Cranberry (10 reviews)

Bluewater Farms Fresh Pressed Cranberry

Bluewater Farms Fresh Pressed Cranberry

Yo man, I really need your help. I took...some stuff...and need to detox. I didn't take a lot but my boss is making me take a pee test and I'm afraid they're going to find it in my system and I'm going to get canned. Do you have anything like cranberry juice or something? You do have cranberry juice? That's awesome.

Oh wow. This is great. It's totally different than Ocean Spray. It's a lot of a lighter taste. I don't know if it's more water or less sugar but it's not. It's not so intense. Sometimes I cut my Ocean Spray with water because it's really strong. This is great as is, though.

Can I be honest with you, man? I didn't really do drugs. When you went into the bathroom, I went into your fridge and saw that you had the cranberry juice and didn't know if you would have just given it to me if I had asked. Yeah, I don't mind if you take that phone call.

Who was on the phone? Your boss? On a Saturday? What did he want? Oh, he's having drug tests on Monday and you took some stuff? What? I drank your last cranberry juice? Welp, I think I hear my mom calling me. I've got to go.

Website
http://bluewaterfarms.us/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on August 2nd, 2015
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Sprizz-O Juice & Seltzer Water Cranberry

Sprizz-O Juice & Seltzer Water Cranberry

I missed this review by two days. Two days ago was "Eat a Cranberry Day." Not exactly the most "high holiday" of holidays but it's something. If you have to have a special day, you sign a couple papers and you make it official. You walk door to door with your little clipboard and have people sign it commemorating November 23rd as "Eat a Cranberry Day." Why wouldn't you sign it? It's not religious. It has nothing to do with race. It's not sad. You don't have to buy a card. Why not just sign it?

It's probably just "Eat a Cranberry Day" and not "Eat Cranberries Day" because cranberries are pretty gnarly fruits in themselves. They are bitter and you have to add a bit of sugar to make it taste "good." This drink went right in the middle. What they didn't add in sugar they filled in with bubbles. It's a little bitter and actually tastes pretty close to what a raw cranberry tastes like. It's lightly sweetened and lightly fizzy and it's probably not a drink for kids. I don't know anything about alcohol but I feel like this would be good as a mixer.

Happy belated Eat a Cranberry Day to you all. Maybe next year we won't overlook it like we always do to Physicians Assistant Day or National Cheeseburger Day.

Website
http://sprizz-o.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on November 25th, 2014
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Sprite Cranberry

Sprite Cranberry

Our contact at the Buffalo Coca Cola plant told us this was coming out, and while I had seen the 2lt bottles of it in the grocer store I was keeping my eyes open for smaller bottles, or cans, but alas I did not find them. As a result I’m sitting here with way more pop than I actually need, telling myself that I should just drop the leftovers off with my upstairs neighbor.

Was I shocked to learn that we had not reviewed normal Sprite when I looked through our database? Not at all. You see when we started Thirsty Dudes a few years ago we made a conscious decision to put big soda on the back burner. We figured it was the kind of thing that we would be served at a family party, so there was no rush to go out and purchase it for review. The problem with that logic is that never in a million years would I choose a lemon lime soda over anything else at any point in my life. Lemon lime is perfectly fine, but it’s boring, and I don’t get enough enjoyment out of it to justify the sugar intake. So here we are with our first Sprite review and it’s for their new cranberry variant, which I read was going to be limited to the holiday season.

While I am not a huge fan of lemon lime, I will give Sprite props for not going overboard with the cranberry flavor in this. It could easily have overtaken the entire taste of this drink. At its core this is still mainly a lemon lime soda with a little cranberry flavor added as an afterthought. The added flavor is very light and it stays true to the brands respected flavor. This is all I could ever hope that a cranberry Sprite would taste like.

Website
http://www.sprite.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on November 7th, 2013
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Sprite Lemon Lime Soda 12oz Can (Pack of 24) Choose Flavor Below (Cranberry - Origianal)

Buchulife Sparkling Herbal Water Cranberry

Buchulife Sparkling Herbal Water Cranberry

Part of being a Thirsty Dude is having a beard. It's a light pre-requisite and since we're currently not looking to fill any slots, you can stop filling out that resume. Thirsty Dudes aside, I would still have a beard unless I want to look ten years younger. Since I don't care as much as I probably should about my physical appearance, I have a beard. I grow it out and shave it down and grow it out and shave it down. When it is long, you have to take care of it or you look like a regular old scumbag. I have a medicine cabinet filled with oils, pomades, and waxes to help my hairy buddy look his best.

