United States (2576 reviews)
Aloha Maid Natural Iced Tea
Today I went on a long horseback ride through mountains and beaches. If I had long hair it would have been flowing through the breeze. Since I do not, I instead got a dusting of red dry mud. That's dirt for you amateurs out there. After my ride I settled down with a couple of very dusty dogs and I downed a can of this local iced tea.
The can boasts proudly that there is no HFCS contained with in and that they use the finest natural cane sugar. This got me pumped. I love tea in cans. I have a ridiculous theory that the tea continuously brews in the can making it more potent. It's also rare to find a cane sugar tea in a can.
I cracked this baby open and took a huge chug in the blistering sunlight. Then I wiped the dribble from my mouth using the back of my hand, thus creating wet dirt. Did I enjoy the refreshment? You betcha. Was it special? Not really. It was reminiscent of Nestea. I had hoped for something a little better, but it got the job done.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Iced Tea
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 4/26/2011
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Aloha Maid Natural Passion Orange
I always think I don't particularly like swimming. There were two instances in my childhood where I almost died. I rarely think about them, but water doesn't seem very inviting. I'm not afraid of it. Cliff jumping is high on my list of favorite things to do. It just normally seems boring. I think the fact that my skin instantly combusts in the sun probably factors in. Today I discovered a new thing I like to do in water; snorkeling. I was face down in the water for nearly two hours. I chased all sorts of fish all over the reef. I saw tons of crazy neon tropical fish, and even two creepy "sea spiders."
Do you know what the body needs after two hours of snorkeling in the ocean? Refreshment. For that I chose juice, specifically this tropical local juice. It was a wise decision on my part. It was nice and cold and quenched what I thought was an undying thirst. How was I thirsty? I was in the water for so long. My stupid body needs to learn to absorb fluids. I must evolve!
The juice was mostly passion fruit flavored with a slight orange undertone. I had expected the orange to be stronger, and was pleasantly surprised to find I was wrong. I'm really going to miss Aloha juices when I have to head home.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 4/29/2011
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Aloha Maid Natural Strawberry Guava
One of the things that I love about the Aloha drinks is that the order they list the flavors on the can is the order that you taste them. In this drink you instantly get a very strong strawberry flavor that transfers into the tropical guava sweetness. I also appreciate that they use fruit purees instead of fruit juice from concentrate. Keeping it classy.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 4/29/2011
- Comments
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Aloic Organic Original
Summer is depressingly over. If you live where I live, you can essentially kiss the sun goodbye (great album name that is available with credit given to me) for the next six months. These are things we deal with on the East Coast. Oh it's bright and you still need sunglasses but you can't see the sun and need twelve jackets to fight the ice age that is northeast winters. It's fine. It's really no big deal.
Why do I bring up the sun and a paragraph of nothing before I review a drink? Well for two reasons mostly. Number one is that I'm trying to create a picture and a scene and number two is that we are terrible at writing drink reviews. You can't really say otherwise and if you do, well, thanks. You're too kind. Wrong, but kind. We're narrative masterminds but we are not product reviews.
So aloe is used to cure us from the sun's lashings upon our fair skin. Human skin was made for holding in our muscles, guts, and organs. "Guts" might be slang for organs so I might have just said the same thing twice but I didn't want to leave anyone out. Now that the sun isn't out we can't get burnt, the role of aloe turns from topical to internal usage. That's right. Aloe drinks are winter drinks to prep our skin from the inside out to prepare it for the emergence of the sun come April. What better way to do it that with the help of Aloic? It's not overly sweet, still has a ton of chunks, and that grapy taste that anyone who likes grape juice or has drank an aloe drink in the past loves. The sweetness part is the item that gets my love. That is a problem I have with a lot of aloe drinks is that they are too sweet. Good, but too sweet. This solves that problem in a delicious, chunky way.
I can feel my skin tightening and toughening up as I drink this. Every sip is one more day I don't have to wear sunscreen, a safari hat, and pants in the summer to protect me from that jerk sun. I appreciate all that you do what with annually burning my lawn and killing my flowers with your relentless rays, but sometimes you can be a real turd. Just tone it down a little bit. Go hide behind the clouds and read a nudie mag or something so we can stop fertilizing and melting.
- Website
- http://www.aloic.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Aloe Vera
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 10/19/2012
- Comments
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Alova Sparkling Aloe Drink Cucumber Mint
What I have in my hand is perhaps one of the most uniquely flavored drinks I have ever tasted. Let’s start with the base of aloe shall we? Aloe the plant that is used to sooth burns is absolutely disgusting in its raw form. Seriously, just take it from me save yourself the taste of poison in your mouth. Just use it on burns caused by the sun or other. Processed aloe, or whatever they do to it to make it into a beverage is one of my favorite tasting drinks ever. So we have this vat of delicious aloe juice, what should we put in it? Oh how about the most refreshing of flavors of all time: the cucumber. Cucumber flavored drinks sounds ridiculous, that is until you try it and then you want it constantly. Every cucumber beverage I have tried tastes exactly like the vegetable, and as I said it’s the peak of refreshment; move over lemonade. So we have some cucumber aloe juice now. Truth be told we could stop right here, but why not see how far we can take it? Why don’t you throw some mint into the mix? Not enough to give it that toothpaste taste, but just enough to make it crisp. You know, so you don’t really realize it’s there until the aftertaste. To top it all off, why not pump some CO2 into it and give it some bubbles? Bam! Done! Perfect! It’s crisp, it’s refreshing and it ends on a nice cool note. It’s a combination I have never tasted before. Why this company is not huge I have no idea. This is a base that other beverages should be modeled after.
