Tazo Tazoberry

Tazo Tazoberry

For the longest time I stayed away from Tazo teas because when I first saw them I tried two different flavors and they both tasted heavily of mint. I don't remember what flavors they were exactly, but I remember thinking that there was absolutely no need for mint to be in the mix. When Mike and I were in the grocery store the other day staring at the same drinks that have been there for what now seems like forever I decided we needed to up the number of Tazo reviews. Good or bad it was our duty to write something up.

When I opened this bottle at work today I was expecting the minty worst. I took a cautionary sniff, and it was all tea and berry. Things were looking up. A tiny sip and I was relieved to find this was mint free. I did check the ingredients for mint beforehand (it wasn't there), but I swear I did that in the past and was fooled. This bottle just contains black tea, and fruit juice. It's just the way I like things. This is actually one of the better raspberry teas I've ever had. It still has a dry bitterness from the tea, but it's still sweet and tastes like actual fruit.

I have cast you aside for years Tazo and for that I apologize. This is the fourth tea of yours we have reviewed and all have gotten four bottles. I will be visiting you again shortly.

Website
http://www.tazo.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on 7/1/2011
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Tazo Tea 25856 Tazoberry Iced Tea

Zico Pure Premium Coconut Water Natural

Zico Pure Premium Coconut Water Natural

It's been months now since the Robbins family got stranded on the desert island (yes there is only one on the face of this planet). Margie, the mother of the group, has created an ingenious system where she boils the seawater with a plastic tarp over it so that the water evaporated away from the salt and the steam traveled down the tarp into a separate container to make it drinkable. While she insured their survival with her scientific skills, all they had to drink was bland, slightly salty water. Their thoughts constantly floated to the idea of fancy sodas, even a jug of ghetto tea would be a dream come true. Alas, all they have is mom's water.

Then one day the kids were out on my beach. Sally, the daughter, was leaning against a tree reading the autobiography of Steve Guttenberg, because it's the only book they have on the island. Bobby was bored, as young boys on desert islands tend to be so he decided to torment Sally. He started off with a rousing game of repeating everything Sally said, but as she was reading that didn't really work. Then he switched over to "I'm not touching you." Unfortunately Sally was so engrossed in a chapter about Three Men and a Little Lady that she didn't even notice. Finally as an act of desperation he started shaking the tree violently to get some sort of reaction out of her. She glanced up annoyed, and just as Bobby was about to celebrate a coconut fell from the tree and cracked him right in the skull. That of course set Sally into a fit of giggles until she noticed that the coconut had cracked open and a liquid was dribbling out. She put some on her finger and tasted it. It was kind of sweet, and very tasty. She pried the coconut open a little more and drank the juice that was inside. It wasn't the best thing she ever had, but it sure beat mom's water. Once Bobby woke up they fashioned him a helmet and had him shake trees all the livelong day so they could have fresh coconut water.

I'm no longer going to talk about my past feelings on coconut water. I have been converted and this is one of the best bottles I've had yet. If you're hot and parched, crack open an ice cold bottle and enjoy the summer.

Website
http://www.zico.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Naturally Sweetened
Categories
Coconut
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on 7/2/2011
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ZICO Pure Premium Coconut Water, Natural, 14-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Jackson Hole Snake River Sarsaparilla

Jackson Hole Snake River Sarsaparilla

Sheriff: Son, I'm going to have to ask you to not dump all of that chemical waste into our fair Snake River.

Jimmy the Dumper: Screw you cop! My daddy is paying me five American dollars to do this for him.

Sheriff: Son, if you keep talking that way I'm going to have to place you under arrest for violating some sort of environmental law, and well for hurting my feelings.

Jimmy the Dumper: Wait a minute! You're in cut off shorts, crocs, and an FBI (Female Body Inspector) shirt. You're not a real cop!

Sheriff: Son, I have a bottle cap from a Jackson Hole soda that looks like a badge of some sort that proves otherwise. Now if you'll please come quietly we'll get this all sorted out back at the station.

Jimmy the Dumper: You mean that creepy shed behind your house? Screw this I'm out of here. *He then pushes over the sheriff and dumps the rest of the waste on him, ensuring that his daddy will give him the five dollars he so deserves to go buy some chew down at Art's Dairy Bar.*


The moral of this story is don't be a chump. Drinking Jackson Hole does not make you a law official, but it does mean that you have great taste. All of their sodas have gotten outstanding marks here at Thirsty Dudes. Their sarsaparilla is no different. It tastes like the darkest, heaviest root beer I have ever tried. When it's in your mouth it taste more like a root beer than other sarsaparilla's I've had, but as I said in a unique way. After you swallow, the aftertaste is pure sarsaparilla. That's the way things should be.

