Bolthouse Farms Amazing Mango

Bolthouse Farms  Amazing Mango

Mike informed me the other day that for the first time in his life he had recently eaten a mango. I don't know what I was more shocked about, that he hadn't had such a wonderful fruit for 27 years, or that he said it was "gross sauce." Okay, maybe he didn't say gross sauce, but I'm allowed to paraphrase here. You're not the boss of me!

Mango is delicious. Few fruits are better. It may be a sloppy fruit to eat in its natural state, but the sticky face and hands are worth the happy tongue it leaves you with. Bolthouse Farms knows how great the mango is, so they gave it a drink all of it's own. Sure there is a blend of other juices mixed in, but mango has the starring role in this Broadway play of taste. You can definitely notice some orange juice mixed in for the aftertaste, but I'm not complaining. With 100% juice and no sugar added, there is very little to complain about here. Well-played Bolthouse. Well played.

Website
http://bolthouse.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Naturally Sweetened
Categories
Juice, Smoothie
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 28th, 2011
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Milligan's Island Awesome Root Beer

Milligan's Island Awesome Root Beer

The name doesn't lie. This truly is "Awesome Root Beer." It's nice and creamy. Smooth like. It's also not crazily carbonated, which is a nice change of pace.

My only real question is, why does it say "Cane Sugar or High Fructose Corn Sweetener"? Do they really vary their recipe from batch to batch? I'm 99% certain I have a cane sugar version here.

I also love the label. It looks like it was drawn with colored pencils, which holds a certain charm for me. It also brings about the conversations of all time top five desert islands (fill in the blank). You know, these conversations that nerds like myself have all the time. Typically they are about records or books. I'm going to compile my desert island list of root beers in no particular order: Virgil's Special Edition Bavarian Nutmeg, Weeping Radish, Gale's, Margo's Bark, and Sparky's. I know I will probably change this eventually, but as of now that's it right there.

Website
http://www.milligans-island.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar -or- High Fructose Corn Sweetener
Categories
Root Beer, Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 28th, 2011
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Ex Natural Calming Drink Chillout

Ex Natural Calming Drink Chillout

I don't understand how I can pass out at night as soon as my head hits the pillow; yet wake up exactly two hours later completely awake. I normally have no problems with my sleep patterns, but this has been happening for the past week or so. Last night after my sudden awakening and consequent tossing and turning, my girlfriend started talking in her sleep. She repeatedly asked me, "What's happening to the front right door?" I still don't know what she was talking about. When I asked her, "What door?" She just said, "This one." and fell into a deeper sleep. At that point I needed to fall asleep fast, so I downed this relaxation drink. I know this variety wasn't made to make me pass out, but it did help. It doesn't have melatonin in it, but the chamomile and Valerian did the trick. This tasted like carbonated Vitamin Water, specifically the guava one (which doesn't really taste like guava). I say thank you Ex. You made my nights sleep a lot better.

Website
http://www.exdrinks.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Fructose, Glucose, Sucrose
Categories
Relaxation
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 29th, 2011
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Ex Drinks Ex Chillout, Natural Calming Drink, 8.4-Ounce Cans (Pack of 24)

Hansen's Lo-Cal Juice Cocktail Pomegranate Blackberry

Hansen's Lo-Cal Juice Cocktail Pomegranate Blackberry

Hansen's, you know what you are doing when it comes to sodas. I don't care what Derek thinks. Mike and I love you for your fizzy greatness. Your canned smoothies left a lot to be desired. In fact I think your pineapple coconut one was the first drink we ever gave a "one-bottle" review to. I know we use the phrase "barf sauce" a decent amount on here, but that smoothie literally tasted like vomit. So you are up for pop, down for soda.

Here we venture forth into your third line of drinks, juice. This here is the tiebreaker and as it turns out, you come out on the winning team. This is some pretty great juice. It's good on it's own, but the fact that it's a diet juice puts it over the top. Rebiana is a great lo-cal sweetener that doesn't have a very strong diet taste. It tastes like pomegranate and blackberry, just the way it should. I wish it was more than 35% fruit juice, but as I said for a diet beverage, this has a lot going for it.

Website
http://www.hansens.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Rebiana
Categories
Diet, Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 29th, 2011
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Hansen's Lo-Cal Pomegranate Blackberry Juice, 64-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 8)

Quick Beverages Sleep Berry Flavor

Quick Beverages Sleep Berry Flavor

My sleep habits have been absolutely terrible lately. I blame this stupid cold that I got. It started with me waking up way early for no reason, and being completely awake for a few hours before exhaustion set it. As my sickness progressed I started waking up for periods of time in the middle of the night. Last night it got to the point where I just couldn't sleep. I forgot to pick up some more cold medicine, so I downed this little guy.

I think they forgot to list all of the ingredients on the packaging. I think that because I didn't see Rohypnol listed. If you didn't know Rohypnol is the clinical name for "roofies." I feel like it has to be in there, because I was wide-awake, I drank this bottle, I laid down and the next thing I knew it was 9:30am. This was the most effective "relaxation drink" that I have had yet. I was out pretty much instantly. It's a bit diety and medicinal tasting, but since it's only a shot I can deal with that for the effects it has. It doesn't taste like toxic sludge, but it's not something I would drink due to the taste.

