Seltzer (31 reviews)

Polar Seltzer Cranberry Lime

Polar Seltzer Cranberry Lime

I'm here, at work, post Christmas, all alone. I'm surrounded by the soothing sounds of The Best Show Christmas Extravaganza. I am eating chocolate Teddy Grahams, because I am apparently eight. To inverse the ageism of that, I am drinking cough medicine disguised as cranberry lime seltzer water. It does not taste like cranberry or lime and somehow even has a Vicks tang to it. I don't know how it was done as they added water and natural flavors.

I do not have a cough nor do I want one. I do want to know how products like this make it past testing. I know what a cranberry tastes like and this isn't it. I even will go as far as saying that I know what cranberry lime tastes like together and this isn't it. I will say there is lime in there. I have concentrated and discovered lime much like Christopher Columbus laid claim to the pre-discovered land that is America.

I wish I hadn't eaten all of those Teddy Grahams. The eight year old in me wins again.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 26th, 2011
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Polar Seltzer Cranberry Lime Water 12 Ounce Cans ( Case 24)

Polar Seltzer Mango Cherry Bliss

Polar Seltzer Mango Cherry Bliss

I’ve been putting this off. One simply does not enjoy bad mouthing Polar. They bring so much joy to my life and excitement to my taste buds. Unfortunately here I sit with one of the limited edition summer flavors for 2018, sipping away out of obligation and respect, but little enjoyment. Something about this just tastes artificial. It doesn’t even have a medicinal cherry flavoring, it just tastes like some sort of chemical flavoring. It’s not just the cherry either, the mango tastes off as well. There is just no bliss to be found in this beverage. Do yourself a favor and just grab a different flavor of Polar and enjoy. Lucky for everyone this is limited.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 20th, 2018
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Polar Seltzer Pomegranate

Polar Seltzer Pomegranate

'Round these parts, we call it "Spicy Water." That's the water you make with your carbonation machine and just don't add flavor. I'm talking about that pop machine that looks like a penguin that makes pop for you when you want it in cool, 1 liter bottles. My girlfriend always gets "soda water with lemon" which is just carbonated water. It's strange though. I drink water all of the day and enjoy it but once it's carbonated, it gets a bit of a gnarly taste to it. She loves the stuff. I don't know what her problem is. I sneak sips periodically and find it quite vile.

I knew what I was in for when I tried this and was actually proven a little bit wrong. It's got that strange bitterness or whatever goes on inside carbonated water, but the pomegranate taste is great. This is actually a drink that has no sugar or carbs or anything, tastes fruity, and for some might be quenching. I made a little face after every sip, but, as previously mentioned, I don't fancy “fancy water.” I do like flavored waters, which would basically be this sans "spice" but this is a world apart from a drink like Hint or equivalent.

When my mom reads this, she's going to be sore at me because she loves seltzer water, too. Seltzer water used to only be used for clowns but now it's used for clowns and moms. I'm not going to draw any lines comparing the two, but you can.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 16th, 2011
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Name Your Link

Polar Seltzer Black Cherry

Polar Seltzer Black Cherry

I don't know what's happened. I used to hate seltzer water. My mom would drink it all of the day and I would take the occasional sip and just make a face. It was just so bitter and terrible. I don't know if things have changed in the wide world of seltzer or what but all of a sudden, I get these hankerings, brother. I see it on the shelf and I think, "Yeah, dude, black cherry seltzer sounds like something I would like." and then I buy it and think, "I used to hate this stuff."

So here we are. Black cherry seltzer. I've got to say, it's pretty good. Zero calorie, sparkling, and pretty flavorful. It tastes like a diet black cherry drink but with no bad ingredients because there are no actual ingredients. Water and natural flavor. That's it. That's all. If you like flavor but don't like sugar of any kind, aren't or are on a diet, are male or female, and like black cherry, this is the drink for you. Basically, that complex conditional could be rewritten as "If you like black cherry, you will like this." I write conditionals all day every day so it was easy to write and then optimize. It's my life. It's what I do.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 12th, 2012
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Polar Seltzer with Black Cherry, 33.8 Fl. Oz, No Sodium. No Calories, ( Pack of 6 )

Polar Seltzer Mint Chocolate

Polar Seltzer Mint Chocolate

What a year! I went from not liking seltzer to scouring local grocery stores for good ones. I guess I was used to the swill my mom used to drink but this stuff has been good thus far. The cinnamon was awesome. The black cherry, less than awesome but still good. This was good. Right where I wanted it and just want I wanted: a little bit of mint and a little bit of chocolate. If anyone is familiar with Metromint Chocolate Mint, this is a sparkling, toned down version of that. I love that. I like this. For something that I put on my desk next to all day and polished off slowly, though, I liked it a lot and will get it again.

