Green Apple (10 reviews)

Four Point Zero Perfect Seltzer Green Apple

Four Point Zero Perfect Seltzer Green Apple

I think this might be the last straw. If a quality company such as Four Point Zero can’t make a green apple beverage that I truly enjoy, I don’t think there is any hope for the flavor. The odd thing is that green apples are my go-to apple. Granny Smith all the way, all day. Green apple…well anything other than actual apples, never taste like that to me. A lot of the time they taste like candy, which this does only vaguely. There must be a different breed of apple that the green apple flavor is based off of. I bet I wouldn’t really like this in apple form either. This is all personal taste though. If you like the “sour” green apple flavor, but want it sugar free then this seltzer is calling your name. It’s really not bad, even for me, but I just want a Granny Smith seltzer.

Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 29th, 2016
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McDonalds McCafe Green Apple

McDonalds McCafe Green Apple

Happy Birthday, Morrissey. For your birthday I bought you a green apple smoothie from McDonald's. Yeah, it's the same McDonald's. Yeah, they still serve hamburgers. You know they do, man. Why would you ask that? Oh, you won't drink it? I doubt there is any hamburger in it. It was a joke. Come on. Here. I'll taste it first.

It's good. You would think it would be like a green apple Jolly Rancher but it actually tastes like real apples. You eat apples, don't you? Yeah. I thought so. Look, I'm not disrespecting your beliefs. I've seen you in concert twice and sang along to Meat Is Murder while you showed graphic videos of the mistreatment of animals. They're really enough to make people in PETA sick, honestly. It's got no extra sourness so you can enjoy the taste buds in your mouth the way that they were intended to be used.

What do you say? Do you want this drink that I managed to keep cold from Buffalo to jolly old England where I then had to hire a private investigator to find your rather nice and modest home? No? Cool. I'll just leave this here on your front porch. Happy birthday, Morrissey.

Website
http://www.mcdonalds.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Smoothie
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 22nd, 2015
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Rockstar Super Sours Energy Drink Green Apple

Rockstar Super Sours Energy Drink Green Apple

Paint then caulk. Paint then caulk. Paint then caulk. That's all Francis was doing. He had just moved into a new house and had to caulk and paint the whole house himself. He had some time off and just wanted to knock it out as soon as he could. Paint then caulk. Such a time consuming process. Paint, wash brushes, caulk. Over and over. He knew he could spice it up a bit so he took a break for lunch and saw a new energy drink that he hadn't had before. SuperSours sounds like something he would have drank as a kid. As an adult with a fresh mortgage, he now looked back fondly at his day of youth filled with just playing with friends until the sun set night after night. Now it was just office work day in and day out. Wearing heavily starched shirts with ties, khakis, and dress shoes every day just to sell office supplies. In hindsight, it was not the life that he ever thought that he would lead.

He took a drink and it took him back to those days. He took another sip and just closed his eyes and reminisced about playing in the pool with friends, playing hockey in the street, and football in people's front yards. It was a sour that was somewhere in between a Warhead and a Jolly Rancher. It was a familiar taste that he hadn't had in years. He took another sip and it seemed more and more childish and less like it was a good idea to buy it. What was he doing? It was an energy drink that didn't taste like an energy drink, which was good, but it was a sour, sour apple drink. That was kids stuff. Why would kids drink an energy drink? Kids are filled with energy. Francis was feeling more like an adult with every sip. He said to himself, "Hey, kids can't fix a sink like me. Kids can't crunch numbers to make deals like me. I was a dumb kid. Now look at me. I've got a great haircut, a semi-babe as a girlfriend, and a sweet new house. Who needs this kid stuff? I'm a friggin' adult!" People looked at him like he was crazy. He slowly got up and walked back to his house. He grabbed the tube of caulk and started again and though to himself, "Oh yeah. This sucks. I wish I was a kid again...again."

Website
http://www.rockstar69.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucrose
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 5th, 2014
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8 Pack - Rockstar Super Sours Green Apple - 16oz.

