Green Tea (13 reviews)
Taste Nirvana Creamy Green Tea
John, we've got a good line of drinks here. We've got coconut stuff and our Thai tea, which is fitting because we're from Thailand. I'm sorry to report that sales are down this quarter and we've got a good idea why. We received numerous complaints about how bold the Thai tea is with our proprietary chai blend and how creamy and nutty our coconut drinks are. I know, they sound like compliments but in reality, it's the general public asking for something more.
I have spent literally dozens of dollars on research and development, or as the fellas in R and D call it, "R and D" developing the perfect drink to meet people right in the middle and I am here to announce to you, John, Taste Nirvana's very own creamy green tea. It's green tea, which people have been drinking for ages mixed with a little bit of milk, a little bit of sugar, and a little bit of soy, you know, for fun. It's tamer than our Thai tea, and in my opinion, not as good, but the people get what the people want. It tastes exactly like how a "creamy green tea" would taste if you dreamed about it, as I did.
John, this is how my dreams taste. Can you taste my dreams? Do you like the way my dreams taste, John? Now I need you to go out and tell the world about my dreams and how they taste.
- Website
- http://www.tastenirvana.com/
- Country
- Thailand
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 8/17/2011
Master Kong Green Tea
Master. I obey you. I will attend to your every request. I will wait on you hand and food. Master, what do you mean that's not necessary? Of course it is. Your name is Master Kong, right. I'm not barking up the wrong tree. I saw the name with vinyl graphics on the door clearly state that your name was Master Kong. Since you're the only person in here and you're not cleaning up like some sort of maintenance man, I can only assume that you are Master Kong, my master.
I'm sorry, what? You're not my master? Did your parent's name you that? I've got to say, it's pretty rad. Can I get up off the floor? My knees are hurting from bowing to you for the last twenty minutes. Thanks, Master. Can I call you, Kong? Since you're not my master, I don't really feel right calling you Master any more. It's like someone called "Daddy" who I have to call by his name who isn't my daddy. It's strange.
I walked by something earlier and it said you were the Master of tea. That's a strong statement. You make tea? Can I try some? Thanks. Holy crap...you are indubitably the master of tea. This is delicious. It's sweet, a little bitter, and clearly sweetened with honey. It's so light that you can taste everything you put in here. You, sir, are a wonderful and worth of your name. I'll take a case of it, a big case. Oh, that's too big. I drive an Isetta.
- Website
- http://www.masterkong.com.cn
- Country
- China
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Iced Tea
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 7/8/2011
Simply Originals Flax Seed Green Tea
Flax Seed...everyone's talkin' 'bout it. It's supposed to do just about everything which makes it sound like either witchcraft or one of those medicinal remedies that some man on a stage sold you at a fair in 1940. In short, flax seed is supposed to:
- They contain high levels of fiber, lignans, and omega-3 fatty acids
- May lower cholesterol levels
- Help with certain types of breast and prostate cancers
- May stunt the growth of prostate tumors
- May also lessen the severity of diabetes by stabilizing blood-sugar levels
- laxative (poopin')
What it does to iced tea though is strange. It turns an otherwise delicious drink into a kind of unsatisfying, slightly viscous green tea. You can tell that the flavors that you know and love are there, and it's got some decent health factors, although you'd probably have to drink three bottles a day for a month to see any results.
It's not bad and if you need any of that stuff, this is a good, natural alternative to medicine, which I condone to the fullest extent. If you are just a Joe Averageman looking for an iced tea, you'll want something else.
