Cream Soda (32 reviews)

Chubby Cream Soda

Chubby Cream Soda

Absolutely gross. It smells like cream soda but tastes like cream soda soap. Gross. I shared half the 8.5 bottle and dumped the rest. Another waste of thirty-three cents. Can't wait for the finale....pineapple.

Website
http://www.chubbysd.com/chubby%20files/chubby.htm
Country
Caribbean
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on November 4th, 2010
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Big Red Cream Soda

Big Red Cream Soda

When I was asked by Derek to do a guest review for Thirsty Dudes, I was totally excited, but incredibly overwhelmed. All of my favorite drinks had already been reviewed, and trying to find a new drink that hadn't been done before was next to impossible. So finally my thoughts turned to drinks I absolutely LOATHE; one shining beacon of disgust stood out among the rest, and when I searched for it on this site, I found that it had yet to be reviewed, and so I give you BIG RED.



My history with BIG RED is not particularly noteworthy: my friends and I saw it in a supermarket in Albuquerque, NM when we were in high school, and bought a six pack because we thought it would be awesome. We all took turns doing spit-takes in the parking lot of the Albertson's we bought it from, declaring that the only way this soda could possibly make any money is from people buying it to see if it's really as bad as they remembered it being (the answer in this scenario would always be an emphatic YES). And then it was written off forever, and if there was ever a discussion about disgusting beverages I would relate my story about BIG RED and get a laugh or two, but since I've moved to the east coast, there are less and less people who have heard of or tried this soda, because it's mostly a southern "delicacy". As such, this bottle I hold in my hands was shipped to me by my dear friend Claire Van, from Austin Texas.

I was totally prepared to trash this soda. I was sure that my memory served me well, and this would be a 1 star review, but as I fearfully opened the bottle and took my first sip, I was surprised to find that I didn't actually HATE the taste, which is exactly like Bazooka Joe bubblegum (the soda itself is supposed to be a red cream soda). It's too sweet for me, but as novelty, what the hell, it's not the worst thing out there, and certainly not as bad as I remembered it being. That is, until you get to the aftertaste, which is overpoweringly chemical, and brings back the distinct memory of getting fluoride treatment in elementary school. I took the bottle outside and let some of my neighbors take a sip: my neighbor Evan was super excited because he had grown up in Texas, and thus BIG RED is a huge source of nostalgia for him, Peter thought it was pretty good, Kate seemed unimpressed, and Maris flat out hated it. I finished the rest of the bottle in their company on the front stoop, and about halfway through began to feel like the taste was starting to overstay its welcome. Indeed, a whole bottle of BIG RED is far too much for me, and I started to remember what it was that I initially disliked about the soda so many years ago: it's just not enjoyable to drink. It's taste, while not being outright offensive, is certainly too overbearing to be a regular addition to my liquid diet, and luckily, since I had to have it imported, I won't see it in the soda aisle and be tempted to buy it just to see if it really is as bad as I remember it being.

Website
http://www.bigred.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Liz Prince - Cartoonist on June 27th, 2011
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Big Red Cream Soda 2 12pk

Big Red Diet Cream Soda

Big Red Diet Cream Soda

I'm weird because I actually like Big Red. A lot of people give me crap about it, but I don't care. I think it's a decent cream soda. This diet version on the other hand is pretty gross. At first it tasted just like normal Big Red but then has the usual gross diet fake sugar aftertaste. I started to get used to it the more I drank, but it's still not as good as the original.

Website
http://www.bigred.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Soda Pop
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on November 1st, 2011
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Big Red Soda , 12-Ounce (Pack of 24)

Pearson Bros. Cream Soda

Pearson Bros. Cream Soda

I always find it strange when companies have zero presence on the internet. It really takes two seconds to set up something online to help promote your product. Perhaps the Pearson boys want to keep it local, after all we can only assume it's a family company. Hopefully this review won't cause one, or all, of them to take a leap off the bridge featured on their labels.

This is a pretty bad cream soda. I actually feel weird even calling it a cream soda because it tastes more like "caramel color" than anything. It tastes like they had started putting the ingredients together to make a cola and changed their mind halfway through. It tastes like it has everything that makes a cola a cola minus whatever it is that gives it a bite. Instead of said ingredient they put in the smallest amount of vanilla. Actually that's it. This tastes like a vanilla coke, minus some key ingredients. The closer to the bottom of the bottle I get the more vanilla I taste, but for the first 3/4 of it I had to think pretty hard to see if I actually tasted it.

Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on November 29th, 2011
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Grace Island Soda Cream Soda

Grace Island Soda Cream Soda

You know what I hate? I hate when people get perfume in my pop. I absolutely hate it. I often leave open bottles of pop on the floor at grandmother’s homes and you know how grandmas are. They spray that perfume on with a Super Soaker before raging at the Bingo parlor, just gallon after gallon of lavender and Chanel No. 5.

I must have accidentally left this bottle open at everyone's grandmother's house in Western New York before I drank it because this drink tastes like a slew of different old women. It was a lot like the Pakola Ice Cream pop that we drank many moons ago. It tastes nothing like you would expect and everything like you don't want. Not a strong sales approach.

