Mocha (10 reviews)
Tim Horton's Latte Mocha
I am not terribly susceptible to advertising. I find myself to be smarter than that. I don't know why, but I feel I'm wired a little bit differently. That being said, I was completely sold when I saw the billboard for this drink. I wish I had an image for it, but allow me to explain it to you. It was forty feet tall, had chocolate whipped cream, and chocolate shavings. The only thing wrong was that it was a latte. Now you know that I am not coffee's number one fan. I never sent a self addressed stamped envelope to the Coffee Fan Club like I wanted to for the White Zombie fan club in 1996.
I went to one of the near trillion Tim Horton's around me and bought a small, you know, to test it out. I then drove about twenty minutes to the grocery store and didn't touch the thing. In the parking lot, I took a couple sips. It was alright but a bit too coffee for me. That being said, I'm no dumb stupid idiot. It was decent coffee with a decent chocolate/mocha taste, a medium to dark chocolate. I was ready to give it a pretty mediocre review. I came back after an hour of grocery shopping and took another sip. Better. I got home, brought in some groceries, checked the status on the Trials Evolution release date which will never be public, and then went downstairs and we were finally where we wanted to be. The drink had dropped down in temperature to "room level" status. That’s where it's at. I easily drank the rest of it with no problems.
Next time I get it, if I do get it, I will probably get it, put it in the fridge for an hour, and then drink it. I like iced coffee but this was too close to a regular coffee with chocolate in it at standard temperature. Canadians, I am sorry that I am ruining your perfectly good coffee, but I am an adult and can do whatever I want.
- Website
- http://www.timhortons.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Coffee
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 3/11/2012
Emmi Caffe Latte Mocha
Well good morning, gorgeous. How are you? Good? I made you something. I made you this mocha latte. Just my way of saying "I love you." Go ahead. Yeah, it is cold. It's an iced latte. You know, the fancier things in life. I don't want to drink something hot first thing in the morning. It throws my whole mouth out of whack. You know, like how I don't like to open my eyes right away or I am "officially" awake. You didn't know that I did that? Well, we've only been together a short time. I don't expect you to know everything about me just yet.
Do you like it? Yeah, I enjoy making fresh coffee in the privacy of my own house. It's just a hobby I have. What do you think of it? It's nice, right? Good chocolate flavor and just the right amount of coffee where you feel like you could drink it anywhere. Oh, you have to go to the bathroom? I'll hold it for you while you go.
What, honey? I couldn't hear you over the radio. What did you say? Oh, you found this Emmi Caffe Latte cup in the garbage? You got me. You caught me. I just poured that into my best "Gnomes on Ice" commemorative drinking glass. I don't make coffee from home. I don't even like coffee. While you were sleeping, I went to the store and bought it. I did buy it for you, so that should count right? Oh, you never want to see me because I'm a known liar like Jason Draper of Thirsty Dudes? Welp, can't win 'em all, I guess.
- Website
- http://www.emmi.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Coffee
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 2/29/2012
Archer Farms Coffee Energy Drink Mocha
Rain? Again? Drats. I've got so much gardening to do. What do you think, pup? What do we do? Sit inside and play video games? Pup, I'm not twelve anymore. I've got responsibilities and that rhubarb isn't going to make a pie out of itself. First thing's first, you've got to get a fresh bowl of water and some food. I've got to tell you, your food smells terrible. I suppose that your breath is the product of your food. Problem solved. I've got to wake up a little bit. Hey, do you know if your mom drank that...oh no. Here it is. Good. Archer Farms, pup, I don't know. I'm fifty-fifty on this stuff. It's half good and half real bad. I don't know what to expect but it says "coffee energy" so I'm going to take it at face value.
Hmm. That's not bad. It is way more mocha than coffee. Not much coffee at all. It's smooth, though, and that's nice. I hope this give me the pep to just bear the elements and take care of the garden. I'm telling you, pup. You take one day off and your garden looks like a pile of garbage. This drink is all right. It's not bad. It might be too sweet since it's closer to chocolate milk than coffee. I don't typically drink chocolate milk at eight in the morning so this is the start to a very strange day.
