Fruit Punch (35 reviews)

Naked Nutrition Energy Fruit Punch

Naked Nutrition Energy Fruit Punch

Oh boy, this one is a doozy! We don’t review many non-ready-to-drink beverages, but when a company contacts us about sending samples for review we aren’t going to say no. I mean, they are still things you drink, it just takes a little more work on your end. I was really expecting to be sent a one serving sample of this, but Naked were very nice and sent a full sized 1lb container. It is much appreciated.

So it’s been a slow Sunday in mid-April and the weather is pure garbage. I had no plans this afternoon, so I decided to go to the gym and take this for a test drive. The directions say to mix one of two scoops into 8oz of water (or your favorite beverage and mix it thoroughly. The nutritional facts say that one serving is two scoops so I did just that. Unfortunately I have to say that it did not taste all that pleasant. The fruit punch flavor was very much overshadowed by the taste of supplements. It’s a bit chemically. I would advise someone to mix it into something other than water to avoid that. If I use it again I’m going to try mixing it into some vanilla seltzer, which seems weird to drink before working out. I’m gonna be all burps.

Okay, so the flavor is not all that great. That can be acceptable, as it is a functional product and not meant for the pleasure of one’s taste buds. This is some strong stuff though. It’s meant to help push you in your workouts and give you “clean” energy. I can attest that it does that very much. I also had some side effects though. Now, it’s happened very rarely, but it has happened that I have gotten the “Niacin Flush” from certain strong energy drinks. For those who don’t’ know what that is, it is when you take too much vitamin B3 and you get warm, look like you have a sunburn, and experience a tingly/burning /itchy sensation. In the past when it has happened It was in my face and top of my head. With this product my whole body felt insane. If I didn’t know what it was I would have been highly concerned, searched Wed MD and convinced myself I was dying from some exotic disease. Being in the know, I just went on with my workout and this product definitely pushed me more than I normally would have. I did feel completely crazy the entire time and was just aware of my entire body. Then when I toweled off sweat my body just wanted to be touched more (not like that you creep). I’ve never taken Ecstasy, but from how I’ve seen it portrayed in movies and tv, I’m guessing it feels like this to a way crazier extent. Keep in mind I’m not saying this will happen to everyone, but I would suggest starting off with only one scoop and see how that works out for you. I’m going to try again in a few days on my next gym outing and lower my dose and see how that treats me. Hopefully not feeling like a maniac.

Website
http://nkdnutrition.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Pure Cane Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink, Mix/Concentrate, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on April 15th, 2018
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Kra Sports Drink Fruit Punch

Kra Sports Drink Fruit Punch

In a recent review I spoke of how no sports drink company will be able to overthrow the dynasty of Gatorade. It has become to ingrained in our culture that it’s essentially on the same level as Jello, Xerox , or Kleenex. Many have tried to replace it and all have failed. If there were a movie made about the fall of big Gatorade Kra would be our star. Rising from humble beginnings and fighting against all odds to take down the behemoth.
Sadly, at this point this is only fiction, but I feel a change is going to come. My faith comes from the thought that started this product to begin with; “Why do athletes, who are so committed to taking care of their bodies, hydrate with super-sugary, chemical-filled sports drinks?” The truth is that there aren’t many readily available options and young athletes are taught to bow down before the G at such an early age that they rarely question it. Kra created an alternative. It is a sports drink made from water, juice, minimal (real) sugar, and sea salt. There is nothing artificial in here, which means there is nothing to feel bad about ingesting. It tastes like a slightly salty juice and that salt goes a long way to not only replenish your body, but to also make the flavor a bit more interesting. It in no way tastes like a ton of salt was dumped in here, it’s just around the edges, but it sticks to your lips a little making it intriguing.

This is like a Juicy Juice for adult athletes (sure kids can drink it too). It does it’s intended job and does it while tasting great and not being syrupy. Soon people will chant “The king is dead. Long live the king.”

Website
http://www.drinkkra.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on April 29th, 2017
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Big Shot Fruit Punch

Big Shot Fruit Punch

Just churning it out, just churning out garbage. Some companies use high quality ingredients handpicked from local gardens. Those people are not these people. These people...these people. These people are making carbonated poison as far as I'm concerned. Look, it's not that bad. I mean, it's bad, don't get me wrong.

This has that strange, sharpness that you don't want in anything you ingest. I mean, there aren't any great fruit punches around but this is worse than your average bear and fruit punch. Fruity? Yep. Not anything you should find yourself drinking.

Website
http://www.nolacajun.com/Big-Shot-Soda_p_13.html
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on July 18th, 2014
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Veryfine Chill Fruit Punch

Veryfine Chill Fruit Punch

Sometimes my friends, the bargain just isn’t worth it. You’re in the store looking for something to quench your thirst and you come across a tallboy whose label announced it as “Only $1.” The natural reaction is, “Wow, that’s quite a deal. I’d be paying less than five cents per fluid ounce.” The problem with that is, that even if what is contained in the can is the tastiest beverage on Earth, do you really need 23oz of it in one sitting? I understand that the Nutrition Facts state that the can actually holds three servings, but who doesn’t drink it all in one go, or throw out the remainder? If this was a resealable bottle, it would be a different story, but these drinks are marketed for people to grab whilst on the go and no one wants to carry around an open can until they are ready for their next serving.

The sad truth is that this is not only too much beverage, but also it is far from being the tastiest beverage on the planet. It’s a fruit punch that only contains 5% juice. That means that 95% of what you’d be drinking is composed of weird stuff like ester of wood rosin, brominated vegetable oil and of course corn syrup. I know a lot of that is actually water, but still, come on. Fruit punch is not very good to begin with. I was once told that it was the beverage of children and poor people. While I do think there was a bit of racism meant in that statement, I have to admit that I have never seen anyone who was over the age of 15 and well off drinking anything of this variety (unless it was mixed juices at a fancy juice bar, which I wouldn’t consider fruit punch).

This does have couple of things going for it, and they all boil down to the sweeteners used. Veryfine decided to mix sucralose in with their corn syrup to lower the calorie count in the beverage. It leaves it with a slight diet flavor, but nothing unbearable. The big up to that is that it’s a fruit punch that doesn’t feel like you’re drinking syrup.

Overall it still has that generic fruit punch flavor that is like the hotdogs of juices (ie. whatever is leftover). I appreciate the company taking steps to improve fruit punch, but there is still a long ways to go. Also, unless you’re planning on sharing this with a friend, I really hope you plan on pouring a bunch of it out, or have a fridge close by to save it for later.

Website
http://www.veryfine.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Corn Syrup
Categories
Juice
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 23rd, 2014
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BodyArmor Super Drink Fruit Punch

BodyArmor Super Drink Fruit Punch

Hank went on a cruise. Hank loved cruises. He would go anywhere that the boat told him to go. He was like a lemming when it came to sight seeing. The people at the docks would say, "Sir. Do you want to go to swim with the dolphins?" and he would almost never not do it. The only time he would say no would be when he saw a souvenir shop in a country that he hadn't been to and just needed to get a key chain to add to his collection.

Hank loved going to shore as much as he loved going on the ship but when he was on the ship, he would eat a copious amount of fruit. One day, he came from the shore with a coconut. He knew that he would have to use it before he got back to the States because they couldn't bring it back into the country. He decided to have some fun with it.

He went to the cafeteria at night and got a bowl full of fruit. He got cherries, apples, pineapples, and oranges. He brought them to the kids pool which was now empty as the kids were asleep. He hated getting sticky so he went into the pool with all the fruit. He started mushing up all the fruit into a cup; one fruit at a time into the cup. Finally, when all the fruit was properly mushed up, he put some of the coconut juice into the cup. He took one sip and regretted not doing it sooner. It tastes like a fruit punch that was properly sweetened not with corn syrup but with the natural sugar from the fruit as well as some raw sugar packets from the cafeteria. It was slightly chalky because of the coconut water but still very drinkable.

Just as he finished his drink, some of the deckhands saw him and chased him out of the kid’s pool. He ran away holding his cup but dropping a trail of squished fruit and seeds along the way. The security aboard the ship found his room easily and just told him not to make a mess in the pool anymore. He obliged and sat quietly in his room and drank what was left of his concoction.

Website
http://drinkbodyarmor.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Pure Cane Sugar
Categories
Coconut, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 19th, 2013
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BodyArmor SuperDrink, Fruit Punch, 16-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Push Fruit Punch

Push Fruit Punch

You know that I drink a lot of stuff, right people? A lot. I would say that we drink more drinks that 99% of the rest of the world which, finally, puts us into that equal parts idolized and hated 1%. Ahh, the one percent. The air up here is just nicer to breathe. Filled with the scents of the most exotic of woods and scented oils. The people are all very easy to look at and their clothes are made from materials so soft that if the rest of you heathens as much as touched them, you would never be able to touch anything else because your fingertips would quite literally revolt from your hands. You will have to wait for eye scanning because your fingertips will be blank and you will never be able to use a biometric scanner ever again. Our hair is styled from both the greatest living hairstylists for free as our shoes are shined by perfect robotic representations of the world's finest dead shoe shiners.

We are also provided, at gratis, the finest drinks. We receive soda pop with all natural flavors and just the right amount of fizz. What do you get? You get drinks like this that could be personified as boring, tired, and characterless. While I am drinking something that was made from fresh fruit, you are drinking something that in every sense of the word is artificial. I am drinking something carbonated to my liking and you are drinking this drink that might as well be a juice due to the lack of fizz.

In order to get where we have gotten you will have to work very hard, know the right people, and do some schmoozing. It's all part of a days work and since none of us have to work any more, it does leave time to clean up at the back nine, polish off a case or two of the finest cigars, once again, for free, and shop for things we don't need like chrome shoes, personal elephant groomers, diamond Montblanc pencils, and heated cat hats. Which reminds me, I've got to pay my tie repairman and personal closet organizer before the end of the week or my life will just be the pits.

Website
http://www.pushbeverages.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on August 26th, 2013
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Gamma Labs G Fuel Fruit Punch

Gamma Labs G Fuel Fruit Punch

Diet fruit punch should not exist in any form.

Website
http://www.gammalabs.net/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink, Mix/Concentrate
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on August 26th, 2013
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Gamma Labs G Fuel Power Packs, Fruit Punch, 20 Count

NOS Active Fruit Punch

NOS Active Fruit Punch

"A Drink For The Tired Athlete" might not be the greatest line, Jim. I know we at NOS pride ourselves on cool packaging and potent energy drinks but the term "tired" is kind of insulting, don't you think? Yes, this is our first foray into the world of hydration but this isn't our first tagline and that one isn't going to push a lot of product. Jim, come on. Look, this isn't our finest drink, I know, but we aren't the type of company to phone it in. We can't be lazy, especially since there are other players already in the market. Let's take a look at what we've got here before we move any further.

We've got an energy drink. We've already proven ourselves a big fish in that market. Let's just move on. We've got a hydration drink. Yes, it's like Gatorade and Powerade but we're mixing other stuff in so it's different. Those other guys don't have caffeine in there and we do so we are going to stand out. The fruit punch flavor is really hard, or so I hear from the flavor scientists at the lab. They did an alright job with this. Right when you take a sip you get a good fruit punch flavor. That lasts about a second. What's strange is that when it sits on your tongue for any longer it starts to get more and more stingy. I don't know where that's coming from to be honest. Neither does the lab. You think they would since they carefully added each ingredient.

You know what, Jim? The more I think about it; maybe it's the lab guys that are the issue. It's easy not to release a bad item into the marketplace. You just don't do it. These guys said it was alright and pushed it out and it's not bad but it's got a certain "really diet energy drink" taste to it. It tastes like a really diet version of two otherwise fine things. That diet branch might have just allowed me to go on a purge of my own because I'm about to trim the fat all over this place, Jim. Get out of my office! I've got some firing to do!

Website
http://www.drinknos.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Dextrose
Categories
Energy Drink, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on June 3rd, 2013
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Welch's Fruit Punch

Welch's Fruit Punch

Any time I drink fruit punch I imagine that if I had an array of fruit and hand-mushed them together, could I make a better drink? I'm not saying this is bad, but it's just a common thought that I have. You know that fruit punch came from someone making a fruit salad and then at the end of the day when all the fruit was gone some dared someone else to drink it. That drink was fantastic and from there, people recreated it. Now in the 20th century, people artificially make everything. I think at some point, Welch's probably had a bunch of fruit in a press and mechanically squished it into a vat. Now, they've probably found out how to "make" fruit flavors and it's a much smaller and more efficient operation.

This is a good juice. It's a good punch. It's very sweet and you can tell that it's very sweet. It's got corn syrup, which just seems wrong to me. I don't know why. I thought that Welch's was all natural. I thought wrong. This is a great drink for kids because it's super sweet and super fruity. Cruddy adults don't really drink fruit punch. If someone could somehow formulate an adult-friendly fruit punch, that would be alright with me.

Website
http://www.welchs.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Corn Syrup
Categories
Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 18th, 2013
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Welch's Fruit Punch Drink , 11.5-Ounce Cans (Pack of 24)

Tahitian Treat Fruit Punch

Tahitian Treat Fruit Punch

I hate myself for spending money on this. I knew I hated it. I’ve known for as long as I can remember that Tahitian Treat is pure sugar swill. Thirsty Dudes must march on though, and we have yet to review this, so I suppose I should get to it.

Think of a fruit punch that lies somewhere in the middle ground between generic and Hawiian Punch. Take that overly sweetened garbage that is in no way shape or form juice and add some tiny bubbles to it. There you have what is in this bottle. If that sounds appealing to you, well…good for you. To me, it sounds like an instant stomach ache and tooth decay.

I wrote that review before I even opened this up. After taking two sips I can say that it’s pretty accurate, but I think that if I tried I could get this whole bottle down. I don’t want to, nor am I going to, but if I chose to, I could. For that fact and that fact only I will give this two bottles, instead of one. You’re welcome Tahitian Treat. While we’re at it, I would like to wager that the indigenous people of Tahiti are disgusted that they are being associated with this. If I’m wrong, let me know where to send the money, and I will avoid Tahiti for the rest of my life.

On a closing note, I’d like to point out that Canadians love this stuff for some reason. The last time we went up to Soda Pop Central in Ontario they had us bring up more cases that I was comfortable purchasing. I don’t want the cashiers in the stores around here thinking I have terrible taste. How could they ever take this site seriously?

Ha. I just went to the Soda Pop Central Website and on the front page it says, “Tahitian Treat is out of stock until further notice, sorry.” I know your body Canada.

Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 11th, 2013
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TAHITIAN TREAT SODA 2/12 pks
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