Mocha (31 reviews)

Victor Allen Iced Latte Mocha

Victor Allen Iced Latte Mocha

I predict there will be a divide over this product, albeit with a narrow margin. People who love coffee will say, “It’s pretty meh. It doesn’t really like coffee.” People who are indifferent about coffee will say, “It’s decent enough. It doesn’t really taste like coffee.” At least everyone will agree on something.

This is more of an adult chocolate milk than it is an actually espresso drink. If I were handed a glass of this with no description I would assume it was some sort of weak malt drink. There probably sound like complaints, but I did enjoy the taste of this. In fact it is because it doesn’t have a strong coffee flavor that makes it a better drink. It is chocolate and sweet with a little something around the edges that makes it a little interesting.

Website
http://trilliantfood.com/victor-allen/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on November 4th, 2016
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Tim Horton's Iced Coffee Mocha

Tim Horton's Iced Coffee Mocha

Experience 1: I go to Tim Horton's and order a mocha iced coffee. Lady says, "Do you want cream or sugar?" I respond, "No, thank you." She says, "Do you want it black?" I respond, "I just want it how it comes." She says, "Alright." and gives me one cream and one sugar. I did not like it.

Experience 2: I go to Tim Horton's and order a mocha iced coffee. Lady says, "Do you want cream or sugar?" I respond, "No, thank you." Different lady hands me the coffee and says, "I put more chocolate in it so it's not so bitter." I did not like it.

Tim Horton's. I want what I want and order it as such. If I wanted cream, I would ask for cream. If I wanted sugar, I would ask for sugar. If I wanted an extra shot of mocha, I would ask for an extra shot of mocha. Start listening to me and stop treating your job like a jazz solo and improvising what you think people might want.

Website
http://www.timhortons.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on April 5th, 2016
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Gevalia Iced Coffee with Almond Milk Mocha

Gevalia Iced Coffee with Almond Milk Mocha

When Editor Dan and Jay and I get together, we eat food. We love the stuff. It's like we need it to live. When we've got a couple more minutes than normal, we do what other extremely attractive and confident men do which is go to Big Lots.

Why wouldn't I like a nice, tall mocha drink? You're right. I wouldn't not like it. Except, of course, when it tastes like this.

I don't think it's the almond milk because I've had that but something in this drink gets stuck to my tongue and tastes bad and tastes bad for an extended amount of time. My live-in girlfriend likes it so I'll try to think of the good parts. It does have a good mocha taste. It's nice and smooth. Badness? It's just got some sort of...presence that sits on your tongue like you on the couch after the boss was riding you all day. You aren't moving. You don't care what's on TV. You will watch The Bachelor if it comes on. You like watching those girls fight about their completely fabricated lives anyhow. This drink resides for so long that it should have to pay rent or mortgage depending on your current living situation.

I wish this was better. Almonds? Love 'em. Mocha? Love it. This? Naw, bro. Swing and a miss.

Website
http://www.gevalia.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 29th, 2016
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Gevalia Kaffe Iced Coffee with Almond Milk, Mocha, 11.1 Fluid Ounce (Pack of 8)

Rockstar Roasted Mocha

Rockstar Roasted Mocha

Section one: The False Apology
Sorry (not sorry) this is the third coffee drink in a row.

Section two: The Review
Editor Dan and I went to Toronto to see Zombi, a prog/synth band from Pittsburgh that we hadn't seen in over a decade. The show didn't start until 9:30 and it was a two-ish hour drive home. It was a late night and only got later. What do you do? Coffee, right? That's the right thing to do. I thought that coffee plus additional energy would do the trick, which I did since I'm alive to write this review and now sitting in a ditch upside down off the QEW.

Was it an enjoyable experiment? It was "fine." It was strangely smooth. It seems that all of the sweetened coffee drinks from the United States lost all the edge or the bitterness of coffee, lately. Maybe it's canned, sweetened coffee. It all is starting to taste like thinner, melted, coffee iced cream. I don't want that. I don't think that I expected a high quality roast since Rockstar is not a coffee company first, but this seems like they cut a lot of corners and just bought "coffee flavor." This did not taste like an energy drink which I appreciate.

It did its job and that's what's important. I suppose that it was just "OK" was secondary. Strange, but secondary.

Website
http://www.rockstar69.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucrose
Categories
Coffee, Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on November 9th, 2015
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16 Pack - Rockstar Roasted Coffee + Energy Mocha -15oz.

Tim Horton's Iced Coffee Mocha

Tim Horton's Iced Coffee Mocha

Overly indulgent. Two words. Done? Please. You know me better than that. What made it overly indulgent? Well it could have been the generous amount of whipped cream. It could have been the generous amount of chocolate syrup. I just wanted an iced mocha coffee. I could have said, "no" when she asked. It's the drink, though. It's the complete package. I have to review them as-is. I did deny cream and sugar because I'm not a masochist.

For coffee lovers, this is closer to coffee than, say, an iced coffee from Dunkin' Donuts. That's closer to chocolate milk than this. This is easily sixty or seventy percent coffee. Dunkin' is closer to thirty percent.

I still managed to drink two-thirds of this. I've got a mild case of "da shakes" but I'm fine. I had a big salad. You can just call me Elaine Benes.