You know what, pup. You and I are going to see if this rain is going to subside. I don't want to have to towel you off because, let's face it, you're going to get muddy because you're short and you always get muddy. You also hate your little beans to be cleaned for some reason so let's sit in here for a bit, not brush our teeth, and catch up where we left off in Sonic 3. I'm stuck at that part where you've got super sonic and then you have to ride that dumb cart across the water, Knuckles punches you, and by the time you get to Dr. Robotnik, you have no rings. I hate it. Every time, pup, every time.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Coffee
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 1/12/2012
Starbucks Doubleshot Mocha
One of my two bosses drinks at least one of these a day. It didn't occur to me that we hadn't reviewed one yet so I borrowed some which if he asks for it back; it will be in a disgustingly different form.
Starbucks has some good "on the shelf" stuff. This is good. You know why it's good? Because it doesn't taste anything like an energy drink. Strange how that works, eh? I love this drink because of it's false advertising. I would expect this to taste like coffee spilled into some brat kids plastic pumpkin head of nothing but plain chocolate and Pixie Stix. Scene:
"Trick or Treat!" says the little girl. "It's November, kid. Get out of here," your grandpa says. "I know, but I want candy and my mom said that I can't have any and I know that when I go to other people's houses and ask with a ghost costume on, they give me candy. See? Look. I've got some chocolate and someone had Pixie Stix left over. They said they were to old for Pixie Stix and gave me a handful of them." "Oh yeah?" said grandpappy. "Well here's what I think of your out of the box thinking." he said as he pours an entire carafe of old coffee into the boys plastic jack-o-lantern, but before the boys leaves, the old man dips his cup into the pail now filled with floating candy bars, Pixie Stix wrappers, old coffee, and the little boys tears, and takes it to his lips. He enjoys it, because he's a terrible old man.
End scene.
Thing is, it doesn't taste like that. It's a smooth coffee drink. If I didn't know better, I would just say that it's a mocha Frappuccino. You even get a periodic taste of real coffee, which is a nice touch, I must say. Who knows how much actual caffeine is in there, between the coffee and whatever other energy supplements they have in there.
I hope that story that was completely fabricated never comes true. I would hate to see a sad ghost kid walking down the street with damp, coffee stained candy.
- Website
- http://www.starbucks.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Coffee, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 11/18/2011
Seattle's Best Coffee Iced Mocha
If all coffee drinks tastes like this, I would be thrilled. I had a busy day. I did my girlfriend's brakes, took the dogs for a long walk in the park, went grocery shopping, and when I got home, I knew what I had to do.
Now, when you get home from a day like that, everything's got to be right. In order to set the mood, I put on Pet Shop Boys Yes, which finally arrived from the UK. It's good. Not over the top at all. I am a huge Pet Shop Boys fan so I was excited when I liked everything I heard from a newer album. I mean, come on, they can't all be Please, am I right? That album is in my top five pop albums of all time list.
So with Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe doing what they do best, serenading me, I decided it was time to get my coffee drink on. I have liked iced mocha drinks in the past, and this was no different. It has a lot more chocolate than previous mocha drinks had, and that's a good thing. I liked it a lot, to the point where I would buy this again. You should buy this more than once because you don't have a cache of three shelves of drinks to go through, so for me to say I would buy it again has weight.
Neil and Chris, don't ever break up. I don't see any album nowadays pushing you out of that top five spot. I also don't see anyone pushing Tracey Thorn and Ben Watt's Temperamental out of there, either. Serious gems people.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Coffee
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 11/12/2011
Havana Cappuccino Mocha
I don't know where I got this. I know why I got it, though. Answer; because it was there. This is not a fantastic representation of mocha cappuccino. I promise to you that if you're looking for a "quality" drink, you won't find it constrained within the glass walls of this bottle. It's terrible fake tasting like they had some chocolate milk, cut it in half, poured bad instant, powder mocha cappuccino into to it, skipped all the "red tape" one would need to put out something legit and pushed it right to market. I probably got this on sale. The same people also make these chocolate milks that just tasted unpure.
