Taiwan (100 reviews)

Blue Mountain Cafe Coffee

Blue Mountain Cafe Coffee

Sheryl, there isn't enough coffee to make two cups. I know how you get when you don't have your coffee but I too need the energy to make it through the morning. Perhaps we compromise with the following scenario. We take the coffee, we split it right down the middle. Then we take a little bit of creamer and a little bit of sugar to fill up the cup a bit more. Then, since we aren't going to make a coffee with fifty percent coffee and fifty percent milk, we are going to do about a fifty-fifty split milk and water to fill it. Yes, it will cut down on the coffee flavor and it will taste like watered down coffee but hey, we both need what we need, right Sheryl? You agree to this agreement? Let's have a marital shake on it. There we go. Let's take our "probably worst cup of coffee we will ever have" and go to our separate works. I love you, Sheryl. Sorry today's coffee sucks. Let's blame it on our twenty-four year old son who refuses to "conform to society" and instead, doesn't work and drinks all our coffee and sleeps in the basement. I swear, if I have to hear that Macklemore and Ryan Lewis song about the Salvation Army one more time, I'm going to take all his stuff and donate it there since he loves it so much. That'll show that kid. Well, then he'll just spend more time here to acquire more stuff to move out with. Sheryl, he's never leaving, is he? Can't we live our own lives? Why can't we live our own lives, Sheryl. Sheryl? When can we live our own lives?!?!?

Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 1st, 2013
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Chin Chin Grass Jelly Drink Pandan Leaf

Chin Chin Grass Jelly Drink Pandan Leaf

When we were at the Asian market, Jay asked if I wanted this pandan leaf drink. I heard "panda meat" and although I knew that wasn't true, I wanted it nonetheless. I'm not surprised they don't have meat-flavored drinks but they're close with Clamato and I had a Goya with clam in it that wasn't half bad. It was like a briny V8. This, on the other hand, was not as good as the other grass jelly drinks I have had. It smelled and tasted like corn cereal. I don't know what pandan leaf is. The crude illustration on the can makes me believe that it looks like an aloe leaf but this didn't taste like aloe at all. There is cornstarch in this drink, which seems odd to me. What business does cornstarch have in a drink? I can't think of one.

Flavor aside, I missed the chunks. This had aloe-esque chunks in it rather than the generous chunks that I wanted and expected and expected my intern to drink. He got off easy today. Better luck next time, malicious me.

Website
http://enogee.com/Drink.php?ord=Bst&Drink=21&Title=ChinChin_-_Vitality_Boost_energy_drink_review
Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Chunky, Other/Weird
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 22nd, 2013
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Sappe Aloe Vera Apple Flavor

Sappe Aloe Vera Apple Flavor

There were two things Johnny Snake Eyes loved in life: his switchblade and his dice. To be fair, he really only pretended to care about his blade to give him a tough appearance. He really just lived for his six sided friends. You could almost always find him in some back alley or subway platform running a game of bones. It was more than a game to him. It was a science. He knew the laws of probability and used it to advantage to always come out on top.

He took his love of the game to new levels. The only ate vegetables if they were diced. He would only take a dare if someone said it was dicey. Most importantly for our reading audience, he always had a bottle of Sappe Aloe Vera drink on him. The reason was that the aloe chunks in it were not only diced, but they were actually the exact size of his beloved shakers. Seriously, the chunks are that big and they are wonderful. His particularly enjoyed the apple variety. When he first picked up a bottle (he won it in a game of cee-lo from a worker in an Asian bodega) he had expected it to have that terrible fake apple taste, that is so specific, but in reality tastes nothing like fruit. Luckily the odds of probability were in his favor, and it did taste more like a real apple. The sugar gave it a little bit of a candied flavor, but it was mostly fruit. For that he was thankful.

Next time he’s in that area, he plans on playing the shop keep again for a different flavor. It may be a while though because the comic book store that sits beside it always has a gaggle of nerds outside that always challenge him with their twenty sided die, and Johnny Snake Eyes just doesn’t roll that way.

Website
http://www.sappe.sk/
Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Fructose
Categories
Aloe Vera, Chunky
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 10th, 2013
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Tea Shop 168 Aloe Vera and Green Tea

Tea Shop 168 Aloe Vera and Green Tea

Welcome to Tea Shop 168 where we have 168 different flavors of tea. I know it’s a bit overwhelming making your choice, but I’ll let you in on a secret: 142 of the flavors are different blends of green tea that pretty much taste identical unless you went to school for teaology. I don’t really believe that’s a real major, but the owners assure me they are teaologists. They probably went to Evergreen in Olympia…hippies.