Cool Mountain Gourmet Soda Green Apple

Cool Mountain Gourmet Soda Green Apple

Whenever I see that green, it usually means two things. Thing number one is that it is green apple. Thing number two is that it is going to be way too sweet and downright suck-filled. Was this any different? Eh, 75%. It was green apple but it lacked the uber-sweetness that other green apple pop has. In doing so, you can actually taste the drink itself, which, in and of itself, was not too spectacular.

I think that this flavor as a whole should go by the wayside. I've never had a green apple pop that I could finish an entire bottle of and I've never had one that I've wanted to take more than a couple sips. Kids probably love the stuff but as we all know, kids are dumb and will like anything that has sugar in it because they are mindless idiots. Yeah, I said it. You have been thinking it and I'm the only one who stood up and said it. I'm not afraid of a cavity ridden, hyperactive, pre-pubescent, pre-teen. Bring it on. I've been grizzled by life and am way smarter, wittier, and worldly than you. Enjoy your impending teens, suckers. They're going to suck.

Website
http://www.coolmountain.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on July 9th, 2013
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Warheads Sour Squeezers Green Apple

Warheads Sour Squeezers Green Apple

Mom? Here's what I want to do for my eighth birthday. I want to go to the zoo. I love the lizard room. You know me, mommy. I love the chameleons. Then, after that let’s go to McDonalds. I would like a ten pack of McNuggets with both sweet and sour and barbeque sauces. It's my birthday. I love nuggets. Then I would like to go to the candy store and I want some Warheads. I enjoy putting two or three in my mouth and seeing if I can take it. This one time, at school, Michael K. said that he ate five of them and threw up. What? That's not gross. It's awesome.

What do you mean that the candy store is closed on Sunday? Who told you to have me on a Sunday?! My birthday doesn't happen on a Sunday every year? I guess I never thought of that. What am I going to do about my Warheads? You what?! You bought me a Warheads drink?! Mom! You are the coolest. I can't wait. Can I have one now? Thanks mom. You're the best. You're OK, too, dad.

This isn't bad. It's not like the candy, but it is a little sour. It tastes like a sweeter, more syrupy green apple Freeze-e-pop. I suppose since I'm seven I should like that sort of thing. I like playing in the dirt, baseball, hot dogs, and candy. That's my life.

Mom. I can't wait for my birthday. It's going to be so great except that I don't get the candy that I want. I do get other stuff and that I look forward to. Thank you in advance. You guys are alright.

Website
http://www.warheads.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 24th, 2012
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Warheads Sour Squeezers, Sour Apple, 6-Count (Pack of 8)

Jolly Rancher Green Apple

Jolly Rancher Green Apple

You may ask yourself, "Why would they make a pop in the worst flavor candy they make?" The answer to that is, "What? Do I run the company? I don't make the decisions." If I had to give you an answer, it would be that kids probably love puckering their youthful cheeks and chug this stuff down like it's the water they should be drinking because they are only eight and already are on the fast track to tooth decay.

Honestly, it tastes like a carbonated version of the candy you may or may not love but remember regardless. Your mind knows that this is terrible for you and I would like to see an adult who can look me in the face, drink this entire bottle, and tell me that they still feel good about themselves.

Drink half this bottle and call it a day because although it doesn't have all the sugar you would expect, this drink slays your taste buds and you need those for dinner. If you can't taste your spaghetti because you drank a whole bottle of Jolly Rancher pop, your mommy is going to be so sore at you.

Website
http://www.hersheys.com/jolly-rancher.aspx
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 3rd, 2012
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Jolly Rancher Green Apple Soda, 20-Ounce (Pack of 24)

Snapple 100% Juiced Green Apple

Snapple 100% Juiced Green Apple

I like green apples better than red apples. I think it's a matter of crispness and crunch. Red apples just don't have the same pizzazz to me as green apples. I just saw an apple on the can and assumed that it was apple juice. Just regular old apple juice. Nothing special. Apple juice. You know, apples go great with cinnamon and honey. I think it's a Jewish delicacy. I seem to remember wearing nice clothes eating bread and apples and cinnamon and honey. Wouldn't you love to be able to drink an apple and cinnamon juice sweetened with honey? Oh. I'm so excited. I hope this exists.

