Hydro One True Green Tea

Hydro One True Green Tea

Lot's of science in this bottle. Not a lot of ingredients but the ingredients in there are very much one of two things:
1: Scientific names for simple ingredients.
2: Scientific ingredients.

Either way let me put into terms that idiots like you and myself can understand:
This is lightly sweetened green tea. It's ultra-slightly bitter like a green tea should be and some of that bitterness is from the Reb A/Stevia alternative sweetener. It has zero calories and doesn't taste like something your divorced aunt would give you the two times a month you visit her disgusting apartment.

There are a whole lot of empty promises about how this will help you lose weight but it's all based off the promise that you will continuously buy this drink in hopes that you lower your calorie count. While it's not a false claim, this drink doesn't do anything but quench your thirst. It tastes good. I would drink it again but I wouldn't hold it to any sort of standards or promises. That would be ignorant of me. I'm stupid, not ignorant.

Website
http://https://hydroonebeverages.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Rebaudioside
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 3rd, 2018
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Blume Honey Water Ginger Zest

Blume Honey Water Ginger Zest

I’m sure this is not something that a beverage company would ideally want to be associated with, but this would be perfect if you were feeling under the weather. It doesn’t really make me think of cough drops or anything like that, it just seems like it would be a nice relief if you had a sore throat or a cold. It’s honey, ginger, and lemon; that just screams soothing to me. If you drank this hot I feel like it could cure anything, well you know any sort of minor ailment, not a life threatening disease. It’s not magic.

The honey is very strong in this and the ginger has just the slightest burn to it. It’s certainly not a gulping beverage, but I cold sip on this all day long. Whether I am sick, or just looking for something that tastes delicious, this drink is there for me.

Website
http://https://www.blumehoneywater.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Honey
Categories
Ginger, Other/Weird, Water
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on October 3rd, 2018
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Hydro One REVd Blueberry & Pomegranate

Hydro One REVd Blueberry & Pomegranate

When things clearly say “Sugar Free” on them it makes me nervous. Artificial sweeteners should be filed directly in the filth bin and natural zero calorie sweeteners, while slightly more palatable, are really no prize. Typically I would prefer zero added sweeteners to something with zero calories. Hydro One has things worked out that make their products exceptions though. The beverages are sweetened with a mixture of Xylitol and Stevia, but for some reason they don’t cut through the flavor of the drink like nearly every other “diet” beverage out there. I believe that reason is the addition of cinnamon. I don’t know if it just happens to fall in the same taste spectrum, but where I would normally taste any variety of diet flavors, all I really get is a faint cinnamon taste. I am really on board with that.

As with the other flavors, to me this is a better version of a diet Vitamin Water. There is definitely a water base, as it is not thick like juice. The blueberry and pomegranate are not super strong, but are there more than enough to give it a proper flavoring. Of course there is that cinnamon riding through it all as well. This is a good option for those watching their sugar or calorie intake.

Website
http://https://hydroonebeverages.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Xylitol
Categories
Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on October 1st, 2018
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Polar Seltzer Jr. Pixie Lights

Polar Seltzer Jr. Pixie Lights

Polar’s Seltzer Jr line is back (from what I hear, to stay) and this time they brought two new friends with them. One of them is this little fella that goes by the name Pixie Lights. From the picture on the tiny can one would assume that the New England based company is insinuating that fireflies are really just little pixies, riding around on tiny lightbulbs. Don’t worry though, they wear itsy bitsy crash helmets so it’s all done safely.

Due to the name I really wanted this to somehow taste like Pixie Stix candy or you know like Red Bull without any sweetener added to it. I knew I wasn’t going to be getting what I hoped before I even took a sip. Could something really taste like flavored granulated sugar though that has no sugar in it? In reality what I got was a lightly floral citrus taste that I can’t really pinpoint. It’s not lemon, lime, orange or grapefruit. Maybe it’s something exotic like starfruit. Is starfruit a citrus? It could maybe be the seltzer taste/bubbles that keeps making me think of citrus. Whatever it is it’s light and refreshing , which is what I want out of seltzer.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 28th, 2018
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Matcha Love Unsweetened Japanese Matcha + Vanilla

Matcha Love Unsweetened Japanese Matcha + Vanilla

This is not what I expected. It's less bitter and bold than other matcha I have drink/drank/drunk. You don't get a lot of really anything. It tastes like "tea" and a watered down tea at that. It tastes like a green tea but it's only slightly bitter. I don't know about this, man. It's like they only had a little bit of mix and had to make a lot of drinks and they had to stretch it out. "Hey kids, I've got one pack of single serve Kool-Aid and there are four of us so we have to make due, alright?" While I don't mind, and have been known to water down my own drinks, this seems like a wasted attempt. Also, wut vanilla? It's not bad but it's also not much of anything and certainly nothing to write home about. Do we have to change that phrase? Are enough people writing home that we need to keep it? The alternative, which is unfortunate is something abysmal like, "This drink is nothing to text your daddy about." Begrudging and shuttering.

Website
http://www.itoen.com/matcha_love
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 27th, 2018
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McCol Spark Up!

McCol Spark Up!

This is simply not my speed. I originally wanted to say that it is simply not good, but there has to be someone out there who likes this weirdness and he tastes are subjective. I really want to like this, it’s an odd twist on orange soda, in that it tastes malted and like someone dissolved a handful of all natural vitamins in it. It has a harshness to it that I really like and while it’s in your mouth it tastes great, but as soon as you swallow and breathe it gets a bit gross. I feel like this is what orange beer would taste like if you removed all the alcohol. I do have a feeling that if there was a case of this just sitting around, I would keep drinking it because it was there and eventually grow to truly enjoy it. All hail the learning curve.
Ps. I just looked on line, since I can’t read the can and it’s a barley soda, so that’s the flavor and not malt, apologies.

Country
Korea
Sweetener
???
Categories
Other/Weird, Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 25th, 2018
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Hydro One REVd Pineapple & Mango

Hydro One REVd Pineapple & Mango

What sits before me is a healthy sports drink that doesn’t taste like you are drinking the vat of chemicals that the Joker fell into. Sure, it has a slight diet edge to it, but it comes nowhere near the artificial taste of its contemporaries. Yes I know that their Bode line is their actual sports drink, but this is a beverage that falls under the same wheelhouse. If it makes you feel better, we can compare it to a Vitamin Water instead. Either way it has a great taste with zero sugar and zero calories. I believe their secret is that they have included a little cinnamon that really masks the stevia extract that is used to sweeten it. The cinnamon isn’t very strong, but what is there sits right where the diet flavor normally hits me.

I wanted to say that the pineapple mango aspect of it could just be listed as “tropical,” but once I separated the cinnamon I can make out both specific flavors. It was formulated to support diabetic health, but against all odds, it’s just plain tasty. I never thought I would ever find myself truly enjoying a zero calorie beverage of this sort, but here I am at 10am on Monday sipping away.

Website
http://https://hydroonebeverages.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Rebaudioside
Categories
Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 24th, 2018
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UCC Melon Creamy Soda

UCC Melon Creamy Soda

I came across this while looking for drinks to gift to Engineer Jay Zubricky at GCR audio while my band was working on our new record. I saw it and though, “Awesome, a green melon cream soda. Jay loves honeydew and while I’m sure it will be super sweet, it will probably also be tasty.” Little did I know at the time instead of it being a typical vanilla cream soda, it was actually a “creamy soda” meaning that it is soda with milk in it. Now that is strange. It certainly tastes like a regular, cheap, cream soda that has some melon flavoring added to it, but the milk adds another dimension to it, that I can’t 100% get behind. It leaves a weird taste in my mouth and it also changes the viscosity of the beverage and makes it a little thicker than I was expecting. I was able to drink a few sips. Jay drank more than I did and seemed to enjoy it more as well. I guess all drinks are not for everyone.

Website
http://www.ucc.co.jp/eng/
Country
Japan
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Milk, Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 20th, 2018
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Belvoir Fruit Farms Cucumber & Mint Lemonade

Belvoir Fruit Farms Cucumber & Mint Lemonade

Let’s get things sorted, shall we. First off, this is a company with a French name, which means “beautiful.” Secondly, it is not a French company, and they actually reside in the United Kingdom. Finally, this is a flavor that leads my mind to not drift to neither France, nor the UK, but instead to the American South. This is something I could imagine being sipped on the porch of a fancy plantation in a time when racism ran rampant. Wait, am I talking about the 1800s, or 2018? Garbage humans aside, this is one hell of a beverage. It’s as refreshing as anything on an oppressively hot summer day.
Something about the cucumber and mint gives it an almost pickle smell, but trust me that is nowhere to be found in the taste (as pointed out by recording engineer Jay Zubricky). This is pure luxury in a sipable format. It is mostly cucumber and mint, in a good way that does not resemble chewing gum one bit. I had thought that just being at that point would be wonderful, and the added lemon seemed like overkill, but I was wrong, it adds something wonderful to the mix. It hides around the edges and gives it the little bump it needed to become an ultimate summer beverage.

Website
http://www.belvoirfruitfarms.co.uk/
Country
United Kingdom
Sweetener
Beet Sugar
Categories
Lemonade, Soda Pop, Sparkling
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 18th, 2018
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Polar Seltzer Pineapple Pomelo

Polar Seltzer Pineapple Pomelo

I think there should be an APB on the scientists over at Polar. How can one company come up with so many different flavors in such a short period of time? Surely there are unsafe work conditions and inhumane amount of hours. Flavors come out and, look; I've got my ear to the ground when it comes to new drinks, especially Polar. I can't keep up.

Pineapple pomelo. It was good. I say "was" because, much like the Hall and Oates song, she's gone. It wasn't the best. The pineapple was good and I might suggest that they have left it there. The pomelo didn't taste like much. It didn't add a whole lot of flavor. Side-by-side I might have been able to tell a different. It was not bad and I would get it again because of my love of pineapple, maybe just to pay more attention to where the pomelo lies in the mix.

This is good. Keep your jobs, wildly overworked flavor scientists.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 12th, 2018
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