Poland Spring Nature's Blends Raspberry
Did you know that Poland Spring is from an actual town in Maine, and obviously not from the country of Poland? I really hope you didn't think it was from Poland, because I'm sure it would cost more than $.30 per bottle if it were, you know with duties and taxes and all. Now don't you feel stupid?
Did you also know that Poland Spring is owned by Nestle? On top of that they own a buttload of other bottled water brands, which include Arrowhead, Calistoga, Deer Park, Ice Mountain, Ozarka and Zephyrhills. It's all crazy go nuts university in here.
Since these are all regional brands I wonder if any of the other brands are also releasing a "Nature's Blends" line? I'd be okay with that. This is a fairly simple beverage. It's water, cane sugar and white grape/raspberry juice concentrate. It has a decent fruit flavor, but I could do with even less sugar in it. I am a crotchety old man after all. There is only 5% juice in here, but they label it as spring water with real juice beverage, so it's okay. Basically it tastes like Vitamin Water without all the vitamins. It's really ridiculous that Vitamin Water has become my basis for comparison for so many drinks, but it's out there and everyone knows it. So there you have it.
- Website
- http://www.polandspring.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Pure Cane Sugar
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper 2 weeks, 2 days ago
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Bigelow Organic Green Tea Mango Lychee
Bigelow is basically Arizona's wiser, older brother. Actually Bigelow started in the late 40's and Arizona first burst onto the beverage scene in 1992, so does that make Bigelow the distinguished grandfather in this game? Whatever the genealogy is they decided to have a family outing in 2008, and it's still going to this day.
Bigelow is older, thus they are wiser and always use cane sugar in their ready to drink teas. It's a little thing that I love and respect them for. They also like to take chances with weird flavors, like this mango lychee. I guess Bigelow does come out as the grandfather in this little family tree, as we all know lychee tastes like old lady perfume smells, so perhaps he used it in homage to his late wife. Now let's take a moment of silence for the dearly departed.
This plays out like an Arizona green tea, with cane sugar instead of HFCS. It's uncanny how similar it tastes. You even get the same taste when you inhale after swallowing. I really with Arizona had a green tea tall boy with real sugar. The world would be a better place if that existed. It doesn't so I'll just default to grandpa B.
The mango and lychee flavors aren't overpowering at all. This is firstly a green tea, and secondly a fruit tea. I love it and wish it were more readily available, but you know those darn kids today.
- Website
- http://www.bigelowtea.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Iced Tea
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper 2 weeks, 2 days ago
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Calypso Lemonade Tropical Mango
As Mike loves to point out, I am not the largest supporter of lemons. When I get water in a restaurant, I never ask for them. If they get put in anyways I always take them out without giving them a squeeze. This makes my ladyfriend happy, as she loves them and doubles up in her drink. I also prefer my iced teas sans lemon, which according to “big tea” is unheard of. They are always putting lemon juice in their teas, and I think a lot of the time it is distracting, and I would just rather taste the tea.
Even though I have a general disinterest in lemons, I will always have a soft spot for decent lemonade. I think my problem is that in most drinks there is either just a little bit of lemon that makes it annoying (I would rather have the flavor be strong) or they use some weird lemon that makes the beverage taste like cleaner. Lemonade suffers from neither of those things. When done properly it is tart/sour with a nice pleasant sweetness to it. It sounds like those are conflicting things, but I’m sure you all know what I mean.
Calypso makes lemonade the way I like it. They concentrate on a great tasting base that could stand on it’s own as a quality lemonade. That is a very important concept that many companies overlook. They cheap out on their lemonade or tea, and just expect the extraneous flavor to work overtime. Calypso starts with a great lemonade and adds great flavoring on top of that. In this specific flavor they add mango puree concentrate, so it actually tastes like mangos and not fake.
As your drink doctor I must insist that if they temperate is ever over 90 degrees that you drinks lemonade, and specifically Calypso when it is available.
- Website
- http://www.kingjuice.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Lemonade
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper 2 weeks, 3 days ago
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Herbal Mist Tea made with Yerba Mate Raspberry
There is a certain specialness that comes along with yerba mate tea. It has its very own earthy flavor that you just don't get with normal tea. When you get a drink that tastes this way, and you know exactly what the flavor is, you feel like you're in the inner circle, and all the dullards are on the outside looking at you slack jawed. In that moment, you know tea and you understand it completely.
Unfortunately you don't get to be in that moment with this iced tea. It is made yerba mate, but it's blended with black tea and 55g of cane sugar. The glorious taste of mate is nowhere to be found. It tastes like a slightly upscale, regular raspberry iced tea. There is nothing wrong with the flavor per say, I just feel a little disappointed that I didn't get to be all snooty while drinking mate.
- Website
- http://herbalmist.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Iced Tea
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper 2 weeks, 3 days ago
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Celebri Tea Natural Green Tea Pomegranate Blueberry
Did you see that? You didn't? Oh man. You missed it! You didn't see who that was? Oh man. It was Vincent D'onofrio; the greatest actor of our time. Uh, yes I do mean that. You know what...I'm going back. He deserves to hear about how awesome he is and how I was truly sad about Criminal Intent being off the air. I don't care that him and Eames didn't get together. They are a great team. I've got this bottle of Celebri Tea and since he is a celebrity...see what I'm doing here? I'm going to give it to him. Stay here.
Mr. D'onofrio. I've got this bottle of tea for you and I wanted to say thank you for your years of hard work on Law & Order. I really think you are a fantastic actor and although I know you were great in Adventures in Babysitting and Full Metal Jacket, I really think you came into your own on Criminal Intent. I just wanted to come over here to give you this bottle of tea as a thank you for your years of service to television. Why yes, sir. There is a sip taken out of it. It's like ninety degrees out here and I didn't plan on seeing you. This is all I have on me. A drink with a couple sips taken out of it. I'm giving the rest to you. I'm not sick or anything and look, it's still cold. Come on, Vince. It's really good. It's really bitter like a green tea should be and for the first time in a long time the Stevia isn't overpowering and lets the flavors really do their thing. It's fruity and is overall a pretty fantastic tea.
I'm just going to leave it here on this bench and leave you with this; you are a wonderful man and I'm happy to have met you. Please tell the rest of the cast that they were all spectacular and I was sad to see them go. Seriously, dude. Drink that tea. I don't want it to go to waste. If you...Vincent. If you are not going to drink it...fine. You know what? I'm taking it. It's so hot here. Jesus. What is this place? The center of the sun? Vinnie, you're great but I can't stand this heat. Take care of yourself.
- Website
- http://www.drinkcelebritea.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Iced Tea
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman 2 weeks, 4 days ago
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Towne Club Vanilla Cream
In the burned out city of Detroit it's good to know they still have a couple of things going for them. Okay, all I can really think of is the Motown museum, and tons of rad abandoned places to explore, if you are in to that sort of thing. I guess they also have this somewhat decent line of sodas that is made right in the 48234. (Oh yeah, they also have Faygo, which to paraphrase 7 Seconds is "Not just clowns fun.")
If this came in a can or plastic bottle it would be nothing but a generic, run of the mill cream soda. There is really nothing remarkable about it at all, but something about it coming in a glass bottle that makes it seem a little more special. It's pretty syrupy and has a fairly strong vanilla flavor, but it's pretty much what you would expect. The picture of a float on the label really makes me wish I had some vanilla ice cream, as I bet this would make one hell of a dessert beverage.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Categories
- Soda Pop
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper 2 weeks, 4 days ago
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Thirsty Buddha 100% All Natural Coconut Water
The stories and teachings have it all wrong. The tree that Gautama sat under that led him to become the Buddha was not a Bodhi tree as it was taught. In fact, the fat man was sitting under a coconut tree when he reached enlightenment. It's a good thing too, since reaching enlightenment can be truly dehydrating. Lucky for him the most hydrating beverage in the world hung directly over his head. So there you go: from enlightened to shaking a tree and dodging the fruits that descended towards his head within a couple of moments.
Several thousand years have passed since the glorious event and a company called Thirsty Buddha has arisen for a grand celebration in liquid form. All that is contained in this can is 100% all natural coconut water. There are no added sweeteners or preservatives, simply because they are not needed. This is delicious and refreshing; everything the Buddha needed on the day of his enlightenment. There are a lot of companies out there nowadays selling their versions of this "holy" drink, but most of them add extraneous ingredients that take away from the purity of what they create. They made mistakes, Thirsty Buddha did not.
To further offend the followers of Buddhism I shall leave you with the following perversion of faith an pop culture. Imagine the chorus of Destiny's Child's hit single Bootylicious with the lyrics changed to, "I don't think you're ready for this belly, cause his body's too Buddhalicious for ya babe."
- Website
- http://drinkthirstybuddha.com/
- Country
- Canada
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Coconut
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper 2 weeks, 4 days ago
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Cintron Iced Tea Strawberry Hibiscus
Don't tell Jay, but I'm just drinking this now. It's been over a year since we've had it and I've been saving it for, well, now I guess. Was it worth it? Not really. No. It's not bad but I wanted this to blow my socks off. I've got this strange idea of what hibiscus should taste like and it rarely does. I've had a couple drinks that are absolutely stellar but I really think that I, me, myself, know what hibiscus really is supposed to taste like.
That aside, here is this drink. For those that know what things are supposed to taste like, this is a good drink. It’s right on the fence between an iced tea and a juice. It's not bad at all. We've got hibiscus and then a strawberry aftertaste and then a moderately sweetened black tea sitting in the middle like the cream in an Oreo. I would love to have a strawberry hibiscus Oreos. I'm going to imagine that as I take my final sip of this long awaited bottle of iced tea. Sorry it's taken me so long, Jay.
- Website
- http://www.cintron21.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Iced Tea
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman 2 weeks, 5 days ago
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Xyience Xenergy Lemonade Raspberry
Zero calories, zero sugar and very little diet flavor. How do they do it? Science, that’s how. Or should I say Xyience? Non-carbonated energy drinks always throw me for a loop, but this one really works. It tastes like light lemonade, with just a touch of raspberry in it. If this were served to me on a hot summer day from a pitcher into a glass full of ice, I might think there was something a little weird about it, but I would never expect it to be an energy drink, and that is something that companies strive for, but rarely achieve. Leave it Xyience to come through.
Oh and by the way, it’s April in Buffalo and I already have my second sunburn of the year. There is going to be an epic battle this summer.
- Website
- http://www.xyience.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink, Lemonade
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper 3 weeks ago
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Runa Focused Energy Mint Guayusa
Lightly sweetened? Yes sir. Mint? Yeah, sure. Whatever the heck guayusa is? Throw it in. Together you have created something that I think you might be able to get at the side of the road from a Mayan. Do Mayans still exist? Did Mayans use guayusa? For some reason, this feels like something that happens in antique times. Olden times. Classic times. Dusty times.
This is a nice traditional tea taste with a very light, good, non-toothpasty, mint flavor. It's a bit earthier than a black or a green tea. It's drier and maybe more bitter, almost like a mate. It's good. I like this and it is both refreshing and not terrible for you.
I know nothing about the Mayans and for that I am sorry but I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt of being historically awesome at making tea. Do not take this as an insult. You are or were truly great at it.
- Website
- http://www.runa.org/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Iced Tea
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman 3 weeks, 1 day ago
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment