Black Cherry (23 reviews)
Big Shot Black Cherry
I have drank too much garbage whilst doing Thirsty Dudes to really be "nice" anymore. I see companies, typically small, doing really good things but then there are larger companies probably making just absolute garbage. This is candy. Kids will love this. It's almost completely devoid of anything fruit related and completely candy-esque. That being said, if they had a black cherry candy that tasted like this I would like it. As a pop it's simply too much. It's super dark, which is a selling point in root beer but not in something that's just too syrupy. No rewards given for a bad mix. That goes for live music as much as it goes for drinks. A bad mix kills everything.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Categories
- Soda Pop
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman 1 week, 6 days ago
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Jones Zilch Black Cherry
Black cherry; the most goth of all fruits. You want to meet up with them? They sleep until noon, work at a bookstore that sells nothing but books on murder, cats, and unlicensed Robert Smith biographies, and go to clubs that are in locations you thought were closed down for a decade. They don't get along with people because they feel they are on the outside looking in. Looking in on all the squares, sellouts, poseurs, conformists, and zealots making fools of themselves on a day-to-day basis. Black cherry listens to Skinny Puppy, KMFDM, and My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult and scoffs at your record collection regardless of how much you like it. Black cherry is one with the dark arts.
Recently, black cherry has put on a little weight and needs to slim down a bit. Torrid is fine and essential to black cherry but some things are stretching a bit and it's becoming a health issue that your mom is getting concerned about. So you add a little sucralose to the mix. It's alright. Sure, it "diet's" you up a little bit and makes you feel like you are trying to be one of those blonde bimbos that swarm the schools like bees to a hive. There is a big difference between anorexia and teenage obesity. You still taste good, like you are supposed to, but there's just you can just tell that you are trying to lose a little weight and use artificial sweeteners. It's fine. You are beautiful no matter what the "cool kids" say. Now head on over to your black Volkswagon Jetta, pop in that old Bauhaus record, and think about what sweet kick moves you are going to do at the club tonight in front of yourself in the mirrors.
- Website
- http://www.jonessoda.com
- Country
- Canada
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 12/16/2012
- Comments
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Polar Seltzer Black Cherry
I don't know what's happened. I used to hate seltzer water. My mom would drink it all of the day and I would take the occasional sip and just make a face. It was just so bitter and terrible. I don't know if things have changed in the wide world of seltzer or what but all of a sudden, I get these hankerings, brother. I see it on the shelf and I think, "Yeah, dude, black cherry seltzer sounds like something I would like." and then I buy it and think, "I used to hate this stuff."
So here we are. Black cherry seltzer. I've got to say, it's pretty good. Zero calorie, sparkling, and pretty flavorful. It tastes like a diet black cherry drink but with no bad ingredients because there are no actual ingredients. Water and natural flavor. That's it. That's all. If you like flavor but don't like sugar of any kind, aren't or are on a diet, are male or female, and like black cherry, this is the drink for you. Basically, that complex conditional could be rewritten as "If you like black cherry, you will like this." I write conditionals all day every day so it was easy to write and then optimize. It's my life. It's what I do.
- Website
- http://www.polarbev.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Seltzer
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 9/12/2012
- Comments
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Witch's Brew Black Cherry
First, let's get this right out of the way. Jay and I cannot drink this without thinking of this Homestar Runner cartoon.
Now, 'tis the reviewing hour. Much south of the eerie midnight that would be the appropriate time to drink pop from a company called "Witch's Brew" from Salem, Massachusetts. I feel like I should be listening to the band "Salem" and watching Bram Stoker's "Dracula" and doing something like sharpening stakes and/or doing something with garlic not related to making pasta. I wonder what Italian food vampires can eat. Do they touch that topic in the Twilight series? See, these are the questions that people have. They don't care if they can love. They care if they can use toothpicks which are really tiny wooden stakes.
In broad daylight, a time that vampires hate but witches probably don't mind, I am drinking this pop with my coworkers. Some like it. Some don't. Do you know what that means? That means that some people simply are riding along with Jay's bandwagon of not liking black cherry. Simply put, this pop is just another black cherry pop. It's not bad but it's nothing exceptional. I don't know if I've ever had an exceptional black cherry pop. I don't know if one exists. It would be nice if one did because I'm bored with this monotonous other stuff. You'd think witches could put something in there, like the ever popular "eye of newt" or perhaps something as simple as cinnamon to spice this up. Eh, witches have plenty of other things up their giant sleeves. Pop is probably pretty far down on their list, well below trying not to get burned at the stake and finding pointy hats.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Categories
- Soda Pop
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 8/1/2012
- Comments
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Day's Wishniak Soda Black Cherry
For those of you who are wondering like I was Wishniak is Polish for cherry. Some soda companies from around the Philadelphia area started using it to describe their black cheery soda after the creator of Franks soda started using it. See the internet is a useful tool to find interesting information.
As far as black cherry sodas go this is better than most. It’s not as dark tasting as your everyday store brand. It’s still very distinctly different from plain cherry soda, but it falls somewhere between the two. As someone who is not a huge fan of black cherry, I was pumped when my ladyfriend bought this so I could try it. If black cherry always tasted like this I would choose it out of the herd more often.
- Website
- http://www.dayssoda.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Categories
- Soda Pop
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 6/25/2012
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Johnnie Ryan Black Cherry
All three of us Thirsty Dudes have been having the same issue as of late. We are sadly uninspired from drinks as of late. Sure, we've been pushing out some stories and tall-tales, but those are hard to do. Normally they flow like water as if our hands are miniature hoses and water is flowing out of them and miraculously pressing the right keys to easily spit out a funny review about a Malamute on a skateboard.
