Original (71 reviews)

CannaHemp Premium Energy Drink Original

CannaHemp Premium Energy Drink Original

Well, we have this new energy drink that we need to name that is made out of cannabis. Oh wait let’s use the word hemp instead. I feel like that won’t be so obvious for all of the suburban moms that like to complain about everything. Holy…stop the presses, I have it! What are we serving these in? That’s right, cans. It’s a can of hemp, but to go back to our original word cannabis, we can have some wacky word play and go with Cannahemp. Sure, we may have to deal with more uptight people, but that is a pun that is too good to pass up. Now it’s me, the reviewer breaking the 4th wall. Yes I made fun of the name, but honestly it’s great. It is clever in a goofy way that I love and I support it. Also, anyone who wants to complain about hemp use in a thing like this is a moron. Of course something sold in a mass market that you don’t need a prescription, or a “weed card” for is not going to contain THC and you are not going to get high from it. So you can calm down and if any of you youngsters out there have friends who drink this and they say it gets you high, let it play out so that they do some dumb stuff that they think is what being high is and then after a bit call them out and embarrass their lying asses.

This is not the first hemp/cannabis beverage that I have partaken in. Most of them tastes kind of like rope, except for the one I had from Canna Energy, which I believe is the old branding of this company, if the logo is any indication. Reading back on that review I found it to be pretty gross. If it is the same company they have either reformulated, or something was wrong with that original can I had. This does not taste spoiled, but it also does not taste like rope. It tastes like a very sweet green candy that is perhaps a mix between a green apple Jolly Rancher and some other green Wonka-esque confection. It is not my favorite, but I am also not grossed out by it. It gave me the energy I was searching for and I was easily able to get it down without complaining. That’s a win in my books. There is still some room for improvement, but it’s better than my last dalliance with the beverage.

Website
http://https://cannagetsome.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on August 21st, 2018
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100 Plus Original

100 Plus Original

Do you know what American athletes are missing that those in Asia have access to? Carbonated sports drinks, that is what. Can you imagine being in the middle of a match of some sort, you are exhausted and dripping with sweat, and your trainer hands you a can o “carbonated isotonic drink?” What on Earth is refreshing about that? I was once given sparkling water while playing a show and I nearly spit it everywhere because bubbles are not what you need to quench your thirst. Water is all I want in such times, and I’m not even exerting that much energy. Even the minimum sugar in other sports drinks is a bit off putting to me in such times. Somehow this beverage has persevered for decades. Apparently they have done so without updating their look either, as this can looks more 70’s Olympics than anything else I’ve ever seen.

If you can find it in yourself to look past this products intended purpose the taste isn’t all that bad. It’s strange, but not horrible. It’s like someone mixed Squirt with lemon lime Gatorade. I don’t know why anyone would do such a thing, but apparently someone in Malaysia did and liked the results enough to mass produce it. I really feel that if the grapefruit aspect of this was left out the taste would greatly suffer. Just carbonated Gatorade would be unwanted on all fronts. This way it at least has something interesting about it.

Website
http://100plus.com.my/
Country
Malaysia
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 29th, 2018
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Sapp Birch Water Original

Sapp Birch Water Original

Birch beer is fantastic. Let's get this. Well this doesn't taste like birch beer. It doesn't smell like it. It doesn't taste like it. This is probably (zero research, friends) the birch equivalent of maple water but doesn't tastes like you strained it through some tasty flapjacks.

Brass tacks. This is water, bruh. It's water with a hint of something you will never know what it is. I promise. It tastes like nothing. It smells like nothing. I could have been had with this drink as far as I know. Is it bad? Well that depends. Are you one of those idiots that thinks water is gross? If so, come on, dude. Grow up. Juice is terrible for you. Learn a book you dummy. Juice is just a cheating way to get kids to drink more water. You're 32. Drink water and eat your vegetables.

Website
http://www.sapplife.co/
Country
Ukraine
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 19th, 2017
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Emerge Energy Drink Original

Emerge Energy Drink Original

Iceland: Day four. Four days of pretty much nonstop hiking, climbing, exploring and eating very little. Being veg here is not ideal. I've found my workarounds, but I have mainly existed on avocados and protein bars. Today was going to be a hike heavy day and I could feel that I was going to fade at some point. I grabbed this at the grocery store this morning for back up and sure enough come 3 I'm starting to nod out on our way to the next destination. A destination where I had to travel through a cave to get to a river, which I needed to cross via downed logs, which took me to a mountain I had to climb to get to a hidden waterfall. You know, every day stuff. Before we embarked I drank this down and it's pretty much another Red Bull facsimile. I'm sure if I drank them back to back I would notice a difference, but out here all I can taste is the chemically wonderful taste that I associate with the world’s most famous energy drink. It should be something I hate, but I have a soft spot for it. I also haven't had caffeine in weeks, so I kind of lost my mind for a bit. Pray for Mojo. Oh and I totally didn’t fall into a river or down a mountain, so it kept me as alert as it needed to.

Website
http://www.emergestimulation.com/#!/home
Country
United Kingdom
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 19th, 2017
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Up Mountain Swizzle Original

Up Mountain Swizzle Original

I can't decide if I think that this drink is good for me or trying to punish me. I have drunk Ginger drinks and I have drunk vinegar drinks and this is a marriage between the two. It is not gross but I feel like you have to be an adult to understand what is going on within the confines of this glass bottle. If you take a big enough sip it is very strong, not very sweet and potentially life-saving. I say that because anytime I am drinking a vinegar drink I feel like I am trying to purge whatever disgusting nonsense is in my body. That nonsense of course being my fault to begin with and I ignorantly think that these vinegar drinks are a reset button on the mistakes that I have made in my dining past.

If I have to think of this as a health drink I might think that it is on the better side. It is a little bit sweet and is not as punishing as a straight vinegar drink. If I have to think of this as a casual Tuesday night drink then it probably isn't going to be something I am going to be seeking out. As I previously said it is only slightly punishing and if you are a fan of ginger beer you might be able to make the leap to something like a vinegar drink. It also helps that there is actual ginger root in this drink. As far as it being sparkling, it is only slightly carbonated. It is well shy of a soda pop.

I feel like on a better day I could finish the whole bottle, but on a day where I have kids screaming at me and 15 minutes to dress up for a show and load a car full of gear I don't think that I could be bothered to finish this entire bottle. I really don't want that to diminish the quality of the drink but the amount of effort I find that it is taking me to drink it is not worth it right now. If you have time to sit and sip this it would probably be very good. I am taking big gulps like an absolute idiot in hopes that I can gain as much of its healing qualities as one can when he makes as many poor decisions as I do.

Website
http://drinkswitchel.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Maple Syrup
Categories
Other/Weird, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on August 19th, 2017
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Alley Cat Tea Original

Alley Cat Tea Original

Did you know that Alley Cat Tea is a Southern original? No? Well, don’t feel too bad because I don’t think that most southerners know it either. It is a probably that surely needs to be sorted out though because they should all know and love this wonderful beverage.

Whenever anyone thinks about the South and tea they more than likely think of sweet tea. Now take that delicious treat and improve on it by mixing in a bunch of fruit juice. The label has pictures of pineapples, oranges, lemons and strawberries, although the latter is not listed in the ingredients. It tastes like it’s 50% pineapple, 25% tea, 10% orange, 10% lemon and 5% strawberry. It’s one of those wonderful concoctions where you can pinpoint each of the flavors or enjoy it as a whole. The whole thing is dark and so very cloudy that it looks like it could be cider. I wish I had picked up more than one bottle on my dumb drive from FL to MI.

Website
http://alleycattea.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Pure Cane Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on November 4th, 2016
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Pepsi 1893 Original

Pepsi 1893 Original

This is the model that all other cola should be based. It tastes like a Mexi-cola. I still think that cane sugar Coke is better but this is better than Pepsi and maybe better than corn syrup Coke. Hard to tell. This would be an interesting blind taste test. Pepsi, Pepsi 1893, Coke and Mexican Coke all together. I don't know if I could "pass" the test. I think it might humiliate me.

So how is it? Great. I really liked it. It didn't linger and had that lemon (?) taste that at least I think Pepsi has. It's in a tall, thin can so you think that it's better for you than a regular sized can but it's not. It's the same. You're the same person if you drink this or a regular can. It's good. If I had more, I would drink more. It worries me that it's not going to stay here for long.

Website
http://www.pepsi.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 29th, 2016
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Dark Dog Organic Energy Drink Original

Dark Dog Organic Energy Drink Original

Back to the classic taste of energy drinks where one dumb nerd just throws a package of packs of (American) Smarties into, I don't know, like a generic fruit punch. It's not terrible and it's better than "the old days" of energy drinks. Is it because it's organic? Probably not. It's probably better ingredients so, yeah, in hindsight; it probably is because it's organic. It's not terrible but it's kind of pretty standard tasting. As far as energy drinks go, this does taste "original" in the sense that it tastes like all of the other "original" energy drinks out there.

I can also say that this is better than both of the other versions of Dark Dog's stuff. Jay liked them. Good thing he reviewed them. This is good, though. I enjoyed it and I didn't get "the shakes" which I appreciate because I am trying to work and can't with "the shakes." Keep it original, Dark Dog.

Website
http://www.darkdog-organic.com/
Country
Italy
Sweetener
Organic Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 9th, 2015
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DARK DOG ORGANIC Original Energy Drink, 12 Fl Oz (Pack of 12)

Salad Power Original

Salad Power Original

It's no surprise that I need to eat more vegetables. It's true. I need it. If I could drink this all the time, I would be sure to lose weight and probably be in better shape than I am now. I love to eat, man. What do you want from me? I live in a city that has great food. Enough about me, though. Let's talk about you.

You're a real chunker, man. You need help. I shouldn't be drinking this. You should. Here. What do you think? It's good, right? A little strange, right? It almost tastes like there are onions in there but I think it's a mix between the kale and the tomato. That gives it a little strange taste. Once you get past that, it's decent. Yes. Decent. I feel the heath surging through my veins and it's doing my body good.

I think that after drinking this for lunch, I can slam a killer dinner involving steaks and potatoes and some sort of chocolate molten lava cake. Yes. It has been decided.

Website
http://www.drinksaladpower.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 11th, 2015
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Pickle Juice Sport Original

Pickle Juice Sport Original

There is a phrase in my industry that is awful called "it is what it is." It's basically a way of saying, "It sucks but we're fine with it." This, though. This truly and sadly "is what it is."

This is pickle juice. This is only pickle juice. This is exclusively pickle juice. I don't know what I expected. I thought that it might be...different. It's not. It's just pickle juice. What did I give it such an average rating? Well because I love pickles. I don't know if this brine would make a high quality pickle. I've been living with an increasingly pregnant girlfriend who has been stereotypically craving pickles which I'm more than cool with. I mean, they're a wonderful food that you can do wonders with. This seems like it would make pretty average pickles. Hence, an average rating.

There have been scientific studies that have shown that pickle juice helps with muscle cramping, so this at least serves a purpose. I expect to see all of those pro athletes out there downing pickle juice instead of Gatorade. Just imagine how the coach would smell after the team dumped a cooler of pickle juice on him when they won the big game. I hope someone brings plain chips to go along with it.

Website
http://www.goldenpicklejuice.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on August 4th, 2015
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Pickle Juice Sport 16 oz - 12 Count Case
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