Crystal Geyser Juice Squeeze Passion Fruit & Mango

Crystal Geyser Juice Squeeze Passion Fruit & Mango

I decided that I was done reviewing drinks on my trip. I had emptied out the fridge in my hotel room, and we get on our flight in a few hours. I felt like I had drunk a good cross section of the local drink delicacies. Then I stumbled upon this. When I had one of these the other day it was one of my favorite drinks I had on the island. That coupled with it being passion fruit and mango left me little choice. I said to myself "self you must have this!"

This is even better than the mixed berry one. 70% juice with no sweeteners added. It’s absolutely incredible. Neither of the fruits are too overpowering, but they are present and flavorful. It’s a true taste of the tropics. This is made in CA, so hopefully it will make it's way out east for me to enjoy on a regular basis.

Website
http://www.crystalgeyser.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Naturally Sweetened
Categories
Juice, Sparkling
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on May 1st, 2011
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Bai Antioxidant Infusion Jamaica Blueberry

Bai Antioxidant Infusion Jamaica Blueberry

Recently I got to tour a coffee plantation. After trying Bai I was pumped to see (and try) coffee fruit. Unfortunately it wasn't the season for the fruit, so they weren't ripe yet. Of course that didn't stop me from picking what was available from the plants and the ground. Here is what I discovered: A) Not ripe coffee fruit just tastes like your run of the mill plant you would pull out of the ground. B) The dried out fruit on the ground tastes like old wood. Both were gross.

Bai apparently knows the proper time to harvest their coffee fruit because this does not taste anything like a poinsettia or some old Amish furniture. It's sweet, fruity and the stuff dreams are made out of. This really tastes like I mashed up a whole mess of blueberries and filtered out all the seeds and chunks. Do you realize how many blueberries that would take? I bet at least a five-gallon bucket of them would be needed to fill this bottle. Bai means business. Don't forget that. Ever.

Website
http://www.drinkbai.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Evaporated Cane Juice
Categories
Coffee, Juice
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on May 6th, 2011
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Bai Jamaica Blueberry Juice, 16.9-Ounce (Pack of 12)

Simply Originals Antioxidants Chicha Morada

Simply Originals Antioxidants Chicha Morada

Corn is by far my favorite vegetable. There are others that I may enjoy, but those other vegetables just aren't as versatile. Sure asparagus is delicious when it's cooked in garlic, but would it work on a burrito or in chili? Okay, I would probably eat that and think it's great. My point is that corn is incredible on it's own with no seasoning, but it also can make almost any meal better. One of the many important life lessons that I learned from Pee Wee's Big Adventure is that there are thousands and thousands of uses for corn, and Tina from the Alamo would be happy to list them all for you. Corn in salsa? Oh god yes. I feel cheated when it's not in there. Through my mass consumption of corn I have never once considered drinking it. That is until this magic bottle of goodness ended up in my possession.

It's Fall. Everyone has their decorations hanging up. A lot of people have dried out colored corn on their walls and doors. As a kid I always wondered why people used to paint their corn. I was little and an idiot. I am now less of an idiot and know that it grows that way. Being as I was an idiot when I was young (how many times can I say that in a review?) I of course tried to eat the colored corn. Bad scene. It does not taste like the corn I am used to, especially since it's all dried out. I later became to associate that corn with what was fed to animals. Now Simply Originals has come around to yet again throw my world into upheaval. They have turned the purple corn, or maize, into a very refreshing beverage.

In Peru chicha morada is a traditional homemade drink. I will tell you this for free: the people of Peru know what they are doing when it comes to beverages. One of their great ancestors was thirsty as hell some hot summer day. He was tired of all of the water he was consuming and decided to mix everything he had laying around the house into a bottle and drink it down. It's lucky for us that he only had water, purple maize, sugar, pineapple, clove and cinnamon. Imagine if he had some meat juice laying around. I assure you if that were the case I would have vomited all over this keyboard. Nobody wants that, especially my keyboard. Seeing as he didn't have meat juice he created (maybe it was a lady of Peru and not a man. The gender was lost a long time ago) what it a refreshing harvest time drink. After a long day of sweating out in the Peruvian corn fields wouldn't it be nice to come home and have your significant other pour you a nice tall glass of corn juice? If you said no, you are horribly mistaken.

I do have this one negative thing to still say about corn. Like Mrs. Tremond in Twin Peaks I will always request no creamed corn. I have a thing with textures.

