Teaonic I Love My Gut

Teaonic I Love My Gut

This little guy tasted pretty much as I expected it to. It tastes like it serves a more medicinal purpose than a pleasurable one. I’m not saying that it didn’t have pleasant taste, but the rest of the ingredients play more of a role in the flavor than the tea does. In fact the tea aspect of it taste more like tea water than the nice strong brew that one expects from a bottled iced tea. The ingredients that make up the chia spice blend are the ones who are running this show. It’s almost all cinnamon, ginger, and licorice.

This was made to help with stomach issues and digestion, but if the tea had been stronger I could see this being an instant favorite. Even without the strong tea taste it still left a delicious residue on my lips.

Website
http://teaonic.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Iced Tea, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 2 weeks, 5 days ago
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Del Valle Jamaica & nada

Del Valle Jamaica & nada

Am I wrong in thinking that jamaica and hibiscus are the same thing (also sorrel)? I’m pretty sure they are the same. I would look it up, but I’m in Mexico and I don’t have internet access. So I will assume they are one and the same. I’m not positive what nada is, but I think it’s the same fruit as I bought from some cart earlier with chili powder and lime. At least that’s what I think the vender said. My Spanish is minimal and a lot of people talk very fast down here. I digress; this is sparkling mineral water with juice added. It’s fairly sweet and floral. I like it, but it was a bit much to get through the whole bottle. I kind of wish I had went with the lime instead. All I really want to consume down here involves limes. This has been a fairly uninformative review, but it’s what you’re going to get, because I don’t know what else to say about it.

Country
Mexico
Sweetener
Azucar
Categories
Soda Pop, Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 2 weeks, 6 days ago
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#Yolo Energy Mixer | Drink Blue Spirit

#Yolo Energy Mixer | Drink Blue Spirit

You only live once, but as it turns out life can be pretty horrible sometimes, especially if you are drinking a beverage such as this. You may be in luck though, because this tastes like it may or not be poison. If I saw a warning on it that said “If ingested call Poison Control.” To me it tastes like carbonated blue Hugs that a neighborhood creep drugged to off the kids on the block. Perhaps there was a mix up and in fact I am consuming windshield wiper fluid? Do you want to know how hard it was to get through this? My friend says it tastes how freshly cleaned toilets smell. Enjoy!

Country
Mexico
Sweetener
Azucar
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 2 weeks, 6 days ago
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Topo Chico Twist of Lime

Topo Chico Twist of Lime

Recently I began what I believe to be a long and happy relationship with Topo Chico. I have no idea why I had never tried it before. I always see it in Mexican restaurants, but I never went for it and I am a fool for it. It’s wonderful sparkling mineral water with a little citrus added to it. I recently went to Mexico on tour and I knew I would see/drink a lot of it, and I was very excited. Little did I know that this lime variety existed and I tell you it is a game changer. This is exactly like the original, but better because of the lime instead of lemon. I’d love for everything that has lemon in the world be changed so that it included lime instead. It is the superior form of citrus.

Website
http://www.topochicousa.net/
Country
Mexico
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 2 weeks, 6 days ago
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Busy Bee Yerba Mate Lavender Lemonade

Busy Bee Yerba Mate Lavender Lemonade

This, my friends, is no joke. You see little old me had a sore tummy like the big baby that I am, but I really, really couldn’t pass this up. I figured it was going to be extremely strong/sour and that it would upset my stomach even more. As it turns out it was completely perfect. For the most part this is a mate tea, where the lavender and the lemon are more just a flavoring than leading roles. You may find yourself asking, “What is the point? The flavor should be up front!” For some beverages you may be right, but for this everything sat just where it needed to be. This is nice and earthy with a sweetness that doesn’t get too crazy. I love it. It is a bit strange to have a flavor that is known for its calming effect mixed with a stimulant. I will say that it does give it a nice flavor though.

Website
http://busybeemate.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Pure Cane Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea, Lemonade
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 2 weeks, 6 days ago
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McDonalds Milk Shake Chocolate Shamrock Shake

McDonalds Milk Shake Chocolate Shamrock Shake

No one in the car? We can get away with something. A milkshake from McDonald's the perfect sneaky treat. I've been cooking fantastic meals from Blue Apron that take me between 45 minutes and an hour to make and I snuck out to get a milkshake. Not just any milkshake but a Shamrock Shake and not just any Shamrock Shake but a chocolate Shamrock Shake. I get it and it looks 50% great. There is a little whipped cream with a cherry and some green, festive, seasonal sparkley sprinkles. Then we get to the meat of the shake...pause for dramatic effect.

Why is this layered? Why is this layered like this? I mean, they came out with a cool straw that was made to drink from two points at a time. What happens if you have a regular straw? It's not a chocolate Shamrock Shake as much as it is a half chocolate and half Shamrock shake. Unless you mix them up yourself, which I didn't, you have to drink through each flavor. I just thought that was strange and wrong. Like when my brother wore seven pairs of underwear at a time so that he could take off the outside pair and not have to put on new underwear for a week. Pause for applause...

Website
http://www.mcdonalds.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Milkshake
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 3 weeks, 1 day ago
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Apple & Eve Organics Tropical Mango

Apple & Eve Organics Tropical Mango

I wish I lived in a perfect world. A world where everything wasn’t such a mess. A world where everything wasn’t falling apart before my eyes. A world where juice was nothing but the fruit it was named after, especially when it’s 100% juice. I want mangos, nothing but mangos. I want it to be thick and syrupy, so I can pretend that I am taking a nice big bite of the most perfectly ripe mango. Since this carton cost me a little over a dollar, I should have known that wasn’t going to be the case. How could the company afford it? They would be operating at a loss. Instead they have to mix in some other, cheaper fruits to keep the price point down, but retain the 100% juice certification. I’m sure they proudly display their certificate in their offices. I certainly would, right next to my framed dollar bill.

The other juices in here besides the coveted mango are apple, banana, carrot and orange. That is a lot of juice. The apple takes up the bulk of it. There is even more apple than mango, lucky for us mango is a stronger flavor and overpowers it. You can taste the apple, but it still tastes stronger of mango. The banana is oh so faint, but I still kind of hate knowing that it’s there, contaminating this juice even if it’s only slightly. The carrots and the orange just kind of blend it and are hardly noticeable. I would definitely call this a mango-apple juice. I think I might enjoy it more if they just were honest with the name. It tastes great, but my taste buds were expecting something a bit different. Now sit back and watch the rest of the horror in this world unfold before your eyes.

Website
http://www.appleandeve.com/
Country
Canada
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 7th, 2017
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Sparkling Ice Essence Lemon Lime

Sparkling Ice Essence Lemon Lime

I love that Sparkling Ice is taking a step back from sucralose, well at least with their Essence line. I just could not get into the dietness of it all. These new ones though have been mostly pretty great. It’s just flavored seltzer water, but the flavors have been good, up until now. This isn’t bad per say, but it really teeters on the “tastes like a cleaner” line of things. I feel like everyone involved in the lemon industry should file a class action lawsuit against household cleaners because they have ruined a once great fruit. I feel like the world used to embrace lemon in all its forms, but now folks are reminded of cleaning chemicals and it’s a turn off. Big money could be made. Big, big money.

Once you get past the association, this isn’t bad. I could do with a tad bit more lime, but I’m always going to want more of that. It’s not really a flavor for me, but I wouldn’t dump it down the drain.

Website
http://www.sparklingice.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 6th, 2017
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Rockstar Revolt Killer Citrus

Rockstar Revolt Killer Citrus

As you may know from reading thirsty Dudes (You don’t, because you don’t. I mean, why would you?) I have a sensitivity to caffeine and energy drinks can really screw with me. I don’t drink them very often because of this. The thing is that I actually kind of like the weird energy drink taste that exists nowhere else in the beverage world. On top of that there are situations where I have to be up until nearly dawn and the chances of me staying awake that late on my own are slim. Friday was one of those nights. I knew I needed some help and figured I might as well cross another drink off the Thirsty Dudes list, so I stood way longer than any human should in front of the beverage cooler checking each of the energy drinks to our master list to see what we hadn’t reviewed yet. Shockingly there were very few that we hadn’t written about. I’m a fan of citrus, and the green of the can made me think it would be heavier on the lime side of things, so I chose this can of Rockstar Revolt.

This most definitely did not taste like I had anticipated. I had expected a lime version of a classic energy drink. That weird part bubblegum part citrus taste mixed with a whole lot of lime. Instead, this tastes like 7 Up or Sprite with a little something extra in it. That something is kind of like this was made from a powder and it wasn’t missed up enough. There isn’t an actual gritty texture to this, but it tastes like there should be. I don’t understand where that is coming from. There is no trace of the “energy drink taste” that I mentioned earlier, this is its one thing. There is also no real taste of the orange juice that is listed in the ingredietns.

I personally think that lemon lime is the most boring of soda flavors, but I know there are people out there who love it, or it wouldn’t be such a staple. This is going to make some people very happy.

Website
http://www.rockstar69.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 5th, 2017
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Trader Joe's Brewed Ginger Beer

Trader Joe's Brewed Ginger Beer

Ahh ginger beer. Always a welcome guest in my house. Gosling's, Goya and now Trader Joe's. Sure, there are other ones. What? Do you want me to make a list? Well it's not going to happen. Alright, fine. Here. Happy?

This is good. It's sweet. I could put this in the category of "entry level" since it's not going to burn the skin off your mouth. Tame. Could you give it to kids? Sure if the kids you are giving it to aren't wimps and if their parents aren't around. If I saw you giving my kids pop, I might say something. If I saw you giving my kids ginger beer, I might say something after I saw the look on their dumb, wimp faces as their tiny, young mouths are on fire.

This is sweeter than I like my ginger beer but makes up for in earthy, ginger flavor. It's like losing a game only to come up a couple points short in the fourth quarter. Everything was against you and you are still going home a loser just not as much of a loser.

Website
http://www.traderjoes.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Ginger, Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 2nd, 2017
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