- Website
- http://www.simply-originals.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Iced Tea
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 7/6/2011
Gold Peak Green Tea
Do you want some tea or something? You're not sure? That's a strange answer. What kinds are there? Really? Have you ever left your apartment? Green, white, black, oolong, Earl Gray, and tons more. You've never heard of green tea? You're joking. You're not joking. They've been drinking it for centuries and it's been a common drink here for years and years. I...dude...really. You've got me if you are joking. You're being ridiculous. Honor brite. Honor brite you've never had green tea. Really. Man. Well look, here's the deal with it. It's a nice earthy flavor with a bite. Depending on what green tea you get, it can have a pretty gnarly bitterness to it, but it's a good bitter. Since you're starting out, you might want to try this Gold Peak green tea. It's pretty good. It's sweetened and still has a really small bite. It's nice because you get everything you want in a sweetened green tea just toned down. It's naturally sweetened and flavored, too, so you aren't left with any strange aftertaste lingering in your mouth like that giant slice of Sbarro's that you decided to get for lunch. Not very worldly are you? There are a lot of different green teas but this one has a nice flavor to it that is like a green tea 101. If you don't like it, we can candy it up or go more natural. It's a nice launch pad into the depths of green tea. I can't believe you've never had the stuff. It's literally in shampoo, body wash, Starbucks, ice cream, Chap Stick, and like everything else. You really need to get out more.
- Website
- http://www.goldpeaktea.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Iced Tea
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 6/29/2011
UCC Green Tea
Imagine for a second. You have a five-month-old kid who won't sleep. He's up every three hours including that awesome "ten minutes after you fall asleep" move which makes you contemplate, if only for a second, that you'll just let them starve and sit in pee for another hour so that you can get some sleep. Due to this constant up and down your sleep schedule is crunched down to a scatterbrained four or five hours night after night. You are up at six in the morning and you get some stuff done around the house and decide you're going to go to one of your favorite restaurants to get something for breakfast.
Your kid is sleeping soundly and for a minute, you actually and stupidly think that you're going to get time to enjoy a meal out without...woop...there it is. You eat like you have been stuck at sea for months and haven't had a good meal since you left shore and don't even get a chance to finish one single glass of iced tea, which you wanted…a lot.
Since you're up so early, you decide to errands, all the while craving the tea that you had no chance to drink. Two hours later you're home and have no chance to sit and drink something because now you've got to do stuff around the house. You mow the lawn, plant a new hibiscus tree that you hope does well in your crappy soil, and try a new weed killer on the lawn which is fifty percent weeds.
Finally you're done. You're tired. You're accomplished. Your kid is asleep. You are all alone with silence in your house. You go into the fridge and there it is. Green tea, just green tea. No sugar. No preservatives. No fuss. You can't open it fast enough. You can taste the cool bite of the tea on your tongue. You wish it would never end. Had that can been bottomless, you would have somehow gotten to the end and asked for seconds. It's perfect. In this moment you are happy. And then your kid wakes back up and starts crying...
- Website
- http://www.ucc.co.jp/eng/
- Country
- Japan
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Iced Tea
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 6/26/2011
Beaver Buzz Dam Good Green Tea
Mike did not enjoy the Beaver Buzz citrus energy drink. As we all know, Mike it wrong sometimes. Actually Mike is normally infallible, it just turns out he doesn't like energy drinks. I in turn thought it was one of the best energy drinks I've had. I was excited to drink the tea version of it. Non-carbonated energy drinks always seem weird to me, but I'm starting to come around. It reminds me a lot of Arizona's green tea. It’s very sweet, with a green tea after taste when you exhale. It's decent, but it's not as good as the other two Beaver Buzz's I've had. That being said, I would still pick this over most "normal" energy drinks.
Also, it's Canadian and it's still hysterical that it's called Beaver Buzz. I appreciate their sense of humor.
- Website
- http://www.beaverbuzz.com
- Country
- Canada
- Sweetener
- Sucrose
- Categories
- Energy Drink, Iced Tea
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 6/4/2011
Ito En Oi Ocha Green Tea
You, over there with the bad hair! Bring that wheelbarrow of sugar to me. You, with the floral sundress, bring that 50-gallon drum of cherry syrup. You two kids with the hair that's too long for your own good. Yeah, you. What, are you parents some sort of hipsters? Get a haircut but before that, bring those two buckets of corn syrup to me. Don't get your stupid long hair in it, either. This is a sterile environment.
