Angels Aphroenergy Original

Angels Aphroenergy Original

Woo. Where to start, where to start? From the start? Let's go there. Imagine a fully bearded man in his workshop. Now cover his entire body in a thin layer of sawdust. He's working on a pinewood derby car. It's not quiet, though. Oh no. It's laden with the sound of vacuums, dremels, drill and Howard Jones' "Dream Into Action" on the stereo. A man gets thirsty. When the only thing that is in the fridge is an aphrodisiac energy drink, who cares? That's what you will drink. That's what I did drink. I did not think that it would have done to me what it did.

Here is the back-story of the day for me, diet-wise. I had a bowl of cereal around nine and it is now around three and I have an empty stomach. Whatever. I do what I want. I grabbed that drink and slammed it. It was great, too. It was slightly fruity, slightly carbonated with just a touch of that "energy drink" taste. Enough that it was still good. Comparable to the new Red Bull drinks, if you've had those. This was good. Promptly, two things happened, though. At the snap of fingers, the caffeine started to course through me like all my blood was replaced with it. In addition to that I got that thirty-six hour flu that everyone got. So I've got awkward dizziness and nonstop shaking due to drinking an energy drink on an empty stomach. I was like that the rest of the day. Virtually out of commission. I couldn't get to sleep until about four in the morning. I just lay there watching the hands cruise through the clock.

Now if that was that than that would be that, but it wasn't. One more thing and this might have been psychosomatic but it's worth mentioning if only for it's humor. The day I drank this, I could have filled up the boner quota of a ninth grade boy. It's absolutely humiliating but they would come and go like waves on the shoreline. I mention this because if it was supposed to do this, holy crap did it work. I felt like I should have had an English textbook to cover my genitals with throughout the day.

Two incredible images wrapped into one review of a fantastic energy drink. If you are too tired to get it on with your significant other, drink this. Just make sure to eat some food first.

United States
Energy Drink
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 23rd, 2013
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ANGELS APHROENERGY® Aphrodisiac and Energy Beverage, 8.4 Ounce Can (Pack of 10)