Crash'N Cream (1 review)

Chubby Crash'N Cream

Chubby Crash'N Cream

This little guy has been staring me in the eye every time I open my cupboard for about a year now. It’s like he’s just been daring me to taste his awfulness. I don’t even remember where he came from, Mike probably…the bastard. I’d like to imagine that he was summoned forth like some sort of drink demon to ruin my day. You may say, “Hey it’s just soda pop in a cute little bottle.” If you utter those words to me I will tell you that A. Cream soda should not be green. B. No soda should be green. It just means that added food coloring to make it wacky. C. Soda that comes in such a small container can be nothing but overly sweetened to the point where It will instantly erode your teeth and give you a terrible stomach ache.

I’m sick of looking at this. I’m sick of being afraid. Today I face my fears and try the dreaded “Chubby” (phrasing).

Oh my god it may be worse than expected. I opened up the bottle and it smelled like a nice pleasant cream soda. I thought to myself, “Hey maybe this actually won’t be so bad. Maybe you’ve just been paranoid.” Then I took a sip and realized the demon had tricked me into taking a large gulp of his poison. It tastes solely like sweetener, with the faintest, faintest hint of vanilla. It has sugar and/or glucose fructose plus sucralose. You can taste it all battling out inside of your mouth, and no matter who the victor is it will not be your taste buds. Damn you Chubby!

Soda Pop
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on August 4th, 2012
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