Coffee (8 reviews)

Organic Gemini Tigernut Horchata Coffee

Organic Gemini Tigernut Horchata Coffee

So after the spoiled disaster that was the last time I tried this beverage (you can read it below), Organic Gemini was nice enough to send me another bottle. I am happy to say that this one no longer tastes like dumpster juice smells. I have to say, it’s not quite what I expected though.

When I was a kid I loved the way coffee grounds smelled. I would always open the can and take a big whiff. At some point, for no explainable reason, I started to eat the smallest pinch of coffee grounds when I would smell it. I chalk it up to the strangeness of youth. It was by no means enjoyable, yet I continued. The coffee flavor in here tastes like those coffee grounds, if they had actually brought me some pleasure. That sounds like a put down, but I’m actually okay with it. It just tastes more like grounds than actual brewed coffee. I let my ladyfriend try it, who is a coffee addict (mostly fancy brews) and she thought this was terrible. She said she couldn’t tell if it was the coffee, the horchata or the dates, but after one sip she couldn’t stomach another. I personally think she’s just being picky. This by no means tastes like any of her fancy coffee, but it’s not atrocious. It kind of reminds me of the Folgers my mom used to drink, you know with more of a grounds flavor. The dates do add a weird semi sweetness that I don’t think it necessary, but I’m okay with this Spanish horchata latte.


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Here is the spoiled review:
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After drinking, and reviewing, the other organic Gemini flavors we knew what we were getting into. This Spanish horchata is more like a milk substitute than anything else. Knowing that I fully expected this to taste like a normal latte with tigernut as the milk. I cracked open the bottle took a big sip, and…Choose either option A or B.
A:
was shocked to notice that it had a little bit of a fruit flavor to it. That would be due to the fact that it contains Medjool dates, weird right? They aren’t overly strong though. It basically just tastes like a shot of coffee in a glass of milk, but the lack of sugar made it stand out from a lot of prepackaged coffee drinks.

B:
pretty much spit it everywhere. This was not what I expected. It tastes like the dumpsters in the back of the grocery store I used to work at smelled on a hot summer day when someone would throw the expired milk in it. That’s right IL said it tastes like dumpster juice. It also has a weird fruity taste to it from the Medjool dates. To be honest it also smelled like gross, gross feet. I must have not breathed in when I took that sip, or I doubt it would have crossed my lips. There is hardly any coffee taste to this at all, it just tastes wrong.

Every part of me wants to give the company the benefit of the doubt and say that this bottle has gone bad. The thing is that when it was shipped to us, it was in ice packs, and I instantly put it in the fridge. It also has about a week before the expiration date. I hope something went wrong in transit, because the other flavors were actually decent. Option A is based on other people’s reviews of the product and since everyone else seemed to really enjoy it, I’m going to pretend that was how my drinking experience went.

Website
http://www.organicgemini.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Coffee, Other/Weird
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on August 28th, 2014
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Kohana Cold Brew Coffee

Kohana Cold Brew Coffee

Concentrated cold brew coffee like this is perfect for people who like REALLY strong coffee. I'm sure there are some people that go against the suggestions on the bottle and don't dilute it with any water and milk. I think those people are called men, or dads. Well except for Mike. One might go as far as saying that he's not a real dad because he doesn't like coffee.

For science, I first tried this without diluting it at all. Now I have never drank motor oil, but I'm guessing it's not far from this as far as potency goes. It would make a great coffee energy shot, rough to drink but would immediately energize you. There you go Kohana, I just gave you some free marketing advice.

Once I decided to not be an idiot and drink this like a normal person would, it was fantastic! Great flavor, great taste, I couldn't ask for more of a cold brew coffee. I often forget to cold-brew coffee the night before (I don't drink a lot so I do it in 1 mason jar batches) so it was nice having this bottle for a few days and not having to worry about it. Also not having to deal with stray coffee grounds was also a plus. No matter how hard I try and how many times I filter my cold-brew, I still find little granules every once in a while.

Website
http://www.kohanacoffee.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on May 6th, 2013
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Blue Mountain Cafe Coffee

Blue Mountain Cafe Coffee

Sheryl, there isn't enough coffee to make two cups. I know how you get when you don't have your coffee but I too need the energy to make it through the morning. Perhaps we compromise with the following scenario. We take the coffee, we split it right down the middle. Then we take a little bit of creamer and a little bit of sugar to fill up the cup a bit more. Then, since we aren't going to make a coffee with fifty percent coffee and fifty percent milk, we are going to do about a fifty-fifty split milk and water to fill it. Yes, it will cut down on the coffee flavor and it will taste like watered down coffee but hey, we both need what we need, right Sheryl? You agree to this agreement? Let's have a marital shake on it. There we go. Let's take our "probably worst cup of coffee we will ever have" and go to our separate works. I love you, Sheryl. Sorry today's coffee sucks. Let's blame it on our twenty-four year old son who refuses to "conform to society" and instead, doesn't work and drinks all our coffee and sleeps in the basement. I swear, if I have to hear that Macklemore and Ryan Lewis song about the Salvation Army one more time, I'm going to take all his stuff and donate it there since he loves it so much. That'll show that kid. Well, then he'll just spend more time here to acquire more stuff to move out with. Sheryl, he's never leaving, is he? Can't we live our own lives? Why can't we live our own lives, Sheryl. Sheryl? When can we live our own lives?!?!?

Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 1st, 2013
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Wonderfarm Coffee

Wonderfarm Coffee

This drink reminds me of my daddy. Growing up and living at home, my daddy always woke up before me to go to work. He would make a pot of coffee. He and my mom drank and still drink coffee but now they drink out of the Keurig because my daddy is decaf and my mom isn't. My daddy's breath was always coffee scented and drinking this reminds me of the rare occasion that I would try it. Also, when he scorned me for doing dumb stuff, which happened all the time, I couldn't help but smell his coffee breath.

