High Fructose Corn Syrup (495 reviews)

Mountain Dew Kickstart Energizing Pineapple Orange Mango

Mountain Dew Kickstart Energizing Pineapple Orange Mango

For a product that seemed to be a flop in the review world, Mountain Dew is still pushing hard with their Kick Start line. I guess it does help that they seem to have stopped pushing that idea that it was a morning beverage to replace your coffee. There is definitely a time in the day when it is too early to be drinking soda, so that being your main marketing scheme was just bound to fail. The thing is that when you take that aspect out of it (as they seem to have done), these sodas aren’t terrible tasting. I think it was just the idea of waking up and downing a can of soda that was turning everyone off.

With these new flavors, the cans mention nothing of morning or breakfast, just that it will give you a hydrating boost; a much better attempt in my book. They are still soda that contains juice (only 10% but it’s better than nothing). As an added bonus this new flavor also has coconut water in it. Overall it tastes like a new flavor of Mountain Dew, but a little smoother. It’s pretty much their flagship flavor with a little pineapple and mango thrown in, and then they water it down a tiny bit with coconut water. I must say I enjoy it a lot more than the original.

The company has also decided to take the route of going half and half with sweeteners. While a lot of companies are mixing cane sugar and stevia for a lower calorie count, Mountain Dew went the cheaper (grosser) way of mixing high fructose corn syrup and sucralose. The diet flavor is pretty much masked, but it still pops out a little bit, and that I could do without.

Website
http://www.mountaindew.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Energy Drink, Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 29th, 2015
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Powerade ION4 Melon

Powerade ION4 Melon

I was had. I am in Florida, Cape Canaveral to be exact. No, I am not here to see space stuff. NASA stuff would be cool and it's actually pretty close but I'm here for a cruise. An exotic cruise to the Bahamas. Part of me thought that the Bahamas was a place that only rich people went to. Since I'm able to go, it couldn't be further than the truth. So, back to why I was had.

It's night time. I am in a hotel the night before the cruise. I need to look around for drinks when I am away from home. There isn't much to pick from around here and I do not know the area. There was a gas station a quarter of a mile away and a 7-Eleven a half mile away. I made the poor decision of taking the shorter route. I'm overreacting, of course, but there was nothing here. I chose a melon Powerade because Florida. We had done sour melon so I thought; I'll do the regular variety. I am pretty sure that the execs at Coke said, "You know what, Johnny? We're not selling anything to those weaklings as "sour melon" so let's drop the "sour" part of the name and keep selling the same thing." This is sour and tasted like the melon did. I'm going to call it a different review because in the case that it is different, you now know what the non-sour one tastes like. In short, this tastes like sour...I don't know...honeydew? I don't know what melon it actually is. Picking from watermelon, honeydew and cantaloupe it is closest to some sort of man-made honeydew. It’s that mixed with the same thing that makes sour apple Jolly Ranchers sour and you've got it.

Florida. You're mostly fine. Don't try to pull one over on me. You're fine.

Website
http://www.powerade.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 10th, 2015
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Powerade Melon - 2 Pack of 32 Fl. Oz. Bottles - Sports Drink

Schweppes Ginger Ale

Schweppes Ginger Ale

Ah, familial holiday parties, what a better time to eat more garbage than you ever would on a normal day and also get a standard beverage review out of the way for Thirsty Dudes. Somewhere in the haze of cookies, pies and ice cream I found myself with this bottle of Schweppes.

Sometimes it boggles my mind when I realize we haven’t reviewed a certain drink. As it turns out when we started this website we wanted to review the drinks that people might not be as familiar with, and now we have some catching up to do on the usual suspects. To me Schweppes is THE classic ginger ale. It’s what was around when I was young and it’s what I was given when I had a stomach ache. Side note to parents it’s the ginger in old time ginger ale that soothed the stomach. In most modern ginger ales the amount of actual ginger included is minimal if it’s there at all.

If you’ve ever had a ginger ale you can imagine how this tastes. It’s a ginger beverage that contains very little ginger, so it has zero burn, but sometimes that is just what you’re looking for. To me this is what all store brand ginger ales are based off of. It is superior to them, but it’s that type of ginger ale. It’s sweet, quasi ginger flavored sparkling water; exactly what you would expect from a “big soda” ginger ale.

Website
http://www.schweppes.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Ginger, Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 26th, 2014
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Schweppes Ginger Ale, 12 oz Can (Pack of 24)

Goya Refresco Guarana Soda

Goya Refresco Guarana Soda

I’ve been trying to figure out how to best describe the flavor of this soda. It has a specific taste that I just could not put my finger on, as hard as I might try. I decided to go back and read some reviews of other guarana flavored sodas that we have written, and none of them seemed quite right. In the past I have talked about how sodas of this nature taste like a fruitier version of kola champagne aka liquid bubble gum. Seeing as this doesn’t completely gross me out and make me feel like I’m drinking a sweet shop, I kept reading. I finally came across a review where I compared guarana to pineapple flavored bubble gum, and I believe that is as accurate as I’m going to get. Luckily the gum flavor is pretty low. Actually, so is the pineapple. It’s like someone took hints of those two flavors and mixed it in with a general fruitiness. They then took that concoction and mixed it with generic bubbly sugar water. The result is this soda.

