Health Job's tears drink (1 review)
Job was a sad man. Generally sad. Depressed sad. It's nothing that he could do or change. It was a chemical imbalance that, through no fault of his own, caused him to cry constantly. The only thing that would make him happy was to eat edamame by the barrel. He would go to sushi restaurants and order three servings of it himself before he had the money to buy a steamer of his own. He would always have some dessert, too. He loved his sweets.
One day, Job had just drank a glass of water and eaten his sixth serving of edamame. He didn't have any money to keep the soybeans a-flowin' so, naturally he began to cry. He cried harder than he had ever cried before. While he was crying, the waitress brought him over the check and a piece of candy to cleanse the palate a little bit. He sadly ate the candy, which, by the way, is the worst way to eat sweets. He cried so hard that a constant stream of tears rushed down his cheeks and into his cup of water. He got up and paid the bill and went home to continue on his sad day.
The waitress, who was a bit off in the head, saw what had happened and saw where the liquid in the glass came from. She looked at it, saw that it was a little thick, and a little milky, and she did the unthinkable and drank some of Job's tears. While she didn't hate it, she thought that it was good enough to market. She called Job in as she had been in there enough times that they were on a first name basis. She told him to make more because she was going to bottle it and sell it. He thought it was gross that she drank it but he was happy that he made something that someone enjoyed so he ate soybeans on the house and cried into multiple open containers. The waitress bottled them and sold them at the restaurant. They didn't sell many because they were labeled as "Job's tears" but the ones that were sold, we enjoyed. People said that the drink tasted like watery, slightly sweetened, soybean juice.
Job was happy that all of his sadness made some people happy and he could at least make money crying all day. The waitress made a new friend, Job, who ended up being her business partner for a long time. The people who frequented the restaurant were deranged because they literally and voluntarily drank someone's sorrow.
- Red Sugar
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 12/5/2011
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