If you're at a bar or party and you see these little bottles lying around don't drink those drinks. No one wants to wake up in a dude bros gross bed, or worse in a tub full of ice with a note that you're kidney has been removed. Beware the dark harvest!

Website
http://www.quickbeverages.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Relaxation, Shot
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 30th, 2011
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Honest Tea Organic Mango Green Tea

Honest Tea Organic Mango Green Tea

I drank half of this bottle at work last week. I hadn't finished it by the time I left so I threw it in the fridge when I got home, and planned on finishing it later that night. During the next few hours it got lost in the sea of beverages that my refrigerator has become. It somehow resurfaced this afternoon. I guess the tide must have been low during the hours of 3 to 5.

Like most, if not all, Honest products this is made with organic tea, cane sugar and natural fruit flavor. It's a solid drink. It’s a nice bitter green tea with a slight mango flavor. It delivers what it promises. It's true, Honest Tea are no liars.

Website
http://www.honesttea.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 30th, 2011
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Honest Tea Certified Organic, Mango Green Tea, 16.9-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Real Soda Lurch Birch

Real Soda Lurch Birch

Danny at Real Soda knows how to make a quality frothy beverage. This is a top-notch birch beer with a nice amount of bite to it. For those not familiar with birch beer it is similar to root beer, but with a slightly different twist. It has a woodsier taste to it. The label design leaves something to be desired, but really that doesn't matter when you have a quality soda like this. I wish I had more to say, but I'm off to go see Off! play. Keith Morris here I come.

Website
http://www.realsoda.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Root Beer, Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 30th, 2011
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Ito En Teas' Tea Crispy Apple Black Tea

Ito En Teas' Tea Crispy Apple Black Tea

Question: Did I just eat a GD apple?
Answer: No, you stupid idiot. You just drank iced tea.

Question: No. Seriously. What is happening to me?
Answer: Well that's a bit vague, don't you think? I did notice that you're getting grays in your beard.

Answer: Yeah, and it's awesome. You can't tell me it's not going to make me look distinguished.
Question: I guess it will, but don't you think that it will make you look older?

Answer: Who cares? I look young anyway. I think I could grow an all gray beard and I would look rad as heck.
Question: Should we address this iced tea more?

Answer: What's to say? It's awesome, not terrible for you, and tastes like a friggin' apple. It might taste more like an actual apple than apple juice.

Website
http://www.itoen.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 31st, 2011
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Teas Tea, Classic Crispy Apple, Green Tea, 16.9 Oz

Simply Originals Flax Seed Green Tea Mandarin

Simply Originals Flax Seed Green Tea Mandarin

I'm just going to come out and say it in a public forum. I have a completely non-sexual man-crush on Paul Rudd. He's hysterical and just seems like he's a really rad dude. Also, he apparently loves Lungfish and other DC bands. That gets my approval. One of my favorite roles of his is Jeff from the in-between segments in the movie "The Ten." I bring this up because in that role he's fighting with his ex and they get into an argument over whether he's been taking his fish oil. Exasperated he yells that he's "getting his omega 3 fatty acids through other means." His delivery is absolutely perfect and I erupt into laughter every time I see that part. I can only imagine he's getting those fatty acids through flax seed. If I'm correct I really hope he's drinking said flax seed in this liquid form.

With all of the soda we drink I'm always pleased to get some natural teas to review, but when drinks go into new territories of healthy I will admit I get nervous. The container of flax seed that my roommate keeps in the fridge definitely made me skeptical of this. Let's face it, specialty health drinks for the most part usually aren't the greatest. I anticipated bitter. I anticipated gritty. What I didn't anticipate was a very smooth and sweet tea with a strong mandarin orange flavoring. Pleasant surprises abound! As an added bonus the label design is top notch. I'm very excited to try their other flavors.

Now I just want to watch a Paul Rudd movie. It will probably be Role Models. That never, ever gets old.

Website
http://www.simply-originals.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 31st, 2011
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Maaza Tropical

Maaza Tropical

Ahh, the tropics. I've never been. I've been to Florida, but never anywhere tropical. I feel that everything is sand, everyone drives beach buggies, everyone wears hula skirts, and there is an abundance of fresh fruit everywhere. I am certain this place exists somewhere in the geographic world. No, I will not put money on it, but I can still be certain that it's there. In the case that you can't come up with the $1,000 it takes to go there, you can probably stop over to your local grocery store and try and find this drink. Although I am second guessing some of their "tropical" fruits, the taste is pretty good. Yes, there is the dreaded banana in it, but apple, peach, and pineapple juices mask it.

If I had things my way, I would be in a palm tree, drinking this out of a coconut with a little umbrella. My straw would be made of bamboo because that sounds awesome and I would be waiting for the pig roast below to be complete so that I may eat until my heart and stomach is content. Also, if you don't know me, in this fantasy I have also given myself the ability to climb trees. In high school I had to do the rope climb and might have made it as high as I can jump and hold on. Someday I'll master that rope and as soon as I do, bon voyage.

Website
http://www.enjoymaaza.com/uk/en/home
Country
Holland
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on April 1st, 2011
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