Peach + Tea + Electrolytes (2 reviews)

Big Jak Iced Peach + Tea + Electrolytes

Big Jak Iced Peach + Tea + Electrolytes

Big Jak was a gambling man. He loved to play the ponies, roll the dice, and more importantly bet on the outcome of cards. Black Jack was his game. He loved it so much that he thought about starting to call himself “Big Black Jak,” but that just didn’t sound right to him, cause…well you know.

In his off time Big Jak spent his time developing beverages. He would spend hours and hours slaving away to get the balance of everything just right. The problem was that just like with the cards he always bet big. You see Big Jak may have loved black jack, but that does not mean he was any good at the game. He always bet everything he had, and had the dealer hit him, no matter what. He was so enamored with getting exactly 21 that he lost nearly every hand. This spilled over into his beverage making. The quantities of his flavorings were so high that it made them nearly undrinkable. Take this energy drink he worked on. It would have been nice to have a tasty non-carbonated energy drink that tasted like iced tea, but of course he had to go overboard. Even though he used sucralose, he used too much and it tasted so overly sweetened that you couldn’t even make out the tea flavor. In addition to that he decided to add some artificial peach flavor to it that made it just plain awful. Never before has a fruit flavoring existed that tasted so fake.

Sadly, shortly after the release of this beverage Big Jak’s bookies came looking for him and things did not bode well for him. That is why we talk about Big Jak in the past tense.

Website
http://bigjak.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink, Iced Tea
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 13th, 2013
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Rockstar Iced Peach + Tea + Electrolytes

Rockstar Iced Peach + Tea + Electrolytes

Welcome back to another episode of “Board Room Shenanigans.” As always we are brought to you by the three lovely fellows at Thirsty Dudes. This series helps to fill in the gaps as to why certain drinks taste like they do. Sometimes you have to wonder how some drinks make it onto the shelves. Here at the show we like to think we shed some light on the subject. Now onto today’s episode….

Gentlemen, the world of energy drinks is shifting and I will not see our empire crumble because we did not get with the times. Consumers are demanding more than just candy flavored sparkling drinks that will keep them up all night. As our competitors have proven the clients want real flavors and new styles. I thought we would be alright since we put that relaxation drink on the market, but people still want new energy drinks. What are everyone’s ideas? Juice infused with whatever it is that gives our drinks energy? Well first off, as a member of this board you really should know what those ingredients are. We don’t need a scandal on our hands. Secondly, do you think I want to hemorrhage money? Do you know how much fruit juice costs in comparison to the sugar water we put out now? There’s no way we could do that and keep our profits high. Energy shots? Those are so last year. Energized iced tea? I think you may be onto something! That’s something new and tea can be the cheapest thing ever. Let’s take it up a notch though, so people think they are getting a little extra for their money. Let’s make it peach iced tea.

In order to keep costs low we’re going to need to use the ghettoest tea ever. You know those gallons of tea you can find in gas stations for 99 cents that are more sugar water than tea? Well, we need to use something like that, but make it even more peach flavored sugar water and less tea. We’ll mix all of that up with our patented energy mix, which off the record I think tastes like toxic waste and we have a new product on our hands that the kids will eat up. Non-carbonated energy drinks are going to be the wave of the future and we’re going to be riding the crest. Who cares if our product will taste like garbage? It’s so new that people will eat it up and by the time they realize just how gross it is, we’ll be sold out and have a new product on the market.

Website
http://www.rockstar69.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Energy Drink, Iced Tea
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on August 8th, 2012
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Buy Now
8 Pack - Rockstar Iced Energy - Peach + Tea + Electrolytes - 16oz.
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