Pineapple (18 reviews)
Barrilitos Pineapple
Franklin really should have been paying more attention to his travel agent when she explained the dangers of wandering outside of the tourist areas of Mexico. When she started going into her spiel of things to avoid his mind began to wander to all of the rad things he was going to do while down south of the border. He assumed she was just going to talk about not drinking the water, and he was no dummy, he knew all about that. Franklin had also watched enough television to know all about bribing the Tijuana. He was all set. Now the only thing left to do was envision trading small children sticks of gum for tours of secret wondrous locations. As I said Franklin had watched a lot of TV and he knew how things worked, or so he thought. It’s now three months later and he has been tied up in some cellar beneath what he thought was a corner store. With the bag over his head he could no longer keep track of the days, but he’s pretty sure he’s been down there for at least a week.
Oh Franklin, where did you go wrong? Oh yeah it was that like always you didn’t listen to those who knew more than you. You strayed away from the path set out for those who want to safely visit the country of Mexico, because of that insatiable thirst of yours. You saw an old faded sign on the side of a building for Barrilitos soda. You knew it was an authentic local pop, and you really wanted to try your hand at a bottle of the pineapple. You sauntered into what you thought was a store, but which turned out to be an outpost for a drug cartel and here you are in a dirty basement with no food or water, and a bag over your head. Sharon must be worried sick, but you do always find a way out of these situations. We have faith in you.
Oh yeah, I know you’ve been holding onto the idea that as soon as you get out you’re going to celebrate with a bottle of pineapple Barrilitos. I hate to be the one to have to break this to you, but you are in for a disappointment. I know you’ve built up the flavor in your mind into something incredible, but it’s really a sub par soda. It tastes remotely like pineapple candy on the first couple of sips, but the more you drink, the less it tastes anything like pineapple. The more you imbibe the more it just tastes like a nameless citrus soda that isn’t very good. I suggest you get yourself a Jarritos instead. Please, please listen to your travel agent next time that is if there is a next time.
- Country
- Mexico
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Categories
- Soda Pop
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 3/5/2012
India Pineapple
Jeez. You know how you've got real strawberries, right? Strawberries are an actual fruit and they're pretty good as-is. If you covered them in sugar, you would have the candy version of strawberries. Take that same rock-solid methodology to pineapples, some of the best fruit that ever touched this earth, and you've got this drink. Holy crap it is sweet. It tastes like candied pineapples, like pineapple candy. I had some pineapples for lunch, alright, one off of someone’s plate, and I can say for certainly that it didn't taste like this. It would have had I poured a packet of sugar on it, but who would do that? Idiots and kids, that's who.
Don't mess with a good thing, India the beverage company not the country. Pineapples are great. If you want to make pineapple pop, just add carbonated water to pineapple juice. No sugar. You'll go and ruin it and no one likes a ruiner. The third album "Ruiner" from A Wilhelm Scream, on the other hand, everyone should like, as it's gold.
- Country
- Puerto Rico
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Categories
- Soda Pop
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 1/20/2012
Schweppes Gold Pineapple
Are you aware that Mike and I are scientists? It's true. We got our science degrees years ago by doing experiments such as the famous "any headphones work with an iPod," "cats don't like taking baths" and who could forget "let's write 100 songs about BBQs." Now that you know are schooling, know that our degrees make us experts on pretty much everything. As you can see we have covered basically everything. It is with this authority that I would like to remind the world that Malta Goya is in the top 5 worst beverages ever created for consumption. The sheer filth of it made me believe that any beverage with the world with the word malt in the title would also be gross to a large extent.
Schweppes has changed my mind. Well the Schweppes that is located in Egypt that is. How crazy is it that I'm sitting here tipping back a can of soda that was made in Egypt? Here's to progress! Now back to the review. This is extremely surprisingly good. With each sip I like it more and more. It tastes like it's made with actual pineapple juice, when it's really made with "flavorings." I really think that using real juice would be the only way to make this better. It doesn't taste anything like I would expect malt to taste like. It tastes like neither a Malta Goya nor Malt Balls candy. Maybe it does ever so slightly taste like a light Malt Ball, but I think this is a completely different side of malt that I had never seen before. It's a side that I like. It's a side that I would want to go get food with and then hang out at a bar with on a Friday night. It's a side of malt that I wouldn't be ashamed to bring home to my mom. Malt, you've changed and if you can stay this way I think that I would like to spend the rest of my life with you.
- Website
- http://www.schweppes.com/
- Country
- Egypt
- Sweetener
- Sugar or Fructose Syrup
- Categories
- Soda Pop
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 1/17/2012
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
Grace Island Soda Pineapple
Thus far I have been very impressed with all of the drinks I have tried from the Grace company. They make possibly the best ginger beer I've ever had, and the other drinks have been top notch as well. Seeing as I am a huge fan of pineapple I knew I was in for a treat with this treasure bottle.
Like every other pineapple soda I've ever had it doesn't really taste like pineapple. Actually let me change that up (No, I have never heard of a delete key. I type this all up on a typewriter I feel desperately insecure without a typewriter in the house. I unfortunately lent out my Martinelli to my friend Bill and it came back smashed), It tastes like someone took pineapple juice and removed everything acidic about it. All you're left with is a sugary sweet juice. While I would love to have a pineapple soda that showed the fruit the respect it deserves, this is still one of the greatest pineapple sodas I've tried. It's not quite pineapple, but not overly candy-esque.
Underneath the cap it also reads "Dubby know who fi frighten." Translations are welcomed.