Mom, if you're reading this. You know I don't like your garbage seltzers. Perhaps for Christmas, if you're good, I'll buy you the good, top shelf stuff. I will also help you throw your old stuff in the yard and let the neighborhood dogs at it.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 11th, 2012
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Polar Seltzer Candy Cane

Polar Seltzer Candy Cane

Santa Claus is a large man and these are difficult times for the obese. He should not be surprised as he spends a couple days eating nothing but cookies. He works long hours, isn't known for being wealthy, and is also never seen as a man who is "in shape." The misses has taken notice of this and has done something about it. She took the sleigh to Polar, contracted them to make one of Santa's favorite flavors, and had them put it out for all to enjoy around Christmastime. Santa drinks a lot of hot chocolate but when Mrs. Claus brought him the first bottle, he knew that it was for the best.

He took a sip and was moderately pleased. Moderately because he is a man who loves his sweets and this is neither sweet nor up t the caliber of "caneness" that he desires. It's not bad, but it's about as seltzer as you can get with a little bit of mintiness.

For the next year Santa is going to lose some weight by drinking this. His breath will be better and his waistline slimmer. Mrs. Claus wanted to also mention that instead of having standard issue chocolate chip cookies that you supply a small, Caesar salad either dry or with a balsamic vinaigrette. We have to work together to slim the big man down.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 30th, 2012
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Schweppes Seltzer Raspberry Lime

Schweppes Seltzer Raspberry Lime

Samantha, you've got to stop it with the diet pop. Really? Breakfast, lunch and dinner? That's absurd. You have your weight under control but who knows what that stuff is doing to you on top of the fact that your teeth look like you've stupidly replaced them with individual pieces of corn. Yeah, I said it. No one else in this office is going to say anything. I feel like I've got to stand up and address the yellow toothed elephant in the room. We've been working together at this office for years and I have watched you lose a lot of weight and for that I commend you. I could stand to drop a solid dub but I'm not as regimented as some of the guys in here going to the gym at lunch breaks.

I have a gift for you, Samantha. It's something different. It's something without any artificial sweeteners, colors and junk. It's just sparkling flavor. What flavors, you ask? Why raspberries and limes, those two cats. Now I have seen you in the cafeteria eating fruit before while reading Gawker on you phone until the second before your lunch break ends so I know that I'm not barking up the wrong tree. Try it. I bought one earlier and though you might like this.

It's good, right? It's not to...seltzery. It's got a good raspberry taste with a slight lime taste. It's sparkling and, if anything, cleaning your teeth rather than just covering them is "caramel coloring" which seems like an unnecessary ingredient. No, it's not the best seltzer I've ever had but it was there and I thought you might enjoy a nice change.

You like it? Great. Are you going to stop it with the diet cola? You will? Wait...what? How many cases? You have seventeen cases of diet cola in your apartment? Oh yeah, I understand that they were on sale but let me save you even more money. Stop buying them, Samantha. Look. I just saved you the sale price of seventeen cases of vile drinks. You're welcome, twice.

Website
http://www.schweppes.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 8th, 2014
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Polar Seltzer Vanilla

Polar Seltzer Vanilla

Vanilla? Inherently smooth. Like a fine cream soda, this drink really doesn't have any other job aside from being smooth. There are no ingredients getting in the way, like every corgi in the history of time that is in the kitchen when you're making dinner. They are always in the way. Not here, though, this is just vanilla and seltzer water. It has a pretty strong vanilla taste so you don't get any of that bitter seltzer taste that many people hate.

Polar is doing something right here. Sure, it's not their cinnamon but it's something. It's almost time for their cinnamon one. What a glorious day that will be. A cream soda-esque seltzer is great and I would probably buy this again, but let's get real for a second. Cinnamon trumps vanilla.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 23rd, 2014
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Polar Seltzer 33.8 Fl. Oz, (Pack of 12) (Vanilla)

Polar Seltzer Ginger Apple

Polar Seltzer Ginger Apple

At children's parties, Natalie is typically offered a very limited selection of drinks including juice boxes, wine and beer. She did not want any of these things. She wanted something different and not just different from those options, something different than she was used to. She gave the birthday girl her gift and went into the kitchen to see what she was going to be stuck with and she found it. She noticed a peculiar label on the counter and approached it only to see that it was something she hadn't seen before. It was ginger apple flavored seltzer water. She promptly poured herself a glass and took a sip.

She liked it because it tasted a little like a carbonated apple juice mixed with some of the flavors of ginger. There wasn't any of the burn from a ginger beer or some ginger ales but the flavor of a ginger ale was there. She asked whomever brought it and they said that it was a seasonal flavor that wasn't going to be around forever. She liked it so much that she went on the way home from the party to buy more bottles for herself.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on November 30th, 2014
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Polar Seltzer Cranberry & Clementine

Polar Seltzer Cranberry & Clementine

Ahh the seasonal flavors. They really churn them out over at Polar and do not disappoint. Cranberry and clementine are two great friends that play together nicely. Why haven't you other guys worked together like this? It's great. A little fruity and a little more fruity together make a nice sparkling treat. I must have really liked this because I intended on drinking this all day and killed it before lunch. You can taste everything and you want to because Polar managed to keep the integrity of both fruits.

Polar, thank you for this Christmas gift. I got you a sweater. A sweater without a receipt and with the tags detached. Sorry. I'm no good at holidays.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 18th, 2014
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