny? Tomatoes aren’t a fruit; they are a gross vegetable! What do you mean they are a fruit not a vegetable? You know what I will Google it! Well, would you look at that, tomatoes are officially considered a fruit… who knew? You’re all telling me that you knew they were considered fruit and not a vegetable? You’re all a bunch of dirty liars, that’s what you are. Anyway it looks like tomatoes are the only other fruit we have, so throw it in with the guavas.

Well that turned out much better than I thought. We may have gone overboard with the sweeteners, but I really didn’t want this to taste like V8 at all, and we succeeded with that. People will never know that the other fruit involved is tomato, as no one ever reads ingredients anyways. Taste wise this ended up being a really thick guava juice. Actually, I would say it tastes like sugar water with guava juice mixed in. It’s not the finest work that we have done here at Hey Song, but it could have turned out a lot worse with the ingredients we were left to manage with.

Website
http://www.heysong.com.tw/web_en/index.htm
Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Sucrose
Categories
Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 8th, 2013
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Master Cafe Espresso Colombien

Master Cafe Espresso Colombien

Espresso. It's life super caffeinated coffee. Also, so that I may be the voice of all baristas, there is no "X" in "Espresso." Although it will allow you to go faster as in "express mode," it does not get its name from that. As a matter of fact, no one really knows the origin or definition of the word "Espresso." It was made up as soon as someone tasted the stuff. It was born from an accident, you know, like Silly Putty. Someone improperly trained worker at a coffee shop in the 1700's went to go make a coffee, put the ground up beans in, poured someone else a cup of coffee, forgot he had already put beans in, crammed more beans in, idiotically couldn't figure out why it was so hard to close the machine with the normal amount of ease, and made a double batch of coffee.

That drink, an incorrectly brewed cup of coffee, birthed the espresso and also birthed Master Cafe. You see, the worked, having sold a couple dozen cups of his new, super strong blend, declared himself "Master Cafe" because people wanted his drink. Eventually that worker moved on to leave the company and just make this coffee. He handed it down from generation to generation until today where it is the same blend just with more sugar. When you put coffee in cans, you put sugar on it. It's a rule. It is a stronger than coffee, coffee drink with enough sugar to make it so people that don't completely love the bitterness of coffee enjoy it.

I enjoyed this and I think it is a fine homage to that faithful although misinformed employee that simply forgot what he was doing and turned that mistake into an empire. Here's to another three centuries, Master Cafe.

Website
http://www.uni-president.com
Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on July 8th, 2013
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Cafe Plaza Ice Coffee

Cafe Plaza Ice Coffee

Deep in the jungles of Taiwan, there is a man called Hanklin. His mother wanted to name him "Hank" and his dad wanted to name him "Franklin" so they thought it would make the most sense to just combine them and everyone wins; everyone except for Hanklin who has a really dumb name.

Hanklin wanted to get out of the city. He was an extrovert. He moved to a jungle, hooked up a couple solar panels, built a 500 square foot house, and subscribed to satellite internet. Yeah, it's slower, but he's "off the grid." He works hard but doesn't do so well with others. He tends to lose his temper over dumb things like getting sand in his shoes, when he's eating a hamburger and the stuff on the inside starts to fall out, and when people don't hold the door for him when he knows they know he's coming. He was a raw plastic salesman that uses the term "remote office" to its fullest extent.

He works day and night which is fine by him. When he needs stuff, he drives the fifteen miles to the closest town and goes shopping. He tries to make as little stops as he can. One day, he went to town and bought a bottle of ice coffee. He usually just drinks bottled water but he just made a big sale and decided to "splurge" even though he makes over $100,000 and probably spends less than $100 a week to live. He got home with his many, many melons, odd cuts of odd meat, suntan lotion, cases of water, vegetables, and toiletries and decided to crack open his new drink.

He took one sip and was brought back to when he lived in the States. A more complicated time filled with excess, noise, and complicated decisions. The coffee was good but it was a bit too sweet for his liking. It wasn't too much that he couldn't drink it, but it was sweet enough that he wouldn't drink it again. It smelled good, tasted alright, and was tall enough to span two drink sessions.

When he finished the bottle, he put it in his one weekly garbage bag and went on with his life. After all, now he had the energy to start selling the new Polystyrene beads that they got very cheap at a high markup that will net Hanklin even more money that he won't spend.

Website
http://www.uni-president.com
Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 20th, 2013
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Famous House Blue Mountain Blend

Famous House Blue Mountain Blend

This is the perfect coffee for me. I like the smell of coffee but the taste is too strong and bitter. It's just something I can't manage. I drink drinks with chunks in it without blinking and drinks hotter than the fires of hell but coffee I just can't handle. You can call me a baby. I don't give a rip. This though, this smells like a strong coffee, which worried me at first but at first taste I fell in love with it. It somehow keeps the scent but the sugar, which is pure cane I should add, smoothes out the drink to a delightful place that I could spend all day in. Oh chubby Famous House mascot. If you could come to life and sit down with me, I would treat you to a can of this. Why I'm treating you to a drink that your company makes seems dumb since you could probably manage to get free cases of the stuff but nonetheless, I am thanking you for making such a good drink. You should feel honored having your pudgy face on that can.

Website
http://famoushouse.com.tw
Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 15th, 2013
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Master Cafe Espresso Tiramisu

Master Cafe Espresso Tiramisu

I don't eat tiramisu because I'm not a big rummy. Yeah, those tasty ladyfingers are soaked in rum and you serve it to your kids. I don't mean to get preachy but that's bad parenting. Giving kids rum. Look, if you want to rub some on their baby gums so they can make it through the tough teething process that’s your call. I didn't and wouldn't but that's a freebee if you want it. Tiramisu, though: rummy. This is a Taiwanese coffee drink that tastes, or is supposed to taste like that dessert delicacy but doesn't really. As a coffee drink it's fine but as a cake flavored coffee drink it's just not there. It smells like cake but doesn't really taste like it. Sitting here with the empty can net to me wafting the coffee scented cake towards my nostrils is a constant reminder that it could have been good. I'm about to throw this can across the room since it smells so good but is about half as good as it is leading me to believe it is. This indestructible can is filled with disappointment and hype. It's good, but a let down. I wanted cake and coffee for breakfast. I only got coffee and the sensation of someone eating cake next to me and not sharing.

Website
http://www.uni-president.com
Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 9th, 2013
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Chin Chin Grass Jelly Drink Lychee

Chin Chin Grass Jelly Drink Lychee

We've all licked an old woman before, right? Whether it be on a dare of for pleasure, we know what old women taste like. Whenever we, the Thirsty Dudes, drink anything lychee, it brings us to horrid nights where we used to spend time with old ladies. Dancing, swooning, and kissing on the cheek. Lucky for us, this drink was a little bit different.

Right off the bat, the cane sugar is apparent as can be and actually tastes very good. It's like it almost has a bite like it was freshly made with real cane. I do not doubt that it's real, but it's the freshness of it that took me off guard. The chunks are as lovable as always; multisized and incredibly prominent. You can't get a sip in without getting a mouthful of those little gummy buggers. If you were scared of them and you tried to skim through your teeth, you would be left with a mass of gummy chunks on your teeth, which might be worse for you.

The flavor was actually pretty good. It was strong and very floral but it wasn't too much like many of the other lychee drinks that we've done in the past. All together it was a pretty good mix of sweet, chunky, interesting, and fruity. It was surprising.

We drank this on air for the sixty-third installment of the Buffalo Eats podcast. They seemed to like it and we all agree that it was not as bad as we thought that it would be which made it more than acceptable. Listen to our other podcast and the rest of Donnie's podcasts. He's a great dude and easily gets sidetracked by talks of music, video games, and other odds and ends just like us.

Website
http://enogee.com/Drink.php?ord=Bst&Drink=21&Title=ChinChin_-_Vitality_Boost_energy_drink_review
Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Chunky, Other/Weird
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 26th, 2013
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