Batch Craft Soda Snozzberry

Batch Craft Soda Snozzberry

I know what you’re thinking. Do you think I didn’t think it? I’m going to guess that the majority of people whose eyes scan this bottle are thinking the same thing, “Do the snozzberries taste like snozzberries?” I’m going to go out on a limb and say yes. I have no idea what a snozzberry actually is, but after tasting this soda I will say that yes this should be the definitive definition for the fictional fruit. Unless you are talking about the crude joke that Roald Dahl actually meant by the word, then I will say no, this probably does not taste like that.

The is a little known fact that I hum/sing two bars of the Wonka song all the damn time, but no one ever realizes it. I normally don’t even know I’m doing it until I reach the end of the second bar. It’s a good melody, and this is an exceptional soda. I’m not exactly sure what berries they have combined to make this new variety, but gun to head I would say boysenberry and raspberry. It’s extremely good, and that is hard for a fruit flavored soda to achieve. I bet if they opened up a Wonka amusement park (far from timely) this would be a huge seller at the gift shop and they would never get a single complaint about it. Even bitter folks, who are dead inside would love it. I mean I did.

Website
http://www.batchsoda.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Pure Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 13th, 2017
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Bolthouse Farms 1915 Apple Romaine Cucumber Spinach Kale Lemon

Bolthouse Farms 1915 Apple Romaine Cucumber Spinach Kale Lemon

Do you see all of those flavors listed in the title of this drink? Well that is all that is in this bottle. There is absolutely nothing else, not even added water. It’s juice plain and simple. I am a huge fan of the current juice craze. Sure it can be ridiculously expensive, so I don’t indulge all of the time, but it is nice to know that people care about something healthy and simple and it’s out there for the taking.

Remember when I mentioned the cost of juice? If not you should probably see a doctor because it was two sentences ago and you have a real problem with short term memory. Well, Bolthouse cold-presses their 1915 juices, just like those expensive companies do, except they charge about half the price. These are normally around $4 and they seem to be on sale a decent amount for $3, which is not bad at all.

This version of the juice is their “greens” output. Sure, when you think about it this contains the ingredients to a salad, and drinking a salad doesn’t sound very appetizing, but I assure you that is not what this is like. Maybe if it had dressing included it would be. If that were the case I’m guessing a lot of people would vomit upon drinking it though. The lemon and apple in here give it enough of a fruity edge to balance out greens. You can still taste them, but in a good way. Not like you ordered a house salad with a blender at an Applebees. Is that on the menu still? This is a beverage you can feel good about drinking with no guilt and you don’t feel like you’re forcing it down for the sake of health. It’s enjoyable all around.

Website
http://bolthouse.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 13th, 2017
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Alta Palla Sparkling Grapefruit

Alta Palla Sparkling Grapefruit

Hey, sir! I see you over there drinking your can of Squirt! You listen to me mister! You throw that can right in the trash. It no longer deserves your time. I’m sorry if I came across angry, but I guess it does anger me to watch people drink inferior soda when the quality stuff is available. Here, have a can of this Alta Palla. Now tell me person who I just met, who I will now call friend, is that or is it not the best can of grapefruit soda that has ever passed your lips? It’s sweet, but still has the appropriate amount of bitterness. It tastes like dumping spoonfuls of sugar directly onto a grapefruit that has been cut in two. Part of me wishes there was a little less sugar in here, but then I think about how good as it tastes as it, and I’ll deal with the extra calories. Now, get back to work! You don’t get paid to talk to obviously crazy strangers on the sidewalk!

Website
http://www.altapalla.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Fair Trade Certified Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop, Sparkling
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 10th, 2017
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Califia Farms Matcha Almond Milk

Califia Farms Matcha Almond Milk

This very obviously has an almond milk base. In fact it appears to be more than just a base; it makes up the bulk of the taste. Got a matcha this has a very minimal green tea flavor. It really needs to be much, much stronger. It tastes like they took half a shot glass of green tea, poured it into a gallon jug and filled the rest with almond milk. Well, maybe it’s not that extreme, but it’s not anywhere near where I want it to be. It’s nice and creamy, but without the proper green tea taste, what’s the point?

Website
http://www.califiafarms.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Maple Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 7th, 2017
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Guayaki Yerba Mate Unsweetened Hibiscus Lime

Guayaki Yerba Mate Unsweetened Hibiscus Lime

I believe the Eurythmics wrote a song about this tea, or was it Heart? Billy Ocean? Taylor Swift? There are a lot of songs out there that deal with things being great in dreams and I can tell you if nothing else, this beverage is absolutely dreamy. Like most Guayaki teas the yerba mate is the main thing you taste, but this has a very faint floral, hibiscus taste to it with hints of lime. There is nothing in here that is overpowering. You know what though, dreams are never perfect though. There is always an aspect r two that seem out of place. In here I could do with a tad bit more flavoring, and just the smallest amount of sugar. When it comes to tea I almost always prefer them to be unsweetened, but mate benefits from the smallest touch of sweetener. Even in its imperfect state I could drink this forever though.