Website
http://www.gracefoods.com
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on November 1st, 2012
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Big Shot Cream Soda

Big Shot Cream Soda

Blech. Oh you like sweet pop? Consider me your number one researcher because I have found some sugary stuff for you. This is cream soda but it is more sugar than cream. I've got two sips invested into this guy so far and I can just hear the blood rushing towards the loins of dentists due to the amount of sweetness just degrading my poor teeth. Otherwise unaroused, middle aged men who secretly but not-so secretly love their quasi-attractive, semi-overweight receptionists and not-so secretly hate their wildy attractive wives just losing their mind at the thought of tending to my dental work due to the unfortunate run in with this pop. Dentists who expensive cars they hate but drive regardless because of the looks they get from girls. Dentists who have personalized license places that say things like "N1CETEEF" and " NYDENT15T" and "BR4CE584." They all want me.

Website
http://www.nolacajun.com/Big-Shot-Soda_p_13.html
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on November 12th, 2012
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Schweppes Cream Soda

Schweppes Cream Soda

Here, if you have a cream soda, and I have a cream soda, and I have a straw. There it is, that's a straw, you see? You watching? And my straw reaches acroooooooss the room, and starts to drink your cream soda... I... drink... your... cream soda!

Wait…You’ve tricked me! That’s not cream soda at all!!! You’re bottle clearly says Schweppes Cream Soda, but it doesn’t taste much like cream soda. Due to the brand and the slightly yellow color my mind was half expecting it to be a ginger ale cream soda. Now that would be an amazing drink, but that wasn’t it. It tastes like Kola Champagne aka bubble gum, with a hint of cream. You have disappointed me twice friend, and I shall leave you now as to not to be confounded a third time.

I'm finished.

Website
http://www.schweppes.com/
Country
Hong Kong
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 5th, 2013
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Schweppes Cream Soda 330 Ml X 6 Cans

Stewart's Shops Cream Soda

Stewart's Shops Cream Soda

You know what, Stuart, I LIKE YOU. You're not like the other people, here, in the trailer park. Oh, don't go get me wrong. They're fine people, they're good Americans. But they're content to sit back, maybe
watch a little Mork and Mindy on channel 57, maybe kick back a cool, Coors 16-ouncer. They're good, fine people, Stuart. But they don't know ... Wait, this isn’t a Dead Milkmen song. The titular character doesn’t even spell his name the same as this soda company. They really have nothing to do with each other, and to be frank, I am a bit disappointed. I wanted to tie in some humorous music from my high school years into a review about a soda from Sarasota Springs, NY.

If I’m going to continue to be honest with you I have to admit that I think the song that is currently playing in my head is better than the soda. It has humor and wit (and a bit of homophobia, but it’s from a character and not the author). The soda is only delivering me a very syrupy, bubbly vanilla flavor. It tastes like too much caramel got put into the mix and it made it even thicker than the corn syrup did on its own. It’s a serviceable soda, but it’s not something I would ever crave, or even purchase myself. I have a certain standard for cream soda and this simply does not reach it.

In other news remember in Stuart when he references the “Johnny Wurster boy?” Yeah, it’s that John Wurster of Superchunk, Best Show, Bob Mould, and Mountain Goats fame. Life is strange sometimes.

Website
http://www.stewartsshops.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 26th, 2015
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Deerfield Trading Company Cream Soda

Deerfield Trading Company Cream Soda

Son, come here. I want to show you something. Marky, you've done a wonderful job on my lawn. I want to reward you. I know I don't say it a lot, but you're a good kid. I've thought long and hard about it and I want to give you this, a bottle of Deerfield Trading Company cream soda. I know it's not much but...what? Marky, what did you say to me? Yes, it's new. Yes, I did get it at Walgreen's. No I didn't pick it up today, I picked it up yesterday. Yes, it was under two dollars.

Marky, you are an ungrateful brat. All I asked you to do is pull up the weeds in my garden, till the soil, mulch, trim the hedges, cut back the rose bushes, mow the lawn, weed whack and edge the entire yard, prune the trees, water the lawn, wash the dog, get the mail, paint the house, fix the sink, get me a Whopper, make some soup, get my prescription, judge a pie eating contest, milk the cows, take my shirts to the cleaners, put air in my bike tires, put air in my car tires, put air in my tractor tires, and put air in my pool floaties. I was going to pay you twenty dollars American. American, Marky! Now I up the ante and give you this potentially delicious cream soda and this is how you treat me? Just take it.

It's good isn't it? Eh?! Eh?! What's wrong with it?! It does taste a little thick and the vanilla does come on a bit strong. Strange, Marky, but yes, burps taste a bit strange. Marky, I'm sorry. Perhaps this wasn't the "thank you" gift you deserved. A simple "thank you" would suffice, though. Oh, well that's sweet of you to say. Now get back to work. I noticed some things on that list that aren't done.

Website
http://www.walgreens.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 11th, 2011
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Mug Cream Soda

Mug Cream Soda

I recently went on a road trip with Thirsty Dudes ally Andy Czuba. Just inside Vermont we stopped at a gas station where I found this. I didn't know Mug made anything besides root beer. I wasn't THAT surprised since many root beer companies also make cream soda, but it was still nice to find something new.

Unlike the road trip (which consisted of traveling 1,000+ miles through 4 states in less than 48 hours, seeing 9 bands at 2 different shows, with only 7 hours of sleep), this cream soda wasn't anything special. It had a really strong vanilla smell, but the taste was pretty generic. If they made a version with real sugar, I bet it would be a pretty good cream soda.

Website
http://www.mugrootbeer.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on September 12th, 2011
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