Kola (3 reviews)
Dr. Tima Honey Kola
Remember when there was a real problem with swarms of bees? They would all band together like an unruly gang and attack, and demolish, anything in their way. I'm pretty sure that I discovered the cause of it. It turns out those bees were way pissed that Dr. Tima harvested such a ridiculous amount of their honey for her sodas. I'm not kidding. She went to Africa on safari and emptied every last nest she found of anything resembling honey or a comb. It was really kind of disgusting the blatant disregard our dear doctor had for the indigenous animals.
I really couldn't believe someone would do such a thing, then I tasted this "kola." After one sip I was ready to hop continents and help the doctor find as much honey as I possibly could. Not only is this good, but I can tell that weeks from now I'll be in my print shop and out of nowhere I will start daydreaming about it. I'm sure I will drool on whatever shirt I'm printing and not even notice.
This starts off as a good quality "olde time" cola. If you're looking for a Coke or Pepsi facsimile, you're barking (or should I say buzzing) up the wrong tree. This is a hand-crafted soda that reminds me of Fentimans' Curiosity Cola. So you take that awesome cola and then you add butt-loads and butt-loads of honey to it. I'm not kidding it's ridiculous how much honey is in this. It's almost like a honey soda that is cola flavored and not the other way around. I love it. I did get some complaints that it wasn't very carbonated, but I thought it was just right. The fizz didn't bother my throat, but it also didn't taste flat. Now put on a beekeepers suit and watch out because those little buggers are coming to get us all.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Honey
- Categories
- Soda Pop
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 10/14/2011
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Sex Soda Herbal Aphrodisiac Kola
14-year olds of both sexes are piling into the store to behold at the Sex Soda. The boys stereotypically make rude comments that only their testosterone filled friends can hear, while the girls just giggle uncontrollably. Children can be so immature. Oh wait, when Neuland and I came across this in the store we laughed hysterically. Our reaction was actually closer to that of the female youngsters, but come on this is hysterical. Sex Soda? Seriously? I think the funniest part about it is that we didn’t come across it in Spenser Gifts, but rather we found it at a reputable candy/soda store. Sure it was up high on a shelf off to the side, but there it was and there we laughed. I’m halfway through this bottle and I’m still chuckling. The label has silhouettes of a couple in various “erotic” positions. The whole thing just looks like it should be some sort of joke, but I’m pretty sure this company is completely serious, which only makes it even funnier. I believe the company is serious because it actually tastes good. It has that herbal soda taste blended perfectly with a decent natural cola flavor. It’s that cola flavor that’s not quite something crazily micro brewed, but also a far distance from your everyday Coke or Pepsi. I really think the herbal flavor mixes in perfectly with the cola. Like many times in the past I find myself wishing that this were just a normal soda and not one with specialized effects. I just want to drink something for its taste and not for it being “boner juice,” which it’s not for the record. It’s my opinion that they are claiming that it’s an aphrodisiac is because ginseng and ginkgo biloba so that it just keeps you awake so you can “put in the real work.” I’m also 99.9% sure that horny goat weed is in this solely due to it’s name. Oh well, I’ll probably be awake until 5am again tonight, due to this. It’s always great to notice things like “contains two servings” after you’ve polished off the bottle. Now I shall continue with my giggling for a few more minutes and watch some dumb movie on Netflix streaming. The quality of movies that I watch has gone completely downhill since it’s become a part of my life.
- Website
- http://www.xtz.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Energy Drink, Soda Pop
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 3/4/2012
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Q Kola
Mario had finally found his calling in life. For 24 years he was led to believe that cola should taste a certain way, the way of Coca-Cola and Pepsi. Sure they had their subtle differences, but for all purposes they were basically the same. The thing was Mario was okay with it. Sure he preferred Coke over Pepsi, but he had no problem drinking either if they were offered to him. He never really went out of his way to buy cola, because let’s face it it’s not root beer or ginger beer and those are his loves.
This morning Mario went to his local health food store to buy some vegetarian jerky (now there was a substance he was addicted to). He went to the cooler to grab a drink to wash down his salty, chewy treats, and that is when this little gem caught his eye. To be fair the store needed restocking and it was either this, coconut water or the dreaded kombucha. He made his purchases and headed out to his `88 Dodge Aries. He sat on the hood and tore into his bag of jerky until the saltiness overtook him and he needed to open the soda. Suddenly a whole new world opened up before Mario. Everything he knew about cola was wrong, starting with the fact that it should be spelled kola. He realized that kola was meant to be complex like a fine root beer. It was supposed to taste like waves of herbs and spices such as cinnamon, cloves, coriander and nutmeg. The taste of your everyday cola was meant to only be a base flavor that these spices would enhance. This soda wasn’t overly syrupy sweet. In fact this kola is almost slightly bitter. Mario felt like he had been cheated his whole life and that he should have been drinking this his whole life. He knew then that it was his job in life to spread the word of the true kola. He would flyer supermarkets, create guerrilla campaigns where he would sabotage the enemy. He would take the soda world by storm and turn them on their ear…..but first he was going to go back in the store and buy a couple more bottles, because it seriously was really good.
- Website
- http://www.qginger.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Agave
- Categories
- Soda Pop
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 9/8/2012
- Comments
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