Energy (11 reviews)

Joe Tea Energy

Joe Tea Energy

I am a big fan of Joe Tea, but unfortunately it’s not available around Buffalo, or at least so I thought. Out of all of the places I would find this product at an antique mall was pretty low on my list. Yet, there it was amongst the overpriced porcelain and the furniture I generally like, but can’t justify paying so much for. Why was I at said antique mall you might ask? Well, let me tell you I was there to look for a cabinet to put the taxidermy coyote I recently bought on. Yes, I am a 20+ year vegetarian and yes I have a bunch of taxidermy. It’s all older than I am and I really want my house to look like the grandfather’s from Lost Boys. Either that or a museum.

So there I am, wondering why a toy from a cereal box is marked $60 that I had about a dozen of when I was a kid when I glance up and see the cooler filled with Joe Tea. It was a glorious site, especially when I noticed this new flavor.

This is basically their great half and half with more caffeine added. It’s the Jolt of iced tea. I can’t complain. I haven’t tasted them back to back, but in my memory it tastes the same as the regular version, which I love. It tastes like tea. It tastes like lemonade. It tastes like playing golf. Wait, no. That’s just a name. It’s just delicious and it’s sweet without being overwhelming. It’s what I want and it’s what I got and I’m a happy shopper besides going home empty handed otherwise.

Website
http://www.joetea.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink, Iced Tea, Lemonade
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 1 week, 5 days ago
Comments
View and Leave A Comment
Buy Now

Positive Beverage Positive Energy

Positive Beverage Positive Energy

This stinks. This is disappointing and it stinks. I wanted this to be a bitter green tea, maybe a mildly sweetened but gnarly green tea. I could not be more wrong. This tastes like green tea flavored plastic. That's not what you came here for. You came here for details. Alright, you've got it.

Right off the bat, it smells bad. It smells like it tastes and it smells like burnt plastic. Initial taste is bitter but a vitamin bitter. Not a green tea bitter. What sweetener do they use in here that toxifying this thing? Oh would you look at that; sucralose, the bastard of all sweeteners.

Also, since we all know my opinions on this thing, let's talk about "natural energy." The energy in this might be real but the rest of it tastes like a chemical mess.

Oh, and also the "cross out" above "Gluten Free" makes it seem like it's not gluten free.

Website
http://www.positivebeverage.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Energy Drink, Iced Tea
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on July 14th, 2015
Comments
View and Leave A Comment
Buy Now
Positive Charge, Natural Energy, Zero Calorie and Sugar Free

God Mode Energy

God Mode Energy

You’ve finally gone and done it; you beat life. It was the hardest game you’ve ever played, but you did it. You went to school. You had a family. You bought a house. You became a grandparent. You retired. You took up hobbies. All of your kids had relatively good lies, as did their children. Then you found yourself slipping off this mortal coil in relative peace, happy with the way everything went. Sure there were a few things you would have liked to have tried differently to see how they would turn out, but you know like everyone says “you only live once.”

Friend do I have news for you. All of those people were lying to you. You can live forever in unlimited timelines. You can make every decision however you like, and if you’re unhappy with it, go back and try again…that is if you were smart enough to down at least one shot of God Mode while you still walked the mortal realm. Science has come a long way my friends. It’s had its setbacks, but then everything fell into place once those who bear the white coats realized that god is a jerk and this is all just a game. After that it was a simple mixing of some ingredients and voila, infinite health and infinite life. You’re in charge.

To make matters even better, the shot tastes delicious. They decided to mask all of the important stuff in a blueberry green tea. Sure it has some stevia in it that gives it a bit of a cool diet taste, but overall it tastes like tea. It’s the kind of thing you would happily drink a full glass of, and that is not common in shot beverages.

So there you have it. You can essentially become a god amongst men and do whatever you want: your life, your rules. I would be a little careful though. There are some batches that got mixed up with another mixture they were working on, so you either can do whatever you want, consequences be damned, or it will just help with cognitive function, focus, visual perception, stamina, problem solving ability, reaction time and just give you some energy that helps while playing video games.

Website
http://godmodeenergy.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Sugar Cane
Categories
Energy Drink, Shot
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 18th, 2014
Comments
View and Leave A Comment

Bulletproof Energy

Bulletproof Energy

I was all prepared to ramble about the movie Bulletproof starring Damon Wayans and Adam Sandler in this review, but then I tasted the drink. Let me preface by saying that I like sugar. I eat candy from time to time, prefer my iced tea sweetened, and put sugar (or sugar substitute) in my coffee. That being said, this is WAY too sweet. The phrase "terribly sweet" comes to mind, because nothing should be this sweet. I had 6 cavities filled 7 months ago and two sips of this makes it feel like I'm already developing another 6.

I would like to say that this would be better if it was sugar free, but Jay's review of that didn't fare well either.

Website
http://www.bulletproofenergy.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on April 26th, 2013
Comments
View and Leave A Comment
Buy Now
8 Pack - Bulletproof Energy - 16oz.

Wat-Ahh! Energy

Wat-Ahh! Energy

So I says to Dan I says, "Dan, remember how you were complaining about there not being enough oxygen in your water? Welp, here you go. Together we drink and together we are energized." I don't know why I went a little "80's Russian bad guy" there but I did.

