Cintron Liquid Energy Cranberry Splash

Herbert is a simple man. He goes to work every day and is always five minutes early. He's never been in trouble with the police and has never as much as received a speeding ticket. He pays his taxes on time and never complains about the weather. Herbert is the ideal citizen. Herbert went into work one day and in the cubicle next to him was a new hire. A young man called Bartholomew or, as the nameplate on his desk said, Bart.

Bart came into work fifteen minutes late almost every day, wore sneakers with a wrinkled suit, and wore headphones blasting metal at unsafe volumes. Herbert didn't mind because the partition between them did a good job of blocking the sound. Bart wasn't a bad kid, just young. One day, Bart brought in a case of something and Herbert curiously asked him what it was. Bart told him it was Cintron Cranberry Splash and offered one to him. Who was Herbert to refuse a gift? "Such a nice gesture. Sure I'll have one,” said Herbert. Herbert drank it and thought it was very good. Slightly carbonated with a nice cranberry taste. Herbert thought that it tastes like a sweeter carbonated version of Ocean Spray's basic cranberry juice. All of a sudden, something happened. Herbert switched his radio involuntarily from Daryl Hall's I'm In A Philly Mood to a local, independent hard rock station. His hand grabbed a black marker and drew a barbed wire tattoo on his bicep. "What's going on!?" exclaimed Herbert. Bart looked over the partition and said, "Hey, dude. Did you like that energy drink I gave you? They're pretty rad. I drank two today." Herbert was shocked. He didn't even know it was an energy drink. "It didn't taste like an energy drink. I didn't know. I don't drink stuff like that." Bart noticed his new barbed wire tattoo and said, "Woah, dude! We've got the same tattoo." Bart lifted up his shirt to show the exact tattoo on his arm.

Hebert used his first sick day of his life that day to go home, sleep off his caffeine high, and scrub his magic marker tattoo off his arm. "Never again", he promised.