I know 27 different varieties of tea can still be a bit much to choose from, so may I suggest you try our aloe vera green tea fusion? It’s an interesting ride. Some say that it is just green tea with aloe chunks thrown in. Those people are just dumb. I know. I make the tea and I can assure you that there is also aloe vera juice in it. It is mostly green tea, but you can still definitely taste the aloe juice. It’s strange having a slightly bitter aloe drink, and the chunks have a fairly different flavor from what you’re probably used to, assuming that you have had aloe drinks before. Oh you haven’t? Well aloe essentially tastes like a light white grape juice with a little something extra to it. It’s delicious, and I can’t sing it’s praises enough.

So yeah, this is unusual and fun. It certainly isn’t mind blowing, but when you’re choosing either this or some tea infused with raw meat, it’s the choice to make. Teaology…What a joke. The owners just soak random foods in green tea and act like they are scientists. They don’t even wear lab coats or goggles. Lamers.

ps. I just discovered that Tea Shop 168 is an actual tea shop with a physical stores all throughout Ontario. AS far as I know they do not have 142 different types of green tea. Also, I can only assume that they do have roast beef tea, as their website does not explicitly state that they do not. Don’t forget your horseradish.

Website
http://www.teashop168.ca/
Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Aloe Vera, Chunky, Iced Tea
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 17th, 2012
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The Story Of Fruit Tea Passion Fruit Green Tea

The Story Of Fruit Tea Passion Fruit Green Tea

Children, gather around the fire and I shall tell you a tale. It is the story of fruit tea. It is a tale as old as time and this is how it goes: some people were thirsty so they decided to brew some tea. They wanted to make it a bit more exciting than their normal afternoon beverage so them juiced some passionfruit into it. The end. I know it is a short story and not exciting in the least bit. There were no lions, or robots, or robots that turned into lions and breathed fire out of their butt, but it is a story nonetheless. If you have a problem with my story, then I shall offer you a sip of my tea and that will shut you right up. It is sweet and flavorsome. If you’ve ever had passionfruit bubble tea than you know exactly how this tastes. Green tea used in bubble tea has a specific taste and that is exactly what is in this bottle. If you’re not a fool then you got it with passionfruit, because it is the king of fruits, or at least is in a Game of Thrones type war for the crown. How on Earth did a television show written explicitly for nerds gain such a normal audience? I think it’s the promise of dragons and zombies. Perhaps there will even be an undead dragon. Or an undead robotic lion that shoots fire out of its butt. I would watch that and drink a gallon of this tea as I did so.

Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 16th, 2012
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Ohealth Groud

Ohealth Groud

Ahh, the "other/weird" category of Thirsty Dudes. Most of the stuff isn't domestic so we have to travel and discover this stuff. This was quite the unexpected discovery, I must say.

I had a handful of people try this and here are some of the one sentence reviews that have been provided to me:


  • It tastes like plastic.

  • It tastes like grass.

  • It tastes like pool water.

  • I can't get past the texture.

I don't know what the flavor/ingredient of a"groud" and if I had to guess, I would fail. This drink is semi-gelatinous and really tastes like a goopy brown sugar drink. It's not at all offensive and is very smooth both in flavor and texture. It's not completely gross but I can understand how it is off-putting. It's a chunky drink and that is hard for people to take. It's not particularly great or even good. It's not bad, either. It's just kind of...there. It doesn't taste like much. Between that and the fact that most people just can't accept the texture, I can't give this a high rating. The texture caught me by surprise and I usually like stuff like this.

Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Sugar and Brown Sugar
Categories
Chunky, Other/Weird
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 1st, 2012
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Mong Lee Shang Pearl Soybean Drink Strawberry Flavoured

Mong Lee Shang Pearl Soybean Drink Strawberry Flavoured

Do you remember the Nestle Quik bunny, aka Quiky? From the 70s to the 90s he worked promoting the Nesquik powders used to flavor milk. He got all caught up in the glamour and in 2001 he hit rock bottom. The drugs, the interspecial relationships, he realized it was all to much for him and that he needed to walk away. Nestle hired a new rabbit (Nesquik) and most of the world never noticed the difference. Fame can do strange things to a bunny, and it takes a big rabbit to know when to extradite yourself from a situation.

Quiky spent a few years traveling the globe trying to find himself. He got clean, and adopted the vegan lifestyle. While visiting Taiwan he met up with the folks at Mong Lee Shang and he worked with them to create an incredible strawberry soymilk. It was essentially the old Nesquik strawberry powder from the 70s mixed in with soymilk, but it was a taste that Quiky had missed and he never thought he would have again. For some reason the company insisted on adding tapioca balls to the drink. Quiky didn’t know why, but he had to admit that they added an element of fun to the drink and didn’t really havea taste of their own.

Things were looking up for our bunny friend. He was set to appear as spokesperson for this new drink, and the company promised to keep it wholesome. Everything fell apart though when he found out that the drink actually contained caseinate (milk protein), and that it wasn’t really vegan at all. Quiky felt like he had been duped and he walked out of the offices of Mong Lee Shang never to be heard from again.

Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Chunky, Soy
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on November 20th, 2012
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T. Grand Assam Green Tea Honey

T. Grand Assam Green Tea Honey

Steve, why did you start brewing the green tea out in the yard? You didn’t like the way it made the house smell? Well that is just dumb. Brewing tea smells delicious. In fact I always look forward to coming home from work so I can open up the door and be greeted by that wonderful aroma. Now, my second question; why did you start brewing the green tea out in the yard in the middle of the bee apiary? Oh, that’s the only place it would fit where it wouldn’t be in the way of your croquet game. I guess that’s understandable, but tell me this did you clean the vats out between batches? I mean I know I probably shouldn’t have left you in charge for the two months that I was on vacation, but I leave a life of leisure and I need to do that from time to time. The thing is that the bees seemed to have incorporated the vats into their hives and if we want to sell any of this tea we’re going to have to filter out the honeycombs and dead bees. Let’s just do that and never mention this to anyone else. I just hope the tale of this doesn’t end up on some dumb website.

Steve, we’ve somehow brewed a tea that tastes exactly like Asian green tea. I don’t know how to explain the difference between the green tea I brew from a tea bag and the kind you get in a Chinese restaurant, but this is way more like the latter. The bee residue that we filtered out actually gives this a little bit of a honey flavor. I personally like my green tea unsweetened, but I think a lot of people would be into this. It has a medium level of sweetness, which is what many people need for a stepping-stone to the world of unsweetened teas. Your blunder may have actually been a gateway to a healthier America. Good job, son.

Website
http://www.tgrand.com.tw/product_en_html/EN2-22.html
Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on November 18th, 2012
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Kuang Chuan Milk Tea Tiramisu

Kuang Chuan Milk Tea Tiramisu

Blasted ladyfingers. Why? Why do you have to ruin a perfectly good dessert with rum? You turds. Why? I don't eat things cooked in or with alcohol so when I found out that tiramisu swam in the lake of Cap'n Morgan, I swore off the sweet treat for eternity. Honestly, I never was that crazy about it to begin with so not eating it doesn't really affect me but when I came across this little guy in a wondrous Asian market in Toronto with the Thirsty Dude called Jay, I had to buy it.

This drink tastes like tiramisu. It's odd. Cake flavored drink. Oh, I'm sorry, have you had one before? We've had ice cream flavored drinks, Masala flavored drinks, corn flavored drinks, but never cake. Why not? It seems to not be a problem for these guys. Maybe a chocolate cake tea would be nice. Try it. This tea tastes like the cake it's supposed to. I know it's a novel idea since it's a self-proclaimed "Tiramisu" flavored but we drink stuff all the time that doesn't taste like it's supposed to and this isn't exactly a "regular" drink so it could have gone either way. As far as the "milk tea" thing goes, it’s more milk than tea but they're both there. A black tea powder (odd) and a skim milk (not odd) make up the base of this.

Also, it should be pointed out that one carton of this is about as bad for you as a slice of real tiramisu so if you are looking for a replacement, this is it, but if you're looking to save on calories, don't bother and eat real cake. If you've got your jaw wired shut like Kanye West before he felt the need to make up for lost time and never shut up, this is your go-to-guy.

Website
http://www.kuangchuan.com/
Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea, Milk
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on November 17th, 2012
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Chin Chin Guava Juice Drink

Chin Chin Guava Juice Drink

First things first with a name like Chin Chin this makes me think that monkeys either make it or they serve it. I don’t think I’ve ever watched or read anything with a monkey names Chin Chin, so I have no idea where this thought is coming from, but I just can’t shake it.

If there is a monkey that makes this juice, he/she needs to step up their game. This is a decent enough juice, but most guava juices are through the roof good. This is just decent. It’s just a bit more watered down than others and there is a tad too much sugar added for my liking. I urge someone who knows sign language to tell this chimp to fix these issues or else they will be shot into space. No one wants to be shot into space. It’s scary there.

Website
http://enogee.com/Drink.php?ord=Bst&Drink=21&Title=ChinChin_-_Vitality_Boost_energy_drink_review
Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on November 6th, 2012
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