It's water with more oxygen. No one asked for it but if you're going to further perfect and enhance water with no drawbacks, please, you are doing a good thing. Keep doing miniscule, minute changes/fixes to make the best beverage even better.

Website
http://drinkwataah.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Water
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on November 6th, 2012
Comments
View and Leave A Comment

Spider Energy

Spider Energy

We all know the origin story of Spiderman: Peter Parker is a nerd, who does to a science exhibit about radiation where he gets bit by a radioactive spider and gains supernatural powers. Exciting, but ultimately just a story. What you may not know is that scientists have recently found spider webs in a radioactive area where no life should be able to exist. What that story doesn’t tell you is that they have found the spiders in question, captured them and scientists have studied them in captivity. They came to the conclusion that a bite from one of these spiders can in fact give you super human strength and powers, and the military has been working on a way to weaponize that. In addition they have discovered that if the venom is significantly diluted it can be used to make energy drinks. These drinks give you a limited range of the abilities of a full dose for a few hours. They thought it would be a nice gift to the citizens of the United States. Having super powers, even for a limited time is a dream for most Americans. It’s unfortunate that in the sea of energy drinks that has flooded the market “Spider Energy” has been virtually lost.

The strange thing about radioactive spider venom is that it has an orange flavor to it. I was actually surprised that orange juice was not an added ingredient, and that it is in fact the flavor of the venom. It’s actually more of an “orange drink” flavor mixed with your everyday orange soda. It’s not bad, and the flavor is certainly worth it for those wacky spider powers. They warn you that if you get bit you’ll certainly “stay lit” and eventually burn out like so many test subjects before you. If you only drink this beverage the side effects only include crashing from the dizzying highs.

Website
http://spiderenergy.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucrose
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on April 30th, 2012
Comments
View and Leave A Comment
Buy Now
Spider Energy Drink, Original, 16-Ounce (Pack of 8)

Kyk Pure Energy

Kyk Pure Energy

When I got this pouch, I figured it was an all in one drink mix so I filled up my water bottle, poured this in, and mixed it around a little. Then I took a sip and couldn't believe how bad it tasted. It didn't taste like much, but it tasted like bad water. Then it hit me: you're supposed to add this to an already flavored drink. I'm an idiot.

So basically, this is to give your drink a kick of energy (hence the name of the company). Speaking of the name of this company, they might want to consider changing it since people might mispronounce it as a racial slur.

This is a weird sub-section of drinks, because it's impossible to fairly judge it on it's taste because it's not meant to be consumed on it's own. As far as function goes, it's great! I was feeling sleepy and now I’m totally awake after drinking half of it.

Website
http://kykenergy.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Stevia
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink, Mix/Concentrate
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on February 28th, 2012
Comments
View and Leave A Comment
Buy Now
Pure Kyk Energy - 50 Count Box

Amp Energy

Amp Energy

There are two types of people in the world: those who love Mountain Dew, and those that think it's really disgusting. I am on team "Mountain Spew". I have had this Mountain Dew flavored energy drink before and didn't like it. I bought this for a friend who was going to be screen printing all night, but he ended up not needing it so I decided to drink it.

Now when you mix a drink I already hate with lots of typically gross tasting energy ingredients, it's a recipe for disaster. This taste like someone mixed Mountain Dew in a vat with a piece of carpet and then filtered it through a moldy sponge. Sure it does the job and gives you energy, but at what cost? I feel like my stomach hates me right now.

Website
http://www.ampenergy.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on June 18th, 2011
Comments
View and Leave A Comment
Buy Now
AMP ENERGY 12 PK / 16 OZ CANS

Monster Energy

Monster Energy

I can safely say I am an energy drink connoisseur. I do my best work late at night so naturally I am a night owl. I have easily tried 50 different energy drinks over the past 10 years and I always seem to come back to the original Monster flavor. It has a strong citrus flavor. It also sometimes reminds me of sour apple. Like most energy drinks, it has that usual energy drink battery acid chemical taste. I feel like it isn't as bad with this kind though, but it may be because I got used to it.

Website
http://www.monsterenergy.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucrose
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on May 1st, 2011
Comments
View and Leave A Comment
Buy Now
16 Pack - Monster Original Energy Drink - 16 ounce

Glaceau Vitamin Water Energy

Glaceau Vitamin Water Energy

Tropical? Yes.
Quenching? Yes.
Pretty good? Yep.

As per most Vitamin Waters, they're pretty good. This one is no different. Everyone gives them flak because they're not good for you, and they're right, but calm down. Sometimes you need a bit of flavor in your life. You get a strong mango flavor so if you're not into it, put this back and get one of their other 15 flavors. Every time I look, they have more. You don't get a strong fake sugar flavor to this either, which is excellent. There is both crystalline fructose and cane sugar, so their duo might cancel each other out. As per all other Vitamin Water's, I don't know what is the distinguishable difference between a "water" and a "juice". I can't see through this beverage so I assume it's a juice. If I poured it into a glass, I would say that it's juice.

Website
http://www.glaceau.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Crystalline Fructose
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 27th, 2010
Comments
View and Leave A Comment
Buy Now
Glaceau Vitamin Water, Energy Tropical Citrus, 20-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 24)
<< previous | 1 | 2 |