Zeiglers Sparkling Cider

Zeiglers Sparkling Cider

So it's finally 2012. According to the Mayans it's the beginning of the end. Their highly accurate calendar ends on December 21, 2012. I for one say so be it. The end of the world has to be more exciting than most anything else this world has to offer. Have you ever seen disaster movies? There's never a dull moment. I'm rooting for earthquakes and tidal waves. A new ice age would be terrible. Who wants to be cold, even in death? I'm not saying one way or another if it's true, or if I really care either way. The Thirsty Dudes way is the path of apathy. Funnyman John Hodgman claims to have seen a Mayan calendar and it's secret is that it is full of sexy Mayan firemen. I wonder if those same firemen will usher in the impending apocalypse.

At the beginning of the possible end the only thing to do is to celebrate. I did so by DJing a party at Buffalo's finest dive bar, Mohawk Place. While a majority of the clientele were numbing themselves with beer and liquor, I was filling my bladder with sweet, sweet sparkling apple cider. I half expected it to be gross as I purchased it at a markdown store for a single dollar. Sometimes wonderful things come at a minimum price. This was a quality apple cider that actually tasted like cider and not just apple juice. Naturally sweet. Naturally delicious. This is the kind of sparkling cider we should use to shower the firemen when the end is neigh.

Website
http://www.zeiglers.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Cider, Sparkling
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 1st, 2012
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Zeiglers Wildberry Lemonade

Zeiglers Wildberry Lemonade

Today I spent another day tracking in the studio for the "new" album Failures' Union has been recording for almost two years. We apparently work slow as can be. I was early getting to the studio, so I hit up a supermarket that was close by and I bought a bunch of strawberries and this lemonade for everyone to enjoy. As it turns out everyone else were fools and I ended up eating all of the strawberries myself. It was really a whole mess of strawberries. Surely more than one person should eat in a single day.
I also apparently cannot be satiated when it comes to berries. I ate obscene amount of berries and then very happily delved into 64oz of berry flavored lemonade. I have no regrets. My lack of regrets could also be do to the fact that this is a spectacular beverage. The lemonade flavor isn't lost under the added fruit flavor. In fact the berries let the lemon shine in a whole knew way. The label shows a picture of a strawberry and a raspberry, but neither are present on the ingredients list (unless it's under natural flavors). Instead chokeberry juice is listed. I have no idea what that is, but it's apparently delicious. This is a distinctly berried flavored lemonade, and it's perfect for a hot summer day, or for spending 11 hours in a climate controlled room.

Website
http://www.zeiglers.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Lemonade
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 3rd, 2012
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Yuvia Pure Coconut Water

Yuvia Pure Coconut Water

Where do you get your coconuts from? Indonesia? What a poser. “Oh, I get my coconuts from the country that is the leading producer of them!” Brazil man, that’s where you should be getting them from. They produce only about 7% as many coconuts as Indonesia so they are of a higher quality, right. This is like craft coconut water, smaller batches means a better product? Oh, that logic doesn’t work out in this world. Well I still love those Brazilian coconuts. That’s why I drink Yuvia coconut water. It’s just the liquid from inside coconuts and vitamin C. I don’t know if I’m imagining it, but it tastes a bit sweeter than its competitors products and it’s all natural. It’s simple, it’s healthy, it’s hydrating and it’s refreshing. What else could you want from a pure coconut water, unless you want to crack the shell open yourself and put in the real work.

Website
http://www.drinkyuvia.com/
Country
Brazil
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Coconut
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on August 29th, 2015
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Yuvia Pure 100% Natural Coconut Water (Case of 12)

Yung-Ho Rice Drink Peanut

Yung-Ho Rice Drink Peanut

Peter loved peanut butter, or as his mom liked to call it “Peter Butter.” It started with PB&J sandwiches. Then he switched to straight peanut butted on bread, and lots of it. Before he knew it he was hooked on the stuff. He was dipping veggies on it. Eating it with dessert. He even became a regular at a local Thai restaurant because he could get peanut satay there. He consumed more peanut butter than any other substance and it was evident in his physical presence. His mother told him he had to cut down, or else he would turn out to be one of those people that you hear about on the news that is so obese that they can’t even leave their bed, and weeks pass before anyone even realizes they are dead. Peter did not want that to be his future, so he started cutting down on his peanut butter intake. It was hard because he loved the flavor so much. His mother worked out a recipe for a drink that would taste like peanut butter, but wouldn’t be so terrible health wise. She took rice milk and blended in some peanut butter. Sure it wasn’t exactly health food, but it filled the void that the lack of peanut butter had created in Peter’s life, while keeping things a tad better for him. At first Peter thought it was strange. He felt like he was drinking a can of the sauce that was on his peanut satay. The more he thought about it, the more it grossed him out. He didn’t want to drink sauce. Only degenerates and junkies did things like that. He thereby claimed that he was off the sauce. He didn’t want to be a peanut butter junkie anymore. He took the rest of his drink and gave it to the cat, which surprisingly loved it. It’s now been ten years and Peter has taken to lying to people about having a peanut allergy, just so he doesn’t have people tempting him with his old love.

ps. My cat totally starting drinking this and I had to physically restrain her to get her to stop. Cats love peanuts.

Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Other/Weird
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on May 10th, 2012
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Youthy Forever Passion for Cactus

Youthy Forever Passion for Cactus

When talking about wine people always mention how it’s good for you, and it’s recommended that you drink a glass a day. They forget to mention that wine smells like rotting corpses and from what I remember doesn’t horrible on top of it. It has been discovered that the thing that gives wine it’s anti-cancer and anti-aging properties is something called Resveratrol. Luckily for all of us with a sense of smell, taste and an alcohol free lifestyle the very same compound can be derived from grape seed extract.

Youthy Forever has taken Resveratrol and some actual grape seed extract and mixed it in with a whole mess of other fruits to create a juice that is as tasty as it is good for you. When you mix pineapple, pear, passion fruit and prickly pear you know you are in for a good time, especially since the ingredients added for health don’t have a weird chemical or gross taste to them. This just tastes like juice, as it should. There is no added sugar either. Sure, there is 32g of sugar in each bottle, but it’s natural sugar from the fruit they use and not refined or artificial garbage.

Ponce de Leon spent his life search Florida and whereabouts for the fountain of youth (what else is a conquistador to do?). He obviously wasted his time and energy in that hot sweaty soon-to-be state when all he needed to do was wait 300-400 years for this company to see the light of day. They have cracked the code, and it is delicious. No more bones made of dust for anyone willing to shell out the couple of bucks for a bottle!

Website
http://www.youthyforever.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 25th, 2014
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Young Energy Source Barley Tea Drink

Young Energy Source Barley Tea Drink

I don't know what was wrong with just calling it "Barley Tea". I don't know why they had to append "Drink" to the end of it. The only ingredients are mineral water, fructose, and sugar. Barley is probably in there somewhere, but there really isn't anything that would turn it into a "Tea Drink" instead of just a "Tea".

ANYHOW...

I bought this in the largest size possible, over 60oz, because I wanted it to taste like the Uni Barley Black Tea but it didn't and now I have to deal with 60+ ounces of regret.

That's a bit strong. It's not bad, it's just not what I wanted it to be. I wanted that smooth taste that I got with the other one. It heavily barley flavored and not so "chocolaty" like I described the Uni drink.

If you like the taste of barley, get a giant bottle. It's a very good, true flavor. I just wanted something different. I wonder if Uni makes a 60+oz bottle. I deserve it. I'm wonderful.

Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Fructose
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 16th, 2010
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Young Energy Source Plum Juice Drink

Young Energy Source Plum Juice Drink

Shit Sandwich.

Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Fructose
Categories
Juice
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 30th, 2011
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Yoo-Hoo Chocolate Drink

Yoo-Hoo Chocolate Drink

I find it baffling that in the 4+ years that we have been doing Thirsty Dudes we have yet to review Yoo-Hoo. It’s an American classic for cripes sake. When this was brought to our attention I started looking all over for a bottle or can of it, with zero luck. I feel like I would always come across it when I was out looking for other beverages to review, but when I’m finally in the market for it; zilch. I ended up settling for a pack of juice boxes. They aren’t what I really wanted, because they aren’t what I remember from my childhood, but I’ll take what I can get.

As a child I would have been perfectly happy being in the Shining if when those elevator doors opened an ocean of Yoo-Hoo came pouring out instead of blood. I would have sucked up as much of it as I could until I puked. Then, I would have moved to a pukeless area of floor Yoo-Hoo and then licked that up. Sure attempted murder would be just around the corner, but who can care about a thing like that when you’re covered in such a deliciously sweet chocolatey treat?

If you’ve never had Yoo-Hoo before I’m going to guess that you are under a certain age. When I was growing up this chocolate drink was all the rage. It’s essentially a version of chocolate milk, even though the dairy in it comes from whey and caseinate (from milk) and nonfat dry milk. You know what they are right to call it a chocolate drink, but it is very similar to chocolate milk, without being as gross.

I really thought this would be fairly disgusting now that I am an adult, and I don’t need cheap chocolate drinks in my life, but I have to admit, I still love it. There are way more ingredients in here than make me comfortable, but taste wise this is pretty darn good.

Website
http://www.yoo-hoo.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Other/Weird
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 23rd, 2014
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Buy Now
Yoo-Hoo Chocolate Drink - 24/11 oz. cans

Yon Ho Black Soybean

Yon Ho Black Soybean

This couldn't look more like chocolate milk. I knew it wasn't. I knew it. It just looked so much like it that I endlessly hoped that it did. So much. Then I took a sip and...bleh. It has a bit of an open, airy, slightly sweet, packing peanut taste. But it looks so much like chocolate milk. I gave it to my boss, because I'm a fantastic employee, and told him it was chocolate milk. Because of who I am and the fact that we've been working together for like five years, he knew I was up to something. Then he smelled it, confirmed I was up to something, drank it anyway, and for a minute, made that "ugh" sound.

Different tastes for different countries, I guess. If it was my job to sell this drink I might quit my job because I don't know anyone who would desire this drink, but I'm sure it's huge in Taiwan and I'm going to get a lot of foreign flack for this review. It is sweetened so I assume this is a casual drink, like pop would be to us. Taiwan? Anyone? I know there are a couple of you over there that can answer me.

Website
http://www.yonho.com
Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Soy
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 15th, 2012
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Yogu Time Melon

Yogu Time Melon

Did I think this was going to be gross? You bet'cha. Was it? Not entirely. I thought it was going to taste like the White Cow Dairy drinks I had a few months back. Lucky for me it didn't. It did taste like melon, but it didn't taste like a natural melon by any means. It tastes like if Bubblicious made a melon gum. The yogurt makes it smooth, but the immense amount of sugar sharpens it back up.

It starts out pretty good, punches you in the mouth, and then leaves you out to dry, which is actually a nice, calm, melon-y taste. These little bottles are only 10oz but it's way too much for me. I shared a good third of it with some one, let everyone have some and I've got about a third left and I don't know if I can/will/want to do it.

Even still, it's not terrible and I might be apt to buy another one. I know they have different flavors out there. I bet the strawberry would be awesome.

Country
Japan
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Yogurt
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 10th, 2011
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Yogu Time Melon 10 Fz
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