Website
http://www.guayaki.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 7th, 2017
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Arizona Arnold Palmer Half Iced Tea & Half Lemonade

Arizona  Arnold Palmer Half Iced Tea & Half Lemonade

So much smoother. "Than what, Mike?" you ask? Well that the other Arnold Palmer, man. Giving me attitude like that. Come on, dude. Don't give me that.

This is a classic Arnold Palmer but with real sugar courtesy of the good folks at Arizona. I feel like it's been a long time since we've reviewed something from them. Have they become complacent with their seemingly endless array of drinks? Perhaps. Do we, these thirsty dudes, not have our ear as close to the ground as we used to? Perhaps. Is this better than the one that they used to sell? I think so. Between my brother and this dude Mike I used to and will soon work with again they probably drank hundreds of gallons of that stuff. The light (lite) stuff. This is not light. Full sugar. Real sugar. "Good" sugar.

I don't know if they'd like it. Maybe because they're a little older and a little wiser but also because maybe they're accustomed to the taste of the aspartame or the corn syrup or Splenda or whatever they used. Who knows? I suppose I could buy them a bottle but you know what? They can get one themselves. This one was lent to me so I don't have one to give.

Website
http://drinkarizona.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea, Lemonade
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 7th, 2017
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Alta Palla Sparkling Blood Orange

Alta Palla Sparkling Blood Orange

Can we take a moment out of our regularly scheduled beverage nonsense to discuss how Whole Foods has gone completely downhill? We don’t have them here in Buffalo, but I’ve visited their stores a decent amount while I’m traveling. While I was never completely onboard with it, mostly due to the price, they were always a mecca of vegetarian prepared foods. I could walk up to the hot bar and have a selection of various delicious meals. While out on the west coast last month I stopped by two separate stores and it was dismal. The prepared foods sections were scaled back a lot more than I remember and other than salad stuff, there really weren’t any veggie options other than lasagna. Both times I ended up getting soft pretzels and calling it a day. Of course they are finally opening one in my hometown and it will be essentially useless to me. Without the options what reason do I have to go there over the superior Wegmans, which is way cheaper? Oh yes, it is because of the beverage selection. There is always something new to me in the drink cooler at Whole Foods. This time around it was Alta Palla.

I grabbed this thinking it was a blood orange seltzer water (because it said sparkling). I cracked it open while I ate my pretzel and was nicely surprised to discover it was actually sweetened, but not ridiculously so. During my trip I was doing a lot of hiking, which led to me drinking a lot of water, and eating a whole lot of protein bars and eating trail mix a whole bunch. I didn’t realize how much my body wanted this sugar until I drank this. It has an incredible blood orange flavor and it is in the same realm as San Pellegrino, only better. All I can say is that when that Whole Foods opens its doors in Buffalo they better have this in stock, because I want it and I want a lot of it.

Website
http://www.altapalla.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Fair Trade Certified Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop, Sparkling
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 5th, 2017
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Teaonic I Love My Gut

Teaonic I Love My Gut

This little guy tasted pretty much as I expected it to. It tastes like it serves a more medicinal purpose than a pleasurable one. I’m not saying that it didn’t have pleasant taste, but the rest of the ingredients play more of a role in the flavor than the tea does. In fact the tea aspect of it taste more like tea water than the nice strong brew that one expects from a bottled iced tea. The ingredients that make up the chia spice blend are the ones who are running this show. It’s almost all cinnamon, ginger, and licorice.

This was made to help with stomach issues and digestion, but if the tea had been stronger I could see this being an instant favorite. Even without the strong tea taste it still left a delicious residue on my lips.

Website
http://teaonic.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Iced Tea, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 5th, 2017
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Del Valle Jamaica & nada

Del Valle Jamaica & nada

Am I wrong in thinking that jamaica and hibiscus are the same thing (also sorrel)? I’m pretty sure they are the same. I would look it up, but I’m in Mexico and I don’t have internet access. So I will assume they are one and the same. I’m not positive what nada is, but I think it’s the same fruit as I bought from some cart earlier with chili powder and lime. At least that’s what I think the vender said. My Spanish is minimal and a lot of people talk very fast down here. I digress; this is sparkling mineral water with juice added. It’s fairly sweet and floral. I like it, but it was a bit much to get through the whole bottle. I kind of wish I had went with the lime instead. All I really want to consume down here involves limes. This has been a fairly uninformative review, but it’s what you’re going to get, because I don’t know what else to say about it.

Country
Mexico
Sweetener
Azucar
Categories
Soda Pop, Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 4th, 2017
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#Yolo Energy Mixer | Drink Blue Spirit

#Yolo Energy Mixer | Drink Blue Spirit

You only live once, but as it turns out life can be pretty horrible sometimes, especially if you are drinking a beverage such as this. You may be in luck though, because this tastes like it may or not be poison. If I saw a warning on it that said “If ingested call Poison Control.” To me it tastes like carbonated blue Hugs that a neighborhood creep drugged to off the kids on the block. Perhaps there was a mix up and in fact I am consuming windshield wiper fluid? Do you want to know how hard it was to get through this? My friend says it tastes how freshly cleaned toilets smell. Enjoy!

Country
Mexico
Sweetener
Azucar
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 4th, 2017
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