Cucumber (6 reviews)
Rob's Really Good Zero Cucumber
Cucumber, eh. I'll try it. Zero, eh. Alright. I don't hate Stevia and/or equivalents. Together at last? We'll see about that. After some scientific discovery, I have come up with the following conclusions. This starts off well. It's promising. It smells like cucumber and tastes like cucumber until...oh...there it is, the badness. It's overly sweet. Too sweet, even. It's that fake sweetener "too sweet" where it's sweet and cold at the same time.
Remember when you were in your freshman year of college and there was that adorable little girl that, for some reason, liked you? She was like five foot naught and somehow, without access to a legitimate kitchen, would make you cookies and cupcakes but out of the genuine sweetness of her heart and not because cupcakes are "cool" and a fad. She makes them because she wants to be noticed. She is truly sweet and was probably unfortunately taken by some dirtbag on the lacrosse team who just didn't treat her right. That simile is not like this drink. The simile to this drink is the girl you ended up with for six unfortunate days that loved light beer and was not shy to show a little too much skin and was a bit of a floozy. You knew that you made a mistake. She never made you sweets but she once bought you a cake that she got from a college party that somehow was still in one piece but had a ridiculous amount of the world's worst frosting ever one it. That's this drink. Frat cake. Too sweet. Promising on paper but just too much.
- Website
- http://www.robsreallygood.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Non-GMO Sweetener Blend
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 11/15/2012
- Comments
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Rob's Really Good Cucumber
It tastes like cucumber and that's strange to you, huh? Never had a vegetable juice that is sweet, huh? Well guess what? It happens, brother or sister depending on what sex you are. It happens. Sometimes is happens well and sometimes it happens...not so well. This time, Rob's did a good job. It's not a juice, technically, but it's sweeter than you might expect.
I will say that the sweetness might "common folk" it up. You know, make it so Joe Everyman can come home from the ol' Packard Sawmill and drink something healthy, even though this isn't really healthy as much as it is just low in calories.
For me, I'm more of a man that is on the fringe, the bleeding edge. I am not scared of just something that tastes like liquid celery, because that's what I expected when I drank this, although I do congratulate Rob on making something that is still in the essence of cucumber and tastes so much like it but is still quenching.
- Website
- http://www.robsreallygood.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Other/Weird
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 8/2/2011
- Comments
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FunctionALOE Cleanse Cucumber
I just finished off a container of hands down the best salsa I have ever tasted in my life. Christine Mackie’s mom made it, and I will love her forever for her salsa skills. The mass amounts of basil in it made it absolutely incredible. I am going to have dreams for months about this salsa. It will haunt me that it is not readily available in my life.
Now that it’s gone I just want a nice crisp tasting beverage. Cucumber drinks have never failed me in the past. They are always refreshing and tasty. Now you mix cucumber with aloe and you should have an award winning drink, right? Wrong! If I were a dirty child at some crazy strict olde timey Catholic school a nun would have smacked me over the knuckles with a ruler for that incorrect answer. Yes in theory it should have been amazing. In the world of functionAloe it was down right terrible. It tastes like neither aloe nor cucumber. It does taste like it should be some sort of cleaner. I really couldn’t get more than a few sips down before I started contemplating if I needed to call poison control. If I downed this entire bottle I think I might have to get my stomach pumped. I guess they weren’t kidding when they named this “Cleanse.”
Some people may blame the taste on the fact that it’s sweetened with stevia, but I can vouch for that little guy. I’ve had plenty of drinks that he has sweetened and he is my favorite “diet” sweetener. Also, there are no chunks in this. What is a point of an aloe drink without fun chunks?
For something that had the potential to be one of my favorite drinks ever this went in completely the wrong direction. It would have been hard for them to make it any worse. I really wish I had more of that incredible salsa to kill the poison on my tongue.
- Website
- http://www.lilyofthedesert.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Stevia Leaf Extract
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 6/28/2011
- Comments
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Dry Cucumber
Darling, I'm feeling a bit fatigued. Do you see bags under my eyes? Oh, how dreadful. Sweetie, could you fetch me some cucumber slices for my eyes so that I can look my best for the gala tonight? What do you mean that we don't have any sliced cucumbers prepared? Don't you think we should, in case, oh I don't know, I have bags under my eyes? Please, slice up some and fetch me a sparkling water, too, while you're at it. I'm feeling a bit parched.
Oh, thank you very much. Although, next time, slice the cucumbers a bit thicker. It's not like you're paying for them. Actually, it's not like I am either. Husband is. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Now go tend to the laundry. Husband was complaining about not having any socks that matched.
Now that I'm alone, I'll just grab this sliced cucumber and put it on my...oh drats. I've dropped my cucumber into my water. No worries. I have more. I like cucumber in regular water, let's try this. Well, this is something special. It's bubbly, and we all know how I love the bubbly. Ha ha ha ha ha. It gets the sweetness from the cucumber as well as the crisp, clean taste. I might be on to something. Oh help. Help, come here please. Could we patent this as a drink? We can't? Why is that? You mean there is a company called Dry that already makes this drink? Well, I applaud their efforts. Now fetch me my black dress. It's time for that gala.
- Website
- http://www.drysoda.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Pure Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Soda Pop
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 3/20/2011
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
- Buy Now
- Cucumber DRY Soda, 12pk
Mr. Q. Cumber Cucumber
Wow. Just Wow. Really, who would have thought that this would just be incredible? I thought it would be interesting, and at the best I thought it would be decent. This just surpasses anything I could have imagined. It tastes exactly like cucumbers. There is no other flavor at all. It's like you went out to your garden picked some cucumbers and juiced them. It may be the most refreshing soda I have ever had. I'm actually upset that I don't this available to me at all times. It's also in the perfect size bottle (7oz).
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Soda Pop
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 10/20/2010
- Comments
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R.W. Knudsen Sparkling Essence Cucumber
This looked so enticing sitting on the shelf. I had never even thought of it before, but a cucumber spritzer just sounds so refreshing. Unfortunately the carbonation in the drink tastes exactly like seltzer water, which I greatly dislike. I will say that underneath the bitter seltzer taste, it does taste exactly like cucumbers. Hopefully in the future a different cucumber spritzer will hit the market that I can enjoy.
- Website
- http://www.rwknudsenfamily.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 9/7/2010
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