On a final note:
Dear Jackson Hole,
Please start distributing your sodas to Buffalo, NY as soon as possible. You're from Wyoming. There is a Buffalo in Wyoming. Pretend that's where you're sending it and send it to New York instead. We really need you in our lives on a more constant basis.
Sincerely,
The City of Buffalo

Website
http://jacksonholesoda.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Root Beer, Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on 7/3/2011
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Kiri Ginger Ale

Kiri Ginger Ale

Jay has a certain love for ginger that not many have. Sure, many of us enjoy ginger ale, but if you've ever had real ginger, you know that it doesn't taste much like ginger at all. Ginger ale has a taste all it's own and unless you get a certain kind, they all just taste...well like "ginger ale".

So Jay has recently started putting ginger that you would get on sushi on his tacos, and although you might be saying "Eww, gross. Jay, that's gross." you might want to try it because it adds a pretty nice flavor, and I'm not a huge fan of pickled ginger. I love a good ginger beer and I love a good ginger ale, but ginger in itself, eh.

So Kiri. This is some pretty remarkable stuff. They really do things differently up North, in America's Hat. This tastes just like real ginger and if you are a fan of that idea, travel on up there, or somewhere online, and get yourself a bottle of this stuff because it's good. No burn, but a consistent, clean ginger taste. It took my by surprise and I thought it was going to be just another ginger ale. I like when I'm wrong.

Website
http://www.kiri.com/en/
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Ginger, Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on 7/4/2011
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Sangaria Tubumi Grape

Sangaria Tubumi Grape

Gene you’ve done a great job here with this white grape juice. It has a great flavor and nice carbonation. Wait…what? It’s not carbonated? I guess it’s just that good that my mind somehow imagined the bubbles. Let me take another sip. You’re right it’s not. Why on Earth did I think it was?

Now Gene this is great but as you know us here at Sangaria are trying to take the company in a “green” direction. You know, reduce our waste and all. We’ve been getting in a lot of trouble with the government as of late. Is there anything you can think of to help us out? Wait you want us to put the remainders of the grapes in the drink? That’s just plain weird Gene. Who would want to drink that? Okay find I’ll try it. This actually isn’t too bad. My only complaint is that the grapes could be peeled. You have a machine that will do that? Where do you get those wonderful toys? This is going to be perfect. It’s a wonderful tasting white grape juice with whole peeled grapes thrown in to make drinking fun again. Kids are going to have a hay day and you Gene are going to have an awesome compost pile with all of those grape peels. I told you we had to get rid of waste, so now you have to take them home. Enjoy.

Website
http://www.sangariausa.com/
Country
Japan
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Chunky, Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on 7/5/2011
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Caramba! Guayaba Guava Soda

Caramba! Guayaba Guava Soda

My ladyfriend bought this a while ago and I have been patiently waiting for her to decide the time was right to drink it. Yesterday that time finally arrived during a BBQ at a friend's house (which I nearly helped burned down via a box of fireworks and a stray spark).

While the soda was very tasty it did not actually taste like guava. It has a very familiar deliciously fruity taste that I could not place, but it definitely wasn't guava. Tropical? Yes. That specific tropical flavor? No.

I really wish this had been made with cane sugar. I believe that would have been the little push this soda needed to make it spectacular.

Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on 7/5/2011
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Rubicon Guava

Rubicon Guava

In the wild world of Canada, there are live exotic fruits. It's true. You don't believe me? Take a trip up to Toronto. While you're there, go do yourself a favor and go to "Fifty Toppings Guy". It's a hot dog cartman on the corner of Queen and Spadina who has wonderful veggie and non-veggie dogs. I'm assuming that you've got a satchel or a fanny pack or something to carry your exotic fruits in, so I am not even going to address it. So once you get past the Eaton Centre, up on your left is a jungle. Ask James, the night watchman, if you can go in. You know the secret hand gesture, right? That's right. It's the same one as the Van Buren Boys hand signal that George Costanza used to save his life. Once James lets you in, get your shoving arms ready because it's a madhouse in there. The pushing and shoving, you would think you were in one of those Filene's "Running of the Brides" events.

