United States (4124 reviews)

Hydro One True Green Tea

Hydro One True Green Tea

Lot's of science in this bottle. Not a lot of ingredients but the ingredients in there are very much one of two things:
1: Scientific names for simple ingredients.
2: Scientific ingredients.

Either way let me put into terms that idiots like you and myself can understand:
This is lightly sweetened green tea. It's ultra-slightly bitter like a green tea should be and some of that bitterness is from the Reb A/Stevia alternative sweetener. It has zero calories and doesn't taste like something your divorced aunt would give you the two times a month you visit her disgusting apartment.

There are a whole lot of empty promises about how this will help you lose weight but it's all based off the promise that you will continuously buy this drink in hopes that you lower your calorie count. While it's not a false claim, this drink doesn't do anything but quench your thirst. It tastes good. I would drink it again but I wouldn't hold it to any sort of standards or promises. That would be ignorant of me. I'm stupid, not ignorant.

Website
http://https://hydroonebeverages.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Rebaudioside
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 3rd, 2018
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Blume Honey Water Ginger Zest

Blume Honey Water Ginger Zest

I’m sure this is not something that a beverage company would ideally want to be associated with, but this would be perfect if you were feeling under the weather. It doesn’t really make me think of cough drops or anything like that, it just seems like it would be a nice relief if you had a sore throat or a cold. It’s honey, ginger, and lemon; that just screams soothing to me. If you drank this hot I feel like it could cure anything, well you know any sort of minor ailment, not a life threatening disease. It’s not magic.

The honey is very strong in this and the ginger has just the slightest burn to it. It’s certainly not a gulping beverage, but I cold sip on this all day long. Whether I am sick, or just looking for something that tastes delicious, this drink is there for me.

Website
http://https://www.blumehoneywater.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Honey
Categories
Ginger, Other/Weird, Water
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on October 3rd, 2018
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Hydro One REVd Blueberry & Pomegranate

Hydro One REVd Blueberry & Pomegranate

When things clearly say “Sugar Free” on them it makes me nervous. Artificial sweeteners should be filed directly in the filth bin and natural zero calorie sweeteners, while slightly more palatable, are really no prize. Typically I would prefer zero added sweeteners to something with zero calories. Hydro One has things worked out that make their products exceptions though. The beverages are sweetened with a mixture of Xylitol and Stevia, but for some reason they don’t cut through the flavor of the drink like nearly every other “diet” beverage out there. I believe that reason is the addition of cinnamon. I don’t know if it just happens to fall in the same taste spectrum, but where I would normally taste any variety of diet flavors, all I really get is a faint cinnamon taste. I am really on board with that.

As with the other flavors, to me this is a better version of a diet Vitamin Water. There is definitely a water base, as it is not thick like juice. The blueberry and pomegranate are not super strong, but are there more than enough to give it a proper flavoring. Of course there is that cinnamon riding through it all as well. This is a good option for those watching their sugar or calorie intake.

Website
http://https://hydroonebeverages.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Xylitol
Categories
Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on October 1st, 2018
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Polar Seltzer Jr. Pixie Lights

Polar Seltzer Jr. Pixie Lights

Polar’s Seltzer Jr line is back (from what I hear, to stay) and this time they brought two new friends with them. One of them is this little fella that goes by the name Pixie Lights. From the picture on the tiny can one would assume that the New England based company is insinuating that fireflies are really just little pixies, riding around on tiny lightbulbs. Don’t worry though, they wear itsy bitsy crash helmets so it’s all done safely.

Due to the name I really wanted this to somehow taste like Pixie Stix candy or you know like Red Bull without any sweetener added to it. I knew I wasn’t going to be getting what I hoped before I even took a sip. Could something really taste like flavored granulated sugar though that has no sugar in it? In reality what I got was a lightly floral citrus taste that I can’t really pinpoint. It’s not lemon, lime, orange or grapefruit. Maybe it’s something exotic like starfruit. Is starfruit a citrus? It could maybe be the seltzer taste/bubbles that keeps making me think of citrus. Whatever it is it’s light and refreshing , which is what I want out of seltzer.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 28th, 2018
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Matcha Love Unsweetened Japanese Matcha + Vanilla

Matcha Love Unsweetened Japanese Matcha + Vanilla

This is not what I expected. It's less bitter and bold than other matcha I have drink/drank/drunk. You don't get a lot of really anything. It tastes like "tea" and a watered down tea at that. It tastes like a green tea but it's only slightly bitter. I don't know about this, man. It's like they only had a little bit of mix and had to make a lot of drinks and they had to stretch it out. "Hey kids, I've got one pack of single serve Kool-Aid and there are four of us so we have to make due, alright?" While I don't mind, and have been known to water down my own drinks, this seems like a wasted attempt. Also, wut vanilla? It's not bad but it's also not much of anything and certainly nothing to write home about. Do we have to change that phrase? Are enough people writing home that we need to keep it? The alternative, which is unfortunate is something abysmal like, "This drink is nothing to text your daddy about." Begrudging and shuttering.

