Candy Cane (3 reviews)
Polar Candy Cane
Santa Claus is a large man and these are difficult times for the obese. He should not be surprised as he spends a couple days eating nothing but cookies. He works long hours, isn't known for being wealthy, and is also never seen as a man who is "in shape." The misses has taken notice of this and has done something about it. She took the sleigh to Polar, contracted them to make one of Santa's favorite flavors, and had them put it out for all to enjoy around Christmastime. Santa drinks a lot of hot chocolate but when Mrs. Claus brought him the first bottle, he knew that it was for the best.
He took a sip and was moderately pleased. Moderately because he is a man who loves his sweets and this is neither sweet nor up t the caliber of "caneness" that he desires. It's not bad, but it's about as seltzer as you can get with a little bit of mintiness.
For the next year Santa is going to lose some weight by drinking this. His breath will be better and his waistline slimmer. Mrs. Claus wanted to also mention that instead of having standard issue chocolate chip cookies that you supply a small, Caesar salad either dry or with a balsamic vinaigrette. We have to work together to slim the big man down.
- Website
- http://www.polarbev.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Seltzer
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 12/30/2012
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Jones Candy Cane
You've never eaten lunch and wanted to talk to a pretty girl? Why? That would be because you're mouth tastes and smells like Jamaican jerk turkey burger with Cajun mayo. If you were to audaciously walk up to the first pretty girl you saw and kissed her on the lips, she would never reciprocate because it's a stranger with a beard, and she was never a fan of dudes with beards. She would also think that you had horrid breath that tastes like a burger and that's nothing anyone wants to be shocked with. If someone shoved a cookie in your mouth to awaken you, well that’s another story. Maybe if someone woke you up by feeding you pudding that would be awesome, too. If you were sleeping and I crammed a highly seasoned burger in your mouth, I would expect no less than a punch square in the mouth. That's where this pop comes into place. Rewind...
You're eating a deliciously highly seasoned burger. You take your last bite and sit back in your chair and are satisfied. That restaurant always has great food and that burger was no different. You ordered a candy cane pop to warsh it all down and wash it down it does. Sure, it's a little strange because who wants to eat a Starlight mint after every bite? It's actually more like if you had carbonated water and marinated a candy cane in it, so for honest, true titling of a product, you would be spot on with this pop.
Your burger is gone and you've taken a nice swig of that pop and here she comes, a beautiful girl. Full figured. Bam and bam. Top and bottom. Bam. You're going to kiss this girl. You wipe your mouth because you don't want to leave her with a spicy mayo aftermath. You're already invading her personal space and might get smacked so you want it to go as best as you can. You've still got a beard but there's nothing you can do in the allotted time. You're going for it. You stand up and walk towards her and kiss her. You kiss her right on the lips. She kisses back. It's amazing because you really expected to get kneed in the groin. You both psychically decided to leave it at that and walk in opposite directions. What a day. What a burger. What a girl. What a kiss. What a pop.
- Website
- http://www.jonessoda.com
- Country
- Canada
- Sweetener
- Inverted Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Soda Pop
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 4/16/2012
- Comments
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Flying Bison Candy Cane
I got a text message from a friend late the other night telling me to go out to my front yard because she had thrown a growler onto my snow covered front lawn of this delicious soda for me. I quickly ran out in my pjs and grabbed it up from its snowy tomb.
Flying Bison is a local brewery that will occasionally make some soda. I had heard they were making this, but when I went to get some, it wasn't ready yet. I was definitely pumped to be able to try it. It wasn't as strong as I was expecting it to be. That is definitely a good thing. Anything that is too strongly mint flavored is generally terrible. This tastes like they got a decent nondescript flavored soda going on in a large vat and then dissolved a couple of hundred candy canes on it. While it's in your mouth there is only a slight mint flavor to it. It's when you swallow and breath in that the mintiness really hits you. You also get a nice minty taste when you lick your lips afterward.
I couldn't drink a huge glass of this, but a nice small glass of it is a really nice accent to the season.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Soda Pop
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 12/26/2010
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