Sun-Rype Apple Green Tea Chai

Sun-Rype Apple Green Tea Chai

I do believe that mixing ingredients this way in the olden days would get a person branded a witch. In fact I’m not positive that the folks back at Sun-Rype haven’t been dabbling with the black arts. All three ingredients (apple juice, green tea and chai) are all fairly normal on their own. A combination of green tea and chai is a little unorthodox, but it’s nothing that someone would really think twice about. Apple and green tea is definitely on the stranger side of things. I don’t believe I have ever had an apple flavored green tea. If I did I’m sure the company got it all wrong and instead of using normal apple juice they probably used green apple flavoring, which is the devil in it’s own right. All of the above mixtures are acceptable, and I don’t think I would think much of them if I saw them, but when you throw all three ingredients into one drink you’re going to get my attention (and presumably the attention of some dark beings).

Things have changed as time has gone on. While this mixture probably would have gotten a person drowned or burned at the stake a couple hundred years ago, nowadays it’s gets me to yell, “Holy Crap!” and makes me giddy. I am a staunch supporter of all of these beverages and together they do not disappoint. The apple juice and green tea blend together fairly seamlessly. It’s a wonder that more companies don’t use this combination. The chai is the game changer though. It makes this drink taste like nothing I have ever had before. It adds a slight vanilla spice flavor of the likes that juice has never seen before. It forms a new hybrid creature that would be unstoppable if only the dark lord would make it a sentient being. Luckily for the world it remains just a delicious juice-tea combo that will knock your socks off.

Website
http://www.sunrype.com/
Country
Canada
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Iced Tea, Juice
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on May 13th, 2012
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Jones Soda Sugar Plum

Jones Soda Sugar Plum

What's this? It's a plum covered in sugar? Are you telling me that this is a sugarplum? Part of me doesn't know what an actual sugarplum is, but the other part of me thinks that you are trying to pull a fast one on me. I'm drinking this Jones Sugar Plum pop and it's really sweet but doesn't have any taste that I can compare it to. Stop shoving that plum in my face. You're getting sugar everywhere. Eww, really dude? You licked it and then stuck it in sugar? That's gross and I'm that much happier that I didn't touch it. What does this taste like? It’s hard to say: Fruity and sugary and carbonated. Does anyone actually know what a sugarplum tastes like? Do people still eat them? I thought it was only in that Christmas song. This is good but I bet your spitty, sugar covered plum is disgusting. It might not be for you since it's your spit but for others, you might want to do what we used to do with pretzels to get salt to stick with it and just spray it with a spray bottle of water. Stop spitting on fruit!

Website
http://www.jonessoda.com
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Inverted Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 15th, 2012
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Jones Holiday Gift Pack Soda 4 Pack 2011 Candy Cane, Ginger Bread, Sugar Plum, Pear Tree

Pop Shoppe Cream Soda

Pop Shoppe Cream Soda

One of the many things that I love about Canada is that their cream soda is red. I don’t know if it was a ruling made by Parliament (speaking of which, why is their a unicorn sticking it’s tongue out on the front of their Parliament building?) or if it was just a coincidence. Either way I love it. It has a very average cream soda flavor (you know subtly vanilla) mixed with a little bit of berry. The extra flavor does nothing but enhance the cream soda. This tastes very similar to the Crush soda mousse.

I have no idea why I found this Canadian made soda at a Big Lots in Western Pennsylvania, but who am I to question the universe? I’m simply a man who enjoys the beverages from the country to the north of him.

Website
http://www.thepopshoppe.com/
Country
Canada
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on May 23rd, 2012
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Flavur Strawberry Dragon Fruit Ginseng

Flavur Strawberry Dragon Fruit Ginseng

No matter how cool of a name dragon fruit is, and no matter how insane and awesome the outside of the fruit looks, once you cut it open it’s off putting. It looks like a bleached strawberry. I’d like to rephrase that. It looks like an albino strawberry. If I were the lying sort I would tell you that like other albinos when a dragon fruit it cut open and exposed to sunlight it ignites…just like any other albino.

I’d like to think the folks at Flavur also thought that dragon fruit looked like a pigmentless version of a strawberry and decided to mix in some real red ones and see how it tastes. The answer is it tastes delicious of course. There are two delicious fruits intermingling in a single bottle with a little help from ginseng (luckily his dirt flavor is nowhere to be found), what else could you want? Okay so there is a bit more in here. There are also apple, elderberry and lemon juice involved. Normally I’m not a fan of lemons being introduced into beverages unless it’s lemonade, but I will happily admit that it does something to bring out the flavors of the other fruits. All together it’s sweet and fruity in all the right ways.