Now why did I just spend the last couple minutes talking about beards? It's simple, actually. It is because this drink tastes a little bit like a tea tree oil that I use in m' beard. It's very peculiar. It's got a little bit of a mintiness that tastes like when you were a kid and thought that Huck Finn looked cool while he had that wheat in his mouth so you put it in your mouth and it tasted like fresh cut, minty grass. Yes, there is cranberry in there but you are distracted by the other stuff that is going on in there.

I am not well read. I will admit it. I feel like I can grow a wonderful beard. Whether or not I look good with it is a totally different issue that we will undoubtedly handle in another, if not many other reviews. I urge you to try this because it's so strange, so very strange.

Website
http://www.buchulife.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on July 20th, 2013
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Buchulife Sparkling Herbal Water, Cranberry, 16.9-Ounce (Pack of 24)

Welch's Juice Coctail Cranberry

Welch's Juice Coctail Cranberry

You know what's nice? Not having a urinary tract infection. I know that it goes without saying but once you've been through living at college, you learn a thing or two about them. Number one is that you can't drink cranberry juice without at least thinking of one. This drink reminded me of a urinary tract infection unfortunately but it doesn't hinder my opinion of it, as it was good. It was nothing special as it was just a cranberry juice, but it was nice. A juice is a wonderful thing when you spend all your time drinking pop and other things. That being said, I just read the back of this and there are 280 calories in it and now I'm upset that I drank the whole thing. I thought this would be healthier. I don't know why Mr. Welch used corn syrup but I think that I drank it fast enough that it was cool enough to still be enjoyable.

This is good. I could have stood to drink half of it but hey, what are you going to do now, right? Nothing. That's what.

Website
http://www.welchs.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Corn Syrup
Categories
Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on November 2nd, 2012
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Welch's Cranberry Juice Cocktail, 10-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 24)

Kristall Swedish Cranberry

Kristall Swedish Cranberry

With Xmas rapidly approaching little Bobby grew more nervous by the second. While other kids his age were ecstatic about all the presents that were about to be gifted upon them, Bobby suffered from a deep-set fear of his family dinner on the 25th of December. It wasn't that his family was crazy (they were), or that they were prone to squabble over the most trivial of things (they would). His nausea stemmed from the fact that he knew that he would not be able to leave the table until he finished all of his cranberry sauce: the quivering gelatinous mound of bitterly sweet garbage that passed as food only on holidays. Last year he sat at the table until 2:30 on the morning before he was able to get it all down. Ugh. In order to better acclimate himself with the taste of this garbage he had begun drinking a class of cranberry juice every day. Each 24-hour period would result in him sneaking a tiny glass from his mom's stash and forcing it down his throat. After a couple of days he was actually okay with it. It had a weird taste but once he got used to it, he even liked it a little. One would think that he would be ready for the big day, but he knew in his heart of hearts that a glass of Ocean Spray was in reality no comparison to the maroon mound that would be set before him.

His aunt was visiting a couple of days before the holiday to help his mom set everything up. She was the cool aunt. You know the kind that doesn't have any kids of her own. They listen to cool music, maybe have a piercing or two. That was aunt Jeanie. She could sense something was up with Bobby, so she cornered him and asked what was up. He told her his fear, and she said not to worry and that they were going for a little adventure. They jumped in her crappy car covered in stickers of bands that no one who wasn't a teenager during the 90's even remembered and drove to Whole Foods. She didn't say a word, and only bought a single bottle of soda. She poured it into an old Taco Bell cup and handed it to Bobby and told him to drink up. He loved it! It was amazing! It was sweet, fruity and nicely carbonated. After his praise slowed down, Aunt Jeanie showed him the bottle. It was Kristall Cranberry soda. She then told him to take another sip and think of the cranberry sauce they were going to be eating in a few days time. Didn't it taste exactly the same, except with some bubbles? As much as he wanted to deny this claim Bobby looked up to his aunt too much to lie to her. She had him this did taste like cranberry sauce, but how was this good and the sauce like a "festering bowl of dog snot?" She told him to just close his eyes and think of this pop when he was eating his dinner. That's just what he did, and you know what? It was still completely disgusting. Bobby realized the problem with cranberry sauce wasn't the flavor. It was that godforsaken texture. He managed to scarf it down by 10PM that night, but he really couldn't wait until he was old enough to prepare his own plate of food on Xmas so he could skip it altogether.

