Blueberry (21 reviews)

Simplifast Blueberry

Simplifast Blueberry

Ugh. Every time I take a sip it's like punishment. Not that "I know it's good for me so I'll do it" type of punishment. Not that "Oh this mouthwash burns, but I know it's killing germs and preventing me from getting gingivitis" type punishment. It's the "Who crushed all these Sweet Tarts and put them in this already disgusting juice?" type punishment. That's what it tastes like. 15 thousand Sweet Tarts, powderized and thrown into juice. It's supposed to detoxify, but I'd much rather just eat a bunch of celery, or maybe just perform an enema. Seriously, I can't imagine drinking this entire thing.

Here's the sweet thing about this review. Sure, it's gold already, but here's where I step up my own game. Who doesn't love math? This drink was $2.50. It's on the high side, but I figured, how can you mess this up? It's juice. So $2.50. On the label, it states that in order to achieve your intended weight loss goal of upwards of an estimated 15 pounds, you have to drink four drinks per day. Now we're up to $10 per day. Oh honey, don't let it stop there. You are supposed to drink 4 per day for a week. That's seven days. Bringing our grand total up to $70. $70 in juice.

I didn't need to detoxify. What do I have to clean out? Tacos? Please, leave them in there. I love them. Your drink on the other hand...

Website
http://www.simplifast.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Maple Syrup
Categories
Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 21st, 2011
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Simplifast Detox Fasting Beverage, Blueberry, 16-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Clearly Canadian Daily Vitamin Blueberry

Clearly Canadian Daily Vitamin Blueberry

You've got your flavored waters and you've got this. Hint does a nice job of putting a little bit of flavor into a lot of bit of water and making something both flavorful and pleasing. This drink does a good job of adding a little bit of flavor to a lot of bit of water and making it boring.

Initially it was alright. I thought it was going to be a nice drink but as soon as the temperature rose to room temperature, boredom sets in. It couldn't be blander, really.

I needed be bothered with writing a long, detailed review on this. It's not great and I don't recommend it to you. End of story. Blunt? Yep-ahh.

Website
http://www.clearlycanadianbrands.ca/
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Crystalline Fructose
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on August 18th, 2011
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R.W. Knudsen Sparkling Essence Blueberry

R.W. Knudsen Sparkling Essence Blueberry

After my disappointment with the cucumber Sparkling Essence, I was skeptical to try another flavor. Today I gave in and tried the blueberry. It had the same strong seltzer water flavor that I just can't get into. It does smell and taste exactly like blueberries. I just wish they would carbonate it differently. I did have a friend who likes seltzer have the rest of my can, and they loved it. So if seltzer is "on your list of the best things in life," this very well may be the sparkling beverage for you.

Website
http://www.rwknudsenfamily.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice, Sparkling
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 7th, 2010
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R.W. Knudsen Sparkling Essence, Organic Blueberry, 10.5-Ounce Cans (Pack of 24)

3D Multi Dimensional Beverage Blueberry

3D Multi Dimensional Beverage Blueberry

If it wasn't for stores like TJ Maxx or Marshalls, Jay and I might have not found ourselves loving drinks as much as we do. Some places just don't get some drink companies, and some do. It's unfortunate that every company can't be as widely distributed as Pepsi and Coke. I don't think that the TJX chain of stores cares, as long as they're getting large quantities of stuff cheap, and for that reason, neither do I. I got a four pack of this for $3. Yeah, less than one dollar (USD) per can. In addition, it's pretty good. Not too sweet, rightfully fruity and it actually does justice to blueberries everywhere. I like this because there are antioxidant properties, it's all natural, and they have other flavors.

What I thought was strange about this drink is that it didn't have a scent. I didn't care because it could have gone the other way and smelled grozz.

So, as I sit here writing this review while listening to Sneaker Pimps, I wish that I hadn't just brushed my teeth and that I could have another one. Maybe if I'm good today I'll have another one.

Website
http://www.revolutiontea.com/3D/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Pure Cane Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on April 11th, 2011
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Paldo Aloe Blueberry

Paldo Aloe Blueberry

My boss' dad, Jake, asked me sarcastically if what I was drinking had chunks in it. At the time, I was drinking a tea and it did not. He then sarcastically said that he’d only drink drinks with chunks in it. Challenge accepted. Easy challenge, but accepted nonetheless.

So yesterday, I went through my back stock and found this little guy that Jay and I picked up at an Asian supermarket. "Blueberry Aloe?" I said, "I'll take it." After tasting it, I had to look at the ingredients. It has a really tart flavor to it and the ingredients explained everything. Grape juice. I would not be offended if they re-dubbed this "Blueberry Grape" because that's what this tastes like. It's good. I like it, but if you're going to put so much grape flavor in it, give poor grape some credit.

So I poured Jake some chunky, purple drink, handed it to him and he swirled it around a bit, like a fine glass of wine...with chunks in it, and he drank it. He had a few ounces, defiantly enough to build a valid opinion and his opinion? "I like it." Enough said? The man is an accomplished architect. I think that his opinion might count more than mine.

Website
http://paldofood.com/
Country
Korea
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Aloe Vera, Chunky
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on June 9th, 2011
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Pacific Breeze White Tea Blueberry

Pacific Breeze White Tea Blueberry

Powder drink mixes are great. They fit in small, secret locations so you can have a drink made out of water that you can buy anywhere. This tea is surprising, it is because the white tea leaves and blueberries and yes, a little bit of artificial sweetener, were zapped with a sweet laser that just turned whatever it hit into powder. The company sets up the leaves and everything on a special table in a special room, put on their protective goggles and zap away carefully. Once everything was powderized, they would take the janitors broom, climb on top of the table, and sweep the powder into a garbage can to be brought to the packaging facility.

The answer to your question is "yes." "What question?" you ask? The question of "Do they shoot other things with that sweet laser?" Yeah, dude. It's the ultimate prank prop. They powderize people's shoes and put the powder back in their locker. They powderize some of the people's food, like sandwiches and stuff, and put it back in the tupperware with a Post-It note that says "Just Add Water" and put it back in the fridge. They have a lot of fun but they never are unsafe around the laser. They know its powerful powers and do take safety precautions around it.

With this tea they created, they actually got it down. Nice, light bitterness, good berry flavor, and although it is a bit diet, it's better than regular, bottled diet iced teas. The bitterness covers up any nasty dietness that arises pretty quickly.

I don't know if they are hiring, but they will, for a small fee, powderize anything you want them to. You just need to supply a container to get rid of the dust and you also need to clean it up. They're not working for you. Also, a powderized ham sandwich tastes just as good in a little bit of water. It's frightening, but true.

Website
http://www.sturmfoods.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Iced Tea, Mix/Concentrate
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 9th, 2012
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Owater Infused Blueberry

Owater Infused Blueberry

When climbing to the peak of some mountain or another there is only one clear choice for hydration and that is Owater. Wait what do you mean that the contents of this bottle would freeze in those temperatures? No one is looking to get their electrolytes and antioxidants from popsicles, while they may be tasty, they wouldn’t be refreshing at all, and that is what we want at high altitudes and low temperatures. I suppose one could pour the contents of a bottle of Owater into a container that would keep it from freezing, but then how would that work for promotions? No one would recognize the bottles in the ads. They would just see some guy on a mountain drinking from a canteen. I guess we could slap a sticker onto it, but that doesn’t help people recognize the product in the stores. Maybe we should just start packaging it in canteens.

We have a decent product here people. It has a taste that mixes the electrolyte flavor of Gatorade and the actual flavor of Vitamin Water. It really sits right in the middle of those two brands and I truly think there is a big market for it. I mean we use real blueberry flavor, so that puts us ahead of the competition. We just need to think of a better way to promote it. This whole ice mountain climber shtick really isn’t going to work out. What do we want our products to end up in a Big Lots or some such store? Of course not, but that is exactly where we’re going to end up if we keep with this ad campaign….ooops.

Website
http://www.owater.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Pure Cane Sugar
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 3rd, 2012
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Cascade Ice Sparkling Water Blueberry

Cascade Ice Sparkling Water Blueberry

Blueberry sparkling water; that is what this is. Yep. It's sparkling water, like you would get in a seltzer. You could call it seltzer water but you can also call it sparkling water. The blueberry? Faint. Present. Underwhelming. The whole thing? Fine, totally fine. The flavor is doesn't keep up with the sharpness of the water so you lose a little flavor. You'll always lose flavor. You'll have that when dealing with essence.

Website
http://www.cascadeicewater.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 10th, 2014
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Nuwi Quinoa Smoothie Blueberry

Nuwi Quinoa Smoothie Blueberry

A little grit does a body good. Grit lets you know that there are good things going on in there. Natural things. Gritty things. When you describe things as gritty, though, that's not fantastic. I wish there was a different term to use that wouldn't instantly be seen as something undesirable. This is a gritty drink and although it didn't touch the fancy of everyone who tried it, it wasn't that bad. It smelled terribly but it didn't taste too bad. The banana might have had a stronger taste than that of the blueberry and in doing so, it kind of had a "soft" taste to it. This just kind of tasted like a semi-gritty healthy blueberry drink.

Someone who reviewed movies, not drinks, gave this a two. Me, if it was possible to see a three and know that it was a "soft three" then that's what this would be. It earned a three no doubt but it is on the lower side of the threes and not the 3.8 side of the scale. Eeked by, if you will.

Website
http://www.nuwi.us
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Agave
Categories
Chunky, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 2nd, 2015
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CideRoad Organic Switchel Blueberry

CideRoad Organic Switchel Blueberry

Today Mike and I went on the Buffalo Eats podcast (Eat it Up) for the third time. As per usual we laughed a lot and talked very little about actual drinks. We decided to drink this “on the air” because we thought it would be disgusting and our reactions would make for good fake radio. This is a switchel, which for those of you not in the know is a drink made with vinegar. Yeah that’s right, that disgusting alleged foodstuff, vinegar. It also has maple syrup, ginger and blueberry juice in it, but how could those ingredients possibly compete again the vileness that is vinegar, a product of rotting?

We popped the top right into the mic and the air was instantly filled with the scent of coloring Easter eggs. Ugh. We poured a glass for each of us and down the hatch it was. Shockingly it wasn’t nearly as bad as I had anticipated. It tasted like someone made blueberry maple water in a glass that had previously held vinegar, but hadn’t been washed properly. I can’t believe I wasn’t punched in the face by the grossness. There was a bit of a ginger taste in the tail end, but the vinegar was there more in scent and thought instead of actual taste. If the smell wasn’t there I might not had noticed it at all.

I’m aware that vinegar is very healthy for you, but it’s not enough for me to drink it, and I won’t be revisiting this again. If your taste buds happen to be broken and you like things such as vinegar, cilantro and various other disgusting things, well then chug away my friend.

Website
http://cideroad.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Syrup
Categories
Juice, Other/Weird
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 5th, 2015
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