Website
http://www.timhortons.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on July 15th, 2015
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McDonalds McCafe Mocha

McDonalds McCafe Mocha

Eek. This is good. Dastardly good. Sure, it defied the simple rule of "fast food" since I waited patiently in my car for five minutes at the window while this was delivered to me, unapologetically. Who cares? That machine man. You've really got to reel it in with that thing. It is the single most multi-tasking piece of equipment in the place and it's down constantly. The entirety of the McCafe is solely reliant on that one machine and it's down all the time. That's neither Nora there.

This drink, though. Jesus. It's fantastic. It's served with an unnecessary amount of whipped cream and chocolate sauce. In hindsight, I wish I would have gone without it because it's already chocolate since it's mocha. I don't need ice cream toppings on a coffee drink. Thank you. Unneeded. It's good, though. It's clearly a coffee with a decent enough amount of chocolate that both are clearly represented. I'm not coffee connoisseur, but it's a good coffee taste. I don't care. I'm sure it's garbage. I don't care. I should. I don't. You win, McDonald's.

Website
http://www.mcdonalds.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on April 15th, 2015
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International Delight Iced Coffee Mocha

International Delight Iced Coffee Mocha

Mocha is as close to coffee as I can get. You can call me what you want but I'll say it myself; I'm a weakling. I'm a shell of a man. I can't handle it. Your eighty year old grandma is more of a man than me. Cool. Now that that's out of the way, this is good. It's not only good but it's diet and good. Strange, right? It is, as advertised, sweet and creamy and pretty rich as well.

I think that it's getting pretty easy to eat and drink well. This is probably half the calories that a non-diet version would be and only tastes mildly more diet. We're getting there. Disguising diet stuff. That's the future. Not space. Not time travel. Things that are diet but don't taste diet. Screw you moon mining.

Website
http://www.internationaldelight.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee, Diet
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 18th, 2015
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Jay Street Coffee Mocha

Jay Street Coffee Mocha

When I heard that Ito En was releasing a line of coffee drinks that they had named after me, I was ecstatic. I was also slightly confused as I am not the world’s biggest coffee fan, but pumped all the same. Then I remembered that I had no correspondence with the company, and there are thousands of other Jay’s in the world, so the chances of it being named after me were pretty slim. I can dare to dream though.

When I twisted off the cap to take a sip of the potential chocolaty goodness inside, I quickly changed my mind and hoped that this was in fact not named after me. This is not very good. I mean it’s drinkable, but it doesn’t have the strong flavor that one would hope for with such a beverage. I would actually say that it is more milk than anything. Mocha Milk would be an appropriate name for this. Even worse is that it’s nonfat dry milk, so it is slightly chalky. The coffee flavor is not very present with the chocolate taking second place behind the powdered dairy. It’s also pretty sweet with 38g of sugar in the bottle.

I had expected more from the fine folks at Ito En, and for the record I never really thought it was named after me, but if someone does want to do that, please let me try it first so I can give it my official stamp of approval. We wouldn’t want any embarrassing situations such as this.

Website
http://www.jaystreetcoffee.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on June 24th, 2014
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Jay Street Coffee Fresh Brewed 100% Arabica Beans, Mocha, 16.9 Ounce (Pack of 12)

Vita Coco Cafe Mocha

Vita Coco Cafe Mocha

This feels like some sort of riddle; what do you get when you mix mediocre coconut water with espresso? A mixture I could take or leave that also has milk in it for some reason. Really though, why is the milk here? Isn’t the coconut water supposed to act as the milk like substance? It’s as if they combined espresso, chocolate and milk to create a normal mocha drink, and then watered it down with coconut water. It’s like the coconut water was more of an afterthought rather than an integral part of the creating process.

For those of you out there, like me, who are not huge coffee fans, this has a bearable coffee flavoring. Unfortunately the chocolate isn’t as strong as I would like it to be. Coco Café came out with a similar product a while ago and they achieved what this was reaching for and missed.

Website
http://www.vitacoco.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coconut, Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on June 3rd, 2014
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Vita Coco Café Coconut Water, Mocha Latte, 11.1 Ounce (Pack of 12)

Royal Mills Island Mocha

Royal Mills Island Mocha

Mocha: the adult version of chocolate milk. This is a pretty inarguable fact if you ask me, which you won't. What? I'm just being honest. Also, what's to ask? Mocha is coffee, sure, but it's also chocolate, which super negates the adulthood of coffee. Sure, adults eat chocolate and there is nothing childish about it but something about mixing the two together makes it some sort of "kid in a grown up's body." This is the equivalent of the late, great Mitch Hedberg's joke, "Fettuccine Alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults."

This is good, though. It's good at sharing between the coffee and chocolate and the sweetness is a good, short-lived thing. You don't really get a lot of these canned coffee drinks that are too bad but this is one of the better mocha ones I've had. Still is a bit different than the ones you would get at a coffee shop but it's probably the milk that is used there is "real" versus the milk that is in here which somehow defies science and all refrigeration standards. This goes back and forth between coffee to chocolate to coffee again and that's a nice trip.

For the youth (silent "H") in you, have a mocha. If you want to stop being so stuffy with your ties and tie clips and cufflinks and slacks, have a mocha. Mocha, for those who aren't ready to grow up. Mocha, to prove that you're still "Cool." Mocha, a drink for those who still really like video games but have trouble waking up in the morning. Mocha, for those you who think that as an adult you have to go to coffee shops but don't like coffee. Mocha, for everyone.

Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on April 24th, 2014
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Royal Mill Mocha Coffee Drinks 24 Cans X 11z
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