- Website
- http://www.gracefoods.com
- Country
- Canada
- Sweetener
- Sugar/Glucose-Fructose
- Categories
- Soda Pop
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 12/30/2011
- Comments
- 3 Comments. Leave a comment.
Frubob Natural Fruit Float Pineapple
If I didn't know any better I would have gathered from this bottle that Frubob was a company that made knock off Pez and then tried their hand at the beverage game. Look at that picture. It looks like little Pez with pineapple stalks coming out of the top. Lucky for everyone involved that is not the case. This does not taste like a gross candy beverage, and they needn't worry about receiving a cease and desist letter from a classic candy company.
This is in fact a mixture of pineapple and apple juice, with no sugar added. To be honest if they had added sugar it would have been so sweet that it was undrinkable. The best part of this is the chunks of pineapple in it. They are the size of the chunks in most aloe drinks, but with a slightly different texture. It gives the juice a more natural flavor, and feel. I know what you're thinking, and you don't have to worry. This does not cross the line into vomit pineapple flavoring. It's sweet and perfect.
- Website
- http://www.frubobusa.com/
- Country
- United Kingdom
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Chunky Drinks, Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 10/28/2011
Pop Shoppe Pineapple
As ambassador for the island of Pineapple Pokopo I would like to assure you that I am as much as a professional as you can get on the subject of pineapples. I have had them prepared every way possible. I've had them sliced, diced, baked, fried, fire roasted, shoved inside of various mammals and fish. You have not lived until you've had pineapple stuffed dolphin. My mansion is actually built 100% out of pineapple. You wouldn't believe how strong that fruit can get when it's compressed enough and then shellacked.
I tell you all of this because on my vacation to Toronto you had the audacity to serve me this soda?!?! This is not my beloved pineapple! I bet that the ingredients in the bottle have never even been in the same fruit with any fruit, let alone one as pure as mine. I demand you change the name of this immediately! What's that you will call it "ananas?" Is that some sort of banana? Oh it's French for pineapple. I can deal with that. I've never met a Frenchman, so I assume I'll never run into anyone who knows that information.
Now that it has a new name this is actually pretty good. It has a nice citrus flavor, like it's some candied fruit. It doesn't taste like actually pineapple as I have mentioned in my rant, but there is something similar there. It's better than an orange or lemon soda. I will tell you that for free. That's right the cost of that knowledge will not come out of your tip. Now bring me another bottle, and a fresh napkin. I must clean off my pineapple monocle. Did you not notice that it was just a cored slice of pineapple with a lens shoved into it? No wonder you're a waiter and not the ambassador of Pineapple Pokopo.
- Website
- http://www.thepopshoppe.com/
- Country
- Canada
- Sweetener
- Sugar/Glucose-Fructose
- Categories
- Soda Pop
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 9/29/2011
Jarritos Pineapple
I love when I go into what appears to be a run down corner store and it ends up being a beverage Mecca. At first I walked in and saw one lone cooler filled with the usual suspects of crappy soda. Then I noticed they inexplicably had five rows of Hansen's pomegranate. Strange. I turned the corner and the store opened up fairly large with two full walls of coolers. Excellent.
They had the largest selection of Jarritos I had ever seen. Who can say no to pineapple? Not me, that's who. Unfortunately it wasn't a strong flavor. It had a general sweet soda flavor with a hint of pineapple citrus flavor. I like my pineapple strong and Jarritos didn't follow through for me. Shame on you!
- Website
- http://www.jarritos.com
- Country
- Mexico
- Sweetener
- Natural Sugar
- Categories
- Soda Pop
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 6/11/2011
Langers Pineapple
All fruit juice, all the time is what I wanted my vacation to be. I was planning on eating nothing but pineapple and avocados all week. The problem with that is that neither is in season right now. I did eat a bunch, but I consumed plenty of other food as well. Seeing as it's my last day I. Decided I should see the island off properly with 100% pineapple juice.
It's good. It’s nice and sweet and not to acidic. Apparently pineapples on the island are less acidic, which means no weird pineapple vomit smell. I hate that smell. It's the only flaw in an otherwise perfect fruit. Luckily we're puke free here.
- Website
- http://www.langers.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Naturally Sweetened
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 5/1/2011
Crush Pineapple
In our modern world full of so many natural and small company sodas made with real sugar it's rare that I will choose a "mainstream" soda. They generally lack an interesting flavor, and the HFCS wreaks havoc on my ulcer. When I was in a gas station the other day and I saw pineapple Crush for the first time I knew I needed to give it a try. Unlike other Crush flavors this actually has some fruit juice in it instead of just artificial flavors. It actually tastes like pineapple mixed in with that fruity syrup that you would expect. It's not the world's greatest soda, but it's better than most big name sodas.
- Website
- http://www.crushsoda.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Categories
- Soda Pop
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 4/30/2011
California Garden Pineapple
A drink called California Garden that is made in Lebanon. Well that makes sense. I don't even think pineapples can grow in Lebanon. There's some sort of mystery here that needs to be solved! I more than likely only think that because I started re-watching X-Files. I'm going to see conspiracy everywhere now.
Besides the great Lebanon cover up this what I like in a juice. Firstly, it's actually made from pineapple. You would think that would be a given, but through doing this site I've learned that "juices" are pretty artificial more than you would expect. Secondly, it's filled with wonderful chunks of fruit. We here at Thirsty Dudes really can't get enough of "chunky drinks" as we call them. This is different than most. Normally the chunks are soft and chewy. Since these chunks are pieces of pineapple they are a lot harder than I'm accustomed to. I was able to quickly adapt.
- Website
- http://www.californiagarden.com
- Country
- Lebanon
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Chunky Drinks, Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 3/3/2011