Fruit Punch (30 reviews)
Welch's Fruit Punch
Any time I drink fruit punch I imagine that if I had an array of fruit and hand-mushed them together, could I make a better drink? I'm not saying this is bad, but it's just a common thought that I have. You know that fruit punch came from someone making a fruit salad and then at the end of the day when all the fruit was gone some dared someone else to drink it. That drink was fantastic and from there, people recreated it. Now in the 20th century, people artificially make everything. I think at some point, Welch's probably had a bunch of fruit in a press and mechanically squished it into a vat. Now, they've probably found out how to "make" fruit flavors and it's a much smaller and more efficient operation.
This is a good juice. It's a good punch. It's very sweet and you can tell that it's very sweet. It's got corn syrup, which just seems wrong to me. I don't know why. I thought that Welch's was all natural. I thought wrong. This is a great drink for kids because it's super sweet and super fruity. Cruddy adults don't really drink fruit punch. If someone could somehow formulate an adult-friendly fruit punch, that would be alright with me.
- Website
- http://www.welchs.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Corn Syrup
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 3/18/2013
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Tahitian Treat Fruit Punch
I hate myself for spending money on this. I knew I hated it. I’ve known for as long as I can remember that Tahitian Treat is pure sugar swill. Thirsty Dudes must march on though, and we have yet to review this, so I suppose I should get to it.
Think of a fruit punch that lies somewhere in the middle ground between generic and Hawiian Punch. Take that overly sweetened garbage that is in no way shape or form juice and add some tiny bubbles to it. There you have what is in this bottle. If that sounds appealing to you, well…good for you. To me, it sounds like an instant stomach ache and tooth decay.
I wrote that review before I even opened this up. After taking two sips I can say that it’s pretty accurate, but I think that if I tried I could get this whole bottle down. I don’t want to, nor am I going to, but if I chose to, I could. For that fact and that fact only I will give this two bottles, instead of one. You’re welcome Tahitian Treat. While we’re at it, I would like to wager that the indigenous people of Tahiti are disgusted that they are being associated with this. If I’m wrong, let me know where to send the money, and I will avoid Tahiti for the rest of my life.
On a closing note, I’d like to point out that Canadians love this stuff for some reason. The last time we went up to Soda Pop Central in Ontario they had us bring up more cases that I was comfortable purchasing. I don’t want the cashiers in the stores around here thinking I have terrible taste. How could they ever take this site seriously?
Ha. I just went to the Soda Pop Central Website and on the front page it says, “Tahitian Treat is out of stock until further notice, sorry.” I know your body Canada.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Categories
- Soda Pop
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 3/11/2013
- Comments
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- Buy Now
- TAHITIAN TREAT SODA 2/12 pks
Venom Energy Death Adder Fruit Punch
Hawaiian Punch energy drink. I don't know how else to describe it because that is exactly how it tastes. Instead of reading me ramble incoherently, you should listen to The Best Show right now because they are having a fundraiser tonight and those shows are always entertaining: http://www.wfmu.org/playlists/BS
- Website
- http://www.venomenergy.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Corn Syrup
- Categories
- Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 3/5/2013
- Comments
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Mountain Dew Kickstart Fruit Punch
Did you know that Mountain Dew has a new CEO? That may or may not be shocking to you, but what you will say “wait whhhhhhaaaaa?” to is that fact that the new man in charge is no one other than Motley Crue bass player, Nikki Sixx. In a press release he assured stockholders that his crucial rocking will not interfere with the running of the business. He was quoted as saying, “If I can get our sound guy to teach me how to use Photoshop on the bus, that I can certainly run a multinational company from that very same home on wheels.” This left many people in the business and soda world shaking their heads until Mr. Sixx announced the release of a new line of Mountain Dew drinks called “Kick Start.” The newly appointed head of the company then told the world that the product tag line would be “Kick Start your heart from another overdose.” This left shareholders even more bewildered.
We recently received samples of this new line, and everyone at Mountain Dew can calm themselves down as no such tagline exists anywhere on the packaging. In fact it looks rather tasteful and one would never expect that a person capable of such debauchery had anything to do with its creation. The flavor of the Fruit Punch version isn’t all that bad either. Even though it is sweetened primarily by high fructose corn syrup, it’s not as think as you would expect, especially for being a fruit punch. It has 5% juice in it, all of which seems to be grape juice for some reason. If I had to break it down for you, which I do, I would say it tastes like someone mixed two parts of mild fruit punch in with one part regular Mountain Dew. It’s not mind-blowing, or anything all that new, but it tastes pleasant enough.
It has 92mg of caffeine in it, which is slightly more than regular Mountain Dew and about half of the amount in a comparable sized coffee. I know they are trying to push this as a morning drink, but I really have no interest in drinking anything carbonated within the first couple hours that I’m awake. Mountain Dew obviously is always marketed towards younger folks, but man even in college I wouldn’t have drank this until the afternoon. Rumor has it that Mr Sixx has been on a steady diet of nothing and Kick Start for the past month. He has overdosed a half dozen times in that time period.
- Website
- http://www.mountaindew.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 2/22/2013
- Comments
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Welch's 100% Juice Fruit Punch
What a day, right? I got a new phone that doesn't really work well, I have an old lady next door that doesn't want to call the insurance company about her house falling apart onto my fence and car, and I have juice. Great. Is it a great juice? Eh, it's good. It's kind of thick, if I may be so blunt. It's appley tangy and if I may be blunter, I like a little more fruit in my punch. This is a simple punch. The model, if you will. Grapes, apples, crappy pears, cherry. If I went to a party, I would dig in and leave a quarter of the fruit, i.e.: pears, in the bowl. It's good, though. Simple. Elegant. If you went to a black tie affair, this is the punch you would have. If you are wearing a black tie, you're too good for things like mangoes and/or pineapples. Please. Import fruit. This is a fancy affair. Look at the women wearing hats. This is fancy. If you're eating passion fruit, you get downstairs with the help. We're drinking punch up here.
- Website
- http://www.welchs.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 1/7/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Arizona Fruit Punch
No. We haven't done this before. Yes. It has been out for a decade. There is no shortage of reviews for Arizona reviews on this site. As a matter of fact, they are one of the most reviewed products that we've done. Sometimes, though, things slip through the cracks. Things we've drank one hundred times we don't remember if we drank for personal pleasure or for the good of the site. Up until now, this was strictly a pleasure drink. Well, not any more, kids. Now it's business.
Look at all the darn fruit on this bottle. Let me count the ways this is a fruit punch: apple, pear, mango, cherry, both green and concord grapes, and strawberry. That's a plethora of fruit. That would make a pretty decent fruit salad. Does it make a decent drink, though? Well, yes, it does. You can't taste everything. I feel like I'm missing out on some mango action, perhaps some cherry, too. Do I hold it against them? No. How fine are people's taste buds that they can distinguish between like ten fruits all while being sweetened by corn syrup? No, that's not a dig. It's just what they use to sweeten it. Sure, I'd like to taste this with real sugar, or even sugarless, but it's not penalizing them. The sweetener is fine because there are a lot of fruit flavors going on in that bottle.
Arizona aren't a bunch of dumb dummies. They've been doing this for years. Remember how we just celebrated their twentieth birthday? They're vets. Pros, even. They did a fine job and you know that because you've been drinking their stuff for years. I'm sure they would thank you if given the opportunity. You should thank them, too. It's the right thing to do.
- Website
- http://drinkarizona.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 12/6/2012
- Comments
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My Body Shots Electro Fruit Punch
I'll tell you what blows and that's waking up sick as a dog. I'm floating through the day and it's a feeling that I absolutely hate. Plus, I've got a dry cough that I can't shake no matter how much liquid I drink and cough drops I have. I've got to put it in the hands of the drink gods to provide me with something that will battle the vermin inside of me. I had this little guy lying around, read the nutritional facts and knew that this is what I needed.
I slightly knew what I was getting into with this drink. The others have been little powerhouses and I was lucky to discover that this one was a whole lot less powerful. I was grateful for that. This one still had a little "functional" taste to it but it did taste a bit like fruit punch. That "functional" taste I speak of is that thing where you know that a drink is up to something like when you taste it, it tastes funny and you read the ingredients and discover that it's a whole serving of vegetables in it. That type of feeling except this one is just chocked full of vitamin and minerals so that small fries can play baseball. I hope that my son is a better baseball player than I was. I don't think my dad could take another lame outfielder in the family.
- Website
- http://mybodyshots.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 8/20/2012
- Comments
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Powerade Zero Fruit Punch
I liked high school. That doesn't mean that I was great at it, but I liked it. I took a lot of great technology, shop, and music courses my senior year and it was like the school I always wanted. In hindsight, I wish I had gone with a trade school versus a traditional...or three colleges.
Back to high school: In high school we only had a Powerade machine. One. Singular. That was the one and only vending machine in the entire school. I would talk to other kids that would have all these pop machine and snack machines and stuff. I was jealous. For this reason, since I was 16 (1998) I have had a bad taste in my mouth. Yes, Powerade, it's because I'm a dumb idiot. Also, for no reason, I thought that Powerade was slightly carbonated regardless of how many times people told me that it wasn't. Without exaggeration, I have not had Powerade since I was a junior in high school; Today that all changed.
Jay and I came across it and I knew that it was time to change everything. Why should I hold a grudge against a company because they offered us something when no one else would? I should have loved Powerade these past few years. After today I have these regrets. This whole time I was missing a decent line of drinks that, yes, is like Gatorade, I'll say it, but it's good. I think that the fruit punch was good. Maybe the "zero" of it all calmed down the sweetness but I did a good job clobbering nearly thirty-two ounces of it. It was good. If you like fruit punch but don't like the strange bite that it sometimes has and like the drinkability of Gatorade and hate calories, this is the drink for you.
I'm sorry, Powerade. My alma mater thanks you and that's coming from a cynical jerk. It's been a long time coming. Sorry, guys.
- Website
- http://www.powerade.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 8/16/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Tradewinds Tropicals Fruit Punch
As my hand touched this can at the store, an associate who appeared out of nowhere told me that she loved it. Now I buy a lot of drinks and most times I can get in and out without someone's opinion. That's not to say that I don't want it. Why would I do this if I didn't want to hear what people think about drinks? Now I've got an opinion of a drink and, come on, fruit punch? It's all the same unless it's from an exception company. Tradewinds is on the top-end of average companies. Their sweet tea is pretty good but I haven't had any of their "Tropicals" line. Now I have and can tell you that this fruit punch blows.
As I said, most fruit punch is the same. This is not and not in a good way. Reading the ingredients, it's all natural stuff except for the sucralose which you can taste even though it's way down on the list of ingredients and isn't the primary sweetener. It tastes like you mixed a bad fruit punch in with some sort of cherry juice. If you want a diet, fruity, cherry drink, I've got some left over in this can that is split with someone else because I couldn't take any more of it. You can get it from me for a limited time since I will be tossing it, unfinished, into the bin. Like that? It's very British of me to call it a "bin." I'm classier than you can imagine. Too classy to drink this swill.
- Website
- http://www.drinktradewinds.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 7/19/2012
- Comments
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Xyience Xenergy Fruit Punch
ATTN: CANADIANS!
Are you looking for an energy drink that fits into your countries unique tastes? If so I’ve got what you’re looking for right here. You see I have learned that people from Canada are obsessed with Tahitian Treat pop, and that they buy it buy the case when they can get their grubby maple syrup covered hands on it. I don’t believe I know a single American who has ever expressed interest in Tahitian Treat, but I know Canadians who go gaga over it. If you’re not familiar it is a fruit punch flavored soda that has a very specific taste. This energy drink also has that taste with the energy drink flavor mixed in.
I started off thinking this was okay. Then about halfway through the can it got almost sour, and by the time I was ¾ through I felt like my tongue was going numb. I think I might have liked it more because of those things. I am strange. I have accepted it. Now smuggle some of this over the border in your trunk full of soda.
- Website
- http://www.xyience.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 6/30/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment