Green Tea (23 reviews)

Snapple Refreshing Green Tea

Snapple Refreshing Green Tea

A few years ago Snapple switched over to their “All Natural” line. I was completely stoked because it wasn’t that long before then that I discovered that HFCS played a key role in causing the hell that went on in my stomach every night. I probably ingested far more bottles of the new teas than any one human should. It wasn’t too much later that I started to see these cans pop up in gas stations. They were about half the price of the glass bottles, so I was understandably interested in them. I quickly realized that while the glass bottles were sweetened with cane sugar, the cans still used HFCS. I never understood why that was. I can’t imagine that cane sugar is that much more expensive, since a bunch of other companies use it and keep their prices low. Perhaps some people (I’m looking at the folks from the UK) actually preferred the HFCS version and complained. I will never understand that.

This flavor is what companies want you to think that green tea tastes like. In reality it is reminiscent of green tea you would brew at home in only the most distant of ways. There is so much “sugar” in this that it tastes more sweet than anything. It tastes less like green tea than the Arizona tall boys do. If you’re just in the market for an inexpensive sugary drink, perhaps you’ll like this. If you’re actually a fan of green tea I would probably skip over this one and grab one of the Snapple All Natural teas instead.

Website
http://www.snapple.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on August 3rd, 2012
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Sobe Energize Green Tea

Sobe Energize Green Tea

I drank this for a long time and out of nowhere just stopped. I don't know what happened, probably nothing, but then I just stopped. Then I read that unfortunate article in either Men's Health or Maxim that put this drink in the "Do not drink" column versus something that has fewer calories. That being said, this has an abominable amount of calories. If you have an element of self-control, you will be fine. Half this and you're at a standard bottle of pop. Naturally, if you drink the whole thing because you're thirsty or weak you will ingest 240 calories. Vicious.

I do love this drink, though. It tastes nothing like green tea and everything like mint...something. If you took all the bite out of green tea, added sugar to cut it down even more, and then a secret ingredient that I think tastes like mint but half of the people that say that to disagree. Look I'm wrong about a lot of things a lot of the time and can accept this, but I have always thought it was minty.

This stuff rules. Drink it with a friend and don't get chunky together.

Website
http://www.sobe.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink, Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 30th, 2012
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SoBe Green Tea, 20-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Master Kong Green Tea

Master Kong Green Tea

Master. I obey you. I will attend to your every request. I will wait on you hand and food. Master, what do you mean that's not necessary? Of course it is. Your name is Master Kong, right. I'm not barking up the wrong tree. I saw the name with vinyl graphics on the door clearly state that your name was Master Kong. Since you're the only person in here and you're not cleaning up like some sort of maintenance man, I can only assume that you are Master Kong, my master.

I'm sorry, what? You're not my master? Did your parent's name you that? I've got to say, it's pretty rad. Can I get up off the floor? My knees are hurting from bowing to you for the last twenty minutes. Thanks, Master. Can I call you, Kong? Since you're not my master, I don't really feel right calling you Master any more. It's like someone called "Daddy" who I have to call by his name who isn't my daddy. It's strange.

I walked by something earlier and it said you were the Master of tea. That's a strong statement. You make tea? Can I try some? Thanks. Holy crap...you are indubitably the master of tea. This is delicious. It's sweet, a little bitter, and clearly sweetened with honey. It's so light that you can taste everything you put in here. You, sir, are a wonderful and worth of your name. I'll take a case of it, a big case. Oh, that's too big. I drive an Isetta.

Website
http://www.masterkong.com.cn
Country
China
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on July 8th, 2011
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Simply Originals Flax Seed Green Tea

Simply Originals Flax Seed Green Tea

Flax Seed...everyone's talkin' 'bout it. It's supposed to do just about everything which makes it sound like either witchcraft or one of those medicinal remedies that some man on a stage sold you at a fair in 1940. In short, flax seed is supposed to:


  • They contain high levels of fiber, lignans, and omega-3 fatty acids

  • May lower cholesterol levels

  • Help with certain types of breast and prostate cancers

  • May stunt the growth of prostate tumors

  • May also lessen the severity of diabetes by stabilizing blood-sugar levels

  • laxative (poopin')


What it does to iced tea though is strange. It turns an otherwise delicious drink into a kind of unsatisfying, slightly viscous green tea. You can tell that the flavors that you know and love are there, and it's got some decent health factors, although you'd probably have to drink three bottles a day for a month to see any results.

It's not bad and if you need any of that stuff, this is a good, natural alternative to medicine, which I condone to the fullest extent. If you are just a Joe Averageman looking for an iced tea, you'll want something else.

Website
http://www.simply-originals.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on July 6th, 2011
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Gold Peak Iced Tea Green Tea

Gold Peak Iced Tea Green Tea

Do you want some tea or something? You're not sure? That's a strange answer. What kinds are there? Really? Have you ever left your apartment? Green, white, black, oolong, Earl Gray, and tons more. You've never heard of green tea? You're joking. You're not joking. They've been drinking it for centuries and it's been a common drink here for years and years. I...dude...really. You've got me if you are joking. You're being ridiculous. Honor brite. Honor brite you've never had green tea. Really. Man. Well look, here's the deal with it. It's a nice earthy flavor with a bite. Depending on what green tea you get, it can have a pretty gnarly bitterness to it, but it's a good bitter. Since you're starting out, you might want to try this Gold Peak green tea. It's pretty good. It's sweetened and still has a really small bite. It's nice because you get everything you want in a sweetened green tea just toned down. It's naturally sweetened and flavored, too, so you aren't left with any strange aftertaste lingering in your mouth like that giant slice of Sbarro's that you decided to get for lunch. Not very worldly are you? There are a lot of different green teas but this one has a nice flavor to it that is like a green tea 101. If you don't like it, we can candy it up or go more natural. It's a nice launch pad into the depths of green tea. I can't believe you've never had the stuff. It's literally in shampoo, body wash, Starbucks, ice cream, Chap Stick, and like everything else. You really need to get out more.

Website
http://www.goldpeaktea.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on June 29th, 2011
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UCC Green Tea

UCC Green Tea

Imagine for a second. You have a five-month-old kid who won't sleep. He's up every three hours including that awesome "ten minutes after you fall asleep" move which makes you contemplate, if only for a second, that you'll just let them starve and sit in pee for another hour so that you can get some sleep. Due to this constant up and down your sleep schedule is crunched down to a scatterbrained four or five hours night after night. You are up at six in the morning and you get some stuff done around the house and decide you're going to go to one of your favorite restaurants to get something for breakfast.

Your kid is sleeping soundly and for a minute, you actually and stupidly think that you're going to get time to enjoy a meal out without...woop...there it is. You eat like you have been stuck at sea for months and haven't had a good meal since you left shore and don't even get a chance to finish one single glass of iced tea, which you wanted…a lot.

Since you're up so early, you decide to errands, all the while craving the tea that you had no chance to drink. Two hours later you're home and have no chance to sit and drink something because now you've got to do stuff around the house. You mow the lawn, plant a new hibiscus tree that you hope does well in your crappy soil, and try a new weed killer on the lawn which is fifty percent weeds.

Finally you're done. You're tired. You're accomplished. Your kid is asleep. You are all alone with silence in your house. You go into the fridge and there it is. Green tea, just green tea. No sugar. No preservatives. No fuss. You can't open it fast enough. You can taste the cool bite of the tea on your tongue. You wish it would never end. Had that can been bottomless, you would have somehow gotten to the end and asked for seconds. It's perfect. In this moment you are happy. And then your kid wakes back up and starts crying...

Website
http://www.ucc.co.jp/eng/
Country
Japan
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on June 26th, 2011
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UCC Green Tea, 11.1-Ounce Cans (Pack of 24)

Beaver Buzz Dam Good Green Tea

Beaver Buzz Dam Good Green Tea

Mike did not enjoy the Beaver Buzz citrus energy drink. As we all know, Mike it wrong sometimes. Actually Mike is normally infallible, it just turns out he doesn't like energy drinks. I in turn thought it was one of the best energy drinks I've had. I was excited to drink the tea version of it. Non-carbonated energy drinks always seem weird to me, but I'm starting to come around. It reminds me a lot of Arizona's green tea. It’s very sweet, with a green tea after taste when you exhale. It's decent, but it's not as good as the other two Beaver Buzz's I've had. That being said, I would still pick this over most "normal" energy drinks.