Website
http://www.simply-originals.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Juice, Other/Weird
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on May 10th, 2011
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Ito En Teas' Tea Pure Green

Ito En Teas' Tea Pure Green

So the Teavana ad keeps popping up when I load our site. I have to say their tea is delicious. Possibly the best I've ever had. To be fair I haven't had much loose-leaf tea in my life, but the types I've had from there are over the top good. They have tea that has been picked by trained monkeys (Okay I think it was just a story about a monkey picking tea, but for the sake of the review let's pretend it's their tea that is monkey picked). Having a trained monkey would be pretty rad. At first I think I'd have him run errands for me, but eventually I would probably just hang out with him and play Uno or something. If I were ever in Japan I'd sure as hell have that little bugger pick me some tealeaves.

The leaves Teas' Tea uses may not be picked by monkeys, but it is pretty pure tasting. It's all natural and unsweetened. It's water, green tea and ascorbic acid (vitamin c). In the world of unsweetened green tea it doesn't get much better than this. Lucky for us Big Lots got a bunch in and they are blowing them out for $1 a bottle (they are normally about $4). I will be drinking this all day at work for weeks to come. Now how do I acquire a monkey, and then how do I train it?

Website
http://www.itoen.com/
Country
Japan
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on May 18th, 2011
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Ito En Teas' Tea Pure Green, Pure Green Tea, 16.9-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Smart Juice Organic Pomegranate

Smart Juice Organic Pomegranate

Organic pomegranate juice is the only thing contained in this bottle. It's the way god, or whoever, planned for juice to be served. I love pure juice. No sweeteners or preservative added. Nothing is reconstituted. It is just mashed fruit with all of the solids strained out. It's insanely strong and tart, but why mess with a pomegranate unless that's your desired effect. For those of you who have lived under a rock for the past ten years awaiting the upcoming rapture (that didn't happen), I will now describe what pomegranate juice tastes like. It is darker than the darkest purple grape. It is actually similar to a purple grape juice, but 100% more concentrated. It also has a certain dryness on your tongue. Overall it's very enjoyable, but it's not something that you can drink a lot of in one sitting. The Folks at Smart Juice are not dummies. If they were their company would be named Dumb Juice. As a result they have these nice little 8.4oz bottles of juice. It's just enough for a little treat.

Website
http://www.smartjuice.us
Country
Turkey
Sweetener
Naturally Sweetened
Categories
Juice
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on May 25th, 2011
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Smart Juice Organic Pomegranate Juice ( 6x33.8 OZ)

Woongjin Green Plum

Woongjin Green Plum

A drink is good when you don't want to stop drinking it. A drink is good when you want a fifty-five gallon drum of it. A drink is good when you take your first sip and it leaves you speechless. This drink is good. It's like an apple juice with a kick, but the kicker is not wearing shoes and between the toes is something tangy, and you want more. It's a strange foot fetish type scenario, but dude, you can't help it.

Why such a small can? Woongjin aren't a gaggle of idiots. They know that you'll be back. If they made them larger, you would only buy one. This stuff is fantastic. It's better than the best apple juice you've ever had because it's apple juice plus.

You have to like it. I put my name on it. I was thinking on my way into work that I haven't given a 5 in a while. This deserves it.

Website
http://www.wjfood.com/
Country
Korea
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 27th, 2011
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Jackson Hole High Mountain Huckleberry

Jackson Hole High Mountain Huckleberry

"The thing about huckleberries is, once you've had fresh, you'll never go back to canned..." Well Nelson, I can't say if that's true or not, as this marks my first experience with huckleberries at all. That is a lie I suppose. I do have some history with Huckleberry Hound and Huckleberry Finn, but I've never tasted either of them and I will make a pledge this self same day to never do so. There, are you happy now?

As far as I knew, until today, huckleberries were some archaic fruit that had long since gone extinct. The olde-timey picture on the label does nothing but support that idea. As it turns out the fruit still flourishes, but has gone out of vogue. The fine folks at Jackson Hole understand that this is nothing more than a hate crime against the fruit world. As a result they are taking it back.

Every Jackson Hole soda we've had so far has been spectacular and they just stepped up their game with this one. This and the Thomas Kemper Bumble Berry sodas stand as the two best fruit sodas that have ever graced my taste buds. High Mountain Huckleberry is reminiscent of a Shirley Temple made with high quality berries instead of grenadine. It's sweet and fruity in all of the right ways. I had assumed that huckleberries were a specific subset of raspberries, but a quick internet search informed me that they were closer to the blueberry. Whatever they are they are completely incredible and I now must search out the actual fruit. Even if it requires I complete the time machine I've been building in my attic.

Website
http://jacksonholesoda.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on May 29th, 2011
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Simply Orange Country Stand Medium Pulp

Simply Orange Country Stand Medium Pulp

All of us here at Thirsty Dudes are huge fans of The Best Show on WFMU. It is a radio show based out of NJ, but available world wide, so don't call it local! The host of the show is the wonderful Tom Scharpling. He entertains the world via radio for three hours every Tuesday night. It is one of the funniest things I've ever listened to. Guests like Paul F Tompkins, Ted Leo, Patton Oswalt, Todd Barry and many others a frequent. If you are a fan of hilarity I suggest you check it out.

Okay now that the plug is over, on with the story. Last week I finally worked up the courage to call into the show to talk to Tom about Thirsty Dudes. The mush state of my mouth was discussed and then when asked for suggestions on things to review Tom told me orange juice. Who am I to argue? So here's your orange juice review.

Simply puts out nothing but high quality beverages as far as I've tasted. It so happens that all three of us purchased and reviewed a Simply drink in the past two days. All of them got high marks. They don't mess around with adding extra ingredients to their juices. They know with something like this it's best to keep things.....simple. I have to say this is the best orange juice (minus some the was fresh squeezed) that I have ever had. It doesn't taste old or weird like a lot of carton orange juices do. There is a decent amount of pulp in it, which is a bonus in my world. I don't care what my friend Kevyn says. Pulp does not make a drink seem like you're imbibing dirty dishwater. It makes it seem like your eating the actual fruit, minus the annoying peeling session. How does everyone else start to peel and orange? I always bite the skin a little, but then I get a spray of the gross bitter peel in my mouth. It almost makes it not worth it. Give me advice people!

Website
http://www.simplyorangejuice.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Naturally Sweetened
Categories
Juice
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on June 1st, 2011
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Calypso Teamonade Blueberry Tea & Natural Lemonade

Calypso Teamonade Blueberry Tea & Natural Lemonade

Recently I've been on a winning streak with blueberry drinks. If I were Clark W Griswold I would grab the $27 that I had in my wallet, go to the nearest casino and place a $26 bet on the "Pick a Fruit" game that they will undeniably have (I'd need to save the extra dollar for bus fare home). Everything would come up Griswold. Rusty would finally look up to me. I would be the man I always wanted to be. Then for some inexplicable reason I would change my bet and put it all on crappy durian. Who would ever pick durian? It smells like vomit! The wheel would spin, slow down, land on durian and then at the last second flip one more space and land on blueberry again. I would be broke with only my bus fare home. Oh wait I used that to tip that pretty waitress that looked like a model from the 80's. It's a sad time in the life of a man who just loves to vacation.

I (Clark) would be crushed, but blueberry would reign supreme, just like it does in this drink. When you open the bottle it's like shoving your nose in a bushel of fresh picked berries. The tea and lemonade are at perfect levels, with the blueberry just a touch higher in the mix. It's tart, sweet and fruity all in one. I don't know if the world of "Arnold Palmers" gets better than this.

Website
http://www.kingjuice.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea, Lemonade
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on June 1st, 2011
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Vintage Soda Orange Cream

Vintage Soda Orange Cream

I saw Jimmy Eat World play last night. I've been a fan of them for many years, but had never seen them live. Being the music nerd I am, I found their set lists for this tour so I knew what to expect. It was a good mixture of Bleed American, Clarity and Futures, with a splash of Chase This Light and Invented.

They started the set with "Bleed American" followed by "A Praise Chorus", which was their standard opening on this tour. What came next, I wasn't expecting at all. "Today is the 10th anniversary of the release of Bleed American so we're going to play the whole album". The show I already knew was going to be good, just became amazing!

What does this have to do with this pop? That is exactly how I feel about this orange cream. Jason has given two other flavors by Vintage Soda great reviews, so when Mike gifted me this can (because he doesn't like orange cream soda. Crazy, huh?) I knew I was in for a treat. The first sip was good, tasted like a standard orange cream. It wasn't until the 2nd or 3rd sip that it hit me: this has a tangerine taste to it! Sure enough, tangerine extract is in the ingredients after orange extract.

Call me crazy, but I love tangerines more than oranges. In addition to the citrus medley, it has a really nice vanilla taste. It's not the smoothest orange cream, but it compliments the tangerine/orange flavor so well. To top it off, this soda is clear and is made with real sugar which is great seeing as they actually live by their "100% Natural" label, unlike some drinks.

Website
http://www.vintagesoda.ca/
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Natural Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on June 2nd, 2011
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