Wait, did I tell you that all the exotic juices are in juice box format? Ooops. Sorry. Did you think that it was just fruit hanging off of trees? Are you kidding? Passionfruit, Guava, and all that other good stuff doesn't grow in Toronto. They have to package it up so that it doesn't get damaged when dropped, and since you're going to be fighting your way through said juice, you'd better have a nice, cardboard carrying case around it.

Whilt pushing fat men and skinny ladies, fight your way over to the Rubicon table to grab some of their guava, or as they like to say "goyave". It's pretty close to the bare essentials of what guava is all about. Water, guava pulp, and sugar and then some preservatives and stabilizers to keep it from surprising you with a straw full of brown juice. Oh man, the thought of that makes me want to puke. It's a little gritty like nectar and just the right amount of sweetness so you don't get cavities and probably get some sort of legitimate nutrition. Your mom would be proud, but don't show her that you got your school clothes dirty because some angry woman just pushed you in the dirt so she could get her grubby, rather large hands on the pineapple juice boxes.

Website
http://www.rubiconexotic.com/
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on 7/6/2011
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Rubicon Guava Exotic Juice Drink (4 juice boxes)

Brazil Gourmet Premium Nectar Guava

Brazil Gourmet Premium Nectar Guava

All three of us have reviewed a guava drink today; so let it be known that July 6th, 2011 will now be known as Guava Day. I, for one, welcome our new guava overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted blog personality, I could be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.

They have bestowed onto me a bottle of guava nectar to sample. I don’t think I’ve ever had a guava nectar drink and I must say it’s quite good. It’s not as thick as other nectars I have had, but that’s a good thing. I often find nectar to be way too thick and hard to drink. This is the consistency of a juice/nectar mix and it’s perfect.

**Disclaimer: this review was in no way influenced, edited, or forced by the almighty guava overlords.**

Website
http://www.brazilgourmet.com/pages/home.htm
Country
Brazil
Sweetener
Evaporated Cane Juice
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on 7/6/2011
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Brazil Gourmet Guava Nectar case of 6/10oz Bottles

Xing Tea Green Tea With Lemon

Xing Tea Green Tea With Lemon

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I watched one episode of Miami Vice and I think that I could wear shoes and no socks like Don Johnson. It's not like I'm going to wear trainers and just sweat up the joint. I'm going to wear loafers or something. Obviously I've got to do some research into what Mr. Johnson wore. I mean, what a cool dude and what a classic look and summer? Come on. Who wants to wear socks anyhow?

While I'm walking around, wearing no socks and some killer loafers, I would most definitely be slurping on this can of Xing green tea with lemon because it's wonderful. It's a great mixture of flavors through and through. You can taste the green tea first and then, when you're done swallowing, you get a really good lemon taste. There's Arizona lemon tea, and that's all well and good, but this is something that you can tell Don Johnson about.

Hey, Don! You might want to give this a try. It's good. Oh, you don't know who this is? It's Mike from Thirsty Dudes. Thirsty Dudes? It's a drink review site. You still don't know? That's alright. Hey, two things...what do you think of this tea? It's great, right? Second, what shoes did you wear in that episode of Miami Vice where your God kid's dad, your friend from 'Nam was into all that bad stuff? They looked comfortable. Wait, Don...where are you going?

Website
http://www.drinkxingtea.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Pure Cane Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on 7/7/2011
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Calypso Organics Limeade

Calypso Organics Limeade

Listen Cindy, I know you really wanted to have a lemonade stand today, but the truth of the matter is you plumb used up all of the lemons in the house yesterday. All we have left is a handful of limes that your stuck up older sister uses in her Mojitos. I don't think those would be what you want. I've been meaning to ask you, what did you do with eight dozens lemons? I'm catering a party for the Shemkovitz's this weekend and you know how they love lemons in their water. Yes I know you made lemonade to sell, but what did you do with the rest of them? You sold it all and you now have $137? Wow! People said they would be back today for more? Well I guess we better give these limes a go then! Hmmm. This actually isn't bad. It's really tart, but it tastes exactly like it should; lemonade with limes instead of lemons. No I don't think we should add more sugar. The tartness has a charm to it. You're sister is going to be so mad at us for using her limes. Hopefully your customers will love it. Oh honey your father wanted me to ask you if you knew where his records went. You what!?!?! You gave them away with the lemonade?!?!? Do you know how much some of those early 45's were worth? Looks like someone isn't going to college anymore.

Website
http://www.kingjuice.com/
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Lemonade
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on 7/7/2011
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Calypso LIMEADE "It's like Harry Belafonte went British or something!", 20-Ounce Glass Bottle (Pack of 12)
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