Gourmet Soda (16 reviews)

Langers Gourmet Soda Vanilla Cream

Langers Gourmet Soda Vanilla Cream

Jimmy, I thought you said you were going to help me make some cookies. If you want to eat them you're going to help making them. No you can't just wash the dishes afterwards. You said you would do that last time, and when I went to put the dishes in the drying rack away, everything was covered in dough. Jimmy, you're a terrible dish washer. It's a good thing you're smart, because a career in the restaurant business would be short lived for you. Just crack those eggs in that bowl. Jesus, don't just throw the eggs in the bowl! Crack them on the side and drop the insides into the bowl. You don't want the shell in there. I mean who wants crunchy parts in their cookies? You know what? Just get the vanilla extract down from the cupboard.

What are you doing?!?!? Don't drink that! That's disgusting! How are you not vomiting from that? So gross! What? It tastes like that vanilla cream soda you got down at the store? What kind of pop are you drinking? Langers? Remind me to stay away from that. I like cream soda as much as the next mom, but it really shouldn't taste like slightly watered down vanilla extract. That is for cookies and the occasional coffee cake.

Website
http://www.langers.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 3rd, 2012
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Best Health's Gourmet Soda Raspberry

Best Health's Gourmet Soda Raspberry

Mark, I quit. I thought this was going to be a dream job for me, but everything went wrong. Dealing with soda day in and out is what fills my mind grapes as I sleep. You know how people count sheep to help them fall asleep? Well, I count soda bottles. I know it sounds insane, but it’s my passion. The thing is I can’t have my work be a lie. When I submitted my resume to Best Health I believed this company believed in the betterment of the state of our fellow man’s health. I suppose it’s my fault that I didn’t do more research on the company, but I really thought that what we made here was going to be carbonated fruit juice with no sweetener added. That is what I think of when I think of healthy soda. That’s not what we make here at all though. What we produce and peddle is flavored sugar water with some bubbles in it. Actually the bubbles aren’t a part of the problem at all. They are actually pretty great. The problem is that this soda isn’t even close to healthy. Sure it’s better for people that corn syrup sweetened soda, but what isn’t? On top of that our flavors aren’t even that grape. I’m really only basing this statement off of our raspberry flavor. When it’s in your mouth it is just sugar soda. There is only the smallest tinge of fruit flavor. When you swallow it does have a generic berry aftertaste, but that’s not what a good soda is. Mark, I really think this company needs a complete overhaul, and unless that begins now I’m walking out that door and never looking back.

Sir I assure you that no matter what number you write down it’s not going to change my mind. Fine write it down and then I’m out that door. Oh wow! A quarter raise?! If you need me I’ll be down in the bottling area. We can’t afford to miss a single shipment!

Website
http://www.brooklynbottling.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 30th, 2012
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Jelly Belly Gourmet Soda Very Cherry

Jelly Belly Gourmet Soda Very Cherry

What accompanies Boyz 'N The Hood more than pizza and Very Cherry Jelly Belly pop? Ummm, nothing? Yep-ahhh. Good ol' Larry Fishburn as the lovable Furious Styles accompanying me on a voyage through childhood in South Central LA while I accompany him with some cherry flavored pop. What a team? I can picture it now...Ice Cube, Cuba, and I sitting around the domino table with some bones and a cold 4 pack (they don't come in 6 packs) of Jelly Belly Very Cherry pop. Throwing bones. Dominoes!

Initially, the taste was sweet and cherry-esque, but it quickly and powerfully, much like the power of a strong black woman like Angela Basset, tasted just like cherry Jelly Belly candies. You know how I usually get mad when something tastes like candy, but with Jelly Belly pop, I might be upset if it didn't.

This was pretty good and the perfect accoutrement to classic cinema and garbage pizza.

Website
http://www.jellybelly.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 3rd, 2011
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Jelly Belly Gourmet Soda Green Apple

Jelly Belly Gourmet Soda Green Apple

Murder? You've got it. You want it to look like an accident? Got it. My suggestion would be poisoning him. It's a real hands off approach at murder. It's a good start. Hey, once you start, you can't stop. Murder is like the Pringles of crime. We have to first find out a way to not let him know we're going to kill him. Food is a good thing to poison. You just have to get at it before he does. Oh, you cook his dinner? Perfect. What does he like to drink for dinner? Jelly Belly green apple pop? Perfect. It looks like antifreeze so we can just use that. The body hates antifreeze and we can mix a lot in since the smell of the original pop is so strong. Do you have one that I can have to test on? Thanks. Well, this is pretty good. No wonder he likes to drink it. It's sweet, lightly carbonated. I don't know how this would accompany a beef stroganoff, but what do I know. I'm a hit man, not a food critic. Yeah, you know, this stuff is pretty delicious. It's candy-esque, but not too sweet that you can't polish off an entire bottle yourself. You've never had it? Here, take a big swig off this one. What's that? I can't understand you over the sound of the foam coming out of your mouth. Why yes, I did put antifreeze in that bottle when you weren't looking. Your husband hired me to kill you and he beat you to the punch. As you can see, this would have worked just fine. Sorry that I had to do this so intimately, but it was the only time you were available. If you don't mind, I'm going to take the rest of this 4-pack as a bonus to my hard work. Sorry you're dead. Nice Swatch. You can keep it because it's ladies sized and I'm clearly gent sized.

Website
http://www.jellybelly.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 25th, 2011
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Carousel Gourmet Soda Watermelon

Carousel Gourmet Soda Watermelon

Some pop is strange. You have certain expectations for the way that it tastes. Then, when you actually take a sip, it doesn't abide by your crazy made-up rules. Suddenly, rudely, when you burp, those expectations are met. To drink a bottle of pop that you need to burp to get what you want out of it seems fun, but the ratio of drinking to burping is very far off. Unless you're completely disgusting or completely alone, you aren't going to get your money's worth of burps out of pop.

