High Fructose Corn Syrup (495 reviews)

Jumex Nectar Strawberry

Jumex Nectar Strawberry

“Underachiever and proud of it,” was once the motto of a yellow, eight fingered juvenile delinquent from an unspecified location in America. It’s also basically the slacker generation’s war cry. “The previous generations screwed everything up for us, so we’re not going to do anything to try and fix it. We’re just going to have as much of a good time as we can.” While I endorse people having a good time, not trying is just a cop out.

I feel like Jumex has a little bit of Bart in them. This drink had such potential. Strawberry nectar sounds like a summers dream come true. I would want to bath in it and then drink my disgusting bath water post soak. Ick. Pretend I didn’t say that. That will never actually be true. So yeah, this could have been the drink that would bring an end to war an famine. Jumex decided to say “Ehhh” and watered it down and added HFCS to unnecessarily sweeten it. There is a base of delicious strawberry puree in here, but the corn syrup makes it even thicker than it would normally be and gives it a weird tang. The water does what water does best and blands it out. Shame on you Jumex.

Website
http://www.jumex.com
Country
Mexico
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on November 5th, 2013
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Jumex Nectar Strawberry, 11.3-Ounce (Pack of 24)

Grace Tropical Rhythms Island Mango

Grace Tropical Rhythms Island Mango

I could go for some nice tropical rhythms. It’s getting cold here in Buffalo and I started to get ready for the inevitable winter. I put away all of the lawn furniture and I started putting plastic up on the windows I live in an old apartment and the windows don’t do much for keeping out the cold drafts). I could use a nice little island retreat before I get into the icy slump of winter.

Unfortunately this drink didn’t give me the feeling of hanging out in the sun with the waves crashing and some weird birds cawing. The title would leave one to believe that this is a nice mango juice from concentrate. One sip and I knew that there was some carrot in the mix. It’s not strong, but it’s a flavor that I have grown to notice in drinks. I have no problem with carrots being added to beverages, as the health boost is appreciated. I just like knowing that it’s in there beforehand. I do dislike the use of HFCS. All of the other Grace products I’ve tried have used real sugar, and that is always preferred. The sweetener in this gives it a weird syrupy taste that I could do without. I understand high fructose corn syrup in soda to an extent, but adding it to juice just seems completely unnecessary.

Had this been sweetened with sugar, or had no added sweeteners, and been labeled mango carrot I can guarantee I would have had a more pleasant ride with it. Now someone bring me more blankets. I refuse to turn my heat on before Thanksgiving.

Website
http://www.gracefoods.com
Country
Canada
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on October 29th, 2013
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Pop Shoppe Cola

Pop Shoppe Cola

If such a thing as a old timey pop shop existed in my town, would anyone actually visit it on the regular? I don’t even know if I would and I am a Thirsty Dude. Sure I would go on grand opening and have a nice root beer or some such thing, but I think it would have to offer me something more. You know what I just had a great idea. “Barcades” are all the rage these days. What if we took that a step further? Why not have an arcade that is also a pop shop during the day and then at 9 or 10PM all the youngin’s get ushered out and the alcohol can flow for the older crowd? Seems like you’re doubling your market with little extra work. (Mike, if you’re reading this, you’re welcome.)

During the day I would hope that they would serve some nice high quality fountain drinks as well as a nice array of bottled fares. I would be remiss if Pop Shoppe was not served at my local pop shop. Their soda is always on the better side of normal/average. They aren’t going out of their way to recreate the wheel, but they aren’t cheaping out either. Well, I guess they are a little since they use high fructose corn syrup. This cola is fairly standard. I would say flavorwise it falls somewhere in between Coke and Pepsi, but it is light years better than generic brand. Also, the bottle would work well for a retro feel. If this idea doesn’t come into fruition in Buffalo in the next two years…well…I’ll be pretty bummed. I need somewhere to play Galaga and drink soda. It would also be the reason I need to go out to bars to hang out with friends.

Website
http://www.thepopshoppe.com/
Country
Canada
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on October 23rd, 2013
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Canada Dry Pineapple

Canada Dry Pineapple

I cannot express my excitement when I came across this in a gas station in Richmond, VA. Actually that is a lie, I can very much express it by saying that I was slightly more than mildly interested. You see, I saw Canada Dry and my mind instantly went to thoughts of ginger ale. When I read pineapple, I assumed this was a pineapple ginger ale. As you can probably guess, this was no such thing. It is simply a pineapple soda. How great would pineapple ginger ale be though? I think I might just dump some pineapple juice in a bottle of regular Canada Dry and see how it turns out.

If there ever was a standard for pineapple pop, I assume this would be it. It has a general sparkling sugar water flavor with a mild taste of candied pineapple to it. I’ve had other sodas this flavor that the pineapple flavor is much stronger, and I have to admit, I prefer them. This is perfectly fine though, although while I was drinking it I proclaimed that I always feel trashy drinking pop from a plastic bottle. That’s on me though.

Website
http://www.canadadry.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on October 22nd, 2013
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Arizona Richard Prince Lemon Fizz

Arizona  Richard Prince Lemon Fizz

I like that Arizona has been associating their new products with various “celebrities.” I have to be honest, I’m not a big art guy by any means, and I had no idea who Richard Prince was. The can (and Wikipedia) inform me that he was a photographer and painter who created pop culture-inspired art for decades. Apparently he is mostly known for “rephotographing.” If you want to know what that is; you’re on a computer and Google is but a click away.

Prince also did a series of nurse paintings, which used the covers of pulp romance novels. This is where I tie in with the artist. Sonic Youth used one of these paintings for the cover of their Sonic Nurse album. It’s ridiculous that learning that fact made me feel like I had a connection with the artist. It’s not even a record that I like terribly much, but it is from a band that I once held very dearly.

Whatever. This isn’t about an artist this is about a beverage. Apparently Prince approached Arizona with a soda he wanted to collaborate with them on, and ended up being apart of the Lemon Fizz release. The artist designed the can himself, so you’re essentially buying a Richard Prince print for only 99 cents. What a steal.

Back to the beverage: This is carbonated lemonade, and it is great. I had such low expectations for this, as I expected a lemon lime soda (the most boring of all the pops) minus the lime (making it infinitely more boring). Arizona succeeded in creating a soda that actually tastes like lemonade with bubbles, and what harsh bubbles they are. It’s very strong, so unlike most Arizona drinks it’s a sipping drink and not a gulper. I don’t think it really needs to be in such a large can, but hey that’s Arizona’s thing, so I’ll let them have it.

Website
http://drinkarizona.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Lemonade, Soda Pop, Sparkling
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on October 17th, 2013
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Canada Dry Black Cherry

Canada Dry Black Cherry

Canada Dry, makers of the top-secret model of a ginger ale, now makes regular pop. That's pretty great, right? Sure. They're going against the "big guys" and making pop. Do they do it well? Meh. Yeah, you heard me. I gave it a "shaky hand" review. Black cherry is a rough pop and it is a lot harder to have a great black cherry than it is, say, a cola. This has a bit of a numbing feeling behind it like you would get from a cough drop. Is it bad? No, not really, but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. Is that harsh? Possibly. Probably. Actually. It's sweet and tastes like an average pop. Nothing mind blowing here. Just a black cherry pop to sit around on the shelf until you meet a person that has either never had black cherry pop or someone who forgot what it tasted like. You're alright to let this one get dusty. Don't worry. Someone will drink it.

Website
http://www.canadadry.com/
Country
Canada
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 16th, 2013
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Veryfine Chill Strawberry Kiwi

Veryfine Chill Strawberry Kiwi

I lived in an apartment with my girlfriend and we had downstairs neighbors. We lived adjacent each other for about a year before we said as much as one word to each other. Why? Well I can't tell you for sure but it didn't hurt that the dude downstairs always went to work wearing a nice shirt, slacks, and was always smiling. That in itself is enough to turn me off because, as you might guess, I am a salty jerk off.

One day I helped the girl downstairs get a mouse out of her bathroom and we made friends. Later that week was Halloween and we were outside with our dog dressed up as a lobster and they came out and sat on the porch. We instantly hit it off. I judged a book by its cover and missed out on a solid year of potential friendship. This drink is much like my relationship with my neighbors. I thought this was going to suck because it's in a tall can, has corn syrup, and just looks like it's going to suck. It is quite the opposite. It is a very good juice that doesn't at all reflect its outsides. It's sweet, not oversweet, and tastes like a good strawberry kiwi juice. Yeah, it's got a little bit of an aftertaste of something but it's easily masked by another sip.

No I am only on the surface comparing this can of juice to the solid friendship that I didn't know I had one story below me but now I've got a juice that I've judged wrongly and a friend that I have scammed, schemed and hinted at having sexuals with each other's partners for the past five years that I wouldn't trade for the world. I would push this can into a bus to save him and I would not do the opposite. This drink is better than I thought. I could have started and ended with that but now you learned a valuable lesson about life and friendship. Make a friend and share a tallboy with them. You won't regret it.

Website
http://www.veryfine.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 15th, 2013
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Tampico Strawberry Banana Punch

Tampico Strawberry Banana Punch

Tiny jugs: my least favorite in both sexual and beverage terms. Sure, they're adorable, but sometimes it just doesn't cut it. In beverage terms, which I will speak of from here on out, jugs of any kind rarely imply a quality beverage. Glass is king. Plastic jugs both large and small often contain milk, orange juice, or borderline swill. This is a step above the latter but nothing you should drink more than once a month.

This is pure sugar and you can taste it. Append that to the fact that it's not real sugar and is corn syrup and has that sting that crap juice carries along with it. Flavor wise it is that of a tropical Starburst but in liquid form so you get too much of what you love. Yes, it is true. If you ate ten strawberry banana Starbursts, you might get the sensation of each sip of this drink; highly concentrated fruit juice.

If you drink this on the regular, expect a knock on the door after the large population of the CPS reads this post. I don't know why, but those guys love this website. Probably because it's a simple way to track the sales of specific drinks to bad parents. I like to think I'm helping some people out there. In this case, it's CPS and the kids who have teeth hanging on by a theoretical thread.

Website
http://www.tampico.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Juice
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 10th, 2013
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Pop Shoppe Grape

Pop Shoppe Grape

Sammy was planning a party in his backyard. He had burgers and hot dogs. He had chips and potato salad. He had beer and pop. He was missing something though. He could feel it. He looked through his stash. Burgers and dogs both vegetarian and non; check. Chips; two bags. Potato salad; German; check. Beer; domestic and international. Pop; cola, diet cola...uh oh. He was missing the most important ingredient of the party. He was missing grape pop. Oh no. People were going to be here any minute. There was not a lot of time. He needed to run across the street to the only place close enough to get there and back; the bodega.

Sammy ran in and yelled, "Where is the grape pop!?" The associate said that it was in the second aisle. He saw that they only had it in small glass bottles. He thought that it was the best he was going to get so he grabbed ten bottles, put them in a handcart, paid, and ran back home to put them in the fridge.

The party started and people were having a great time. They were talking and playing games and telling jokes. It was a great time for all. Sammy looked in the fridge and noticed there was only one bottle left. He grabbed it and took a bit sip. He knew why there were no bottles left. It was a great grape pop. It was sweet and had a good candy taste and even though it was made with corn syrup, it was done well. Fruit should be sweet and taste like candy.

After everyone left, some of the people came up to ask him where he got that pop. He told them across the street and actually watched people leave his house and go right to the store. Success.

Website
http://www.thepopshoppe.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 3rd, 2013
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NOS High Performance Energy Drink Charged Citrus

NOS High Performance Energy Drink Charged Citrus

I equate NOS with everyday cars that kids soup up with kits and parts to make them faster and look cooler, mainly so they can hang out in local parking lots at night and show off what they have done. These cars, such as a Ford Focus, never were meant to be fast cars, but these kids dump all their money into putting parts in to make them that way. They would even go as far as to swap out engines and put in NOS systems for a little extra boost. In reality they could have just used all of the money they have spent making a “crappy” car “fancy” on a car that was that way to begin with, but I guess the process is part of the enjoyment. I mean everyone needs a hobby.

Now NOS energy drink takes a normal person’s fairly unhealthy body and gives it a little shot, so that they can feel what it would be like to be a little healthier and to have more energy. It has mplx6 for enhanced mental focus and high performance energy, what ever that is.

I have always had a disinterest in all things car related, so by default I have also stayed away from this brand of energy drinks. In fact this is the first one I have ever drunk. You know what? I was correct to stay away. This tastes like a bad Mountain Dew rip off, which isn’t anything great to begin with. It doesn’t have much of a traditional energy drink taste to it, which I generally applaud, but the base flavor is just something I have no taste for. I’ll stick to my little Chevy hatchback that gets good gas mileage, and can be parked anywhere.

Website
http://www.drinknos.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on October 2nd, 2013
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NOS Charged Energy Drink, Citrus, 16-Ounce (Pack of 12)
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