There is no rhyme or reason to what inspires us but I can tell you what didn't inspire me; this drink. It's alright, but it's nothing special. It's black cherry. It might not even be as good as cheaper variations. There is a certain...offness to this one, though. Once it hits the back of your throat, something numbing and not fantastic happens. That's not something that I signed up for. The smell is inviting enough for me to bear the pain for three quarters of a bottle.
They can't all be hits like their new birch beer flavors, that's for sure. This might be the worst Johnny Ryan I've ever had. You have to start somewhere, I guess, and this would be at the bottom. Sorry local friends but I've got to tell it how it is.
- Website
- http://johnnieryan.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Soda Pop
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 3/27/2012
- Comments
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Warheads Sour Squeezers Black Cherry
I would like to start off by saying that I miss hot Warheads. Sure, sour might make a better drink, but as a candy, it was far more thrilling to have something burning your mouth than squeeze your cheeks together. I just had to get that out of the way. These kids and their sour candy don't know what we had to go through as kids. End transmission 1.
Begin transmission 2: This is just how you think it would be. It's sour, ultra tangy, and has that gross Sunny D sting. It's a bit reminiscent of the candy but less concentrated. The candy was fun because it was a game where the longer you kept it in your mouth the better or the more you can keep in your mouth the cooler and tougher you were. This is drinkable and totally drinkable. There's no game. That's what I liked about all branches of Warheads is the self-punishment of it all. I don't feel like I've earned anything but cavities when I drink this and it makes me sad and makes me miss my childhood. The black cherry flavor isn't bad and I'm sure that all kids would go bonkers over it. Oh man, remember Bonkers? Those were awesome. If they made a Bonkers drink, I would buy it and as gross as I know it would be, drink it.
This...eh. They've nailed their demographic. The demo that they used to have will get no love back because we're a generation of, "Their earlier stuff was better." Bunch of jerks if you ask me.
- Website
- http://www.warheads.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 3/13/2012
- Comments
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Roboin 36 Black Cherry
The terrorists really win when you drink this stuff. They come at you from all angles and all you can think is, "It'll be alright" as you are getting shot every which way. Do not go into battle after you drink this stuff. Do not operate heavy machinery because when you're driving a gigantic dump truck thinking, "I feel really relaxed right now." you're running over half a dozen cars and you don't even know it.
This drink works. I feel totally relaxed and quite apathetic at the world around me. Sure, it doesn't take much to get me to that point but the former is a stretch. I am just a little sleepy but even when I say that I know as soon as my head touches the pillow my day will be over and then some.
This stuff could not taste more like medicine. Even down to the light carbonation/stinging, this drink does not fail to deliver in its familiar yet undesirable taste. What it lacks in a nice, soft, black cherry taste, it makes up for in actual results. I could probably take a punch in the face with a smile about now. There's nothing in this drink that is medicinal either. The only unnatural ingredient is the corn syrup. Everything else is just a relaxation herb.
This drink makes me feel like the first few times I had a Bob Marley tea, so if you want that feeling all over again, and you don't need to drive a backhoe and your city isn't overrun by terrorists, this is a great drink that you should enjoy exorbitantly responsible because it could end you and you couldn't care about it.
- Website
- http://www.roboin36.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Categories
- Relaxation
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 2/11/2012
- Comments
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Dr. Brown's Diet Black Cherry
I accidentally purchased this. I just looked quick and thought it was the non-diet version. Oh well. I’m not a huge fan of black cherry sodas, nor do I like diet drinks. Give me a came sugar “regular” cherry soda any day. Oh that would be nice right now. Instead here I sit with aspartame and my friend’s darker cousin. Wow, that sounded racist.
If this wasn’t diet, I actually think I would really enjoy it. It has actual cherry juice in it, which is a rarity in the world of sodas. It starts you off with a nice sweet fruit flavor, but unfortunately the devil’s sweetener calls for a mutiny and the flavor is upset into a gross diet aftertaste. It’s still decent and I would choose this over most diet drinks. It’s also kosher, so if you’re Jewish the doctor says, “You’re welcome.”
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Aspartame
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 2/4/2012
- Comments
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MiO Energy Black Cherry
Water is great. It's super refreshing and I drink it all the time unlike some people I know. A lot of people hate that water tastes like nothing, so that's where companies like MiO come in. The tag line on this little bottle says it all, it's a "liquid water enhancer". Unlike other varieties of MiO, this also has caffeine in it so it turns your water into delicious energy water.
Let's be honest, most energy drinks are gross. Sure we have found a few that are good, but for the most part they are vile things in a can. Most are also carbonated, and I'm not always in the mood for a carbonated drink. As far as energy drinks go, this is one of the best I've ever had. The black cherry taste is delicious and sweet. I know they recommend only using one squirt per 8 oz glass but I put a little extra in because I really like the strong cherry taste.
Now I don't recommend this to other people, but in the name of science I squeezed some of this straight into my mouth. It was INTENSE! It is concentrated for a reason, because drinking it straight is like taking a shot of liquid caffeine. It instantly woke me up. I'm really glad Kraft sent these to us to sample because I never knew a delicious energy drink could come in such a small bottle.
- Website
- http://www.facebook.com/MiO
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Energy Drink, Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 1/7/2012
- Comments
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