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Cafe Bustelo Cafe Con Chocolate

Cafe Bustelo Cafe Con Chocolate

I've been reviewing a lot of coffee drinks lately. I haven't been reviewing much, truth be told, but I've been reviewing a lot of coffee drinks. I don't know why. Probably because I feel like all I do is work, come home, watch my dumb kids and then after they are in bed, just watch YouTube and go to sleep. It's been a repetitive couple weeks and trust me, I'm as bored of it as you are reading about it.

So how is this, you ask? Well, it's fine. It's got a decent but not great coffee taste. I'm no connoisseur but the coffee might be a bit dark or perhaps a little burnt for my liking. The chocolate is fine but it's strong. It might also be a little too sweet. I don't know if anyone who likes coffee would actually like this. I'm right in the middle so I'm fine with it but it's either "too this" or "too that" for anyone who has a solid opinion one way or the other.

I've got to get out of this rut...this coffee isn't helping. I think the next step is going to be a Buick, starched collar and a start to that suicide note I never thought I'd write.

Website
http://cafebustelo.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on July 27th, 2018
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Monster Caffe Mocha

Monster Caffe Mocha

When I saw this, my first thought was, “Is this just a repackaging of the Monster Java line?” After drinking it and doing a little bit of research I’m still not sure. Perhaps if I drank them back to back I could give you a more definitive answer, but as of now I can only say…maybe? This is chocolatey and very creamy. There is actual more milk in here that I would want. While I can get behind a latte, recently I prefer my coffee based beverages without cream. The chocolate in here is really nice though. It tastes like chocolate and not just chocolate flavor. Overall this tastes more like a frothy chocolate milk with a splash of coffee in it, rather than the other way around. All of the energy drink aspects of this are not present in the flavor at all. There is no chemical or liquid candy flavor at all.

I’m going to assume this is different than the Java line, because I still saw those in the cooler, and why would the store stock both? Perhaps the difference is this uses Arabica coffee. Who knows? It’s tasty and that’s all that matters to me.

Website
http://www.monsterenergy.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee, Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on June 2nd, 2018
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Teavana Craft Iced Tea Mango Black Tea

Teavana Craft Iced Tea Mango Black Tea

When there is a line of beverages comes out that is on the fancier side of things I get excited. I dust of my spat and polish up the old monocle in preparation for greatness. More often than not there is one flavor in said line that just doesn’t live up the uniqueness of the others. For Teavana it is the mango black tea. I can be all uppity and say something along the lines of, “why don’t they make a raspberry one while they are at it?” Mango has become a fairly commonplace flavoring of tea nowadays and it certainly does not like up to the expectations that one has for say a Passion Tango or a Pineapple berry Blue. I certainly wouldn’t de-collapse my opera hat for such a peasant’s beverage.

Yeah, all of the above is me being a pretentious buffoon. This tea is wonderful and it is incredibly far from being a tea that anyone would call common. The ingredients are listed as tea infusion, sugar, natural flavors and citric acid. Now most mango flavored teas use some sort of syrup that isn’t actually derived from the fruit and it shows. This tastes like someone cut up a half dozen mangos and let their juicy sweetness just soak into the brewed tea. This tastes so much like actual mango that I am a bit dumbfounded that mango juice isn’t an ingredient. Teavana you’ve won me over yet again. Keep them coming.

Website
http://www.republicoftea.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on April 26th, 2018
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Hype Energy Up Maximum Punch

Hype Energy Up Maximum Punch

From Poland, to Knoxville, TN, and then all the way to Buffalo, NY this brand is quite a world traveler. The question is was all of that travelling worth it? I mean they are bringing that standard blend of energy drink flavor to the people with their original blend, but so are about fifty other companies, many doing it “locally.” To stand out Hype decided to switch things up and while they were doing so they slipping and smashed their dang face on the way down. This drink is definitely a misstep. It has that children’s chewable vitamin flavor that most energy drinks have, but along with that they decided to mix the taste of children’s aspirin as well as some adult vitamins. Perhaps that wouldn’t have been so bad if it sat underneath a nice fruit punch flavor, but things got all mixed up and the fruit punch is the minor flavor in here and all the weirdness is so much stronger than it. It’s like someone watered down Hawaiian Punch and then ground up a whole mess of vitamins and aspirin and mixed it in. It’s not the best. Functionally it works great and I got the much needed energy I was looking for on an overnight drive, but I was really forcing myself to get through this can.