Website
http://www.itoen.com/matcha_love
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 27th, 2018
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Hydro One REVd Pineapple & Mango

Hydro One REVd Pineapple & Mango

What sits before me is a healthy sports drink that doesn’t taste like you are drinking the vat of chemicals that the Joker fell into. Sure, it has a slight diet edge to it, but it comes nowhere near the artificial taste of its contemporaries. Yes I know that their Bode line is their actual sports drink, but this is a beverage that falls under the same wheelhouse. If it makes you feel better, we can compare it to a Vitamin Water instead. Either way it has a great taste with zero sugar and zero calories. I believe their secret is that they have included a little cinnamon that really masks the stevia extract that is used to sweeten it. The cinnamon isn’t very strong, but what is there sits right where the diet flavor normally hits me.

I wanted to say that the pineapple mango aspect of it could just be listed as “tropical,” but once I separated the cinnamon I can make out both specific flavors. It was formulated to support diabetic health, but against all odds, it’s just plain tasty. I never thought I would ever find myself truly enjoying a zero calorie beverage of this sort, but here I am at 10am on Monday sipping away.

Website
http://https://hydroonebeverages.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Rebaudioside
Categories
Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 24th, 2018
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Polar Seltzer Pineapple Pomelo

Polar Seltzer Pineapple Pomelo

I think there should be an APB on the scientists over at Polar. How can one company come up with so many different flavors in such a short period of time? Surely there are unsafe work conditions and inhumane amount of hours. Flavors come out and, look; I've got my ear to the ground when it comes to new drinks, especially Polar. I can't keep up.

Pineapple pomelo. It was good. I say "was" because, much like the Hall and Oates song, she's gone. It wasn't the best. The pineapple was good and I might suggest that they have left it there. The pomelo didn't taste like much. It didn't add a whole lot of flavor. Side-by-side I might have been able to tell a different. It was not bad and I would get it again because of my love of pineapple, maybe just to pay more attention to where the pomelo lies in the mix.

This is good. Keep your jobs, wildly overworked flavor scientists.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 12th, 2018
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Coca-Cola Fiesty Cherry Diet

Coca-Cola Fiesty Cherry Diet

I'm a sucker for spice. Blame it on my Western New York upbringing. I've lost that part of me where I masochistically eat things that will burn my face off in exchange for flavor enhancement. Sue me. This tastes like a diet cherry Coke with (somehow) less "diet" taste and rewards you with a little bit of burn. I could be wrong but I burped while drinking this and it had a pretty distinct ginger beer burp flavor. I liked it. I drank the whole can. I rarely drink cola let alone diet cola but this is actually something I would revisit. I was told again and again to drink it cold. One would think that something was going to come out of the can, like a heat activated cola demon, if I let it get lukewarm. Little does he know that we Thirsty Dudes drinking warm pop all the time. There's not enough room in fridges nationwide to house the amount of drinks that we've had at one time in our heyday. Now, unfortunately, sadly, apathetically, Jay and I could probably contain our back stock in a college dorm room fridge and still have room for a cool, crisp can of Milwaukee's Best that we would never drink but you know goddamn well that Chad would drink it in a heartbeat. Chad. You're the worst. Don't even get me started on Chad. Chad sucks. We'll leave it at that.

Website
http://www.coca-cola.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Aspartame
Categories
Diet, Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 11th, 2018
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Blume Honey Water Vanilla Citrus

Blume Honey Water Vanilla Citrus

Well it certainly is nice to try something new again. This was great. I'll come right out of the gate, swinging my fists like a complete idiot; ready to fight no one and everyone at the same time. Honey rules. I put it in my coffee at home. I put it on ice cream. I add it to other stuff that you mind your G.D. business about, that's what! This is sweet. It's a different sweet than "1,000,000 sugar" sweet. It just tastes like honey which tastes sweet. It's a bit of a mental thing. As far as the "citrus vanilla" goes., yeah, that's there lighter in the mix. It's certainly a honey base but it does have notes of citrus and vanilla. I don't know how they do it. It's not thick at all. It's "like water" but tastes like honey. A drinkable honey for those of you cosplayers who go to Winnie The Pooh conventions but don't want to get your $1900 costume all sticky before the inevitably sex party afterwards aptly named "The Piglet Roast."

As sweet as this is, the whole (tiny) bottle is only 70 calories. This was generously sent to us but if I saw it in the wild, I would buy it. It's nice. A+. Quick shipping. Would buy from again.

Website
http://https://www.blumehoneywater.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Honey
Categories
Juice, Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 7th, 2018
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Lifeway Elixir Hibiscus

Lifeway Elixir Hibiscus

I learned today that hibiscus is often used in rituals to protect against evil, invoke divination, and clairvoyance. You would think with the amount of hibiscus I consume and the fact that several people have told me that my house looks like it should be somewhere a fortune teller runs their business, that I would be in the know of that information. Well, I suppose I am now and that makes me love it even more.

This is the most “pink” tasting beverage that I’ve ever tried. You know there are flavors that you associate with blue, orange, and purple that aren’t necessarily the flavor of the fruit they pretend to be and instead have just become the flavor of the color? Well this should be the taste associated with pink, and for an added bonus it isn’t even overly sweet. It’s sweetened, but not in a mouth rot kind of way. This is not a spiced hibiscus, so if you were hoping for that you will be disappointed, but then excited once you realize that it may not be what you had wanted, but it’s pretty great in its own way. It is simultaneously both vaguely floral and vaguely fruity.

My only complaint is that it is the lightest carbonation I have ever had in a beverage. My ladyfriend says she loves it that way because more bubbles would detract from the flavor. To me it feels like it’s about to go flat. That didn’t stop me from getting a great deal of enjoyment from it though.

Website
http://lifewaykefir.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 4th, 2018
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