Polar Seltzer Raspberry Rose

Polar Seltzer Raspberry Rose

Summertime in Seltzerville in 2018 is very similar to that of last year. Most of the limited edition Polar flavors are slight twists on last year’s flavors, while others such as this Raspberry Rose have just been brought back in the same form for summer consumption. I have no idea how we did not review this one last year. I guess it was when Mike and I were in a slump and were just burned out with doing Thirsty Dudes. Whatever the reason we missed it, and we apologize.

I am a bit surprised that this is the only returning flavor, as it was probably my least favorite of the 2017 line (I drank far too much of the mango berry). This is essentially a unsweetened , non-alcoholic wine spritzer. It’s not something I would normally drink. It’s lighter in flavor than normal Polar flavors. It also has an undertone that I will attribute to the fake wine aspect. I don’t really know if that is true, because wine seems like the grossest thing to me. It just smells like rot to me. This isn’t really a beverage for me, but friends who tried this, who enjoy wine said that it’s pretty fantastic, so don’t take my word on anything.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 3 weeks, 3 days ago
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Treo Organic Birch Water Infusion Blueberry

Treo Organic Birch Water Infusion Blueberry

I learned today that birch water is nature’s Gatorade. According to the Treo website it is “full of naturally occurring electrolytes and antioxidants” and it “hydrates your body faster than water.” Interesting. Did you also know that it’s what plants crave? Did you also know that we are in a real life version of the movie Idiocracy….says far too many people who think they are clever. Less complaining about annoying people and more talk about the drink at hand. Xylitol is naturally occurring in birch sap as well, so this is naturally sweet yet low in calories. Everything seems to be coming up roses for this style of beverage. The only thing is I’m not 100% sold on the taste. I could see it going down smooth after exercising or performing at a sporting event, but just casually sipping it is not really for me. It doesn’t taste like maple, but there is something about it that I can’t put my finger on that makes it definitely in the same family. For the record I am not a maple fan, so that could be the reason to my slight aversion to this. At least the blueberry in here is tasty and is like fruit and not just flavoring. Now I just want to listen to Trio, you know the band that sings Da Da Da that is not the Elastica version.

Website
http://www.drinktreo.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Erytritol
Categories
Other/Weird, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 3 weeks, 4 days ago
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Kapoya Energy Drink Mango Passion Fruit

Kapoya Energy Drink Mango Passion Fruit

The following things are generally bad news for beverage companies. 1. Your products are found at Big Lots at a discounted rate (Say, oh I dunno… 33 cents per can). 2. You make beverages and us here at Thirsty Dudes have never heard of your company, and we are not 100% sure how to pronounce its name. 3. Your social media presence seems to have dried up (perhaps you haven’t made a post in nearly two years). If all three of these things ring true, then it’s more than likely that the company has folded and that once the shelves are clear I will never hear a word about the company again. In this case it’s kind of a shame because for some reason that I cannot understand I do not hate this companies products. They are diet energy drinks that rely on the natural side of things to provide said energy. It’s all B vitamins and caffeine in here. They are proud of the fact that they do not use taurine, but the strange thing is that energy drinks that do contain that specific ingredient tend to be the ones that taste like melted candy. Even without it each of these flavors taste like a melted Free-Z-Pop. Since the demise of this company seems to have already occurred, I’m going to pull a first time move here on Thirsty Dudes and just write one review and use it for all of the flavors, because I don’t think this is going to be much help to anyone looking to try something new, unless they see it immediately and rush to Big Lots before the space is swapped out for another doomed product.

Blue Raspberry: It’s a diet version of a flavor that doesn’t really exist in nature. Blue raspberries aren’t a real thing, so why do so many companies use it as a flavor? If you are reading this, chances are you know exactly what this flavor tastes like. Now just make that diet and you have what’s in this can.
Mango Passionfruit: This is the flavor that is probably closest to the fruits it’s meant to impersonate. It is ridiculously sweet. While there is no sugar in here there are loads of sucralose. This is the flavor I thought I would enjoy the most and while it’s perfectly serviceable I enjoyed the last one the most.

Wild Grape: You know how grapes taste? Do you also know how grape flavored things taste? Well this falls on the latter side of the divide. I don’t know why I really enjoy the taste of fake grape. I mean I love the real thing too, but sometimes on a nice hot day I just want a mouthful of fake grape. Maybe it has something to do with a childhood memory. Who knows? All I know is I enjoyed this more than I expected to, even in all its diet glory.

Finally, I don’t know if Kapoya just missed the Stevia train, but I feel like had these used it as their zero calorie sweetener they may have been able to get away with labeling these as “all natural” and I’m sure that would have helped to move more units for more than $.33 each.

Website
http://kapoyaenergy.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 3 weeks, 6 days ago
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Kapoya Energy Drink Wild Grape

Kapoya Energy Drink Wild Grape

The following things are generally bad news for beverage companies. 1. Your products are found at Big Lots at a discounted rate (Say, oh I dunno… 33 cents per can). 2. You make beverages and us here at Thirsty Dudes have never heard of your company, and we are not 100% sure how to pronounce its name. 3. Your social media presence seems to have dried up (perhaps you haven’t made a post in nearly two years). If all three of these things ring true, then it’s more than likely that the company has folded and that once the shelves are clear I will never hear a word about the company again. In this case it’s kind of a shame because for some reason that I cannot understand I do not hate this companies products. They are diet energy drinks that rely on the natural side of things to provide said energy. It’s all B vitamins and caffeine in here. They are proud of the fact that they do not use taurine, but the strange thing is that energy drinks that do contain that specific ingredient tend to be the ones that taste like melted candy. Even without it each of these flavors taste like a melted Free-Z-Pop. Since the demise of this company seems to have already occurred, I’m going to pull a first time move here on Thirsty Dudes and just write one review and use it for all of the flavors, because I don’t think this is going to be much help to anyone looking to try something new, unless they see it immediately and rush to Big Lots before the space is swapped out for another doomed product.

Blue Raspberry: It’s a diet version of a flavor that doesn’t really exist in nature. Blue raspberries aren’t a real thing, so why do so many companies use it as a flavor? If you are reading this, chances are you know exactly what this flavor tastes like. Now just make that diet and you have what’s in this can.
Mango Passionfruit: This is the flavor that is probably closest to the fruits it’s meant to impersonate. It is ridiculously sweet. While there is no sugar in here there are loads of sucralose. This is the flavor I thought I would enjoy the most and while it’s perfectly serviceable I enjoyed the last one the most.

Wild Grape: You know how grapes taste? Do you also know how grape flavored things taste? Well this falls on the latter side of the divide. I don’t know why I really enjoy the taste of fake grape. I mean I love the real thing too, but sometimes on a nice hot day I just want a mouthful of fake grape. Maybe it has something to do with a childhood memory. Who knows? All I know is I enjoyed this more than I expected to, even in all its diet glory.

Finally, I don’t know if Kapoya just missed the Stevia train, but I feel like had these used it as their zero calorie sweetener they may have been able to get away with labeling these as “all natural” and I’m sure that would have helped to move more units for more than $.33 each.

Website
http://kapoyaenergy.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 3 weeks, 6 days ago
Comments
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Kapoya Energy Drink Blue Raspberry

Kapoya Energy Drink Blue Raspberry

The following things are generally bad news for beverage companies. 1. Your products are found at Big Lots at a discounted rate (Say, oh I dunno… 33 cents per can). 2. You make beverages and us here at Thirsty Dudes have never heard of your company, and we are not 100% sure how to pronounce its name. 3. Your social media presence seems to have dried up (perhaps you haven’t made a post in nearly two years). If all three of these things ring true, then it’s more than likely that the company has folded and that once the shelves are clear I will never hear a word about the company again. In this case it’s kind of a shame because for some reason that I cannot understand I do not hate this companies products. They are diet energy drinks that rely on the natural side of things to provide said energy. It’s all B vitamins and caffeine in here. They are proud of the fact that they do not use taurine, but the strange thing is that energy drinks that do contain that specific ingredient tend to be the ones that taste like melted candy. Even without it each of these flavors taste like a melted Free-Z-Pop. Since the demise of this company seems to have already occurred, I’m going to pull a first time move here on Thirsty Dudes and just write one review and use it for all of the flavors, because I don’t think this is going to be much help to anyone looking to try something new, unless they see it immediately and rush to Big Lots before the space is swapped out for another doomed product.

Blue Raspberry: It’s a diet version of a flavor that doesn’t really exist in nature. Blue raspberries aren’t a real thing, so why do so many companies use it as a flavor? If you are reading this, chances are you know exactly what this flavor tastes like. Now just make that diet and you have what’s in this can.
Mango Passionfruit: This is the flavor that is probably closest to the fruits it’s meant to impersonate. It is ridiculously sweet. While there is no sugar in here there are loads of sucralose. This is the flavor I thought I would enjoy the most and while it’s perfectly serviceable I enjoyed the last one the most.

Wild Grape: You know how grapes taste? Do you also know how grape flavored things taste? Well this falls on the latter side of the divide. I don’t know why I really enjoy the taste of fake grape. I mean I love the real thing too, but sometimes on a nice hot day I just want a mouthful of fake grape. Maybe it has something to do with a childhood memory. Who knows? All I know is I enjoyed this more than I expected to, even in all its diet glory.

Finally, I don’t know if Kapoya just missed the Stevia train, but I feel like had these used it as their zero calorie sweetener they may have been able to get away with labeling these as “all natural” and I’m sure that would have helped to move more units for more than $.33 each.

Website
http://kapoyaenergy.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 3 weeks, 6 days ago
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Polar Seltzer'ade Starfruit Lemonade

Polar Seltzer'ade Starfruit Lemonade

The weather has finally broke and it’s been plain warm out. The sun is shining down the trees are sprouting leaves and I’m sitting on my back porch hanging with my new puppy and sipping on this can of seltzer’ade. Oh yeah, The artist formerly known as Editor Dan is also with me, encouraging my pup to be the jerk he kind of already is. He’s a bad friend I tell ya. The only reason I mention this poor influence is that he tried this beverage and instantly proclaimed that it tasted like lemon Pez. He’s not too far off base. It’s not exact, but I see where he’s coming from. I have no idea if this tastes like actual starfruit, because I haven’t tasted one in over a decade. I can say that it is fruity and refreshing, and that I would be enjoying it a lot more if I didn’t have to worry about this dog doing something stupid, like dig a giant hole in my lawn…..too late.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Lemonade, Sparkling, Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 4 weeks, 1 day ago
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Naked Nutrition Pea

Naked Nutrition Pea

Pea and rice are my favorite protein sources when it comes to powders. To me they taste the best and I don’t feel gross drinking something that comes from an animal. For the record milk has grossed me out since I was a kid and I will never get over thinking about what it actually is, and how unbelievably unnatural it seems for one species to drink another species milk.

Anyway, this is made from peas, and just peas. Guess what, it tastes like peas. If you use water as a mixer it can be a little bitter. I tried it with water as well as almond milk, and I enjoyed the later much more. Listen, I know mushy peas are the worst vegetable on the Thanksgiving table, but they are much better in this form. It’s the texture that makes them gross. I swear. Just buy something like this instead of whey protein, you'll feel better about your choice.

Website
http://nkdnutrition.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Mix/Concentrate, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 4 weeks, 2 days ago
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Polar Seltzer Pineapple Lemon Twist

Polar Seltzer Pineapple Lemon Twist

It’s that time of year again and the limited edition summer line by Polar is finally here. I have been checking the grocery store for weeks and it has paid off, as there are some new flavors this time around that definitely got me excited.

Pineapple is one of the greatest fruits we have discovered on this vast planet. Sure if you eat too much it can be painful. I once ate an entire pineapple, by self, in one sitting and it made my tongue bleed. Citrus can be a harsh mistress, but the taste makes it worth it. That side of this twist is fantastic. I’m not exactly sure who got away with pitching adding lemon to it though. Lemon is a budget flavoring and I feel that as humans we can move past it for the most part. I’m sure it was proposed as pineapple lemonade, which would have been incredible. That belongs in their Seltzerade line though, as here the flavor doesn’t have the punch it needs to be classified as a lemonade. A pineapple lime would have been nice. I would have loved to have gotten a pineapple-apple seltzer, as the name would make me laugh every time I poured a glass. My number one choice would have been pineapple vanilla though. I’ve made it on my own and it’s delicious.

As it stands this is fairly tasty and I went through the bottle quick. I just feel there are better potential pairings out there that were missed out on.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on May 20th, 2018
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Giving Tree Tea Original Organic Moringa Superfood Tea

Giving Tree Tea Original Organic Moringa Superfood Tea

Correct me if I’m wrong, but the Shel Silverstein book that shares a name with this beverage is about how humans are horrible needy beings that will ruin anything if it helps them to “progress.” In the book the boy takes and takes until there is nothing left, and even then he uses ole stumpy as a place to rest his weary body, when he hasn’t been back in years to visit. At the same time the book seems to teach that feminine things should be happy to serve. I know it’s a childhood favorite to a lot of people but looking at it as an adult that book is a crock.

While they may share names this beverage is of a different sort. They give in the form of vitamin c, calcium, potassium, iron, protein as well refreshment, but they also take your cash and make a profit, which they should. As an added bonus, Giving Tree Tea also donates a portion of each sale to provide healthy meals to people who are struggling with hunger. They should be the basis for a children’s book. They give and they take, and they aren’t a chump in doing so. Everyone is happy and they are making the world a better place. Sharing and giving are important, but so is your general wellbeing, and don’t let a picture book from the 60’s tell you any different.

Moringa is a light earthy tea that has some produce like notes in it. Sometimes I think they are fruitlike and other times it’s almost like leafy greens. I’m going to go with the latter and say it’s the sugar that makes me think of fruit. It’s almost as if it’s tea flavored water, except it is way healthier. I feel like I could down a gallon of this without blinking.

Website
http://givingtreetea.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on May 15th, 2018
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Bubbly Sparkling Water Strawberry

Bubbly Sparkling Water Strawberry

When you live in a country where more and more people are finally starting to become health conscious eventually seltzer water is going to come into the mainstream. I’m not saying that it used to be a underground phenomenon. It’s not like it’s the mid 80’s and Dischord is at the forefront of the DC punk scene. It just wasn’t something that was everywhere with tons of people drinking it. I’ve been seeing a lot of ads for Bubbly around lately. Something about the design work made me think of generic store brand and I didn’t hold much hope for greatness. I finally grabbed this today when I was thirsty, on the run, and not looking for sugar. While it’s not mind-blowing and bursting with flavor in a way that makes you question if there is secretly sugar involved in some way, but it is very good. The strawberry is subtle, yet present. I’m aware of the contradiction there. It’s just that it’s not really there while you mull over the flavor in your mouth, but the second you swallow it’s strawberry town. Maybe strawberry-ville? Well, it’s certainly more than the hamlet of strawberry. Whatever, it’s tasty and tastes as much like strawberries as you possibly could without it being sweet. With a price point a bit higher than my standby Polar, I don’t know if I could buy a case to grab on the go, but I would certainly grab these again from gas stations while I’m out and about. Sometimes the increased quality just does not justify the increase in price, well at least for me, but I’m cheap.

Website
http://www.bubly.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on May 13th, 2018
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