I love coffee drinks but this drink is simply too much coffee and not enough...something. I don't know what I like about coffee drinks. I do like the flavor of coffee. Coffee ice cream is great but this is too close to what coffee is. If you want a coffee, this is it just colder. It's like an iced coffee but not gluttonously large and sans ice. I guess that's like 66% of what makes an iced coffee an iced coffee, but you know what I mean. Take a cup of coffee, put in more sugar than you would use in your regular coffee, and throw it in the fridge.

Daddy, if you're reading this, which since I know you because I came from you so I can assume you aren't but I'll finish this thought anyway, you would like this. It would remind you of you a decade plus ago. Remember that man? I do.

Website
http://www.wonderfarmonline.com/
Country
Vietnam
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 10th, 2012
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Frizz Coffee

Frizz Coffee

I just found my new favorite drink. I wish I could say I was exaggerating but I’m really not. This is exactly what I always hoped a coffee soda would taste like. It has a really strong coffee taste, but it is also sweet and bubbly. It almost has a cream soda taste to it as well. I just passed this bottle around a room of skeptical people and they all said it was delicious.

This little bottle was $2 but it is so worth it. It would be awesome if they sold this in larger bottles because I feel like I’m drinking all 6 oz of this way too fast and I want it to last forever. Isn't a normal cup of coffee like 12oz? That would be a good size. I'd pay $4 for that, probably far too often than I'd like to admit.

Website
http://www.frizzusa.com/
Country
Italy
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee, Soda Pop
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on August 10th, 2012
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Frio Cappuccino Coffee

Frio Cappuccino Coffee

Dear employees at this fine company. I have an admission to make. Look folks, I should tell you that I am not the best as measuring. I have ruined every cake I've ever made. I have made a lot of money in this business and have bought a very nice oven and it works perfectly. I cannot blame the oven for my consistently burnt cookies and cupcakes. It's the fact that I get all messed up and backwards when it comes to teaspoons, tablespoons, cups, grams, yards, gallons, ounces, and the like. For that, I apologize in advance.

The reason I bring you in here is because I have once again failed the exam and messed up the mix. For this run of our Frio Cappuccino, I have calculated that we add more water than we're supposed to add. There are pros and cons to this. Pro: we get to make more and the cost per bottle is less. Con: we get a watered down cappuccino. Now I've tasted it and I've got to be honest, it's not terrible but it tastes like it should have more body to it. I might add less sugar, too, but that's not why I called you in here.

This isn't going to close the factory. We've done well for ourselves, but we might make a little less on this than we did on any of our previous endeavors. If someone could just review my math next time we prepare to put a drink out, that would be great. There is pizza in the break room for anyone interested. If you aren't interested, why aren't you interested? It's pizza.

Website
http://www.imbibeinc.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on April 23rd, 2012
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Stumptown Cold Brew Coffee

Stumptown Cold Brew Coffee

Stumptown Coffee is what made me fall in love with coffee. I recently moved back to Portland, OR, the home of Stumptown Coffee. I would love to say it was because I missed it so much, but in reality it was to open a custom button/zine store with my friend Alex Wrekk called Portland Button Works.

We recently signed a lease on a storefront and have been slowly moving things into it this week. I felt it was fitting that the first drink I reviewed here was a drink I've been waiting to try for a long time. Stumptown came out with this lovely glass bottle of coffee just before I moved back to Buffalo for 10 months. I didn't get a chance to try it before I left, but now I finally found a nice cold bottle.

I don't know much about cold brewing coffee, besides that it tastes better than other methods of iced coffee. After opening this bottle, it smelled like I just walked into a coffee shop. It has that classic/awesome coffee aroma. I usually drink my coffee with soy/almond milk and a little sugar, but under certain circumstances I can tolerate black coffee. I wish all black coffee tasted like this, because it's incredible. It's really strong, but has so much flavor. I don't know blends of coffee well enough to wax on about the different subtleties in the beans. All I know is that this is delicious, and I would probably drink it every day if it weren’t $3.50 a bottle.

Website
http://www.stumptowncoffee.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on April 19th, 2012
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Marley's One Drop Coffee

Marley's One Drop Coffee

I don't know Bob Marley. I mean, come on, I'm a 29 year old, Jewish, white kid from Buffalo. The only thing I know about Bob Marley is that he's probably rolling in his grave because of the fact that every time you think of him, you think of weed, or how you have a tapestry at home with his face on it, or just tie die. It’s unfortunate. I am not going to pretend to know anything about him because pretending to do so will do his life a great injustice. I'm not against him or whatever he believed in and I would like to watch a documentary because I feel that at one point, he was so influential to a people, that he's still as great as he was today. Also, I don't read so a video is the only way that I'm going to take it in. Even Wikipedia is going to be too much to read. That man grew those dreads so we could all see them.

I don't know who's putting out all these Marley drinks, because we all know it's not Bob. He's not signing his name on the dotted line saying, "Yeah, mon. I would love to put me name on dis tea das gonna put ya ta sleep." Someone is forging his name and he keeps pushing out products and the dead Bob Marley is just pulled into it. So "Bob" wants me to drink this coffee drink that he makes and I'll do it.

It's good. It's smooth and doesn't have as strong a coffee taste as many other coffee drinks like a Starbucks. It's not too sweet, and it gives me this coffee stuck to my tongue type deal so that makes it seem genuine and like the coffee you know and love.

Bob, may you rest in peace. If you were here when I was drinking this, you'd better believe that I'd share it. 80/20, advantage you. You win, brother.

Website
http://www.marleybeverages.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Pure Cane Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 14th, 2011
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