Also, it's Canadian and it's still hysterical that it's called Beaver Buzz. I appreciate their sense of humor.

Website
http://www.beaverbuzz.com
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Sucrose
Categories
Energy Drink, Iced Tea
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on June 4th, 2011
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Ito En Oi Ocha Green Tea

Ito En Oi Ocha Green Tea

You, over there with the bad hair! Bring that wheelbarrow of sugar to me. You, with the floral sundress, bring that 50-gallon drum of cherry syrup. You two kids with the hair that's too long for your own good. Yeah, you. What, are you parents some sort of hipsters? Get a haircut but before that, bring those two buckets of corn syrup to me. Don't get your stupid long hair in it, either. This is a sterile environment.

Excuse me, sir. I work for Ito En and I was wondering what you were doing with all these additives. Adding them to this drink? No sir, I don't think so. We won't need any of this. Here, let me take care of this crowd-based assembly line. Pardon me, the little madame with the mini skirt and argyle sweater, could you bring over those green tea leaves? Thank you. That's all. That's all we need to make such choice tea. Put it on ice and you've got a nice drink. It’s suitable for all occasions and all ages: All sexes, creeds, religions, colors, and so on and so forth.

So sir, as you can see, those fixins might be necessary elsewhere, but not here. Ito En Oi Ocha needs nothing but water and green tea. It's refreshing, quenching and a wonderful all around drink. I do have a question for you though, sir. Where are we that everyone looks this ridiculous? Aside from the people we've hired to help us make this drink, there is a man over there wearing a Cosby sweater, cargo shorts, and boots. Over there are twins both wearing shell toes, carpenter pants with accompanying hammers, and mesh football shirts. Where are we?

Website
http://www.itoen.com/
Country
Japan
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 22nd, 2011
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Ito En (Oi Ocha) Japanese Green Tea, 16.9-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

True Brew Green Tea

True Brew Green Tea

Well what do we have here? Everyone has had green tea and I think it's a safe bet to assume everyone has had Arizona green tea and honey. On to an annoying side story:

My dad's side of the family is orthodox Jewish and my mom was raised Protestant. My dad, although raised Jewish, was pretty apathetic about religion. One day, my mom and dad went to his sister's house for some reason and they brought pizza and pop. When my mom presented said pop to my aunt, she retorted with, "We don't drink that liquid sewage." In comparison, the beloved Arizona green tea is liquid sewage.

This had an incredible, natural green tea taste and the sugar was just right.

Arizona, you are a great company and you make millions of people happy. When you grow up, grow up right and buy a case of this sweetened green tea.

Website
http://www.truebrew.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 15th, 2011
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Pacific Simply Tea Green Tea

Pacific Simply Tea Green Tea

For my final trick, I will make this unsweetened green tea good. Wait, does that make this drink sound like it's bad to start? Am I saying this out loud? This is the worst magic...er...illusion show I've ever done. I think that me saying that made it worse. My boss is going to fire me for this performance. Kids, here's a handful of quarters. Pull them out of each other’s ears.

What am I going to do? This tea is pretty good and not everyone is going to think it's bad. It's got a good taste through and through, but these kids won't appreciate it since there isn't sugar pouring out of the top of it.

Jimmy, don't put that quarter in your nose. We're doing ears only.

Where else could I work? I've got illusions running through my blood. I can do so many things that people only dream about with a single deck of cards except play poker. That's something I could never get a hold of. Cards aren't a game, though. Cards are serious business. This tea is serious business. No sweetness, all goodness. Maybe I'll get a job at the...JIMMY! DON'T PUT THAT QUARTER IN TOM'S NOSE EITHER! WE'RE ONLY DOING EARS! GOD!

I'm great with kids, but I don't want to be a teacher. Maybe I'll just get a job at a bank. I can do some cool stuff with money. I don't think that they would want to see their money disappear, though. I know customers like to get in and out of a bank and the usage of smoke and mirrors might be prohibited in a bank.

JIMMY! STOP IT WITH THE NOSE ALREADY!

Website
http://www.pacificfoods.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 7th, 2011
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Pacific Natural Foods Organic Unsweetened Green Tea, 16.9-Ounce Containers (Pack of 12)
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