Website
http://www.kristallbeverage.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Juice, Soda Pop, Sparkling
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 19th, 2011
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Ocean Spray Sparkling Cranberry

Ocean Spray Sparkling Cranberry

I for one approve of the recent trend of sparkling juices in 8oz cans. They seem to be popping up more and more. They are just juice and carbonated water. No sugar added. No sugar needed. They are way healthier than pop, but they still give me the carbonated fix I sometimes crave. I swear it's like I'm a junkie. I get this feeling in the back of my throat and I know that I just won't be able to rest until I drink something carbonated. These little juices have been my current fix.

Ocean Spray was wise to cut the cranberry juice in this with grape juice. If it were pure cranberry it would have been pretty tart and a bit intense. This way it's a bit sweeter (naturally) with the same basic taste.

Website
http://www.oceanspray.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Naturally Sweetened
Categories
Juice, Sparkling
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 25th, 2011
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Ocean Spray Sparkling Cranberry, 8.4-Ounce (Pack of 6)

Rhino's Natural Energy & Fruit Cranberry

Rhino's Natural Energy & Fruit Cranberry

Despite Rhino's track record with energy drinks so far, I was excited to try this one. When companies add real juice to an energy drink, it usually works out well. For example, take Jason's review of Monster Khaos.

No matter how hard I try, cranberry always reminds me of Thanksgiving. More specifically, it reminds me of my great grandmother cheating at rummy and swearing during dinner. In a weird way, that's a very fond memory of mine. I'm bringing this up because this drink has a very strong cranberry taste to it. In fact, it's the only taste I can decipher. It completely masks the energy drink taste, which is good. Unfortunately, despite the memories cranberry drinks conjure up for me, I have never liked it's taste. But as far as energy drinks go, I'd drink this one over 90% out there.

Website
http://www.rhinos-energy.com/en
Country
Germany
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on March 5th, 2011
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Nantucket Nectars Cranberry

Nantucket Nectars Cranberry

There's cranberry juice and there is this cranberry juice. A lot of cranberry juices are too sweet or too tart or too...something. Some of them are so sugary that you can't tell what fruit comprises the juice you're drinking. I understand that the cranberry, or cranius-berrious, is very bitter in its core state and needs some sugar to balance it out. I don't know how someone ate a cranberry and said, "You know Carl? I don't feel bad one iota about dating Karl's ex-wife. They've been broken up for three years and if he can't get over it, that's his problem. Carla and I are in love and there ain't nothing anyone can do about it. Also, do you think that these raw cranberries need sugar? They're very tart and I don't think we can use them for anything."

This is a nice balance and since it's real sugar, you can taste how cranberries were supposed to be tasted, in some of its bitter glory. It's equally delicious whether you're chugging it like some frat dude in a 1980's John Hughes movie, or sipping it like a prep school kid in a 1980's John Hughes movie.

I would like to try to eat a cranberry as-is. I know I could spend something outlandish like $18.99 and get a 2oz. bottle of pure cranberry juice, but what do I look like a guy that has a urinary tract infection? Nope. Clean as a whistle.

Website
http://www.nantucketnectars.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Pure Cane Sugar
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 20th, 2011
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Fizzy Lizzy Cranberry

Fizzy Lizzy Cranberry

I've had good luck with Fizzy Lizzy and bad luck with Fizzy Lizzy. This one, lucky for me, was good luck. I like the concept of Fizzy Lizzy drinks because they are all naturally sweetened, usually with apple juice, and it's just fruit and carbonated, filtered waters. For that reason, you get a very true taste to all drinks. I am not a huge fan of grapefruit, and that's why I didn't like the grapefruit drink they did. This cranberry drink, though, was pretty spot-on to a real cranberry. Cranberries, naturally bitter, are typically drenched in so much sugar that you can't taste the natural tinge of the fruit itself. Fizzy Lizzy wanted you to remember what a real cranberry tastes like and that's what they give you. This drink is bitter. Bittersweet? I never understood that taste. I guess it's just a concatenated way of saying "Oh, it's bitter and sweet."

I liked it and would get another one. I didn't feel like my teeth were rotting out and everyone at the table I shared it with liked it. It starts off bitter but leaves a nice sweet, fruit aftertaste.

Website
http://www.fizzylizzy.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice, Soda Pop, Sparkling
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 24th, 2010
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