This drink is right there. To drink, it's sweet and lightly watermelon'd. Then you burp and BAM! Candied watermelon or watermelon candy. Whichever you choose. I have not been very impressed by any watermelon pop or any of Carousel's drinks. I won't stop drinking them but there hasn't been one that I would go back to or even recommend. If you like them, speak up, but there are plenty of other companies that just moderately blow my socks off that I don't feel bad leaving this by the wayside.

Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar and or Corn Sweetener
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on November 11th, 2011
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Best Health's Gourmet Soda Root Beer

Best Health's Gourmet Soda Root Beer

The name of this company, "Best Health's" reminds me of the early days where people would sell everything as "medicine". Buy this gasoline. It's sure to keep you more alert than a jumpin' jackrabbit. This here opium will keep you warm at night and make sure the bed bugs don't bite.

This may have been sold as a medicine disguiser, as I think pop originally was, but this is just smuggling gallons of vanilla. It's a dark root beer, that's for truth. It's good. There isn't any bite and it's fairly smooth, but it's not so common so have so much vanilla in a root beer.

Alright, one more...dentists are for fools, brush with this metal bristle brush and be sure to scrape those foul smelling odors away.

Website
http://www.brooklynbottling.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Root Beer, Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on November 14th, 2011
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Jelly Belly Gourmet Soda Crushed Pineapple

Jelly Belly Gourmet Soda Crushed Pineapple

One thing I would like to do before I die is chop a pineapple down from a tree and eat it. I guess I could have someone more skilled get it down for me but I want it inside of me no more than two minutes after it came down from the tree. That's a fresh pineapple. I want it. I don't think that's a dramatic request. I can catch it, even though I am aware it might hurt me. It's like a slightly spikey, oddly shaped football. I love pineapple, though and want a fresh one. No more of this out of season garbage. Fresh, son.

This pop, although probably distant from a fresh pineapple, tastes a lot like pineapple. Not quite carbonated pineapple juice, but close. It's very sweet. You should not drink this alone. It's not destructive in its calories content at a pretty standard 120, but it is sweet, man.

Who knows, a fresh pineapple might not be that far away. I don't have any plans to travel to an exotic paradise any time soon but in the scheme of things, even five years isn't that long to have to wait for hopefully the best pineapple I will ever have in my life.

Website
http://www.jellybelly.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 18th, 2012
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Jelly Belly Soda - Crushed Pineapple - (12 Pack)

Cool Mountain Gourmet Soda Green Apple

Cool Mountain Gourmet Soda Green Apple

Whenever I see that green, it usually means two things. Thing number one is that it is green apple. Thing number two is that it is going to be way too sweet and downright suck-filled. Was this any different? Eh, 75%. It was green apple but it lacked the uber-sweetness that other green apple pop has. In doing so, you can actually taste the drink itself, which, in and of itself, was not too spectacular.

I think that this flavor as a whole should go by the wayside. I've never had a green apple pop that I could finish an entire bottle of and I've never had one that I've wanted to take more than a couple sips. Kids probably love the stuff but as we all know, kids are dumb and will like anything that has sugar in it because they are mindless idiots. Yeah, I said it. You have been thinking it and I'm the only one who stood up and said it. I'm not afraid of a cavity ridden, hyperactive, pre-pubescent, pre-teen. Bring it on. I've been grizzled by life and am way smarter, wittier, and worldly than you. Enjoy your impending teens, suckers. They're going to suck.

Website
http://www.coolmountain.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on July 9th, 2013
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Jelly Belly Gourmet Soda Sour Cherry

Jelly Belly Gourmet Soda Sour Cherry

I want to ask a serious question here, who decided to name the “cherry” flavor? I’ve eaten an obscene amount of cherries in my life and not once have they tasted like what companies have been labeling cherry for years. It was like they created a flavor that was red and they said, “Cherries are also red. This must be cherry. Nothing else on the planet is red but cherries. All I see are cherries. Are you a cherry, because you’re wearing a red shirt? You most certainly are a cherry, and I shall refer to you as such from now on.”

This soda tastes a little closer to what a cherry actually is, but it still borders on that flavor that is not really cherry. Also the sourness in here tastes like it was something added, and not just a tart fruit. It’s not horrible, but I can’t see an adult finishing a bottle of this. To be fair if it wasn’t for the use of cane sugar I would probably have written this off as garbage store brand soda, but the cane sugar does give it a bit more legitimacy in my world.


Website
http://www.jellybelly.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 15th, 2016
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Buy Now
Jelly Belly Sour Cherry (6 bottles)

Jelly Belly Gourmet Soda Tangerine

Jelly Belly Gourmet Soda Tangerine

So tangerines are superior oranges, correct? A little sweeter, with a stronger flavor and they are easier to peel. How about we just accept them as the standard from here on out? A good orange is fantastic, but I feel like I have more bad oranges than good ones, and I’ve never had an unpleasant tangerine.

I was hoping that the improvement that is tangerines would translate to this soda, but unfortunately this is mostly just generic soda flavor with a sweet hint of a slightly different orange. It’s not bad, but it is completely forgettable, which is not something we look for here at Thirsty Dudes. This is certainly not the gourmet soda that it claims to be, but at least it has cane sugar and isn’t super thick and syrupy.

Someone make me a proper tangerine soda. I need to taste the superiority…wow that sounded unintentionally fascist.

Website
http://www.jellybelly.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on June 24th, 2016
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