I always find myself jealous of the Canadian public for their awesome beverages. They always seem to have very unique juices to offer. It’s also exciting when they are sweetened with beet syrup like this drink is. Now I must go and try to get “Killer Tofu” out of my head.

Country
Canada
Sweetener
Beet Syrup
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on June 3rd, 2012
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Red Rain Energy Drink Downpour Cherry Limeade

Red Rain Energy Drink Downpour Cherry Limeade

Look, I'm not fantastic with boats. I'm apparently alright with cruise ships but that's no different than riding atop a floatable skyscraper. I'm fine on those. Lil' boats destroy me. I know all the tricks; ginger ale, looking at the horizon, not taking Dramamine. They don't always work and I get nauseous and either want to hurl or sleep.

Jessika, Max, and I were going to go aboard my boss' daddy's boat and we were getting supplies. We went to K-Mart to get Max a baby sized rash-guard. K-Mart in the city is rough. Rough. Jessika's mom gets us gift cards for there and we always tell her that we never go because it's pretty depressing. One positive thing about it is that there is a dude there that looks just like Prince and he's there just enough that it's a real treat when our schedules match. He was there on the day we bought this drink and the baby shirt so I knew everything was going to alright.

We boarded the ship, rode for a few hours, Max got restless, and we got off. Sickness free. I was so distracted by Max that I didn't drink this until we went home. I didn't know what to expect because between energy, cherry, and limeade my palate didn't know what to expect. What did this deliver? Everything is in a pretty decent package. It was cherry limeade with a little bit of candy taste to it. All of the flavors actually worked well together. So well, in fact that I'm surprised that I hadn't seen this drink anywhere else before. I think that if more energy drinks tasted like this, I wouldn't always think that they sucked so badly. Some companies know what time it is and you can add this one to it. Good job, Canada. You win this round.

Website
http://redrainenergy.ca/
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Sugar/Glucose-Fructose
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on June 6th, 2012
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Red Rain Energy Drink, Cherry Limeade, 16-Ounce Cans (Pack of 12)

Jones Whoopass

Jones Whoopass

To come up with some dumb story about this drink would just be too easy, and obvious. Yes the 16 year old that lives inside of me giggled a bit when I saw this can in the store and no I am not ashamed. I just hope someone was trying to make a joke and started a fake argument, which they were planning on escalating to a fake fight in which they would taunt the other person in juvenile ways and then pull out this can as the punch line. I would also hope that jokester would get punched in the face, because that is cheesy and not funny.

This is made by the Jones company and it definitely has that specific Jones sweetness to it. All of there sodas have it, so why wouldn’t their energy drink. It actually tastes like they took a raspberry/pomegranate soda and mixed in the extra ingredients that would make it an energy drink. I’m not too crazy about the flavor, but it’s not horrendous.

I remember when this used to be a joke drink. There was a caricature on the can, and it was supposed to be funny. It seems Jones decided to give their look an overhaul and the iron cross looks like they are trying to appeal to the biker crowd. I would put my money on the idea that they were trying to appeal to the MMA crowd, but just got it wrong, and now it just catches the eye of grizzled bikers. Hey, everyone needs energy sometimes.

Website
http://www.jonessoda.com
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Invert Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on June 15th, 2012
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8 Pack - Jones WhoopAss - 16oz.

Brio Granita

Brio Granita

The Italian community in Montreal had had enough of the sodas that were available to them. They did not represent their tastes and needs. As a result Brio was born. This is really just the Canadian take on the San Pellegrino drinks. Sure the can lists: Milano, London, New York, Paris an d Tokyo, but the only place I have ever seen this drink on the shelves is in Canada. An internet search comes up with little to no information as well. There is much that we don’t know about the Brio company, and by much I mean we pretty much know nothing. For all I know they could have been an extremist movement who used the cans to smuggle contraband. I doubt that, but hey anything is a possibility.

This here is their blood orange flavor. As I said this is basically another version of the San Pellegrino Aranciata Rossa. It’s very light tasting, but not dry at all. It’s kind of like a nondescript soda with small waves of blood orange flavor. It’s nice and it seems like it would be a nice healthy alternative to other sodas. That is until you look at the ingredients and see that there are 42g of sugar in here. I believe that might actually be more sugar than a can of Coke. Well, that was completely unexpected. I like the drink, but I think it could have done with less sugar.

Country
Canada
Sweetener
Sugar/Glucose-Fructose
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on June 18th, 2012
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Koala Sparkling Fruit Beverage Raspberry & Guava

Koala Sparkling Fruit Beverage Raspberry & Guava

The Canadian government has recently shipped hundreds of koalas into their country. Originally they wanted to give the country a make over. People were getting tired of being associated with moose and beavers. They wanted a cuter image. Unfortunately the koalas tried to wage war on the beavers, and even though they were tired of the image, beavers are still are a sacred creature up north, so they couldn’t allow the war to happen. As a result they moved the koalas to warehouse buildings where tropical fruit was grown under unnatural conditions. The koalas were trained to pick the fruit and to prepare it for juicing. This didn’t work as well as the officials had hoped since the animals spend a majority of their day sleeping. There was not nearly enough fruit prepared to make a straight up juice, so a brainstorming session took place and it was decided to use the fruit they had to make flavored sparkling water.

Now I certainly would have preferred juice to flavored sparkling water, but I can’t blame koalas for doing what comes natural. I can blame them for adding too much sugar and this tasting more like cheap soda than a sparkling water. It does have a guava/raspberry taste, but the added sugar takes away from it and leaves you knowing that if you spilled it all over the place you would have one hell of a sticky mess on your hands. Since this couldn’t be juice I wish it had been subtler. As it stands I can’t get through more than a couple of sips a sitting.

Country
Canada
Sweetener
Liquid Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop, Sparkling
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on June 19th, 2012
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Jones Soda Ginger Bread

Jones Soda Ginger Bread

Drinking this on July 1st may have been a bit of a mistake. It’s nearly the furthest one can get away from Christmas, and this is certainly a winter/Christmas soda if ever there was one. It smells and tastes like liquid gingerbread cookies. Actually it tastes like the gingerbread equivalent of vanilla extract. I wouldn’t be surprised if this was the essence that came in a little glass bottle that was added to cookies to make them taste like gingerbread. It’s a bit much. I did enjoy the taste, but it was so strong that I couldn’t get through half of the bottle, and I ended up sharing the rest with everyone.

On a separate note, do you think they got the picture on the label submitted to them before they had the idea for this flavor? Did the picture inspire the flavor? I’d like to think so.

Website
http://www.jonessoda.com
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Inverted Cane Sugar
Categories
Ginger, Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 2nd, 2012
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Jones Soda Doctor Jones

Jones Soda Doctor Jones

I had a lot of little things on my “To-Do” list that involved things I could do, sitting at a computer (color separations for screen printing) or just sitting around (cutting pants into shorts), so I decided to curl up on the couch with Temple of Doom and a nice frosty bottle of Doctor Jones. Now that is a winning pair if I’ve ever heard of one. Speaking of pairing do you think a high quality Dr Pepper knock off would go better with Snake Surprise, Black Beetles, Eyeball Soup or Chilled Monkey Brains? Yeah, you’re probably right, a nice Doctor Jones/Monkey Brain float sounds just wonderful.

Jones really did a great job with this soda. Normally knock offs of this variety have something a little off about them that let’s you know that they didn’t get the recipe quite right. This on the other hand is so similar to Dublin Dr. Pepper that I don’t know if I could taste the difference in a blind taste test. Remember those? Do any companies still do them? If so please get a hold of Mike and I because we would love to participate.

Here’s a little insight into my psyche for you. When I was a pre-teen I was obsessed with Indiana Jones. I bought my mom’s boyfriend a hat like the one Indy wears without even a thought as to whether or not he liked the movies (of course he did, he’s not a communist). I also took a summer archeology class. It wasn’t as exciting as I wanted it to be. I think they should have buried bottles of this soda out in a field and had us go dig them up, carefully as to not break the glass. I would have been more pumped about the class then. I’m more of a field agent instead of a classroom snoozer.

One final thought. Two of my biggest heroes (Indiana Jones and Peter Venkman) are both doctors. I really need to sign up for one of those online fake colleges where you can get real degrees that no one takes seriously. That way I can legally get Dr. Jason Draper put on my license. How sweet would that be? I could also carry around a sweet whip and a proton pack. Even sweeter.


ppppps. It would be criminal if I didn't say this. "No time for love Doctor Jones."

Website
http://www.jonessoda.com
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Inverted Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 9th, 2012
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