The bottle says nothing about caffeine, but the guarana plant has one of the highest concentrations of caffeine found in nature, so I’m sure this thing will pack a punch that will wake unexpecting people right up. Me, I’m just going to have a couple of sips and see where things take me.

Website
http://goya.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 24th, 2014
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Goya Refresco Fruit Flavor Soda

Arizona Crazy Cocktail

Arizona  Crazy Cocktail

Who would have ever guessed that carrot juice could be so good? I mean I am a friend of the carrot, and I enjoy eating them in their crisp, raw form, but I never thought I would take pleasure in drinking their life-juice. Let’s be fair, there is a lot of sugar in here. I mean an obscene amount, like 65g. I’m sure that has a lot to do with the enjoyment factor. It also helps that apples, pears and mangos are also in the mix. The combination of all of these fruits and vegetables creates an unusual fruit punch that you won’t be seeing in gallon buckets. The flavor here is almost all mango and carrot. The apple falls into the “sweet taste” category and I can’t really make out the pear.

This could have been a nice healthy juice if it were freshly concocted without added sweeteners, but the high fructose corn syrup throws any health benefits out the window. It actually makes me feel fairly guilty for having drunk this entire bottle. That is so much unnecessary sugar I just ingested. Well, at least it tasted pretty great.

Website
http://drinkarizona.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on November 6th, 2014
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Refresco De Los Muertos Cherry Flavored Energy Drink

Refresco De Los Muertos Cherry Flavored Energy Drink

In a short span of time the Day of the Dead will be upon us. The dead will be remembered and honored as altars are built and sugar skulls are created and eaten. I’m pretty sure that all of those left over sugar skulls that are leftover will them be melted down to sweeten these particular energy drinks. Seriously these things are way sweeter than they need to be. I have compared energy drinks to liquid candy a ridiculous amount of times on this website, so it only seems fitting.

Other than the sweetness of this is it a pretty standard energy drink that has been flavored by the memories of the dead. Actually that’s not completely accurate. At first I thought it tasted like a cherry Red Bull, but with each sip it tasted more and more like a plain cherry soda. It’s very grenadine heavy, but by the time I was 2/3 through with the can any sort of classic energy drink flavor was out the window. It was simply cherry soda water, taste wise. Perhaps that is what the ghosts of your ancestors want and who are we to argue with them?

Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on October 21st, 2014
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Rip It Energy Tribute Active - Mandarin Live Wild Lime

Rip It Energy Tribute Active - Mandarin Live Wild Lime

If this beverage is supposed to be a tribute to American soldiers who are in the armed forces, Rip It surely does not think much of them or this country. One would think that if you are honoring something you would put some time and energy into creating something that is of at least a minimum of quality. Rip It only delivers a soda that is as generic as can be that is extremely lightly flavored to an extent that it seems like they were running out of flavor syrup so they stretched it out by adding far too much water. Nothing about this tastes like an energy drink, which can be nice sometimes, but not when the flavor that replaces it is so unremarkable.

This drink tells me that Rip It hates the troops and wants them to drink this gross generic beverage. I bet this is what would have been given to the troops when they came home from Vietnam and people spit on them.

Website
http://www.ripitenergy.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on October 21st, 2014
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16 Pack - Rip It Energy - Tribute - 16oz.

Surge

Surge

The year was 1997 and just like the white winged dove I was on the edge of seventeen eighteen. I was just about to graduate high school and life was going great, that is until the unthinkable happened: my stereo decided to shuffle off this mortal coil. Being a young obsessive music fan this was the first sign of the apocalypse. My battery stash would only last me so long in my Walkman and those Cure and REM albums weren’t going to listen to themselves. In the great story of my life some might say that that afternoon in June was the end of my childhood, I went out and got a job. I wasn’t a dummy, and I had put off getting a job for as long as I could. Who wants to work when you could be out having adventures, skateboarding and playing music with your friends? Communists, that’s who. Desperate times call for desperate measures and I needed my music to survive, so I jumped on that previously mentioned skateboard and pushed to the supermarket that had just opened up in town. To this day I do not know why they hired a sweaty kid holding a skateboard with real dumb hair. Perhaps they say the desperation in my eyes, or maybe they could hear the Dinosaur Jr cassette playing just a little too slow from my head phones. I was handed an apron and a nametag and I lost 20-25 hours of my life per week.

As with most things in life I kept to myself for the most part while at work. I am also a creature of habit and it just so happened that the pop machine in the break room had just started carrying a new soda called Surge. As a promotion for the new product it was only a quarter, so I spent all of my breaks in that tiny windowless room downing cans of Surge and reading with headphones on. Obviously nothing was playing, but it kept my fellow employees from asking me about what I was reading, or making idle chit chat while their precious minutes of freedom ticked away. This was my personal time and I was going to spend it with my old friend literature and my new friend Surge, work friendships be damned.

In the late 90’s Mountain Dew was running the soda game, and Surge was Coke’s attempt at competition (while in developmental stages it was known as MDK or Mountain Dew Killer). To many it was perceived as just a Mountain Dew rip off, but those people must have had all of their taste buds melted off in a tragic soup tasting event. Sure both brands are citrus sodas that contain orange juice and caffeine, but it’s the subtleties that set them apart. If you ask me Surge was and is now again a far superior soda and I will never understand why it was discontinued while Mountain Dew thrived. It has a certain kick and pizzazz to it that the Dew just lacks. It tastes fruitier (more orangey) and just better. It is to soda what Eco Cooler was to Hi-C. A true champion of its time, and now thanks to a small group, The Surge Movement, on the internet the Coca-Cola company has agreed to bring back Surge (although it is only available through Amazon). I have to say that this is the same Surge I remember. Part of me was a bit apprehensive that it was either going to be different, or that my taste buds would have outgrown it, but this is just great. Be it nostalgia or just a truly great flavor, I will be ordering some more, even though samples were sent to us. I can only hope it will return to stores and quarter pop machines near, far and everywhere.

For those of you wondering after a couple weeks of working my mother let me use her credit card to order a new stereo. She had no idea that I was going to drop over a grand on it until her bill came in. Needless to say she was not pleased, but I worked my butt off that summer to pay her back, and I’m happy to report that most of that same multi-unit “dad” stereo is still a part of my set up today. In other news I worked my job at the grocery store for four years slacking more and more with the passing of time. By the time I quit I was working maybe 2 hours of my shift and spending the rest of the time in the break room, or hiding in the backroom with my headphones, my books and my Surge. Shortly after I left that job to become a computer programmer Surge was discontinued. I’d like to think that it was created just to help me through my work days and once I was gone it felt like it had served its purpose and left us. My only question is that now that Surge has returned does that mean I have to go and ask for my job back?

Website
http://www.facebook.com/SURGE.Soda
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 17th, 2014
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Surge, 12 ct, 16 FL OZ Cans

Mountain Holler Red Howl

Mountain Holler Red Howl

I didn’t realize it until now, but Mountain Holler is the Save-A-Lot store brand, specifically their store brand version of Mountain Dew. This can was given to me by fellow soda enthusiast Dakota Floyd on my last trip down to Atlanta. We always appreciate it when people keep us in the loop of beverage we have not come across/reviewed.

Just looking at this can/name I instantly knew this was going to be their take on Code Red Mountain Dew. It isn’t an exact clone of the original, but it is fairly close. The citrus base falls somewhere between a classic Mountain Dew and our long lost favorite (at least when I was in my late teens) Surge. It’s as if someone mixed equal parts of those two sodas and then dumped some cherry syrup in for good measure. Perhaps it was too much of a good measure as it has a borderline cough syrup taste.

To be honest I might like this a bit more than Code Red, as it does have that slight Surge-ness to it, but I’m sure I would be called a blasphemer by those loyal to the Church of Dew. On a side note, my friend Tony stated that he can’t’ drive past a Save-A-Lot without singing it to the tune of “We Care A lot” by Faith No More. I’m right there with him, as I can also only assure are thousands of others.

Website
http://save-a-lot.com/products/brands/mountain-holler
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 9th, 2014
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Hata Ramune Chili Oil

Hata Ramune Chili Oil

Chili oil. Natures gag gift. Oh, is this regular oil? Uh, no. It's chili oil and you just got pranked. Now your mouth is on fire and I'm sitting back laughing. Now, so that everything is out in the open, here I give to you chili oil Ramune. Now you can know what you're getting into. Is it hot like that prank chili oil? Hardly, bro. Hardly. It is a light tickling and, if anything, kind of a refreshing burn similar to one you would get from a light ginger beer but with a fruity pop instead of a...well...ginger. This is a mix between a kids party pop and "I'm an adult and I'm too old for fun and I like to feel pain when I drink" drink. Where are you on the teeter-totter of life. Whatever spectrum you identify with, this has your bases covered. I just wish there was more pain. I guess I know what side I'm on.

Now, listen. You will be happy to know that this is not only a review for a strange and odd drink but it is a milestone. No it's not a sweet sixteen or a sweet sixty. That stuff is for the birds. This review that you are reading right now is, get ready for it. This review is Thirsty Dudes' 4,000th review. That's right. Four thousand. This is not Europe or whatever where they use commas for decimals points and we have reviewed four and no thousandths drinks. This is America and we idiotically use the standard system of measurement and that comma denotes that we have reviewed four thousands drinks. To celebrate we have provided you with a video that we blew our entire marketing budget on. Our marketing budget is, but should not be, zero dollars.



Thank you to all the fans and if you see us, shake our hands. We have done a lot of drinking and it wasn't all for us. It was for you, the people. The fans. The groupies. The dedicated followers of us, the Thirsty Dudes.

Country
Japan
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Other/Weird, Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on August 21st, 2014
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Hata Ramune Soda Chili Oil 6.6 oz
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