Look. I enjoy a nice, sweet garbage drink. Give me a Nesquik in those gargantuan thirty-two ounce bottles and I will use all the strength inside of me to not Gregory House the whole thing. This is half that size and I'm going to probably have no choice but to dump half of that. Strong percentages. Weak drink. I don't know why a company called "North American Beverage" would market a drink called Havana. I do appreciate, slightly, that illustration of the most 80's bottle I've ever seen. It looks like it should be on the wall of a victim’s house in Miami Vice. I felt like I should have been wearing a Panama hat and a Panama Jack shirt that I would have had to scour multiple Salvation Army's to find just to fully appreciate this drink. Since I'm wearing a fifteen-year-old hoodie that is ill fitting, this drink did not deliver.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Coffee
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 9/23/2011
Marley's One Drop Mocha
There is a very fine line between crust punks and hippies. Seriously there are so many similarities; dirty, smelly, anti-job, and they both like getting messed up. One of the differences is that hippies prefer weed and hallucinogenics, while crust punks prefer alcohol...oh who am I kidding? They will take anything that will get them messed up. Another difference is that most hippies like to relax and "chill to the groove," while every traveling crust punk I've ever known has been obsessed with coffee. Seriously coffee non-stop. I am hereby requesting that for their coffee line Marley's changes their name to either Discharge or Crass.
I was halfway through this bottle before I questioned whether or not it was a relaxation drink. I know the idea of a relaxation coffee is ridiculous, but I was working and I had a shirt order I needed to get done, so falling asleep just wasn't in the cards. It, of course, is not a relaxation drink. It's a regular coffee drink. Maybe regular is wrong, because I am not a fan of coffee per say, but I think this is incredible. That could be because it tastes more like chocolate than coffee, but that's exactly how a good mocha should be. This tastes exactly like what my friend Nina makes me at her place of employment (minus the peanut butter). I seriously love it, but I would love it more if it was called Crass' Systematic Death Mocha.
- Website
- http://www.marleybeverages.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Pure Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Coffee
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 9/9/2011
Pacific Simply Coffee Mocha
For someone who hates coffee so much, I sure have been drinking a decent amount of mocha lately. I keep telling myself that it's not coffee and that it's just hot chocolate (or cold hot chocolate) with just a splash of coffee in it. When in reality it's the other way around. Whatever deal with it. It's tastes good. Regular coffee is still gross.
I'm amused that the word "organic" is used five times in the ingredients list for this. This is what you would expect from mocha. It's coffee, chocolate and milk all mixed together. It's a bit creamier than other ones I've had, but I'm perfectly fine with that.
The packaging is nice as well. I've never had a personal sized beverage in a package like this (just some large juices for multiple servings). You're more than likely supposed to pour it into a glass, but I like drinking things out of the container. Who needs extra dishes to wash? Not me. What do I look like I'm rich and have a maid, or one of those newfangled dish washer machines?
- Website
- http://www.pacificfoods.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Evaporated Cane Juice
- Categories
- Coffee
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 12/11/2010
Nescafe Mocha
I've expressed my disinterest in coffee beverages, specifically canned coffee beverages, in the past. So why did I buy this? Was it because it's mentioned in an R.E.M. song? You bet your butt that's why. I'm glad I did, because this is way tasty. It's super sweet. It tastes like a nice hot chocolate with a coffee after taste. You know but ignoring the part where the chocolate is hot.
I'd drink one of these on those days when I want a nice chocolaty drink but I need something more sub-sub-sub-substantial.
Now I will stop being a nerd.
- Website
- http://www.nescafe.com/
- Country
- Switzerland
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Coffee
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 11/27/2010
Bigelow Chai Latte Mocha
I don't really do chai. I don't do coffee. This should not have been something that I bought. That's what I thought before I tried it. Hey, sometimes when you see things that look interesting, you have to just suck it up and try something new.
Since I don't drink chai, I'm not too familiar with how it is supposed to taste or smell. I can tell you that because of this, I think that it smells a bit like bubble gum. Strange? I know. It's not a turn off. It's just not what one would think when reading the flavors. It might be mocha and light, light coffee together with the milk. Whatever. To me, if there were such thing as mocha bubble gum, this would be the smell.
Now on to the taste portion of this competition. It tastes good. It's creamy and doesn't have too much coffee. It's more of an undertone than a prominent flavor. The mocha covers that up nicely. I don't get a lot of tea, if I get any at all.
This company also makes the same drink in a vanilla, as opposed to the mocha that I'm doing now. I bet it's nice, but for my money if I have to get a spiced tea, I'd stick with Thai tea.
- Website
- http://www.bigelowtea.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 11/3/2010
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.