Chin Chin Coffee Blue Mountain Style

Chin Chin Coffee Blue Mountain Style

This is the last baby can of coffee I've got to review. It half makes me sad but between you and I, I've got extra duplicates at home that I can enjoy whenever I want.

I don't know why I like this stuff so much. It's the same review as it always is; it's sweet but not too sweet. It's smooth because of the milk (powder). This did taste a little different but I wouldn't be able to explicitly say, "Oh, that's a Blue Mountain right there." It's got a great coffee taste and is not bitter at all. It's good, though. I don't know why we filthy American's don't embrace stuff like this. This is sweetened, canned coffee. We love coffee here. Embrace it, turds. You'll love it. Why do I call you turds? Because this is my website, not yours. This is my soapbox. You don't talk to the man on the soapbox because he's got something important to say. I mean, he brought that box to make a statement and he's going to do it.

Go to your local Asian market and get this. It's not hard to find. Buffalo is hardly a metropolis. If you are in an equal sized city, you've got a bunch of markets. Just walk in, grab a couple cans, pay for them, and sit in your car and cry because your wife left you for a younger man. Also, drink this.

Website
http://enogee.com/Drink.php?ord=Bst&Drink=21&Title=ChinChin_-_Vitality_Boost_energy_drink_review
Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 27th, 2018
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Honey Bee Basil See Drink with Melon Flavor

Honey Bee Basil See Drink with Melon Flavor

This drink is just as overly sweet and weird as I thought it would be. Here’s a rule you can go by; if a beverage this this bright of a green, it will more than likely be sweeter than you want it to be. The thing is that this really tastes like honey dew though. I mean it tastes like if you cut up a melon and dumped the same amount of sugar on it that your grandmother would dump on her morning grapefruit (or was that just mine?). The thing is that the melon flavor is artificial, yet it doesn’t taste like candy as things like this tend to do. The basil seeds really do nothing. As far as I can tell they have no particular taste, and they tend to slip down your throat without you even realizing they exist.

I’ve been waiting patiently for a proper melon beverage to make its way to me (other than watermelon). This is a step in the right direction, but I really want straight up cantaloupe or honey dew juice. I guess I will just have to make do with this until my dreams come true.

Country
Thailand
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Other/Weird
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 26th, 2018
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Starbucks Doubleshot Energy Vanilla

Starbucks Doubleshot Energy Vanilla

I find it strange that while arguably being the largest coffee company in the US, Starbucks certainly seems to have a lot of ready to drink products that taste very little like coffee. I will admit that this has more of a coffee flavor than the vanilla Frappuccino, but any of their products that have milk in them seem to goa bit overboard with that particular ingredient. While I said the other beverage mentioned here tasted like a melted vanilla milkshake with a shot of coffee in it, this would be that with the number of shots doubled to a whopping two. It’s like dessert in a can. I just wish it has a slightly less milky taste to it. I want more coffee in these drinks and less cow sustenance. At least it doesn’t taste like someone mixed a Red Bull into a cup of coffee that would be Barf City, USA population me. It shares a lot of the same ingredients to give you a kick of energy, luckily it doesn’t share a flavor. In this order this is milk, vanilla, and coffee. Switch that up a bit and this could have been a very, very pleasant beverage, instead of being a notch above serviceable.

Website
http://www.starbucks.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee, Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 24th, 2018
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Chin Chin Coffee Cappuccino

Chin Chin Coffee Cappuccino

So much Taiwanese coffee. I have been sharing the "wealth" and turning people on my team on to the Chin Chin's and the Mr. Brown's of the world. This is good. I don't drink cappuccino. Does it normally have chocolate in it? Is it coffee beans or espresso beans? Who cares? It was good. It was as smooth as you would want plus that little bit of chocolate turned it into a nice little dessert after lunch. Thirty Helens agree that this cappuccino is worth the $0.79 I paid for it. I would have been able to drink the whole can but you know what? Share it with a friend. It's 9.1 ounces. It is fine, even if it is sweet. Hence, split the difference and make your friend happy. He just had to listen to you talk about your dumb kids for like fifteen minutes. The least you can do is offer him $0.395 worth of cappuccino. Plus, even in this day and age, saying that you will share cappuccino makes you sound like a real fancy pants. Tell your country mom and dad that you bought someone a cappuccino and you will impress them more than when you just barely passed high school and got a solid 2.3 GPA in college. Let's face it, if you were truly bound to do great things, you wouldn't need to impress them with phrases like "I bought my roommate a cappuccino." and "I just got promoted to assistant manager at the candle store, daddy."