Excuse me, sir. I work for Ito En and I was wondering what you were doing with all these additives. Adding them to this drink? No sir, I don't think so. We won't need any of this. Here, let me take care of this crowd-based assembly line. Pardon me, the little madame with the mini skirt and argyle sweater, could you bring over those green tea leaves? Thank you. That's all. That's all we need to make such choice tea. Put it on ice and you've got a nice drink. It’s suitable for all occasions and all ages: All sexes, creeds, religions, colors, and so on and so forth.
So sir, as you can see, those fixins might be necessary elsewhere, but not here. Ito En Oi Ocha needs nothing but water and green tea. It's refreshing, quenching and a wonderful all around drink. I do have a question for you though, sir. Where are we that everyone looks this ridiculous? Aside from the people we've hired to help us make this drink, there is a man over there wearing a Cosby sweater, cargo shorts, and boots. Over there are twins both wearing shell toes, carpenter pants with accompanying hammers, and mesh football shirts. Where are we?
- Website
- http://www.itoen.com/
- Country
- Japan
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Iced Tea
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 2/22/2011
True Brew Green Tea
Well what do we have here? Everyone has had green tea and I think it's a safe bet to assume everyone has had Arizona green tea and honey. On to an annoying side story:
My dad's side of the family is orthodox Jewish and my mom was raised Protestant. My dad, although raised Jewish, was pretty apathetic about religion. One day, my mom and dad went to his sister's house for some reason and they brought pizza and pop. When my mom presented said pop to my aunt, she retorted with, "We don't drink that liquid sewage." In comparison, the beloved Arizona green tea is liquid sewage.
This had an incredible, natural green tea taste and the sugar was just right.
Arizona, you are a great company and you make millions of people happy. When you grow up, grow up right and buy a case of this sweetened green tea.
- Website
- http://www.truebrew.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Iced Tea
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 2/15/2011
Pacific Simply Tea Green Tea
For my final trick, I will make this unsweetened green tea good. Wait, does that make this drink sound like it's bad to start? Am I saying this out loud? This is the worst magic...er...illusion show I've ever done. I think that me saying that made it worse. My boss is going to fire me for this performance. Kids, here's a handful of quarters. Pull them out of each other’s ears.
What am I going to do? This tea is pretty good and not everyone is going to think it's bad. It's got a good taste through and through, but these kids won't appreciate it since there isn't sugar pouring out of the top of it.
Jimmy, don't put that quarter in your nose. We're doing ears only.
Where else could I work? I've got illusions running through my blood. I can do so many things that people only dream about with a single deck of cards except play poker. That's something I could never get a hold of. Cards aren't a game, though. Cards are serious business. This tea is serious business. No sweetness, all goodness. Maybe I'll get a job at the...JIMMY! DON'T PUT THAT QUARTER IN TOM'S NOSE EITHER! WE'RE ONLY DOING EARS! GOD!
I'm great with kids, but I don't want to be a teacher. Maybe I'll just get a job at a bank. I can do some cool stuff with money. I don't think that they would want to see their money disappear, though. I know customers like to get in and out of a bank and the usage of smoke and mirrors might be prohibited in a bank.
JIMMY! STOP IT WITH THE NOSE ALREADY!
- Website
- http://www.pacificfoods.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Iced Tea
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 2/7/2011
Joe Tea Green Tea
Awhile back, a long time before we started this site, I had the peach Joe's tea. I loved it, and have been keeping an eye out for it since then. I recently found this one at a Whole Foods on a recent tour. While it's not as great as the peach variety, the green tea is pretty good.
It's a pretty mild tea, and the "low sugar" is nice. It's always nice to have a tea that isn't overly sweet, yet not completely bitter. I appreciate the resealable bottle since it is a large quantity of tea.
- Website
- http://www.joetea.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Pure Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Iced Tea
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 11/14/2010