I was pleasantly surprised that this was green apple, which I didn't know until my first sip. Thing is, initial sips lead me to a delicious, green apple-dom. Aftertaste is a bit bitter and I am on the fence if I like it or not. For all I know, this could be the exact same sensation that happens when I eat a real green apple but without the chewing and the apple skin and the whole experience, I might miss the strange aftertaste that Snapple is telling me belongs there.

This is a nice way to kick off a week. It's different, it's juice, and it might actually be good for you. I look forward to finding more of these 100% Juiced drinks somewhere.

Website
http://www.snapple.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 23rd, 2012
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Roboin 36 Premium Relaxation Drink Green Apple

Roboin 36 Premium Relaxation Drink Green Apple

Could this possibly resemble cough syrup any more? From the colored plastic bottle to the name (sounds suspiciously like Robitussin) this just screams medicine. I can see a new trend of kids "robo-tripping" on this stuff. They down a couple of bottles and then just pass out. How is that fun? Really though, the packaging on this thing is just terrible. If I saw this in the store I would never even give it a second glance. With all its flaws in the looks department the flavor of this isn't too bad. They managed to get a green apple flavor that doesn't taste like a Jolly Rancher. It's still a little candy tasting, but over all it's like an apple soda that is well on its way to going flat.

I got home at 3:30 last night and I just wasn't tired. I downed both servings in this bottle and by 5:30 my mind was still racing and I wasn't relaxed at all. When Derek had another flavor he said it worked great for him. Maybe I'm just broken.

Website
http://www.roboin36.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Relaxation
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on November 27th, 2011
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Jelly Belly Gourmet Soda Green Apple

Jelly Belly Gourmet Soda Green Apple

Murder? You've got it. You want it to look like an accident? Got it. My suggestion would be poisoning him. It's a real hands off approach at murder. It's a good start. Hey, once you start, you can't stop. Murder is like the Pringles of crime. We have to first find out a way to not let him know we're going to kill him. Food is a good thing to poison. You just have to get at it before he does. Oh, you cook his dinner? Perfect. What does he like to drink for dinner? Jelly Belly green apple pop? Perfect. It looks like antifreeze so we can just use that. The body hates antifreeze and we can mix a lot in since the smell of the original pop is so strong. Do you have one that I can have to test on? Thanks. Well, this is pretty good. No wonder he likes to drink it. It's sweet, lightly carbonated. I don't know how this would accompany a beef stroganoff, but what do I know. I'm a hit man, not a food critic. Yeah, you know, this stuff is pretty delicious. It's candy-esque, but not too sweet that you can't polish off an entire bottle yourself. You've never had it? Here, take a big swig off this one. What's that? I can't understand you over the sound of the foam coming out of your mouth. Why yes, I did put antifreeze in that bottle when you weren't looking. Your husband hired me to kill you and he beat you to the punch. As you can see, this would have worked just fine. Sorry that I had to do this so intimately, but it was the only time you were available. If you don't mind, I'm going to take the rest of this 4-pack as a bonus to my hard work. Sorry you're dead. Nice Swatch. You can keep it because it's ladies sized and I'm clearly gent sized.

Website
http://www.jellybelly.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 25th, 2011
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Sidral Mundet Green Apple

Sidral Mundet Green Apple

I really need to invest in a bottle opener because I keep finding that imported soda companies aren't fond of twist off caps. Oh well, I managed to get this cap off with my handy staple remover again. It's not everyday you see green apple flavored soda, so i had to try this bottle of Sidral Mundet I found at the international grocery store. It's made in Mexico and is made with real sugar, which is nice. It tastes EXACTLY like a green apple Jolly Rancher. It's really strange how exact the taste is. But it's super delicious, and actually has some apple juice concentrate in it!

Website
http://www.novamex.com/sidral_mundet
Country
Mexico
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on September 6th, 2010
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Sidral Mundet Soft Drink, 10.5 oz.
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