Website
http://enogee.com/Drink.php?ord=Bst&Drink=21&Title=ChinChin_-_Vitality_Boost_energy_drink_review
Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 22nd, 2018
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Mr. Brown Iced Coffee Macadamea Nut

Mr. Brown Iced Coffee Macadamea Nut

Mr. Brown. What's wrong? Why are you sweating? Come into my office. I heard you yelling at my receptionist. What's going on? There was a murder? What happened? A stabbing? Mr. Brown. That's a very intimate way to murder a man. I'm pretty sure the last time we spoke I told you not to murder someone, didn't I? That's what did it? I put the idea in your head? Don't put this on me, Mr. Brown. You are the one that stabbed someone. How many times? Seventy two times? Who was it? Your gardener? What did he do? Trim your topiary incorrectly? He formed it into a what? A wiener?! Mr. Brown, that's no reason to stab a guy six dozen times. Well I don't know what type of service I can offer you but...oh...you know what? Good thing you came in here. I wanted to talk to you about something. What? Yes, I think those are police cars. Hey I wanted to tell you that I tried this Macadamia Nut iced coffee and it's some of your best work. Sure you can lock the door. Take a seat, Mr. Brown. You're making me nervous. I'm trying to tell you that I really liked this iced coffee. It's smooth, like I would expect anything else from you but the nuttiness is very prevalent and enjoyable. I would never tell you to change your cans or serving sizes but it was hard not to open another one. I know what's right for me and if I have a second can of your coffee, I'd be bouncing off the walls much like you are doing. Why are you so nervous? Oh, right, the stabbing. You can try to jump out the window but we're on the second floor. You have a nice suit on. It would be a shame if you scuffed it up when you hit the ground. You think you can do it? You're really going to have to tuck and roll to pull this off, Mr. Brown. You're going to do it? Well don't let me get in the way. I'll actually help you out with the window as the latch is a bit tricky. Well if you don't get caught are we still on for Saturday at the golf course? Alright. Oh, you have a plus one? Your other gardener? Is he a good golfer? Better than me? Mr. Brown, you're as good a comic as you are a murderer. Have a good one. I'll talk to you soon if you don't get in trouble. I think they're knocking down my office doors. Remember to bend at the knees. Take care, Mr. Brown.

Website
http://www.mrbrown.com.tw
Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 21st, 2018
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Chin Chin Coffee Classic

Chin Chin Coffee Classic

Something about this coffee takes me back in time, to a time that I never knew. The sunny 1970's. With every sip I feel my hair get greasier and my pants get wider. I feel the shag in the carpet get shaggier and all of a sudden all the walls have mirrors on them.

This coffee is sweet coffee with cream in it. Deal with it. Want black coffee? Get the hell out of my house. Get the hell out of my wood paneled house that all of a sudden plays nothing but Abba songs. It's not too sweet and neither the sugar nor the cream detracts from a decent coffee. I think some might think that it's too sweet but it's not going to put air holes in me ol' chompers. Is it going to win any awards? Probably not but I'm not going to turn it down when offered. Who is offering me Taiwanese coffee drinks in indestructible steel cans? No one. I need to find new friends.

Website
http://enogee.com/Drink.php?ord=Bst&Drink=21&Title=ChinChin_-_Vitality_Boost_energy_drink_review
Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 21st, 2018
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Rockstar Revolt Killer Grape

Rockstar Revolt Killer Grape

You absolutely know what you are getting yourself into when you grab one of these. If there was any question as to whether this was going to taste exactly like grape soda with melted candy in it, that goes out the window when you crack it open and that unmistakable scent floats up your nostrils. So the magic is not in the taste but in the calorie content. How is it that a 16oz can can (not the dance) contain 48g or sugar when it is sweetened with sucralose as well as sugar? What is the point of the sucralose at that point other than to distract from the grape sludge taste when it’s starting to warm up and you’re getting to the bottom third of the can? This is an odd product because it certainly feels like it would be enjoyed by children, but please don’t feed this stuff to kids. They are annoying enough as it is and I don’t need to deal with the mall hopped up on Grape Death (street name).

Website
http://www.rockstar69.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 20th, 2018
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Gatorade Flow Smooth Finish Watermelon Mist

Gatorade Flow Smooth Finish Watermelon Mist

Get the hell out of the way! The new, limited edition Gatorade's are here! What? What do you mean they're nothing special? What do you mean they just taste like regular Gatorade? What do you mean my fly is down? Man, why am I running then? When they say "Limited Edition" I feel the urgency in my bones and have to get it before it's too late. I guess they wouldn't take it away in less than a day so we can walk together. I'll buy you one.

So what do you think? Here's what I think and I'm not happy to say so. It just tastes like the same old Gatorade that's always existed. If they call it "Flow Smooth Finish," which is perhaps the most difficult phrase I've ever said, I might give them the benefit of the doubt and say that it might be smoother. Was I asking for a smoother Gatorade? No, but I suppose that it's always welcome. Why wouldn't you want the smoothest possible drink? Seems luxurious. As far as flavor goes, I know what a watermelon tastes like and this tastes like a candy watermelon just not as sweet. Maybe it falls between difference between a real watermelon and a fake watermelon. It's not bad and I am having no problem crushing this whole bottle.

When it's gone, it's gone. By the time it leaves, I'm sure there will be several other limited edition Gatorade's that come and go. It's not like they're hard to find. They sell them everywhere. We will watch the tides of Gatorade change like the seasons. Like toxic, watermelon and fruit punch flavored waves which shall bring upon the inevitable death of all mankind and organic life.

Website
http://www.gatorade.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 20th, 2018
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Mr. Brown Iced Coffee Vanilla

Mr. Brown Iced Coffee Vanilla

Mr. Brown, it’s so nice of you to return. It's been a while. How long has it been, old friend? Since 2013? Well it has been too long. Please, take a seat. What have you got for us today? Vanilla iced coffee? Well why don't you pour us a couple glasses and we'll get down to business.

This is nice. I see you haven't lost your edge in this game. This is good. It’s the same great coffee taste with the smoothness of some vanilla. I'm surprised you hadn't thought of this earlier. Just the right amount of sugar to have to be drinkable and still using those indestructible, adorable cans, I see. Mr. Brown. You've done it again. I don't know how you do it, but you've got quite the empire on your hands.

Thank you for stopping by and giving me a sneak peek at this new little number. I'm sure it will do very well for you, as the rest of your little drinks do. Get home safely and please, Mr. Brown, try not to murder anyone on the way home, alright, friend? I'll talk to you soon.

Website
http://www.mrbrown.com.tw
Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 19th, 2018
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Sail Away Nitro Cold Brew Coffee Sea Salt & Caramel

Sail Away Nitro Cold Brew Coffee Sea Salt & Caramel

If you are offering me hot coffee, it better have some sort of fancy flavoring to it, or else I am more than likely not going to drink it. Well, that just sounded rude. I’m not going to slap the mug out of your hand, or throw the hot liquid onto your person. I will simply say no thank you. If pressed I may add that I’m not a big coffee drinker. The thing is that while I’m not a fan of hot coffee, I do enjoy iced coffee, especially if it is cold brew. To me they are beverages that are in the same family, but have chosen different paths in life. Cold brew is simply a smoother coffee that even when unsweetened isn’t as bitter and harsh as its hot sibling. It’s a more pleasurable experience for me, and it shines a light on the aspects of coffee that I enjoy and hides the others in the shadows. Sail Away takes things one step further and uses nitrogen in their brewing with makes the coffee which makes it frothier/foamy. It gives it a texture similar to a latte, but without the “milk” in it. That certainly helps with my drinking experience. Also, it apparently gives the illusion of sweetness, or so I’ve read. Anything that tricks me thinking something is sweet without sugar (or more importantly zero calorie sweeteners) is a plus. Overall it magnifies the coffee’s actual flavor, or so I see it.

I’m not a huge caramel fan, so lucky for me that flavor isn’t very strong in here. Nor is the sea salt. Both are there in hints only, letting the coffee itself carry most of the workload. That’s the way I want it. For someone who isn’t a huge coffee fan, I still want my coffee drinks to actually taste like coffee. It’s the base and I want it to shine in a glorious way and that is what Sail Away has done with this product.

Website
http://sailawaycoffee.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Natural Cane Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 18th, 2018
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