FunctionALOE Defense Grape

FunctionALOE Defense Grape

I picked this up at my local co-op because it was being discontinued, which means either I won't be able to find it again or it's really gross and that is why no one is buying it. In either case, I couldn't pass it up. So far, my experiences with aloe drinks have been very positive. As I was shaking the bottle, I noticed the bottom was stained brown from the contents inside. This terrified me. After opening the bottle, I noticed a lot of tea like flakes floating inside. This also took me by surprise, but then the pleasant fruity (mostly grape) smell hit me. This made my fears go away, and rightfully so.

The grape taste in this is really good and tart. What I thought was tea, is actually pulp from the aloe vera. This was not only a relief but pretty delicious. I love how the tart flavor is consistent throughout the drink. It's been a while since I’ve had a good tart drink. They also had a lemon flavor of this at the co-op, I really hope it's still there when I go back.

Website
http://www.lilyofthedesert.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Aloe Vera, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on February 23rd, 2011
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Function Aloe Defense Grape 16.20 Ounces

Frostie Root Beer

Frostie Root Beer

This is my first go at Frostie Root Beer. It's a brand I've heard of since I was a kid. It's a classic in the world of root beers. The logo is iconic. I have friends that have Frostie paraphernalia hanging in their houses. I've always wanted to try it, but they don't have it around Buffalo, and I never saw it in my travels. Our friend Dan picked it up for me on a drive down to Florida. Now here I sit with my first bottle of Frostie. I like it. I really do. I didn't have high hopes. I was expecting a pretty run of the mill root beer. It is a pretty safe root beer, but it falls on the better side of average. It's very creamy. I mean really creamy with a lot of foam. It's not a gourmet drink, but it doesn't taste like root beer candy either. It's kind of a root beer of it's own kind. I'm kind of bummed that it's going to be quite some time before I can have this again.

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EDIT
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I finally got my hands on a cane sugar version of this. It was even better than the one I previously reviewed. It was in fact probably the best "normal" root beer I have ever had. It wasn't micro brewed or anything. It doesn’t have anything wacky in it. It was just the best of the best when it comes to the style of A&W and Dads. If you ever see one, don't even hesitate to pick it up.

Website
http://www.frostie.biz/
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Root Beer, Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 23rd, 2011
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Frostie ROOT BEER - "Frostie Man... Frostie!", 12-Ounce Glass Bottle (Pack of 12)
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Buy at SpecialtySodas.com

Simpson Spring Lemon Lime

Simpson Spring Lemon Lime

Up until now, every lemon lime soda I've ever had was clear. I like that this one is green. It's a really nice shade of green too. It's Ecto-Cooler green, easily one of my favorite shades of green. Can you tell green is my favorite color?

This is a pretty basic lemon lime soda with no frills. It's smooth and delicious, and tastes a lot better than 7-Up or Sprite. I don't know if it's in my subconscious due to the color, but it taste more lime than lemon. Now that I think of it, I don't know how one could make lemon lime soda with frills. I think it would probably ruin how classic it is. Then again, I probably thought that about root beer at one point.

Website
http://www.simpsonspring.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar and/or Dextrose and Fructose
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on February 24th, 2011
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Guayaki Yerba Mate Pure Endurance (Citrus Tereré)

Guayaki Yerba Mate Pure Endurance (Citrus Tereré)

Yerba Mate is a tea all of it's own. It has such a specific taste that just always pops out at you. This style of tea should also always have a leopard on the bottle. Why? Leopards are awesome, that’s why. Look at that thing. Is it smiling, or does it just want to rip you in half? It's the secret of the leopard. I would totally ride that thing around like in Harold and Kumar (I don't care what the world thinks, that movie is hilarious). I'd pick up Mike and the two of us would ride around from bodega to bodega looking for drinks. Sure we might have to buy the leopard a Gatorade once and a while, but he too will be a Thirsty Dude.
Guayaki knows how to blend their mate with other flavors. The citrus in this balances out the bitterness of the tea perfectly. It's not overly sweet or bitter, just a nice happy medium with a tangerine twinge. You know who loves tangerines? That leopard and I. Shibby.

Website
http://www.guayaki.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 24th, 2011
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Guayaki 19387 Ready to Drink Organic Pure Endurance
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Buy at SpecialtySodas.com

Granny Squibb's Mojito/Lime Tea

Granny Squibb's Mojito/Lime Tea

Last spring I was on tour in the UK. After our show in Manchester some friends took me out to a couple of clubs. Even though I don't drink alcohol I've been to a decent amount of bars in my time. Most of the time they can be pretty depressing places in a sober state, but every once in awhile things just fall in line and it's a lot of fun. This was one of those nights. You may be asking yourself what someone like myself has for a beverage of choice in a bar. Is it water? Coke? No my friends. When I go out I ask the bartender for a mix of cranberry juice and 7Up. A lot of the time this is either followed by a strange look and some smart-ass comment. I don't care the drink is delicious. So back to Manchester. We get to our first bar of the night and I head up to order my trusty beverage when I notice there is a list of non-alcoholic mixed drinks they serve. Suddenly this night became even better. The first thing on the list was a Mojito. I was floored.

Now time for a back-story inside of a back-story. The year before this event we were down in Athens, GA. Walking around town. Checking it all out. We're walking by the outside patio of a bar and sitting there is Mike Mills from R.E.M. (my favorite band of all time, I don't care if that makes me a nerd). Guess what he's drinking? If you said a Mojito give yourself a fist bump. I'm not one to get all fan boy, but I did engage in a quick, slightly embarrassing conversation with him.

Back to the first back-story. So yeah I had never had a Mojito. Mike Mills was drinking one. I decided that is what I would choose from the list. I made a wise choice. It was delicious. Mint and Lime are a great combination.

This is a different sort of drink. It's Mojito mixed with tea. That means it's instantly improved. Mint in tea tastes like you're chewing gum while drinking tea. It's a sad fact the world needs to accept. When you add lime to the mix, it's a whole new player. The gum factor is out the window and you’re on a sailboat to the Isle of Refreshment. This time that boat just happens to be captained by Granny Squibb. She definitely knows how to handle that vessel.

Website
http://www.grannysquibb.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Pure Cane Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 26th, 2011
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Zuberfizz Orange Cream Soda

Zuberfizz Orange Cream Soda

What can be said about orange cream soda that we haven't said before? We all know it tastes like a carbonated melted creamsicle. But wait. What is this? This has actual orange juice in it. That is something new. It still has the insane amount of creaminess of the previously mentioned creamsicles, but the orange juice adds a new dimension. It's as if Orangina was mixed in with the creamiest off cream sodas. A pleasant surprise indeed.

Website
http://www.zuberfizz.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Pure Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 27th, 2011
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Zuber Creamy Orange Cream Soda (Pack of 12)

California Garden Mixed Fruit

California Garden Mixed Fruit

Ohhhh Bethany, this has chunks in it. Why would you give me something with chunks in it? You know I don't like chunky. I like smooth. I like my peanut butter smooth. I like my spaghetti sauce smooth. I like my jazz smooth. I especially like my drinks smooth. Honest to goodness, Beth, why would you give me this? If I wanted something with chunks in it, don't you think that I would have let you know years ago? We've been married 17 years and you've never known me, even a little bit, to go against the grain. I'm an accountant. I drive a base model Toyota Camry. I only own black and dark navy suits and white and light blue dress shirts. I have three ties and two of them are navy. I eat my sandwiches with the crusts cut off. Chunks, Bethany?! You know what? I will take another sip of it because I see that you're getting attached to these strongly rooted opinions that I have on my lifestyle.

On second though...yeah...on second though this isn't so bad. It's a very good fruit taste, and those chunks are just chunks of real fruit, so it's not that far fetched. It's just like eating a really juicy watermelon but a mixed fruit flavored watermelon. There is even a nice buzz that your lips get from the tang of the real fruit. You know what, baby? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to take it out on you. This is actually a wonderfully delicious drink that I could see myself drinking again.

Bethany, here's $20. Go to the local Indian market, buy a mixed case of this stuff and meet me in the Camry. We're driving with the sunroof open today!

Website
http://www.californiagarden.com
Country
Lebanon
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Chunky, Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 27th, 2011
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Lipton PureLeaf Raspberry

Lipton PureLeaf Raspberry

Can we all be honest here for a moment? Let's all just admit that the Lipton Brisk line was one of the biggest blunders in the history of tea. Sure it probably made them millions of dollars, but at what cost? A world of children now think that iced tea is actually just sugar water. Seriously brisk doesn't even taste like iced tea. It's just some ghetto sugar drink. It's something you should find in gallon containers at your local mini mart. I need to sit down and look at the ingredients, but I bet there's not actual tea in it at all. Ugh!

Brisk had me turned off from Lipton for years. Yesterday while hiking we stopped at a small town gas station for refreshments. They had one of the worst selections of drinks I've ever seen, but hey it was a very, very small town, so I can't really expect much. I saw this, and I decided to give it a try. I think it may have been the only drink in the place that didn't have HFCS in it. I didn't even see any bottled water there. So I begrudgingly bought this bottle of Lipton PureLeaf. I now have a renewed interest in their company. It's still pretty sweet, but it doesn't taste like sugar water. It actually has tea in it, and that is evident in the flavor. It also has a classic raspberry tea flavor. It was definitely something I enjoyed after a few hours hiking in the snow and watching a cow run full speed. If you have never seen a cow run, you my friend are missing something spectacular.

Website
http://lipton.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 28th, 2011
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Faygo Draft Style Root Beer

Faygo Draft Style Root Beer

In the movie Pretty In Pink, Duckie eventually gets the girl. You didn't think he would. Face it. What did he have to offer? Sure, he was a bit charismatic, but that's about it. He wasn't much to look at, and at best he was a dweeb. He knew music. That was another thing. That whole sing-along in the record store was absurd and if I were a girl, I would have written him off for a lifetime. Molly Ringwald, though, she's a forgiving and understanding girl.

This root beer is like Duckie in that I thought it was going to suck, but was actually pretty good. It has a pretty good, honest rooty root beer taste. No, I'm not saying "rooty root" to be cute. If it's cute, I apologize. I just did my best at describing it. I think it's pretty on par to root beer barrels, which I like.

Dearest Duckie/Jon Cryer,
I'm sorry that your show got canceled. It wasn't your fault. I didn't have a taste for it, but you brought laughter to the hearts of millions night after night (due to syndication) and you did a good job. Now twice. Congratulations on spreading happiness through multiple decades.

Website
http://www.faygo.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Root Beer, Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 1st, 2011
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Faygo Root Beer, 2 Liter Bottle

Coco Loto Passion Fruit Juice

Coco Loto Passion Fruit Juice

If I had to use one word to describe this drink it would be "hammock." It's the kind of drink you should be sipping while gently swaying in a hammock outside of your private bungalow on a tropical island. The salty sea breeze cooling the sweat on your brow as your monkey butler comes out to refill your glass and fan you with giant palm leaves. That monkey sure knows how to make a good juice. Even his tiny primate brain understands that a pure passion fruit juice would be way to harsh to enjoy. He watered it down a little bit, added a dash of sugar, and put it on ice. It's strong and sweet just the way you like it. Now lay back down and let the sound of those waves lull you to sleep.

Website
http://www.cocoloto.com/
Country
Thailand
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 1st, 2011
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