High Fructose Corn Syrup (494 reviews)

Rip It Energy Fuel Stinger Mo

Rip It Energy Fuel Stinger Mo

So everyone thinks that most energy drinks taste like Wonka candy right? You know the candy company that came into reality from a fictional company in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. From Nerds, to Spree, to Runts, and most commonly SweeTarts energy drinks are mimicking the flavor of these candies. At some horrible point in a dystopian future Wonka is going to just give in and release their own line of energy drinks with a “if you can’t beat them, join them” mentality. I mean if sugar gives kids crazy energy and makes them go nuts why not go all in? Perhaps it has already happened and Rip It is really Wonka under a pseudonym because this really tastes like Spree. It’s crazy how much these things taste like candy from my youth. Let’s make that an internet rumor. Spread the word, delicious candy is now delicious energy drinks. I’m sure it will end with someone getting sued.

Website
http://www.ripitenergy.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on April 28th, 2018
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Mountain Dew Kickstart Energizing Blood Orange

Mountain Dew Kickstart Energizing Blood Orange

For some reason I decided to give Mountain Dew Kickstart another chance. Oh yeah, that reason is that it’s my job of sorts. Well, I pretty much feel exactly the same about this product as I did with the first handful of flavors when they were released; it’s pretty meh. The combination of high fructose corn syrup and sucralose leaves it too diet tasting to care about the calories it’s saving you, but also it has too many calories too deal with the chemical taste. Also, the juice content is still very minimal (5%). If this were a regular or a full fledge diet blood orange Mountain Dew I could enjoy it more, but the way it is presented now just feels like the company is trying to pull a fast one on consumers. I know they aren’t and I get where they are going, but it’s just not working out.

Website
http://www.mountaindew.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Diet, Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 8th, 2018
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Mountain Dew Ice (Lemon Lime)

Mountain Dew Ice (Lemon Lime)

I need to ask, who green lit this product? This product really has nothing to do with the Mountain Dew line, and it just tastes like any other lemon lime soda. Is this PepsiCo’s attempt to bring back what is perhaps the most boring soda flavor after 7Up went to the Dr Pepper Snapple Group? Wasn’t that Sierra Mist/Mist Twist’s job? Were they really missing out on all of those lemon lime soda sales that they needed to create a new one, and brand it under one of their most popular flavors? I don’t know if I have ever witnessed a single person purchase a 7Up. I mean I’ve seen it at parties and such, but I’ve never witnessed its acquisition and I worked at a grocery store for years.

The only thing novel about this is that it’s a lemon lime soda that has caffeine in it. I suppose that’s where the Mountain Dew aspect of it comes in, but that is a real stretch. Nothing about this kept my attention to even drink even half of this 20oz bottle. I but they are surely regretting the obscene amount of money they must have spent on the Super Bowl ad for this. I’m pretty sure this is going to turn into a limited edition without them intending it to.

Website
http://www.mountaindew.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 10th, 2018
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NOS Nitrous Infused Nitro Mango

NOS Nitrous Infused Nitro Mango

I really want the mango flavor in here to come from actual mango juice. It really tastes like it does, but it is simply not listed on the ingredients. If I were asked in a blind taste test, I would reply, with conviction, that this is mango juice mixed with an energy drink. At the point an alarm would sound announcing that I had lost. Did I not mention that I was on a game show in this scenario? Well, I was and I did not win any of the fabulous prizes. I went home with a belly full of artificial flavoring and corn syrup. Oh yeah, and nitrogenated water. I don’t really know what that has to do with an energy drink, and the internet (aka the NOS website) was no help. I suspiciously think they did it just because of the company name and not for any performance reasons.

Website
http://www.drinknos.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 5th, 2018
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Mountain Dew Holiday Brew

Mountain Dew Holiday Brew

The time is 9:03 AM. A half hour ago I drank Mountain Dew. If someone wants to drive me to an insane institution, I will happy enter myself into the system for a solid week. I could use it. This, friends, is a dumb product. It's Code Red with a "holiday blend." This tastes like a weaker Code Red. Maybe with more citrus. Nothing specifically "holiday" or "festive" about it, though. No cinnamon or nutmeg or bits of leaves or anything reminiscent of any sort of holiday flavors. What is the point of this? At least Pepsi Christmas or Holiday or Festive or whatever that is called has some sort of "holiday spice" to it. This is basically just Code Red "watered down" with 7-Up or something. Dumb. Way to go, America. You've been poisoned again by Mountain (Mitten) Dew.

Website
http://www.mountaindew.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 5th, 2017
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Arizona Green Tea Cucumber with Citrus

Arizona  Green Tea Cucumber with Citrus

Well well. Look at this little guy. Sitting here all full of cucumber. What a nice surprise to see something Arizona put out that I was unaware of. Sure, I might not have my ear as close to the ground as I used to but I was caught off guard and didn't think for a second that I wasn't going to get it.

Let's get down to brass tacks. How is she? She's a lot less sweet than Arizona tried and true green tea. That's for truth. There is a very strong scent of cucumber and an equally strong taste. I'm not going to say overpowering but if you're on the fence about cucumbers, this is not the drink for you. There is a commitment issueless amount of cucumber flavor going on within the confides of this can and I know something about commitment issues. I dated my live-in girlfriend for eight years before I ask her to marry me.

I might have drank half of this can. The whole thing is far too much for me. There isn't anything wrong with it but the whole can I feel is a bit gluttonous. You've done a fine thing here, Arizona. Don't take the half I'm going to dump into the sink as an insult. I'm a little under the weather and cannot share the remainder of this.

