Apple Flavor (2 reviews)

Sappe Aloe Vera Apple Flavor

Sappe Aloe Vera Apple Flavor

There were two things Johnny Snake Eyes loved in life: his switchblade and his dice. To be fair, he really only pretended to care about his blade to give him a tough appearance. He really just lived for his six sided friends. You could almost always find him in some back alley or subway platform running a game of bones. It was more than a game to him. It was a science. He knew the laws of probability and used it to advantage to always come out on top.

He took his love of the game to new levels. The only ate vegetables if they were diced. He would only take a dare if someone said it was dicey. Most importantly for our reading audience, he always had a bottle of Sappe Aloe Vera drink on him. The reason was that the aloe chunks in it were not only diced, but they were actually the exact size of his beloved shakers. Seriously, the chunks are that big and they are wonderful. His particularly enjoyed the apple variety. When he first picked up a bottle (he won it in a game of cee-lo from a worker in an Asian bodega) he had expected it to have that terrible fake apple taste, that is so specific, but in reality tastes nothing like fruit. Luckily the odds of probability were in his favor, and it did taste more like a real apple. The sugar gave it a little bit of a candied flavor, but it was mostly fruit. For that he was thankful.

Next time he’s in that area, he plans on playing the shop keep again for a different flavor. It may be a while though because the comic book store that sits beside it always has a gaggle of nerds outside that always challenge him with their twenty sided die, and Johnny Snake Eyes just doesn’t roll that way.

Website
http://www.sappe.sk/
Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Fructose
Categories
Aloe Vera, Chunky
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 10th, 2013
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C2 Cool & Clean Green Tea Apple Flavor

C2 Cool & Clean Green Tea Apple Flavor

"...and then we harvest our patented green tea apples."

Wait, what? Can you repeat that? I have to admit I wasn't really paying attention to your three-hour dissertation of your apple crop. I love apples, there's no disputing that, but I don't think I have the patience to listen to anyone talk about any food for that long. I mean even if I could ask Jesus anything and he would answer truthfully, I still don't think I would do it if I had to listen to him talk about wine or fish for three hours. It's just not worth the boredom. Sorry, but you were saying something about "tea apples?"

"Why yes, since you're a jerk and didn't listen to me, I will give you a brief summary of it. We grow our apple trees in a semi hydroponic environment. Every three days we replace the water they grow in for green tea. The result is a very plump, juicy apple that has a green tea flavor to it. You see the apple soaks up the essence of the...."

That's enough, friend. I understand what you're saying and I have to say that it's pretty ingenious. It's just too bad that the apples cost $10 each. No one is going to buy those. What's going to happen when no one buys them and you're left with bushels of semi rotten fruit?

"Actually that is a problem that we have already experienced. We decided the best course of action was to juice those tea apples and bottle it. You can buy bottles of it in the gift shop. They are only $2 each."

Well that's nice. I would definitely pay that. Let me go grab one. Wow this is good. It tastes exactly like what you described. You guys definitely added some sugar though. Wait a minute this says it was made in the Philippines. Last time I check we were in Akron, NY! Also it doesn't say anything about actual apples in the ingredients list. You're a liar!

"Yeah, well you're a jerk for not listening to me. Do you think it would actually be possible to make tea apples? I was just making stuff up to see how long it would take you to actually pay attention. This isn't even an apple orchard. It's a pumpkin patch. You're a jerk and idiot!"

Country
Philippines
Sweetener
Cane Sugar and/or High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 21st, 2011
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