Spindrift Sparkling Water Lemon

Spindrift Sparkling Water Lemon

I shouldn't like this. Cracking open this can should be a one way ticket to Boringville, USA. In my world lemon is overrated and unnecessary. I would rather drink plain water than with a slice of lemon in it. Somehow I find this quite refreshing though. Perhaps it's because the lemon taste it more upfront. Sure, it only has 5% lemon juice, but I assure you that lemon water you get at a restaurant probably have less than .5% juice. If there were sugar in this I would even call it a lemonade. It's simple. It's clean. It's a little bit of alright. It may not take you to Flavortown, but it would take less time to get there than to Boringville.

Website
http://www.spindriftsoda.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on May 21st, 2017
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Busy Bee Yerba Mate Orange Blossom

Busy Bee Yerba Mate Orange Blossom

There is magic in that mate. It has to be as simple as that. I don’t know if it technically is classified as a tea, but for my purposes I will chose to call it that. To that end yerba mate is my tea of choice when it is in its iced form. Guayaki is the company that turned me on to this wonder, but busy Bee may be the ones who perfected it. The quantities I could drink of this are absolutely ridiculous. I don’t know when the last time I was this excited about a tea was, and to that end I believe magic is involved. Now I’m not saying there are dark arts involved. It may just be some guy in the bottling plant that pulls rabbits out of hats to assume the other employees (you know the ones who look at him with disdain) breaking health code violations all day long. I believe that that enough could somehow force a little something extra into this product to make it the wonder that sits in front of me, or rather the wonder that once filled the empty bottle that sits in front of me. Is it really gone so fast?

The base of this is clearly the earthy flavor of yerba mate. It apparently is unsmoked. I didn’t know that was a thing because I am a yerba mate-dummy. They are apparently doing things right though because it tastes wonderful. On top of that is a wonderful combination of orange and wildflower honey. It all melds together into greatness. Nothing is overpowering the other flavors and that is the way things should be. It tastes like it was made by someone’s zany grandmother who doesn’t believe in black tea and only drinks mate. She’s a wise old lady with a tale for every wrinkle on her body.

Busy Bee is somehow connected to Texas Tea, which I can find around Buffalo. I can only hope this new brand/flavors make their way this far north so I can guzzle them all day long.

Website
http://busybeemate.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Pure Cane Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on May 21st, 2017
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Naturewise Whole Body Vitality Drink Tropical White Tea

Naturewise Whole Body Vitality Drink Tropical White Tea

What are we celebrating? Did someone get a raise? Did someone get fired? Was it Carol? I never liked her anyhow. Oh, she's still here? Oh, she actually got a raise? Oh, she's standing right behind me? Does she look mad? She does? Oh. Well. I guess I'll have to face this like a man. Hello, Carol. It’s so nice to see you. Lovely day outside, isn’t it? Did you get your hair done? You didn't? You actually have baby puke in your hair? I thought someone was eating cottage cheese. Congratulations on your raise. You are a hard worker and it's good to see all your hard work didn't go unnoticed, which is more than I can say for myself.

I've brought these celebratory drinks. They taste like a mimosa made with orange juice and non-alcoholic champagne sweetened with Erytritol, you know, to keep it diet. It tastes fine but that artificial sweetener is really prominent as if to scream to the world and make it as apparent as possible that you're on a diet. No, I didn't say it looked like you had to go on a diet. No I didn't say that I didn't like you. I said...I said I didn't like "shoes." I didn't like your shoes. I don't like your shoes, Carol. They're just too cool. "Too Cool Carol" is what I'm going to call you. You're making the rest of us look bad, Carol. Everyone hates you because you're too cool. Look out everyone, "Too Cool Carol" is coming through with her baby puke shirt and cool shoes and a raise. Look out! Everyone get out of the way.

Website
http://www.naturewise.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Erytritol
Categories
Diet, Iced Tea, Sparkling
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 19th, 2017
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Naturewise Whole Body Vitality Drink Berry Guayusa

Naturewise Whole Body Vitality Drink Berry Guayusa

A large part of me wants to dedicate my life to science in order to create/discover a zero calorie sweetener that has no real taste, other than that of real sugar. I completely applaud people for watching their calories and realizing that there is far too much sugar in most mass marketed consumables. On the whole we are not a healthy country and I appreciate when companies and consumers step up to try to do something about it. The problem is that the healthier sweeteners that sugar and corn syrup are swapped out for have specific tastes of their own, which just also happen to be very strong. I will happily admit that erythritol and stevia are preferable to other garbage zero calorie sweeteners out there, but they are still overpowering. If they were not included in this beverage it would taste wonderfully like raspberries. You can tell that this is a beverage that would actually taste like raspberries and not some generic fake berry flavor. Unfortunately it is buried under the flavor of the sweeteners.

This could have been incredible tasting, and still healthy if only another sweetener option existed. I’m going to don my lab coat, get out some beakers and get to work. I will not rest until I have an answer that will let this beverage be what it so desperately wants to, and deserves to be! Either that or until it’s lunchtime. I’m actually kind of hungry not. I’m going to make a PB sandwich.

Website
http://www.naturewise.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Erythritol
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on May 18th, 2017
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Polar Seltzer Pineapple Grapefruit

Polar Seltzer Pineapple Grapefruit

It’s the time of year again when the sun is finally starting to shine in Buffalo and the temperatures are on the rise. That also means that it’s time for Polar to release their Summer line and this year it’s a doozy. Some old favorites like Mango Berry are back, but more importantly are the new flavors like this little guy right here. I don’t know who the genius is that thought this up, but I would certainly like to shake their hand, scratch that…give them a huge hug of thanks.

I never knew that pineapple was a flavor that I was missing from seltzer, but now that I have it I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look back. This is really 85% pineapple 15% grapefruit. I’m completely fine with that ratio. It could have been 100% pineapple and I wouldn’t have complained, but as it is the grapefruit rounds out the edges a bit. The amount of this I will be drinking this summer is out of control. If Polar really wants all of my money they will make a pineapple vanilla. I would pre-order case upon case of it.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on May 16th, 2017
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Kra Sports Drink Lemon

Kra Sports Drink Lemon

Why is it that a combination of salt and lime sounds enticing (and Mexican, but switch out that citrus fruit for another and it sounds off? The thought of it certainly had me putting off drinking this. I knew it wouldn’t be horrible, but it just didn’t sound like something I wanted. When I finally got around to it I was pleasantly surprised. Sure it doesn’t make me think of the millions of tacos I would like to consume, but who is eating tacos while playing sports? Geniuses maybe?

The salt in here is noticeable, but Kra did not go overboard with it. It really just tastes like a more natural lemon sports drink. You score all the points, you make all the goals and then you rehydrate with one of these. You won’t be sorry. It’s a better version of what you are used to, and what more could you ask for?

Now I’m going to go run a marathon and down a taco at every quarter mile.

Website
http://https://www.drinkkra.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on May 16th, 2017
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Izze Fusions Orange Mango

Izze Fusions Orange Mango

Orange and mango are good buds. They're arguably both orange. That lumps them into that category. Really, that's it. They're also just a good pair. This tastes more like orange juice than a 50/50 split. I'd happily give it 75/25 if we're going to put numbers on it.

This was given to my mammy as a way to promote the product. Well, they didn't know who her son was. Most people don't. I am but a man. A sexy, attractive, talented, man of a man. A man who decided to spend the last seven years writing crud about drinks. This being one of them. What do I have to say about it? It's good. Simple as that. Personally I like the other Izze drinks because they're lighter and simpler. This is...not thicker...but denser. It's a sparkling juice. They call it like a sparkling soda, water and juice simultaneously and it is all of them and it is one of them. Is it confusing? No. You know why? Who is going to fight over what this is. Whatever it is, it's sparkling and fruity and drinkable. Don't put baby in the corner. Just drink it.

Website
http://www.izze.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Juice, Soda Pop, Sparkling
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 15th, 2017
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Mati Healthy Energy Passion Fruit

Mati Healthy Energy Passion Fruit

This is pretty darn tart, in a good way. A bulk of the flavor comes from a combination of passionfruit and lime juice. The rest of it is the guayusa. If nothing else this is very interesting. It’s the type of drink that requires a learning curve. If you go into it blind I would expect that you wouldn’t really enjoy it and that it would just taste weird. When you know what you are getting you can start to enjoy it. The more you drink it the more you enjoy it. It is a bit odd drinking something that is passionfruit flavored that is not super sweet, but life goes on and by the time I reached the end of this can I was totally on board, even if I was tentative with the first few sips.

Website
http://www.matienergy.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on May 14th, 2017
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Spindrift Sparkling Water Orange Mango

Spindrift Sparkling Water Orange Mango

Most seltzers/sparkling waters keep things simple with just carbonated water and some sort of flavoring, usually under the umbrella of “natural flavoring.” Who knows what those natural flavors are? They could be any sort of weirdness that exists in nature, but has a similar taste to the flavor the company is trying to put forth. Who is to say that snail spit doesn’t taste like blackberries?

Spindrift lets you know what you are getting, and I feel that due to the percentage listed they use more of it than most companies, which is apparent also in the taste. This can says it contains 7” juice and that comes from the “fresh orange juice” and “alphonso mango puree” listed in the ingredients. Sure that little bit of juice gives you 1g of sugar per can, but isn’t they tiny amount worth knowing what’s in your drink let alone how superior it tastes. It still very much tastes like a seltzer and not a sparkling juice, and that is the way it should be in this beverage. Both orange and mango are present enough to be noticed and taste real, but still faint enough to drink it without thinking about it.

Website
http://www.spindriftsoda.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on May 10th, 2017
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Dunkin' Donuts Fruited Iced Tea Blackberry with Strawberries

Dunkin' Donuts Fruited Iced Tea Blackberry with Strawberries

Ahh. A nice, opaque tea in the morning. What better thing to start off the day? That's what I said to myself as I miraculously got my dumb son to school on time and still had time to buy this maroon treat for myself.

What is it? Well it's unsweetened black tea with an undisclosed amount of blackberry puree in it and some assorted chunks of strawberries. It's also available for a limited time so I thought, "I need to get this before it's too late!" as if I didn't get it, I would regret it for the rest of my life like the time that I wanted to see DJ Rashad in Toronto but couldn't find anyone to go with me and he died the next day. That type of regret.

She's good, though. I think there is so much puree that you can't taste any tea, though. "Problem" with that is that the puree itself is so good that you almost don't care and then hate yourself for saying such apathetic things about tea, the lifeblood of everywhere but America, who, ironically and allegedly, runs on Dunkin'. Every once in a while you're treated to a bullet to the back of your throat disguised as mushed up strawberry that is more fun than gross. If you might like tea, like fruit juice and enjoy working on your cheek muscles, this is a great summer drink for you.

Website
http://www.dunkindonuts.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Chunky, Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 10th, 2017
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