Website
http://drinkarizona.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on August 14th, 2017
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Pepsi Fire

Pepsi Fire

When you see a beverage that is called Fire, you expect some heat behind it. The first thought in my head was that this was going to be Pepsi with capsaicin (aka what makes peppers burn your guts). Half of a second of reading told me that it was really just Pepsi with cinnamon in it. Why the masochist in me was hoping for a drink that would cause me to sweat and leak tears everywhere, I was actually intrigued by the idea of cinnamon cola. I mean sure, I’d rather have the option to have a drink on hand that I could use to play pranks on friends and watch their mouths burn off, but I mean I guess I’ll take this.

To be honest, as I took my first sip, I thought that it really didn’t taste all that different from regular Pepsi and I thought I had bought myself a one way ticket to bummer city. Then the after taste kicked in. Oh what a wonderful aftertaste it is. It’s all cinnamon and spice and even a little heat. I can thankfully say that the soda lived up to its name.
With subsequent sips I learned that if you swished it around your mouth a bit, it opened up the flavor of the cinnamon. It makes you feel like a wine aficionado, except without all of the…you know….taste of rot and decay.
I surprisingly really enjoyed this. I do have to mention that after drinking an entire bottle over about a half hour I did get quite the stomach ache and by ache I mean burn. I guess it really does meet its nomenclature. I would also like to point out that if this would have been part of the 1893 line and made with that base, it would have been through the roof fantastic. I’m talking like life changing good.

Website
http://www.pepsi.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on May 26th, 2017
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Arizona Asia Plum Green Tea

Arizona  Asia Plum Green Tea

This is an old favorite from my pre-Thirsty Dudes days. Man those were different times. I drank so much sugar back then and never thought twice about it. How was I not gigantic? I would easily drink at least three Arizona tall boys a day, not counting the other garbage I consumed. This wasn’t a constant back then, but that was only because it didn’t come in a 99 cent can and I only splurged on the extra half dollar when I was feeling special. It was a treat that I gave myself.

Most of my favorite drinks from that time period don’t really hold up for me anymore, because my body has changed and so much sugar makes me feel like garbage. Taking one sip of this brought me right back though. It was the early 2000s. All I did was play music and hang out with my friends. I was in my 20’s it was allowed. Hell, it’s still kind of what I do now. I had terribly dyed black hair and for some reason I tucked my t-shirts in. I was a catch I tell ya. I also existed on seemingly nothing but pizza and tacos, yet I never gained a pound. I wouldn’t say it was a better time, but it was a different time and I had my fun. I drank my teas and didn’t think twice about it. It’s no longer the cost that makes this a treat, but the amount of sugar (45g/bottle). It tastes sweet, but not to an extent that it hurts my teeth. It has that classic Arizona green tea flavor, that isn’t quite what other green tea tastes like, but it’s wonderful. On top of that the Asia plum adds just the right amount of flavor. I’ve had other Asian beverages that said they were plum and they tasted like moldy meat. This is the opposite of that. Wait, would that be fresh veggies? It’s not that, but it is delicious. I hope this flavor makes a comeback because you don’t see it much these days.

Website
http://drinkarizona.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 31st, 2016
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Joker Mad Energy Tropical Mango

Joker Mad Energy Tropical Mango

It’s common knowledge at this point (at least amongst us that read comics) that Bill Finger got screwed on getting credit for his work in the DC universe. The man helped create some of the most well-known comic characters of all time, but Bob Kane got the bi-lines. In recent years he has finally started to get the credit he deserves. I can only hope that if his estate is not responsible for these energy drinks that they give some sort of credit, because there is absolutely no way the image on this can is not based on his character The Joker. I’m not a litigious man, but if credit is not being given, perhaps a trip to the courthouse is in order.

As for the taste of this beverage, I can only assume its creation went something like this: Harleen comes over to her boyfriend Joe’s apartment after picking up some mangos from the grocery store and plans on making them some smoothies with the orange juice that she saw in his fridge. Upon arriving to the apartment she discovers that the orange juice has actually been sitting in there for several years and the inside of the carton looks like some sort of hate crime. The pipes in the apartment are so gross and rusted that the water comes out tinted brown, and there is no way she is going to consume that. She really wants that smoothie though and the only other liquid Joe has in the house is some generic Red Bull type energy drink. With a shrug and a sigh she pulls out the blender and mixes away. The result is this drink. It has a general energy drink taste underneath a very strong mango flavor that tastes authentic, even though I’m sure there’s no way in Gotham that it is.

Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on November 2nd, 2016
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Pepsi Crystal

Pepsi Crystal

So here we are. We have finally completely the trifecta of drinks. When we first started Thirsty Dudes we stated that there were three drinks that were no longer in production that we wished we could get our hands on to review; Orbits (which we found be sold in Canada 14 years expired), Ecto Cooler (which got a re-release with the new movie being out), and now Crystal Pepsi is in our hands. Nostalgia for the 90's is high right now. I mean I snuck into an En Vogue concert last week in Michigan and alternative bands are on the rise once again. Pepsi knew that if there was ever going to be a time to bring this back it was now, and let me tell you, people are talking. Well, there is a slight murmur on the internet about it.

We shot a video of us drinking a bottle and discussing our thoughts on it. The conclusion is that is tastes like re-carbonated flat Pepsi with a hint of 7Up mixed in. It's odd, but still enjoyable. Sure the video cuts off after 5 minutes, and sure we probably kept rambling nonsense for five more without realizing it, but do you really need to hear more of us pretending we aren't awkward by pretending to be awkward?

Website
http://www.pepsi.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on August 15th, 2016
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