- Website
- http://www.lovealova.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 12/24/2012
- Comments
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Amazake Rice Shake Tiger Chai
Whenever I see a new vegan milkshake, I feel the need to try it. I have never had a milkshake made with rice milk before, but when I saw this was chai flavored I had to try it. Sadly, it doesn't have a strong chai taste to it. It mostly taste like almonds and nutmeg. The consistency is really good, not too thin and not too thick. While I'm not crazy about this flavor, it shows promise for the other flavors Amazake offers.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Naturally Sweetened
- Categories
- Milkshake
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 10/4/2010
- Comments
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Amazake Rice Shake Chocolate Almond
Imagine finding a Hershey's with Almonds chocolate bar in a box full of chalk. It would be a weird sight, wouldn't it? Now imagine eating the chocolate. It would still taste like chocolate, but the chalk taste would still be there with every bite.
That is exactly how this drink taste. I want to like it, I really do. But with every sip, the chalk taste just sits in the back of my mouth while the delicious chocolate taste lingers on my lips.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Naturally Sweetened
- Categories
- Milkshake
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 2/10/2011
- Comments
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Amp Energy
There are two types of people in the world: those who love Mountain Dew, and those that think it's really disgusting. I am on team "Mountain Spew". I have had this Mountain Dew flavored energy drink before and didn't like it. I bought this for a friend who was going to be screen printing all night, but he ended up not needing it so I decided to drink it.
Now when you mix a drink I already hate with lots of typically gross tasting energy ingredients, it's a recipe for disaster. This taste like someone mixed Mountain Dew in a vat with a piece of carpet and then filtered it through a moldy sponge. Sure it does the job and gives you energy, but at what cost? I feel like my stomach hates me right now.
- Website
- http://www.ampenergy.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Categories
- Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 6/18/2011
- Comments
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- Buy Now
- AMP ENERGY 12 PK / 16 OZ CANS
Amp Energy Focus Mixed Berry
Dude I know you’ve been working out a flat-tax proposal, but we totally have a gig tonight and we need your head in the game. What’s that? No, I don’t care that you somehow proved that there’s no god with your numbers. Don’t you see that is completely meaningless when we’re about to play the BATTLE OF THE BANDS! We’ve been practicing for weeks in Mark’s garage, and to be honest I need something to show my wife that this whole “little hobby” as she calls it is worthwhile. I mean I know we’re the best rockers this town has ever seen and that we’re totally going to ride to the top of the Billboard charts, but unless we win this thing I’m pretty sure Mavis is going to make me quit. So now drop the calculator, grab your bass and let’s go. You look a bit sluggish from going over those numbers all night, so I grabbed you an energy drink. They had a whole mess of them, but I grabbed this one because it’s called Amp and we’re rockers and there ain’t no rocker that’s gonna rock without his trusty Carvin amp. Also, it’s got some other junk in it that is supposed to help you keep focus and concentrate, and again to be honest you’re thunderous bass lines have been a bit sloppy lately. This should keep you on target. Actually I could use a little focus myself for my fiery solos. Hmm that stuff tastes pretty good. It tastes like some kind of blue candy that is basically just compressed sugar, you know like Spree or Sweet Tarts. It tastes better than your run of the mill energy drink. It actually doesn’t taste too chemically either. I would have thought adding more junk in an energy drink like choline and theanine would have made it taste more like a science experiment, but that sugary berry flavor really masks it well.
I really can’t believe that I talked about that energy drink the entire time we loaded up the truck, drove to the show, unloaded and set up. It’s time for us to start so here we go “If I Had A Million Dollars” in 4 3 2 1…….
- Website
- http://www.ampenergy.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Categories
- Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 3/24/2012
- Comments
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Amp Boost Grape
Energy drinks are a dime a dozen. There is one vat of that crud that all of the other energy drink companies suckle off of like a mama pig and her lil' piglets. They take the same stuff, add one ingredient, put it in a can with their logo on it, and sell it as their own stuff. Someone, probably a secret conglomerate company, is making a killing off of these little guys, but not Amp. They decided to take their business elsewhere. They are the rebels, the vigilantes. They do things their own way. They somehow managed to create an energy drink that doesn't taste like an energy drink. If you drank this and didn't know it was an energy drink, you would wonder why a half hour later you were bouncing off the walls.
This drink just tastes like grape pop. If you like grape pop and need a pick-me-up, this is it. It doesn't taste too syrupy regardless of the corn syrup. It just tastes like grape pop. Did I say that? It's just grape pop, in case I didn't.
There is an entire new line of these and now I'm not as disinterested in reviewing them because they don't taste like what "the man" thinks an energy drink should taste like. All of a sudden, Amp is like a cool dude that just came to your high school who might be 25, has a full beard, and somehow rides a motorcycle and keeps his hair looking sharp. How does he do it? You'll never know. You'll never be as cool as him and man, is that bike loud. The teachers hate it but even they think he's cool.
- Website
- http://www.ampenergy.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Categories
- Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 7/12/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment