Dry Sparkling Rainier Cherry

Dry Sparkling Rainier Cherry

I’m complained on here, a stupid amount of times, that companies should just lower the amount of sugar they use instead of using zero calorie sweeteners. Sure, they save you calories, but it’s at the cost of the taste of the beverage. Dry does exactly what I have suggested. To be fair they have been doing it since before I vocalized my thoughts. This can of soda has less than half the sugar that a “normal” soda would. For a lot of their flavors this practice really works wonderfully. Unfortunately this one just does not taste right to me. There is a natural sweetness in cherries, and it’s lost in tis translation. It’s one of the few soda flavors that I like being really sweet. Actually a middle ground would be perfect. This tastes more like actual cherries than most sodas, but I could use more of the sweetness from a typical cherry pop. Taking all of that into consideration if I had a six pack of these I’m pretty sure by the end I would become acclimated with it and would have no issues once my brain/taste buds adjusted.

Website
http://www.drysoda.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Pure Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 15th, 2017
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La Croix Sparkling Water Berry

La Croix Sparkling Water Berry

If I were to substitute all of the cans of seltzer water that I drink with La Croix brand, I would have to be a rich man. Perhaps that is just because the amount I drink is so obscene, but these cans are at least double the price of the 12-packs of Polar I normally purchase. Do you know what though? It’s totally worth it. I love Polar, but La Croix put out the most flavorful seltzers I have ever tried. They have figured out a way for high quality fruit flavors to shine though without any sweeteners, which makes it zero calories. You could drink case after case of this stuff and not feel terrible about yourself. I bet you would have the most righteous burps too.

There is no mistaking this, it is most certainly a sparkling berry beverage. As long as you are not some sort of savage that needs your drinks to be more sugar than liquid, it is incredibly enjoyable.

Website
http://www.lacroixwater.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 12th, 2017
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Titan Tea 50/50 Lemonade & Black Tea

Titan Tea 50/50 Lemonade & Black Tea

I’m going to change an old adage and instead of “A chain is only as strong as its weakest link” I’m going to start saying “An Arnold Palmer is only as strong as its weak lemonade.” This could have been the world’s best iced tea (it’s not it pretty average), but since the lemonade aspect of it is fairly unremarkable the whole thing just kind of falls apart. I don’t understand what the problem is. Everything in here is organic and they use real lemon juice, but that part of this concoction tastes weak and fake. Actually, it tastes more like someone brewed a bag of black tea, mixed in a squirt of lemon and then put it in the fridge. It tastes like the tea my grandma used to drink, but cold. It’s more of a lemon tea than a 50/50.
It’s not horrible, but I just had higher hopes for this and it ended up being average. Sure, it’s better than Lipton garbage, but I feel it could have been out of this world good.

Website
http://titantea.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Fair Trade Certified Cane Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea, Lemonade
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 11th, 2017
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Wonderslim Pudding/Shake Chocolate Cream

Wonderslim Pudding/Shake Chocolate Cream

We were contacted to participate in the 2017 “Shake it Off” challenge, where the company sent us three different shake mix products and we are to write about them and compare them. While they are a couple years too late for the name of the challenge to be timely, I’m always up for a challenge, especially when chocolate is involved. Do you think Taylor Swift’s legal team is going to get involved? They are quite litigious, right? Did I make that up?

For my first tasting I’m going with the WonderSlim Chocolate Cream. This is a meal replacement powder that can be made into a shake, or pudding. The outcome just depends on how much water you add to the powder. Whichever way you choose to consume this it has 15g of protein, 24 vitamins and minerals and comes in at only 100 calories. There are A LOT of ingredients in here. Most of which I have never heard of before. I’m sure they all serve some sort of dietary purpose, but I still get wary when there are so many hard to pronounce things in my food.

Flavorwise this has a nice chocolate taste to it, but unfortunately there is an undertone of diet-ness due to the sucralose used as one of the sweeteners. While you’re drinking it, you don’t really notice it too much, but a little while after you swallow that unmistakable flavor starts taking over your mouth. If the sucralose were not present this would be downright delicious. It is slightly chalky, but nothing too terrible and it’s easy to look past that.

Overall this is better than I would have expected from a company named WonderSlim.

Website
http://www.wonderslim.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Fructose
Categories
Diet, Mix/Concentrate
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 10th, 2017
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Private Selection Hopped Graepfruit Cream Soda

Private Selection Hopped Graepfruit Cream Soda

This soda falls under the category of so obvious that we missed it all of this time. How has the whole of humanity existed for so long without someone saying, “Hey let’s mix grapefruit with cream soda?” Even as I type that out it seems strange, but how many of us love the combination of orange and vanilla? The creamsicle taste is a standard. If one citrus fruit can provide such great results, why have we never tried another? Well, that is until now.

This is a knock your socks off flavor. It’s so familiar, with just enough of a twist that makes you truly appreciate each sip. The base is a fantastic cream soda that would get rave reviews on its own. Adding the grapefruit is just icing on the cake. It’s not overly sour, but it is certainly different than an orange cream. Actually, after tasting this I don’t know if I see a need for orange cream to exist anymore, at least not in the spotlight. This should be the go to flavor.

I’m not sure what the “Hopped” is all about, as I don’t taste anything other than the cream and grapefruit in here. That’s fine. I didn’t want anything else anyways. This is perfection.

Website
http://www.privateselection.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 8th, 2017
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Kristian Regale Lingonberry-Apple

Kristian Regale Lingonberry-Apple

Sometimes when you’re a non-drinker, you still want to pretend like your fancy. You dress up, get yourself a fancy bottle of sparkling juice, get out the nice glass wear and play at being adults who are better than your current station in life. Then there are other times when you get that same bottle, dress like you always do and just take swig after swig directly from the bottle at a party. Can you guess which category I fell under? I’m not one for delusion, I’m happy with my place in life, and I most certainly love fancy drinks. This is most certainly fancy.

If Ikea is any indication, lingonberries run rampant in Sweden and they are used to flavor everything. I really wish this were true, but when I visited that country I don’t think I saw anything of that flavor. It’s a shame because it’s a fantastic tasting fruit. Oh, you say you’ve never tasted lingonberry before? Well let me let you in on a secret; you know the classic red Swedish Fish candy that you love? Yep, that’s lingonberry flavored. That’s actually the perfect way to describe this. It tastes like someone somehow juiced a huge bag of Swedish Fish and mixed it with apple juice. The whole thing comes off not tasting like candy at all, but coming off as very natural, because you know it is an actual fruit, and not really made from chewy confections.

This is very likely the greatest sparkling juice I have ever tasted. Sure, I’d like to think I could do without the added beet sugar, but who knows maybe that would have offset the flavor balance. I do not want to upset the balance. They have it perfect.

Website
http://kristianregale.com/
Country
Spain
Sweetener
Beet Sugar
Categories
Juice, Sparkling
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 8th, 2017
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Kill Cliff Cold Brew Coffee Mojo Rising

Kill Cliff Cold Brew Coffee Mojo Rising

This drink is an example of the type of coffee I do not like. Even though it is cold brewed and has coconut cream in it, it still tastes bitter and kind of harsh. Sure the cream is smooth, but the coffee taste itself reminds me of garbage, burnt gas station coffee. How can something cold brewed taste burnt? Freezer burn? In addition to that the use of erythritol/stevia as a sweetener leaves another off putting taste in the mix. I really wanted to like this because I’ve been at least moderately on board with their other products, but this just falls short for me.

Website
http://www.killcliff.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Erythritol
Categories
Coffee
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 7th, 2017
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Apple & Eve Farmers Market Bountiful Berry

Apple & Eve Farmers Market Bountiful Berry

I made it through New Year’s Eve.2016 was behind me. I finished up the party I was DJing (not in the turd way. I play dumb old music people actually want to hear not electronic noise). I started driving home. I sneezed. That was the end of everything. That one little sneeze shut down my body. I made it home, climbed into bed and violently shook to the point that I wondered if I was having a seizure for hours. The next day I was conscious for maybe two a half hours. This morning I woke up and my body was ready for nourishment again. I drank tons of water and this carton of juice. While the water made it so I wasn’t like a dried out husk, this juice gave me a reason to keep on living and not just wither away.

This is nothing but juice, the whole juice and nothing but the juice (again). There are seven different fruits that make it up and I love each and every one of them for the hope they have inspired in me. Well, maybe not banana. They are still gross. Apples, strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, and pineapple; I salute you and your delicious ways. It’s really all of the berries doing the work though. You can taste a faint hint of the apple juice base, but the pineapple is eluding my taste buds.

I’m on my way to recovery and I’m sure several more cartons of this will help me on my way. Maybe I’ll even be on solid foods again someday.

Website
http://www.appleandeve.com/
Country
Canada
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 2nd, 2017
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Arizona Asia Plum Green Tea

Arizona  Asia Plum Green Tea

This is an old favorite from my pre-Thirsty Dudes days. Man those were different times. I drank so much sugar back then and never thought twice about it. How was I not gigantic? I would easily drink at least three Arizona tall boys a day, not counting the other garbage I consumed. This wasn’t a constant back then, but that was only because it didn’t come in a 99 cent can and I only splurged on the extra half dollar when I was feeling special. It was a treat that I gave myself.

Most of my favorite drinks from that time period don’t really hold up for me anymore, because my body has changed and so much sugar makes me feel like garbage. Taking one sip of this brought me right back though. It was the early 2000s. All I did was play music and hang out with my friends. I was in my 20’s it was allowed. Hell, it’s still kind of what I do now. I had terribly dyed black hair and for some reason I tucked my t-shirts in. I was a catch I tell ya. I also existed on seemingly nothing but pizza and tacos, yet I never gained a pound. I wouldn’t say it was a better time, but it was a different time and I had my fun. I drank my teas and didn’t think twice about it. It’s no longer the cost that makes this a treat, but the amount of sugar (45g/bottle). It tastes sweet, but not to an extent that it hurts my teeth. It has that classic Arizona green tea flavor, that isn’t quite what other green tea tastes like, but it’s wonderful. On top of that the Asia plum adds just the right amount of flavor. I’ve had other Asian beverages that said they were plum and they tasted like moldy meat. This is the opposite of that. Wait, would that be fresh veggies? It’s not that, but it is delicious. I hope this flavor makes a comeback because you don’t see it much these days.

Website
http://drinkarizona.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 31st, 2016
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Classic Cafe Bold Cold Coffee Salted Caramel

Classic Cafe Bold Cold Coffee Salted Caramel

Does anyone else get weirded out when a company has zero presence on the internet? If it weren’t for one distributor carrying this I would have had no choice but to believe that I was drinking ghost coffee. The supernatural is the only logical explanation when things don’t exist on the internet, correct?

We let me tell you, if this is what ghosts have to drink to get them moving for a long night of haunting, dying might not be that bad. I mean serious coffee drinkers may not agree, but those of us who share coffee tastes with children will be all about this. Even though it is most definitely not mocha I would liken this to the chocolate milk of coffee. The flavor of the coffee isn’t too overpowering, and it’s gota nice sweetness to it. It takes more like coffee flavored milk than an actual cup of coffee, but I guess that is what a latte is supposed to be. For me the best part of this is that the caramel isn’t too strong. That is one flavor that companies need to learn to be more reserved with. Everyone goes overboard with their caramel use and it’s just too much. In here it is just right.

If for some unknown reason you are trying to get your kids into drinking coffee, this would be a good gateway drug. I don’t know why you would want to do such a thing. Maybe you’re really into the idea of them sitting at dinners all night talking about nothing and drinking an obscene amount of caffeine in-between smoke breaks. Do kids still do that?

Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 31st, 2016
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