Website
http://www.hype.com/
Country
Poland
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on April 20th, 2018
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Teavana Craft Iced Tea Passion Tango Herbal Tea

Teavana Craft Iced Tea Passion Tango Herbal Tea

Have you ever tasted the liquid gold that is Starbucks Passion Tea? Are you like me and love ever second of it but something about buying it from them makes you feel dirty? Sure I probably buy a ton of stuff from much worse companies, but I grew up in a time when coffee shops weren’t so sterile and we're actually pretty seedy a lot of the time. They were a haven for artists, musicians and junkies. I miss that. I blame Starbucks for the homogenization of them. I'm sure most people see that as a plus, not this guy.
Anyway, so I've bought the tea leaves myself to make it at home and then never comes out the same. It's tasty, but not nearly as delicious. This is hibiscus with cinnamon, apple, licorice root, and lemongrass. It's how I dream anything hibiscus should taste, yet few do. So here I am, brewing tea that never turns out as good, cursing my inability. Then Teavana releases these ready to drink versions. Sure they are sweetened (not too much) and I'd prefer them to be unsweetened, but I will take what I can get when it comes to this incredible spiced floral tea. Now I need to work on not downing the entire bottle so fast and learn to sip and not gulp.

Website
http://www.republicoftea.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on April 3rd, 2018
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Starbucks Refreshers Black Chery Limeade

Starbucks Refreshers Black Chery Limeade

It seems that Starbucks is easing back on advertising their Refresher line as “Natural energy from green coffee extract.” I mean it’s still in there, but it’s just not boldly proclaimed on the front of the can. Instead they are leaning on the coconut water and real fruit juice angle. Whatever they are pushing it is still the same product, well with coconut water added. I think the result is supposed to resemble a natural Gatorade for adults. It has the coconut water and juice to help rehydrate and refresh you, with the added bonus of caffeine to keep you moving. Then again there isn’t such sodium in this so I’m probably totally off base. It’s also carbonated, so yeah ignore that comparison. I should probably go back and just delete that part, but it looks like I’m going to just keep typing out my thoughts and forgo any professionalism. To reiterate Refreshers do not equal adult Gatorade. They always have seemed like kind of a hangover drink to me. I wonder what percentage of their sales are used for that purpose.

I suppose I should tough on the taste of this thing. It tastes like a lighter black cherry soda. Makes sense right. That’s not a flavor I’m overly fond of, but lucky for me there is some lime in the aftertaste and that is something I can get behind. It is all improved through the use of real juice and not just some syrupy mix. I think it might be the coconut water that is making it taste lighter. It just smooths is out a little. Oh wait I just saw that salt is an ingredient so I’m back on the adult Gatorade kick. Nothing but staunch professionalism here.

Website
http://www.starbucks.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coconut, Diet, Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 30th, 2018
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Chin Chin Coffee Blue Mountain Style

Chin Chin Coffee Blue Mountain Style

This is the last baby can of coffee I've got to review. It half makes me sad but between you and I, I've got extra duplicates at home that I can enjoy whenever I want.

I don't know why I like this stuff so much. It's the same review as it always is; it's sweet but not too sweet. It's smooth because of the milk (powder). This did taste a little different but I wouldn't be able to explicitly say, "Oh, that's a Blue Mountain right there." It's got a great coffee taste and is not bitter at all. It's good, though. I don't know why we filthy American's don't embrace stuff like this. This is sweetened, canned coffee. We love coffee here. Embrace it, turds. You'll love it. Why do I call you turds? Because this is my website, not yours. This is my soapbox. You don't talk to the man on the soapbox because he's got something important to say. I mean, he brought that box to make a statement and he's going to do it.

Go to your local Asian market and get this. It's not hard to find. Buffalo is hardly a metropolis. If you are in an equal sized city, you've got a bunch of markets. Just walk in, grab a couple cans, pay for them, and sit in your car and cry because your wife left you for a younger man. Also, drink this.

Website
http://enogee.com/Drink.php?ord=Bst&Drink=21&Title=ChinChin_-_Vitality_Boost_energy_drink_review
Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 27th, 2018
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Honey Bee Basil See Drink with Melon Flavor

Honey Bee Basil See Drink with Melon Flavor

This drink is just as overly sweet and weird as I thought it would be. Here’s a rule you can go by; if a beverage this this bright of a green, it will more than likely be sweeter than you want it to be. The thing is that this really tastes like honey dew though. I mean it tastes like if you cut up a melon and dumped the same amount of sugar on it that your grandmother would dump on her morning grapefruit (or was that just mine?). The thing is that the melon flavor is artificial, yet it doesn’t taste like candy as things like this tend to do. The basil seeds really do nothing. As far as I can tell they have no particular taste, and they tend to slip down your throat without you even realizing they exist.

I’ve been waiting patiently for a proper melon beverage to make its way to me (other than watermelon). This is a step in the right direction, but I really want straight up cantaloupe or honey dew juice. I guess I will just have to make do with this until my dreams come true.

Country
Thailand
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Other/Weird
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 26th, 2018
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Starbucks Doubleshot Energy Vanilla

Starbucks Doubleshot Energy Vanilla

I find it strange that while arguably being the largest coffee company in the US, Starbucks certainly seems to have a lot of ready to drink products that taste very little like coffee. I will admit that this has more of a coffee flavor than the vanilla Frappuccino, but any of their products that have milk in them seem to goa bit overboard with that particular ingredient. While I said the other beverage mentioned here tasted like a melted vanilla milkshake with a shot of coffee in it, this would be that with the number of shots doubled to a whopping two. It’s like dessert in a can. I just wish it has a slightly less milky taste to it. I want more coffee in these drinks and less cow sustenance. At least it doesn’t taste like someone mixed a Red Bull into a cup of coffee that would be Barf City, USA population me. It shares a lot of the same ingredients to give you a kick of energy, luckily it doesn’t share a flavor. In this order this is milk, vanilla, and coffee. Switch that up a bit and this could have been a very, very pleasant beverage, instead of being a notch above serviceable.

Website
http://www.starbucks.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee, Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 24th, 2018
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Chin Chin Coffee Cappuccino

Chin Chin Coffee Cappuccino

So much Taiwanese coffee. I have been sharing the "wealth" and turning people on my team on to the Chin Chin's and the Mr. Brown's of the world. This is good. I don't drink cappuccino. Does it normally have chocolate in it? Is it coffee beans or espresso beans? Who cares? It was good. It was as smooth as you would want plus that little bit of chocolate turned it into a nice little dessert after lunch. Thirty Helens agree that this cappuccino is worth the $0.79 I paid for it. I would have been able to drink the whole can but you know what? Share it with a friend. It's 9.1 ounces. It is fine, even if it is sweet. Hence, split the difference and make your friend happy. He just had to listen to you talk about your dumb kids for like fifteen minutes. The least you can do is offer him $0.395 worth of cappuccino. Plus, even in this day and age, saying that you will share cappuccino makes you sound like a real fancy pants. Tell your country mom and dad that you bought someone a cappuccino and you will impress them more than when you just barely passed high school and got a solid 2.3 GPA in college. Let's face it, if you were truly bound to do great things, you wouldn't need to impress them with phrases like "I bought my roommate a cappuccino." and "I just got promoted to assistant manager at the candle store, daddy."

Website
http://enogee.com/Drink.php?ord=Bst&Drink=21&Title=ChinChin_-_Vitality_Boost_energy_drink_review
Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 22nd, 2018
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