Ladies, ladies, no need to argue. You can both have what you want. Samantha, you can have a water and Carolyn, sorry, Caroline you can have a nice juice. Now look, I know you both didn't want to meet each other like thing, but I can assure you, no funny business is going on between any of us. Samantha, I enjoy your company because you like to go to the movies, and Caroline, I like to be with you because we go to fancy restaurants. Now although I didn't want you to ever meet each other, perhaps it's a good thing that you met my wife, my kids and I here at Applebees. It gives everyone a chance to air his or her grievances.
Honey, I know you're upset because I've been spending a lot of time at work when, in fact, I've been catching the latest summer blockbusters with Samantha. Samantha, I know you've been upset because I am always full and that's because a lot of times I just came back from dinner with Caroline. Caroline, I know you're at your wits end because I never want to stay over at your house and the answer to that is that I'm a married man and don't sleep around.
Sure, I entertain the company of several women, but I only love my wife, and that doesn't make me a monster, does it? Sure, I've been lying a bit, but it's just to keep you all apart so we don't ruin the good thing that we've got going. Speaking of good things, while I was at the store I picked up this Bot water. This is why I'm happy we can get together and I can please all of you at the same time. It's a blue plum flavor, which I have never heard of, and I'm a botanist. Apparently I’m not a good one. Right ladies? That was a joke. So anyhow, Samantha, you can drink this and be refreshed and quenched because you always drink a lot of water. Caroline, you love juice and order it whenever we go out to eat. Honey, you can drink this in its entirety and just plain old enjoy it because it's delicious. It's just sweet enough that you keep coming back for more. Also, ladies, you'll all come together on this, that it's not bad for you. If you all split this three ways, it would be less than twenty calories.
So lets all sit down, I'll have the waiter bring over one of those Ultimate Trios that we can all split and we can just talk. Ladies, you are all wonderful and since I've been honest, I can honestly hope that you will pick up the tab because I left my wallet in the car.
- United States
- Pure Cane Sugar
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 6/17/2011
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